46

Janet

My girlfriend sat next to me as she pulled her knees up to her body. "I don't want to take a break anymore J... I'm just done."

"Done with what? Us?" I asked as my heart beat sped up. If Kyrin was about to break up with me this would be a wrap of happy Janet. I couldn't function without this woman on a 48 hour break let alone a full break up.

Fuck. Was Kyrin really about to break up with me? My anxiety shoot through the roof as I mentally prepared to keep my tears from falling. I got ready to glue my heart back together— I understand that I left, but breaking up with me over it seemed a bit stretched. Right?

She shook her head. "No. No. Not us." I exhaled lightly as she continued. "I'm talking about I'm done not fully communicating. I went and saw a old friend of mines today and she talked to me. She helped me figure out that you leaving just reminded me of my mom. My fear of abandonment took control of my thoughts and for a moment I rethought every word you've ever told me. For a moment I doubted your love for me, even the fact that you said you'll never leave. It all came into question because you left J. You just left."

"I know, and baby I'm sorry that I just left. It was a horrible lapse in judgement. I should have stayed with you but that doesn't reflect anything. My love for you is forever and unmatched. I haven't felt love this much in a while so I need you to trust me when I say I'm not going anywhere. As long as you want me here— well hell even when you don't want me here, I'll still be here. I'm sorry Kyrin, seriously. The last thing I meant to do was hurt you this badly baby."

Kyrin didn't reply and I continued. "What did you say to me when we went to the beach? I told you that I had to blindfold you, and you were hesitant. What did you say before you let me?"

She sighed. "I told you that I trusted you."

"And on the couch at the hotel when I was sitting on your lap, what did you say after we got off the phone with Tiffany?"

"That I loved you."

"Or how about when your father did what he did and you came to my hotel. You looked me in my face and told me what?"

"That... I chose you."

"You still feel like that?" I questioned lightly causing her to nod. "So believe me baby. If you trust me and you love me and you choose me, we will be alright. Because I trust you. I love you and I will always choose you. Nobody but you and I'm telling you that I'm sorry, that if I could go back and change it I would. I wouldn't have left you, but baby I can't go back. I can only make this better now. Let me make it better. I can make it better."

She fell silent for a few and I added on. "Let me prove it to you. Come on." I stood and held my hand out to pull her up with me. She looked at me skeptical. "Please baby?"

Her hand grabbed onto mines as she allowed me to pull her up. When she was on her feet, she mumbled. "Where we going?" I pulled her towards the door and she grabbed the hotel key before we fully made our way out. When we got on the elevator she asked again. "Janet Jackson... where are we going?"

"To dinner." I replied shortly as the elevator descended.

Kyrin looked at me skeptically. "Dinner? I don't think I wanna sit at anymore tables with our people."

"Good thing it's going to be just me and you then huh?" The elevator doors opened and I grabbed her hand as I led her out the hotel and to Joey. I opened the door for her this time and she slid in the truck as I followed.

Joey looked back at us when we got in and he smiled at Kyrin. "Hey Kyrin."

"Hi Joey." She replied lightly.

"We're ready to go Joey." I told him. He nodded as he put the truck in drive and we were off to the restaurant. Trying to avoid the silence I asked Kyrin a question. "So how has your day been thus far?"

She spoke softly. "Uh, it's been okay. I went to see an old friend and we caught up and now I'm here. You?"

"I told LA that I dated you on the radio. So my day has been a little bit better than yours."

Kyrin took a double take. "I'm sorry, you did what?"

"Joey." I called out. "Turn the radio up."

Joey turned it up and my interview filled our ears. Kyrin's face was priceless when she heard me mention her name. She looked at me. "Janet, you didn't..."

"I did." I replied as I smiled to myself.

"What about your image? You might lose fans over this and—."

"No. I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about you. Only you right now. I want you to know that I'm serious about us and that you will be wearing a ring on your finger sooner than later. I'm all in this baby, just don't let me be in this alone."

Kyrin ran her fingers through her hair. "You aren't. I'm here."

"Are you sure?"

She questioned my tone. "What did that mean?"

"You said you wanted a break... I'm just making sure because I really am sorry—."

"I'm here J. I forgive you. I just needed time, I wouldn't ever leave you. I just needed some space. That's all."

"And she's had enough space." Joey finished for her. "So now... you two! Kiss. Make up."

I looked at my girlfriend who shook her head before our lips met briefly. It was a soft and short kiss, something that didn't tell me what was what at all. She sighed against my lips slightly before pulling me back into her.

This time it was different, the kiss was more passionate than the first one and Kyrin smiled into it. Pulling away, I smiled back as I whispered. "I missed you."

She giggled as she looked at her lock screen for the date. "I've only been gone for... not even a full forty eight hours."

"Doesn't matter. I don't like not talking to you when I'm so used to talking to you everyday. It's a feeling I can't get used too."

"I'm sorry." My girlfriend mumbled as she played with her fingers slightly.

"Don't be sorry love, if you needed space... you needed space. I have to respect that."

It was late now, the stars dancing in the sky but the moon giving us light around the city. This seemed to be a perfect night and in all ideals, it was.

Kyrin nodded slightly as her phone began vibrating like it was crazy. This was part two of the extent I had went to prove to Kyrin that I was serious about us. Her face furrowed and she unlocked her phone and hit Instagram. Watching her facial expressions with amusement resting on my owns she exclaimed finally once she pulled it up. "You posted our picture on your Instagram?"

I nodded. "I did that today too."

Her phone began glitching as she closed out Instagram. "How did they find my Instagram if you didn't tag me?"

"I guess the internet works fast."

She chuckled as she locked her phone and looked at me. "You..." She took a breath before finishing. "You are something else."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Both." Kyrin mumbled as she chuckled. "I have mixed feelings about it sometimes but mostly good so it's nothing to worry about. Matter fact, you're sneaky."

"How?"

"Now I'm locked in. I can't take no damn breaks now."

I shook my head at her response as I motioned towards her phone. "Exactly. Now you can't take breaks. Now we're in this together. You're gonna have to take breaks from me and the world. And that's not fair, the world didn't do anything to you."

She shot me a look as she rolled her eyes. "Whatever Janet Jackson."

"Hey folks! We're here." Joey called out and I looked out the window to the empty field. He shot me a look and I stuck my tongue out at her in response. My phone buzzed and I answered the text quickly as my girlfriends voice pulled me out of my head.

Kyrin's face furrowed. "What happened to dinner?"

"I did say dinner didn't I?" I asked her as I opened my door and held my hand out for hers. She gave it to me and I helped her out the truck.

Walking side by side through the golf course, Kyrin noticed something. "Is that a hot air balloon?"

"It is. Ever rode on one before?"

"No and I'm scared of these things. We not doing this one." She tried to stop walking and I kept pulling her causing her to whine. "Babyyyy."

"Please? For me?" I pouted and she sighed in response. "We don't have to go far in it."

Kyrin finally gave in. "Fine woman but if I die, it's on you."

"You aren't gonna die." I replied as I pulled her the rest of the way. The man working the hot air balloon smiled at us as I spoke. "Hi."

"Hello. Welcome to Balloon City. I'm Bill, and I'll be handling y'alls ride tonight. Has anyone of you ever rode before?"

I nodded but Kyrin shook her head as she spoke. "I've never rode, kind of don't wanna ride. Don't people die on these things?"

Bill laughed. "Oh rarely ma'am. I've worked here for 15 years and never lost one person. Trust me, you'll be just fine."

He opened the side of it and motioned us on. I had to pull Kyrin on behind me as she yelled. "Sir, don't let me be your first person please!"

Bill nodded as he got on behind us. "Yes ma'am. It is guaranteed that you will be fine."

When he shut the door Kyrin grabbed my hand tightly causing me to chuckle. "Babe, you will be fine."

She nodded as she took deep breaths. "I know. I know but that still ain't helping my anxiety which has shot to my butt hole by the way."

Bill and I both laughed at her as he yelled out. "Rope up!" The other members on Bills crew unlatched the rope from their truck as he started the flame in the inside of the balloon. Kyrin was watching his every move.

The balloon slowly began lifting up from the air and my girlfriend held on to my hand and then the side of the craft. Her eyes were squeezed shut and I spoke. "You have to look at the view baby."

"No I don't." She mumbled. "I'm fine just listening to your voice and imagining I'm on the ground."

I shook my head as we lifted higher. "Well, what do you want me to talk about?"

"I don't know. Anything. Who took you on your first hot air balloon?"

"My brother." I answered. "He wanted some at Neverland but I shut that down when I realized his ass was terrified of fires to close to his face."

"Ahh. Okay. Where'd you guys fly over though?"

"LA." I replied as I peeked over the balloon and saw the sign. "Nothing compares to this view though. Oh, do you wanna know something?"

"Sure. What is it?"

Aimlessly, I began speaking. "I knew that I would fall in love with you when you sung to Eissa that night. The Butterfly song. He told me when you left that you always treated him better than the other kids and I thought 'Wow, that's someone I wouldn't mind loving forever.'"

Kyrin smiled with her eyes still closed. "Aww. For me it was the day Joey pushed me into the pool. After we talked, you sent me a look that told me we were in this for the long run. It showed me that you actually saw me for who I was and not just who people saw me as. It definitely didn't help when I thought that I loved you. I thought I was going insane trying to love someone like Janet Jackson, but I think I'm getting it done. Nothing changes the fact that I love you."

"I love you more. Hey can I ask you a question?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Open your eyes first." I stated my condition.

Kyrin slowly opened her eyes and looked around as she let my other hand go. "Geez, Dallas is breath taking at night."

I pointed. "Look down." She slowly leaned over and looked down. "Read it out loud baby."

"Will you..." She trailed as Bill handed me the box and when she turned back around her eyes watered. "Janet... stop playing with me. You play entirely too much."

I smiled as I opened the box and spoke in fake shock. "What? You saying no?"

Her hand went to her chest as she spoke in disbelief at the realization that I was serious. "Of course not."

"So, will you? Will you marry me Kyrin Paige Broussard? I mean if you do say no then I'll just be depressed and live the rest of my life alone with cats and Eissa. Eventually he'll move out and then it'll be a dark hole. Maybe Tiffany will find some time for me and—."

"Woman! Geez." She chuckled as her tears began falling. "Yes. I will marry you."

I went to put her ring on but hesitated. "Kyrin Paige, you get this ring as a token of my heart. No matter the distance, this will keep us bonded, so therefore this ring doesn't come off. No matter how bad we may fight, or how many breaks we may take. The ring doesn't come off. Okay?"

Kyrin nodded. "Okay."

"I'm serious." I cautioned as I put it on her finger.

She rolled her eyes at me but began studying her ring. "I know. I'm serious too. The ring doesn't come off."

"Hey." I called out to break her attention from the ring. Kyrin looked up at me and I held out my pinky to which she enclosed hers with. "That's our pact. Promise?"

"I promise."