Love Yourself

AN: Warning, mature content.

Taehyung's POV(5 years ago)

I hugged my legs to keep myself from shaking.

I was hiding in one of the empty classrooms. I never told Jin, but I was being sexually harassed in school by one of my senior.

I ignored it at first but it keeps getting worse.

I heard footsteps and I almost jump out of fright.

"Taehyung-ah"

My skin crawled when I heard his voice.

I don't know his name but I remembered him as one of Jin's classmates.

"Ah, there you are" he said in a calm voice.

He yanked my arm to take me out of my hiding place. I tried with all my might to get away from his grip but he punched my stomach which made me limp.

What happened next is a blur. The only thing that reminded me that I'm still alive is the pain I'm feeling right now. My body hurts all over but I'm so tired that I didn't even have the energy to cry.

"It's your fault. You're too beautiful. You seduced me with that perfect face"

He laughed manically. "But you won't be perfect for too long"

I saw him took out a blade and made two long cuts on my back. I cried out in pain and almost pass out.

"He will no longer want you pathetic bitch"

I heard him say before I lost my consciousness.

--

"Tae, don't leave me"

I tried to open my eyes and I saw Jimin's small frame beside me. This is the first time I ever saw my bestfriend cry. Jimin is crying too hard I'm worried he might hurt himself.

"J-jimin"

He held my hand tight. "Tae, hang in there please"

"D-don't cry for me Chim" I tried to reach out to wipe his tears but I didn't have the strength to lift my arms.

How can he cry like this for me and not for himself? I never saw him cry when his parents divorced. He didn't shed a single tear when he was being mocked and bullied.

I don't deserve his tears. It's my fault. If not for my face this won't happen.

"Tae, I will call Jin Hyung. He needs to know what happened to you" Jimin reached out for his phone but I stopped him.

Jin. I can only imagine how it will affect him once he knew what happened to me.

I can't take it if two of the most important people in my life will cry for me.

"Don't Chim. I don't want him to see me in this state"

"But Tae"

"Don't tell him. Promise me, Chim" I begged him desperately.

I'm dirty. I can't taint Jin. I no longer deserve my Prince.

I thought as I let nothingness swallow me.

--

Present

I waited for my nightmares to form into reality. To see Jin's eyes filled with disgust. I deserve it.

I closed my eyes to prepare myself for the worst. But instead, I felt Jin's hands gently caressing my face.

When I opened my eyes, I saw nothing but tenderness in his handsome face.

"Jin"

"Nothing can make me love you less Tae" He started to shower my whole face with gentle kisses, as if he was afraid that a little pressure might hurt me.

"Remember what you have told me before?"

"What is it?"

"You deserve all the best in this world" He gave me a quick kiss on my lips and carried me to his bed. He laid me down and look at me for a long time.

"I'm sorry" my lips quivered. I've been hating myself for too long that I can't help but feel guilty for receiving this much love. What did I do to deserve Jin?

He shook his head. "Stop saying sorry, Tae. It was never your fault" Jin let our forehead touch. "Let me give you the love you deserve, hmm?"

I nodded while my heart is pounding inside my chest.

Jin kissed my lips with so much love and gentleness I felt like I'm getting purified. All the bad memories were being erased each time his lips touch my body.

"Jin" I moaned when his lips found one of my nipple while his hands are busy exploring downward.

"You like it?"

"Yes"

I shivered with all the sensation Jin is giving me. When we made love before, I'm used to be the one giving and making him feel good. But now, I never thought I'll ever see this side of Jin. Dominating but still submitting to my every need.

Jin flipped me so that my back will face him. I felt vulnerable because of my position but I just let Jin do what he want.

His lips gently trace my scars while whispering "I love you", making me feel loved and beautiful.

He slid one finger inside me and my body stiffened. He let me adjust first before he move his finger. He added more and repeat the same process.

I moaned with too much pleasure.

When he thought I'm ready for him, he positioned himself above me.

"Tell me if it hurts"

I nodded. I gripped the sheets tight, expecting to feel the pain.

Jin intertwined our fingers and let me hold on to him before he let his cock slid inside me.

I felt a bit of pain but it's so subtle that it gets overpowered with pleasure.

I moved my hips to match his gentle thrust, getting a bit impatient to reach the pleasure building inside me.

"Faster" I moaned.

Jin complied immediately, thrusting hard and fast.

"I'm close" he whispered.

"Together" I breathe out.

Jin nodded.

When both reach our peak, our breath mingled with each other. We stayed in that position until be both recover from the high of love making.

I felt Jin move above me. My hands instictively reached our for Jin. I'm not ready to lose the contact yet.

Jin slid this fingers with mine, making it intertwined. "I'm not going anywhere, Tae" he smiled and pulled the sheets to cover ourselves.

Once we're both in a comfortable position, I snuggled closer to him.

"Why do you love me so much?" I asked Jin after a long silence.

My fingers drawing circles on his wide shoulder.

Jin's eyes sparkled and there's a hint of smile on his lips. "Because you love me when I failed to love myself"

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember when we were younger? Everyone is treating me like a dirt but you are the first person who treated me right. You loved me even though I feel like I don't deserve it"

"I just gave you the love you deserve Jin"

"I know, but this time let me do the same thing for you Tae. Let me help you Love Yourself"

I stared at Jin for a long time. My mind trying to process his words.

No one had ever told me those words. Love Yourself.

I'm used to giving. That's what is love for right? Giving everything until nothing is left of you.

And I want to give Jin everything.

I don't understand. Why won't he just take it?

Jin cupped my cheeks. "You're broken"

Broken. He's right. I'm bleeding inside. It never stopped hurting that I got used to it. I'm--.

My mind stopped in a halt when Jin's words finally sink in.

How can I give Jin everything when all I have is broken pieces? How can I love him when I, myself didn't know how it is to be loved properly?

Then I realized, the answer is within me.

For the first time in my life, I let myself cry for my own pain. For myself. For Kim Taehyung.

--A/N:

I just want to share this 🥺 I'm not a pro so this is not that good hahaha But this is for you guys 💜