45

Kyrin

I sat in the car driving with Langston in the passenger seat as we rode to Dallas to my hotel. In order to do what we needed to do we had to be in Dallas. The ride was more than halfway over when my phone began ringing.

It was my Ember and reluctantly I answered. "You're on the car speaker, Langston's in the car, what's up?"

"I'm surprised you answered the damn phone! Have you spoken to my sister?" She yelled.

"Who Phoebe?" I asked confused.

"No." She replied.

"Who then? Tiffany?"

"No bitch! I'm talking about Janet."

"Well shit, how was I supposed to know that? But no. I'm in Texas she's in LA." I commented dryly as I got into the fast lane. "Why didn't you just text and ask me that?"

"Because you wouldn't have answered. I think you should talk to her."

I shook my head. "I'm barely talking to you and your sister right now so why did Janet tell you to call me? Quit playing with me and shoot it straight."

Ember sighed. "It wasn't her, it was Joey. He said she's been worried sick. Why'd you break up with her? It's not that serious Kyrin. I just think—."

My finger pushed in the button on my steering wheel, and a loud beep let me know that the call had ended. I was sick of everyone else's opinions on every fucking thing I did. Damn! Cut me a fucking break!

Langston took a breath. "You broke up with her?"

"Langston, not now."

"Alright fine." He let it go for no more than a second before asking. "Well why did you do it though?"

"If I could push you out of this damn car I would. I did it because I'm grown and I make my own decisions. My daddy dead, so I'm not finna answer too many more of your questions. You don't hold no weight."

"Get out your damn heart, I was just asking you a question." He mugged me.

I took a deep breath as I spotted a sign on the side of the highway with an arrow and 5 miles next to it. Getting over into the other lanes, I decided I would go pay a friend of mine a visit.

Langston was quiet until I took the exit which caused him to voice out. "Where the hell are we going?"

"Just shut up and ride." I muttered as I pulled on the street and up to the gate. The security guard looked inside the window before smiling and letting me through. I was surprised they still had the same security officer.

Parking, Langston refused to get out. "Hell nah, I don't do these places and you know this."

"Fine. Stay here. I'll be back." I got out the car and grabbed my phone and purse as I walked towards the doors. When I opened them, cold air hit my body as I found my way to the sanctuary.

A sultry voice was attached to the microphone and I just knew it from anywhere. "Mic check 1. Mic check 2. Mic check. Mic check. Yeah that's good. I don't hear the static anymore. Thanks T, you can go!"

The lights were dimmed and showcasing a blue background with green leaves on top. I spoke where she could hear me as I walked in. "You still sanctified heffa?"

"Hm." As she picked her Bible up from the platform she spoke into the mic. "Depends, you still sinning woman?"

I chuckled and nodded. "Well yeah. I am."

"Well then there's the answer to your question as well. Welcome to The Potters House." She put the mic down and traveled down the steps as she met me in front of the pulpit. We hugged tightly. "I've missed you KP."

"I've missed you too SJ." I replied truthfully.

"How've you been?" She asked as she released from the hug. "How's life? Tell me everything."

"Well the guards just let me in without any problems. I was shocked it's still Mr. Mal."

She chuckled. "You know daddy don't like to forget who helped him before he had much. Now you surely did skip around my question there though, how have you been?"

"I've been okay."

"That was a lie." Sarah sat down in the pew and patted the spot next to her for me to do the same. "What's up sis? Might have been a while since high school but I still know you."

I hesitated before replying. "Well dad's gone.."

"Gone where?"

"He passed about a month or two ago Sarah."

My friend took a deep breath. "Lord... I'm sorry to hear that Kyrin. I know how much he meant to you. You should have called me."

"I know. I know. I just— I wasn't thinking about it. I just wanted to be able to know he was taken care of as far as the services went."

"Well, we both know he was something for the people. How's Langston? You two still going strong?"

I shot her a look. "After high school, I packed my things and went to UCLA. Langston and I broke it off but we're still close."

"So who is it?"

"Huh?"

"Who is it that has you glowing because you caught my eye when you walked into this room. This is a different type of glow you have going right now. Whose responsible for this?"

Chuckling I replied. "My girlfriend. Oh should I say that in the sanctuary?"

Sarah nudged me. "God loves all of his children. You know that. Tell me more girly."

"I'm dating Janet Jackson." I mumbled because Sarah has a dramatic streak in her.

She exclaimed loudly anyways. "You are lying! I need proof!" Unlocking my phone, I showed her my home screen which was a picture of Janet, Eissa and I. Sarah squealed. "Aw, now that's adorable. You two make a cute couple."

I threw her a toothless grin. "Thanks."

"See. That's what I mean, what's going on? Why the toothless grin? I'm your mentor, big sister, but I was your home girl before any of that. I still know you. What's been going on?"

"I snapped the other day Sarah. We were all at a restaurant, Janet and her folks and my sisters and I."

"When you say snapped, you mean that person you put away came back, correct?" She asked me for clarification.

Nodding, I spoke. "Yeah. I snapped on my sisters and she left."

"Who left?"

"Janet." I replied. "She left me at the restaurant. That means that she'll always leave when things get rough though Sarah. That means that everything changes. Everyone leaves eventually— everything falls through eventually. It's just a matter of time before everyone walks out just like my mom did."

Sarah nodded. "Ah, there it is. There's the real trigger. You love her?"

"Yeah."

"She loves you?"

For the first time in forever, I hesitated before answering. "I- I don't know."

She didn't take that answer. "You do know. Does that woman love you Kyrin?"

I looked at her and nodded slowly. "She does."

"So let me say this before I even get to the root. This abandonment issue that you have has to be taken care of. She's not going anywhere if she hasn't went yet. I know that she walked out, but I'm pretty sure it was only because of her career status. Now would I have walked out? No, but I'm not in her shoes. You aren't in her shoes Kyrin. She probably had to walk out, she probably didn't want too. You gotta communicate."

"I did."

"Was it effective communicating?"

Shaking my head, it caused her to sigh but I clarified. "I told her that she hurt me, and I told her that I was beginning to have doubts but then I told her that I thought we should take a break."

"Is that what you want to do? You know breaks lead to break ups, so tell me this, can you live the rest of your life without that woman?"

"No. That would be a nightmare."

"So what you sitting next to me for? Go fix that. Where you staying?"

"The Renaissance." I replied. "You know my house in Houston."

"How's mama taking your dads death?"

I side eyed her. "Good saying she killed him."

"Oh Father God." Sarah called out as she raised her hands. "Forgive her for she knows not what she did."

"Sarah, she gone need more than that to get out of prison."

She looked at me with widened eyes. "Prison Ky? Seriously?"

"Seriously. They upped her charges and that's why I'm out here. I'm going see her tomorrow. Well if they let me go see her."

"Call me. I wanna go. Let me pray for her."

I smiled at her. "Look at you, you're literally everything you said you wouldn't be. I'm proud of you."

She laughed. "Girl, I remember I told you guys Hell would freeze over before I ministered and now it's all I love and know. What about you?"

"Believe it or not, I'm a high school principal. Well about to be, I was at the elementary school before, but now they just promoted me to high school."

Sarah nodded with a smile. "We then both did some things we said we wouldn't do then eh? Cause you disliked kids more than I did ministry."

"Oh you know it." My phone vibrated and I looked to see a text from Langston.

Langston Come yo ass on! You know it's hot as hell out here!

Rolling my eyes, I spoke to Sarah. "I have to go girly but I'll text you tomorrow. We should leave the hotel about 9 ish."

"Okay, just text me your room number, I'll be there before you guys leave." She replied as we stood and hugged again. "I missed you sis, don't take no more leaves of absence without communicating again."

"I won't. I won't." I mumbled as we let go. As I walked away I spoke. "Thank you, for everything you did back then and everything just now."

"Oh you know I'll always make time for you. We got too much history to give up on each other. Love you! Let me know when you make it to the hotel!"

"Love you too and I will!" I called back as I walked out of the huge church and back to my car. When I got to it, I saw that Langston was in the drivers seat. Shaking my head, I got in the passengers.

Langston mugged me before putting the car in drive and taking off. "You talk too damn much."

"Boy shut up. I was talking to Sarah."

"Sarah who?" He asked for clarification.

I clarified. "Sarah Jakes."

"Nah." He shook his head. "Not Sarah Jakes because Sarah Jakes wouldn't be caught dead in a church."

"Sarah Jakes is a minister now." I replied. "Have you not been following her on Instagram?"

Langston shook his head. "Damn man. I wouldn't have ever guessed that?"

"Well, she's in there preaching away. Hey. Why are you driving?" I asked him.

"You took too long and we have to check in the hotel in a hour. Also, Janet's on her way to the hotel and I knew if yo ass was driving you'd be then took us back to Houston."

My eyes widened. "Whoa. Run that back Quavo. How in the hell and why in the hell is Janet on her way to the hotel?"

"I told her where we were going."

"When?"

"Like 4 hours ago."

I sat back in my seat and grumbled under my breath as I put my AirPods in. Listening to hip hop the whole way there, I took them out when we arrived. I texted Sarah quickly before grabbing my suitcase out the trunk, Langston let valet park the car as he grabbed his.

He tried to grab mines as well and I shook my head. "I got it."

"You really upset?"

Squinting my eyes at him, I pointed to my suitcase as we walked inside the hotel. "I literally have four wheels on my suitcase Langston, I can push it. I'm not upset about anything, I knew I would have to face my music eventually."

He nodded back as we walked up to the counter, checked in and got our keys to our rooms. Langston and I had brought suites after flipping a coin and obviously I won. He was on the floor beneath mines. We walked to the elevator and got on. I became anxious all of a sudden. Janet's coming. Shit! Janet was coming.

We got to Langston's floor and he got off after wishing me good luck. When the elevator doors shut, I was left with eerie elevator music and the sound of my heart beat.

The doors dinged as they opened and I stepped off the elevator. Walking to my door I slid the card and opened it. I came face to face with my girlfriend causing my eyes to widen as she looked at me.

Well shoot, forget Janet's coming, Janet was already here! She held her key up in her hand. Moving my suitcase by the door, I put my key on the table besides it as I spoke. "You got a key?"

"I'm Janet Jackson. Of course I got a key."

"Hm. And how many times do you plan on popping up in Texas unannounced?"

The door shut behind me as she replied. "Until you realize I'm not going anywhere." Janet moved quickly and before I knew it my body was pinned against the door. She mumbled against my ear. "So I'm going to show you that better than I can tell you."

I moved against her to try to get off the door but her grip on my arms were tight. All I could do was call her name out. "J."

"Tell me to stop and I will." She began sucking on my neck and she knew exactly where to go. Curse my damn soft spots because I moaned involuntary causing her to mumble. "Tell me to stop. Tell me you don't want this to happen."

This wouldn't help anything. Sex wouldn't help anything. Right? Shit... when has it ever hurt to get my mind off of things though?

I squeezed my eyes together tightly as I shook my head. "Stop." Janet took a deep sigh before letting me go and backing up. I opened my eyes and met hers. "I'm sorry but I can't right now. It's just—."

"We need to talk. I know. I get it." She turned around and walked further into the hotel room. I followed and saw that she had sat down on my couch. Janet motioned for me to follow. "Come on. Let's talk."