Lie

06:12, 6 February 2016

"I didn't choose the Bangtan life, the Bangtan life chose ME." I squealed.

My friend Lena smiled while she had her tickets held close to her chest.

"I'm finally going to watch BTS Live." She said.

"I told you coming down to Korea to visit me was going to be unforgettable." I told her.

She nodded and soon we were entering the venue. We had front row seats so we were beyond excited.

Although as we made our way to our seats, we got a bunch of nasty stares.

Some k-fans aren't so nice...

I'm not a k-fan, I'm an international fan, who moved to Korea about 2 years ago.

It hasn't been quiet the best experience, actually, it isn't the best experience at all. Literally all my expectations were shot down like wild fire.

The job I was offered has me working my butt off. Tonights my only day off and tomorrows back to work. But here I am, at a BTS concert!

Before I knew it, the concert started and I couldn't have been more overwhelmed watching all of them.

Rap Monster, Jin, Suga, V, Jimin, Jungkook, and lastly. My baby J-Hope.

My ultimate bias.

Seriously he's changed my life for the better, he's the perfect role model and a huge inspiration for me.

He gave me hope.

And still does.

The concert was over and I was a hot mess by the end. My makeup was smudged from all the crying, my hair was frizzy as can be from the sweat, and to top it all off, my throat is dry and sore.

Lena and I walked back to my apartment and immediately went to bed.

I took out my phone and went on Twitter, J-Hope just posted. Aww~

Then I went to fancafe and noticed all of them posted there.

Surprisingly, the boys post way more on fancafe than they do on Twitter. Who knows why?

Regardless, tonight was a great night. Despite that none of them noticed me, I didn't care. I watched them and loved every second of it. Those boys seriously are everything to me.

With that, I placed my phone under my pillow and went to sleep.

Although I wish I can fan girl allll night, like when I was 18. But I'm 20 now, with a job and under minor depression.

Sigh.

》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》

-Next Morning @ work-

My gosh can this day go any freaking slower? I want to go home and eat then sleep.

I'm a dentist assistant and I feel like I work way more than the actual dentist sometimes. All he does is check peoples teeth and work his magic.

Meanwhile, I gotta set up everything, call in patients, clean up afterwards. Ugh. So much work.

At last it was my break time and I was sooo ready to devour a cup of bubble tea.

I grabbed my wallet and walked over to the nearby Cafe. There, I ordered myself a small sandwich and a strawberry bubble tea.

Korean isn't my first language, so I'm still having trouble with it. But thankfully some Koreans are very nice and understanding. Meanwhile others just look at you like you're a Cyclops.

Anyways, I waited by the counter for my order while I scrolled through my phone.

I see my baby Hobi updated,

'Have a wonderful day Armys~'

He is such a sweety pie. Oh my little baby sweety pie~

I retweeted his tweet and left a comment stating just how much I love him. Although I will never get noticed, I still do it.

I smiled as I socialized on social media.

Just then a boy with a blue snapback worn backwards walked inside and stood a few feet away from me. Waiting patiently to be attended.

I didn't bother to look up until I heard him speak.

"May I get 4 strawberry bubble teas? And a coke. Oh and uh.. damn what did hyung want? Oh yeah, an iced coffee."

Employee: Yes sir.

That's...

I looked up and tried my best to not scream, or cry, or fan girl or even show any sign of SHOCKED.

Before me stood PARK JIMIN.

The cutie!

The one from BTS!

The one that flashes his abs in everyones faceu!

He turned his head and he noticed me.

My heart stopped.

I can't see his eyes since he's wearing dark shades, but he smiled lightly and turned away.

PARK JIMIN JUST SMILED AT ME.

I remained staring at him until he turned again and I forcefully looked away trying to act cool.

He chuckled and looked away again.

I'm blushing so hard just because he chuckled, he must know I'm a fan.

"Strawberry bubble tea?" The employee said.

"Yes!" We both said.

I looked at Jimin and he looked right back at me. Seems like he's shocked a foreigner can speak Korean. Then again, it's not really that shocking.

Omg stop looking at me babe, you're killing me!

Employee: Mam, your order?

I snapped out of it, "Oh Gamsahabnida!" I bowed took my bag and fled without sparing a glance at Jimin.

Once I made it down the block normally, I squealed and broke out into my happy dance~

I can't believe I was THAT close to a BTS member! Better yet, Jimin! Oh he is sooo flawless in person. Ggaahhhh!

I took out my phone and texted Lena what just happened. Seconds later she called me and we both were so happy.

But it's time to get back to reality

After I ate my lunch I went straight back to work. At the dental office.

Sometimes I think my life sucks, like what am I doing? Why aren't I happy? I have a good career, good income, decent apartment.

What am I missing?

Love?

But I'm not ready to be in a relationship, one because of my hectic schedule, and two.

Because of J-Hope

He makes it hard to date. Because it isn't him! Haha. I'm crazy...

Sigh.

At least he gives me hope (:

Finally I was going home and I couldn't have been anymore happier!

Today was rough yet exciting because I saw Jimin and he smiled at me. Although I wish we had talked but, what were my chances? 0.

Those boys can't even date. Or go out.

They're like isolated. I sometimes feel bad for them, then again they should only focus on their career.

Once I reached home Lena came running to me. "Omg so tell me! What was he like? What'd he say!"

"Not much he was just ordering but.. he smiled at me."

We both squealed.

"Omg did you say hi or anything?" She asked.

"No? I was dying." I admitted.

She giggled, "You should've waved or something! Damn I'm so jealous. Did you at least take a picture?!"

"Didn't you hear? I was dying! Literally the boy caught me by surprise!"

She sighed, "Next time try to snap a pic!"

"And expose where he goes to buy bubble tea? Nah-ah. I'm sparing his freedom."

"But-"

"That was it. There's nothing more to it."

"How can you just say that?! It's Park Jimin from BTS for crying out loud! Those boys are rare to be seen in public."

"I know. But maybe it's rare for a reason? I mean look how you're acting."

"I'm a fan -_-"

"Yeah but they deal with fans all the time. I'm sure they miss doing things like going to a Cafe and buying bubble tea."

"But it's BTS."

"I know, Lena."

She rolled her eyes, "Well lucky girl, I'm heading to bed. When's your next day off? I'm really bored here..you promised we were going to have fun!"

"We will! I'm just...busy."

She groaned, "Whatever." She went to the guestroom and slammed the door.

I feel bad I can't hang with her but I literally thought she was only going to stay for 2 days. The day of the concert and then an extra day. Not a full week?

I shrugged and checked fancafe.

I smiled instantly, Jimin posted a picture drinking his bubble tea. Teehee. I saw you when you got it baby~

It made me feel happy and special.

Afterwards, I washed up then snuggled into bed and drifted off to sleep.

In my dreams and away from reality, with J-Hope~

》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》

-Next day @ work-

Another friggen boring day.

At work.

Working.

Being occupied.

Sometimes I just wanna stay in bed all day and sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

Ahh but nope. I gotta make a living.

I finished setting up the station and went out to call in the next patient.

I grabbed the folder that awaited me and opened it as I stepped out into the waiting room.

"Jung Hoseok." I called.

Wait-

"Here," he said and walked to me. "Anneyong." He smiles

It's..

It's uhm..what was his stage name again?

I dropped my pen.

He noticed, "Oh." He mumbled and picked it up for me. I watched in shock, "Here ya go." He said with a slight smile.

I nervously grasped the pen and took it, "Uh..Gamsahabnida.." I nearly whispered.

Just stay calm and everything will be ok.

MY GOSH HE'S TALL AND FLAWLESS.

OMMMGGGG.

"Follow me sir.." I said and turned away and walked.

I felt him right behind me which gave me goosebumps. We arrived to the small area and he gladly sat down on the dentist chair.

With shaky hands I began to set him up for the dentist. I clipped on his blue sheet over his chest, ask him certain questions regarding his health and making sure all the tools were in tact.

Remarkably I did that rather smooth and fast, I almost seemed too professional.

I was putting on my gloves when..

"You know what I sometimes get sick of?" He asked.

Omg he just spoke to me.

First Jimin's smile and now Hobi's questions? What's next? Taehyung's hugs?

I gulped. "No sir..what?" I asked nervously.

"Attention." He said.

Attention?

"W-whys that sir?" I asked and turned to face him.

He sat up slightly and locked eyes with me, "Sometimes I wish I can be normal." He said.

But you are...you're perfect.

He layed back down, "I don't know. Being an idol and all..can be too much sometimes. I'm expected to be this perfect ideal guy, always look good, be happy and cheerful. But I'm just human? I make mistakes. I have my bad moments, lonely ones too, I sometimes want to runaway from everything and....be free."

Where is this coming from? It's breaking me!

He looked at me and chuckled, "Sorry.. I'm sorry..you have no idea what I'm talking about. Forget what I said, I have a lot on my mind. Whats your name?" He asked.

What am I supposed to do now? My bias is depressed...and Army's don't even know. So what he puts up on broadcast and his bombs is fake? It's all an act? I'm upset....

"Mam?" He said.

"Oh. My name..it's Mai." I said and looked away

"Mai. That's a nice name, you live in Korea?" He asked.

"Mhm. 2 years now." I added.

"Hm. Cool. Your Korean accent is kinda funny but don't worry, I understand you." He winked.

I blushed so hard.

Finally the dentist came in and worked his magic. Hoseok was actually calm and still. His cleansing finished faster than I could move.

"Thank you so much, sir. And you too Mai. You're a great assistant." He waved and walked out of the room.

Goodbye my baby....be safe.

Gosh I don't know what to do, I want to inform Armys how he's feeling but then again....no. I can't. That was most likely personal and I think he'd like it if I kept my mouth shut.

But damn that was kinda deep..what did it all mean? Do Amrys make him upset?

What a bummer...

"Mai get this place ready. We're packed today."

"Yes sir." I said and began to clean.

Meanwhile I couldn't stop thinking about Hoseok.

》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》》

Work is over and I can finally go home.

But first I think I'll stop by for some bubble tea, I didn't have time to get myself anything earlier. Today was a busy day.

I happily walked inside and ordered what I desired then waited by my usual spot.

As I waited I took out my phone and checked Fancafe.

Hobi posted.

'Hope you had a splendid day Amrys, I sure did, went to the dentist and back. Nice Hobi day!'

Usually I'd smile like an idiot but I'm not..because he's lying. He wasn't happy. Not with what he shared with me.

He wants to be free? What?

Just then I gasped and my eyes widen.

He turned his head and smiled in shock, "Oh hey Mai."

J-Hope is here. Like here in front of me again! OMF!

"Did you just come out of work?" He asked.

I just realized he remembers my name..omg he remembers my name..holy..

"Uh..yeah. I did." I said and held my arm nervously.

Gosh how are you so flawless?

"Tired huh?" He said.

I looked up at him, "Yeah..tired. so tired. Haha.."

I can't even talk right.

He chuckled, "Trust me it'll get better. Drink some hot tea and take a cool shower, you'll wake up fresh as a daisy." He said.

I lightly smiled, "I'll take it in consideration."

He smiled then he ordered.

Watching you is enough to make me happy, but I don't want you to feel sad.

He looked back at me, "What'd you order? I'm curious."

Does he normally talk to people like this? I mean I swear if he knew I'm a fan..

"A strawberry bubble tea." I mumbled.

"Ahhh. I see. Hehe I did too. They're good right?"

"Mhm..my favorite." I blushed and looked away.

I can't believe this is happening, this doesn't feel real at all.

"Do you live far from here?" He asked suddenly.

"Uhm..no. Maybe..but I-"

"I can walk you."

(⊙_⊙)

"What?" I said.

"Do you mind if I walk you home?" He asked.

NO BUT YOU CANNOT.

"No thank you..you're so kind but no please, I don't want to be a burden."

"No I insist. Please? I kinda just need to take a walk anyways." He shrugged.

Maybe I can find out why he's feeling all down and maybe help him?

I smiled softly, "Ok sure..if you don't mind."

He smiles, "Excellent."

We each got our orders and left the Cafe, we walked side by side.

I'm so nervous.

"This is nice. I miss this." He said and smiled out into the open.

His smile...

"So Mai, what made you move here?" He asked.

Here we go..

"Well to be honest..."

I came here for you!

Haha jk.

"Things just weren't going well where I grew up so..what better place than South Korea!" I cheered.

Where all my expectations were ruined, damn was I close minded.

"What's there to see here? It's just Korea. Don't get me wrong though..but it's just. I dunno..I'd rather live in L.A." he said.

I smiled, I'm sure you do..after your AHL experience.

"Do you have any other jobs other than the one you have?" He asked.

Hobi seems to be the curious type. I love it ^-^

"No. I'm working my way up to be an official dentist though. But for now, I'm ok with where I am."

He nodded, "Cool."

Now it's your turn.

"So what's up with you?" I asked, "You seemed pretty low since the last time I saw you." I slurpped on my tea.

"Mm..well, incase you don't know. I'm J-Hope from BTS."

I know that!

...

But you don't....hmmm

"From what?" I asked.

He looked at me oddly, "You don't know who I am?"

"Nope." I lied.

Let me act dumb.

"Oh..haha well isn't this awkward uhm.. ok forget what I said. Let me properly introduce myself.

We stopped walking and he shook my hand.

"I'm Jung Hoseok. Stage name J-Hope, from BTS."

Omg you just made my life right now.

"H-hi.." I mumbled.

He smiles, "You're not a fan are you?"

Yes.

"No." I lied again.

"Good. This will be interesting then."

"How so?"

"It just will be. You know I would never get near a fan like this. They'd go crazy and want to be all over me sometimes. Honestly many have flirted with me at fan signs and many have caught my eye..but they don't know me. Like know me know me. I see them as just another fan." Hs frowned, "Thats it. And it's sad because.. I sometimes wish I had someone special...but I'm afraid I'll never find her...you know?"

My hearts throbbing and I'm about to cry.

"Anyways lets keep walking." He said and pulled me to walk.

I can't believe this is happening. This isn't a dream is it?

The rest of the walk we talked about random things, like anything that had nothing to do with fame or fans.I didn't say much, I hardly spoke.

"Well I'm home. Thanks again, Hoseok." I said with a smile.

He nods, "It's no problem. Thank you, for getting my mind off of things for a while. It was nice." He smiles

"Sure...you can call me any time." I jokingly said.

"Jinjja oh well then what's your number?"

(⊙_⊙)

"What?"

"Your number. What is it?" He handed me his phone.

"Uh..ok.." I mumbled and typed in my number