CHAPTER 29: Coping Mechanisms

A/N: Hello!! Welcome back to me!!...and you all as well!!...＼(^-^)／Ok, ok, I'm really sorry for going missing for the entire January. But here I am, back with a chapter for you guys! 🥹Honestly, I don't know if you all will like this one because I'm writing one after so long, but I really do hope that it's not extremely bad. (^∧^)Anyway, enjoy~

A FEW DAYS LATER~

Promises were kept as hearts were broken, and the once pulsating garden of love that was blooming inside the two was now but a withered memory.

Since that day, a lot had changed between Sasuke and Naruto. The two were once inseparable, but now, they rarely saw each other, and when they did, they refused to acknowledge each other's presence.

Naruto avoided the raven due to the extreme sense of guilt that had begun eating away at him the moment Sasuke had departed from his home after being rejected.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was doing everything in his power to stay away from the blond. He knew that if he didn't distance himself from Naruto, then he would never be able to let go of Naruto.

However, the love that Sasuke had groomed over the days was so intense that he was failing to suppress it.

The young Uchiha's heart felt like it was being crushed under the heavy weight of love with each passing day. He neither knew how to face Naruto after what happened nor how to care for his shattered self.

Even the smallest glimpse of Naruto's blond hair would cause Sasuke to feel immense pain and despair. The mere mention of his name would make him feel suffocated.

Naruto was always like an unachievable dream... he was near, but never his. Sasuke still loved the blond, and he was unable to deal with it. He had always known the outcome of his confession, and yet here he was, crying over the man who chose his dead lover over him.

'Why would he even choose me...?'

Sasuke would occasionally think. His mind refused to give him a break from self-degrading thoughts. He had begun thinking that he was never good enough for Naruto.

'How can I even compete with Sai... it was a lost cause from the very beginning...'

Such were his 3 a.m. thoughts. He knew he was lacking in many ways, and he had decided that Naruto was never going to choose him.

'Naruto would never be mine...'

Just the thought of not being able to love the blond in the way he wanted to was breaking Sasuke every day. His heart longed for Naruto, and such desires were making him weaker and weaker.

Never in his life had the Uchiha felt so dejected and overwhelmed with negative emotions. Domestic abuse was something Sasuke was used to handling, but heartbreak? This wasn't an everyday routine for him.

Sasuke would only eat enough to keep himself alive. His appetite had taken a turn for the worse, and his meal timings were going haywire. On some days, he would have two meals, and on others, he just skipped eating entirely.

After avoiding Naruto at school all day, Sasuke would go to Naruto's apartment every afternoon and stand in front of the building, staring at the door of Naruto's room from the ground. He did this to remind himself of the intense heartbreak he had suffered when he had walked out of that very room a few days ago.

'Yes... He can never be mine...'

He would think while standing there. He would stay for a while and return home when the evening began to set in. At home, he would go directly to bed, just lying there awake for as long as he could.

Sasuke had come to hate sleeping.

Why?

Because his mind just wouldn't stop showing him dreams about Naruto, his P.E. teacher whom he had come to fall in love with. Those dreams were either like a nightmare Sasuke loved or a paradise he despised.

In simple words, Sasuke was devastated. One might think that he was overreacting by not eating and revisiting Naruto's apartment building when this wasn't the case at all.

Naruto was Sasuke's light, his only hope. Sasuke had grown so much alongside Naruto. He had learned to feel, to cry, to smile... but most importantly, the raven had learned how to love.

Sasuke was someone who always drove people away from him. His life was dark no matter what turn he took during his journey before he finally found Naruto.

Just when Sasuke learned to embrace happiness and love, his hopes were thrashed to shards by a simple truth he had never wanted to face. And to deal with all of this, he was left alone. All alone.

'Just why did I think I could be any different... *scoffs*.'

Sasuke thought bitterly as he was now lying on his bed. After another long day of avoiding the blond, Sasuke was exhausted. It really sucked the life out of him to just keep himself from thinking about the Uzumaki.

'That dobe won't even care about me... why am I acting so pathetic?'

Sasuke wondered. He didn't know that it wasn't his fault for feeling that way. All the raven knew was that he was tarnishing the Uchiha's name by crying over a man who he knew would never be his...

However, deep inside his heart, he was afraid that if he fell apart completely, there was no saving him. After all, he was but a human who had loved the right person but had met him at the wrong time.

However, no amount of effort could stop him from thinking about Naruto. The warmth and care he had received from his crush was addicting. It had intoxicated every cell of his body to such an extent that he was unable to breathe freely without it.

Naruto had become like a drug to Sasuke, the very medicine that kept him alive, the very elixir of his life that was never meant to be his.

And even now, Sasuke was missing him. All the beautiful memories he had made with Naruto were dominating his thoughts currently.

'Shit...'

A small drop of tear rolled down the side of his face and dropped on the pillow. He chuckled bitterly as he remembered the exact words Naruto had said to him.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke, but my heart already belongs to someone else."

His heart ached as he recalled that sentence, and he clenched his t-shirt over his heart. He sobbed into the night after finally holding in the tears for so many days. He did not want to break because of a mere rejection... if only the rejection was as mere as he wished for it to be.

He sobbed for hours, not caring about the time that was slipping away as the sky began acquiring the hues of dawn.

"I... I don't know what to do... help... help me..."

He finally admitted to himself. Sasuke knew that he needed help, but the Uchiha rules of being self-sufficient had been plaguing his thoughts for the past few days.

"I *sobs* I should call Itachi..."

He wondered out loud as he searched for his phone and dialed the number of his big brother.

RING RING RING RING RI-

ITACHI (I): Hello... outoto?

SASUKE (S): ...

I: What's wrong? Why did you call so early in the morning?

S: *sniffles*

I: Outoto?

S: Itachi...?

I: Are you crying? What's wrong?

S: I am not crying *sniffles*. I just wanted to ask something.

I: Hm, ok. What is it?

S: ... What would you have done if Dei had rejected you?

I: That... is a very vague question, but I will first evaluate the reason as to why he rejected me. If he rejects me because of who I am, I won't advise this to you, but I would personally change anything about me that was troubling him and try again.

S: What if he rejected you because of another person?

I: Hm... I would ask why he chose that person. Why? Does Naruto like someone else?

S: Yeah... wait. How do you know?!

I: *chuckles* Outoto, you called me at the weirdest time in the morning. The first thing you ask me about is rejection. Don't you think it's very obvious?

S: Tsk. You're annoying as usual.

I: Haha, that's no way to talk to your big brother. Now, back to the topic. So, Naruto likes someone else, huh.

S: Yeah... but it's complicated.

I: How much do you think he likes that person?

S: ... He would love him even after death.

I: Hm...

S: What is it?

I: Outoto, this might not sound very pleasant, but you don't have a chance with him. You both were never meant to happen. So, I'd suggest that you move on.

S: ... OK... Thanks. Bye.

I: Wait.

S: What now?

I: Call me anytime you feel like. I'll be here for you.

S: Hn.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Why is he so brutally honest?"

Sasuke mumbled in a cracked voice. He couldn't help the tears that were streaming down his face. He had just confirmed that Naruto was never supposed to be his from the wisest man he had known after Kakashi.

Naruto had not come into his life as a character that would stay, but a chapter that would pass.

The raven really had no choice but to move on, and he had no idea how he should be doing it.

He put on 'Dynasty' by Miia on loop and began pondering on ways that he could move on.

He could have gone to Suigetsu's and painted his emotions on a blank canvas in the studio, but he knew that doing so was only going to break him even more because he would have to remember every last bit of pain that this entire ordeal had caused him to bring out his emotions successfully. This would honestly be too much for him to handle.

'That's right! Suigetsu!'

He quickly typed a text to his only friend, explaining his current situation to him, and went back to lying down, waiting for his lazy friend to finally wake up and check his phone.

-×-×-×-

Morning set in, and Sasuke had fallen asleep while waiting when his phone dinged. His eyes shot open, and he quickly opened his messaging app to find that it was Suigetsu, indeed, who had texted him.

Sharky-pants 🦈 Yo dude I just saw your message

Sharky-pants 🦈 This is messed up... I can help ya if ya want tho

Sharky-pants 🦈D'ya wanna meet up tonight? I'll take you to that bar I told you about

Sharky-pants 🦈They've got really hot chics you might wanna check out 😜

Sasuke deadpanned at the message. His best friend literally forgot that he was gay. He quickly typed back to him.

Me Dude, did you hit your head somewhere or did you just momentarily forget I was gay?

Sharky-pants 🦈Sorry 😵

Sharky-pants 🦈But there are guys too! Dw

MeHn, I'll come

Sharky-pants 🦈Okkkk

Sharky-pants 🦈I'll pick you up at 6

MeHn

Sasuke was unsure of his rash decisions, but he needed something, anything, that would take his mind away from the blond. He had already suffered the past few days, and now, he wanted to move on.

He wanted to eradicate this miserable side of him that he was unable to accept. He had now begun the search for the remedy for this scar that he had gained.

'I was fine without him earlier, I'll be fine even now.'

The raven tried to convince himself as he curled up in his bed again and lay awake with his thoughts.

He was prepared to leave his dreams of living a normal life. He was prepared to leave Naruto behind, who was the one who had helped him dream of a better life in the first place.

However, what he didn't accept was that maybe... his heart wasn't ready to move on yet... and this was all but a coping mechanism for him.

A/N: Finally... it was a difficult one to write and I really hope I was able to explain Sasuke's condition to some extent at least. Sorry once again for going away for so long people.😫Though I wasn't confident about this chapter, I hope you all still liked it. Please do let me know. (*'∀人)Anyway, see you all in the next chapter!Author sound out ~ ✌🏻