☆Entry³

⚠warning: this chapter contains sexual assault and murder.

Entry no3: Nam Y/n 19/11/0000《★———————★》

Your head was fuzzy so fuzzy that no thoughts were clear in your head , you tried to move your head to the side as the position you were in was mildly uncomfortable but you just felt really heavy.

You realised that small grunts and other sounds were leaving your mouth and you had no idea why, you tried to open your eyes but that was a much difficult task so you just resulted just to trying  to move any other part of your body which was also unsuccessful.

After a while you managed to open your eyes and it took sometime for your eyes to adjust to the darkness in the room with only some moonlight seeping through the blinds being your only source of light.

But something felt off.

"You got me a diary?" You stared at the book with a lock and key that your mother had just gifted you.

Most of the the time you got better things, clothing. Gift cards, new accessories, the latest phone, money to spend on yourself – but a diary? What the fuck were you supposed to do with that when you a notes app on your phone.

"When I was younger, my mother got me a diary too, I know it might seem weird but it really helps a lot y/n, just write, anything , it doesn't matter, just whatever you feel" she said as she sat down next to you.

"Uh sure" you said discarding the book onto your bed causing her to sigh. "It's either that or therapy y/n"

"Are you threatening me?"

"I'm not." She looked at you taking your hands in hers "your father and I really love you, I'm not sure what's been happening at school but it's been making you less... you, you don't talk to us as much, you're detached, you snap at the smallest pushes, what's going on" she begged you to tell her but what could you say.

"Yeah you're right mom." You wanted to say "I had to sleep with a senior guy so he wouldn't tell the school about our real nationality and risk having us sent back" You wanted to say but kept quiet.

"Fine. I'll write down my feelings or whatever" you said tiredly and she smiled "thank you" She hugged you.

You hugged her back, even if you didn't really like spending time with your parents for that same reason but you still did love them as they showed that they cared for you deeply,  which is why you were doing this.Even if you had to pretend to be going through a phase around them , if it was to help keep them safe you'd do it any and every time.

"Even if they said things that hurt you at times."

Something didn't feel right— and that's when you felt it, your private felt... you weren't sure how to put it as it was feeling too many different things as you also realised that your body was moving back and forth on the mattress a lot.

Your lower region ached with a burning sensation, it Something one would describe as a pleasurable pain that was more on the painful side. You wanted to understand what the fuck was going on but froze when your eyes adjusted to the figure above you.

Someone was on your bed , manhandling you, you wanted to scream , you wanted to cry out for help but nothing except a strangled grunt came out,  the person removed one of their hands from under your thighs running it up your body to your neck "Ah, you're up" the person huffed out breathlessly and you wanted to cry badly.

"You feel so good, who would've thought" he chuckled "if I knew you'd feel so good I would've done this to you sooner, I should've done this to you before I decided to take down your family" he said proudly as he drove into you harshly making you yelp and sob silently,  you felt Disgusted,  you felt dirty, you felt dizzy.

Why was this happening to me, you asked yourself as you looked up at the person as they kept thrusting harshly into you, you looked at his neck, your blood running cold when you saw the tattoo... the same tattoo your parents murderer had.

How the fuck Did he get here? How did he get inside the place when it had so much security? How did he get into your room, how did he know your room, how did he manage to do this to you without you waking up.

Your body burnt and ached painfully as the man got off from seeing you so helpless under him, he lifted on of your legs putting it on his shoulder, the movement driving him deeper into you and not long after causing him to release inside of you

He kept going looking at you with hungry eyes, his eyes being the only part of his face you could see as the rest was covered by mask of darkness. His hand tightly gripped her neck cutting off your air supply

You tried to thrash around but you still couldn't move, the man grunted as he kept going "I told you I was going to come for you, funny how you thought you'd get away"

You felt overstimulate by everything, the need to puke, the pain, being strangled, everything was too much and the last thing you saw and felt was the man leaning down and biting you hard on your shoulder as he climaxed a second or 3rd time before you passed out.

You opened your eyes to instantly close them with a grunt as a blinding  light shone above you so you just laid there, where ever you were, defeatedly. Was this how it felt having no power, was this how it felt having a part of you stolen? Was this how helplessness felt?

How being–

Your body shot up to the side as you emptied your stomach, your throat burning as you vomited out whatever you had the night before, you were glad that there was a small bin where you spilled your guts.

Tears filled your eyes from vomiting harshly and before you knew it you broke down instantly becoming a sobbing mess, you cried your heart out as you ignored the pain you felt on your lower half as you hugged your knees to your chest.

You weren't sure how long you've been crying for, how long you laid in that position but you just really hated being alive at that moment,  hated being you, hated being female... you hated everything, why you?

Why couldn't your parents just stay where they were, why couldn't your parents hide better, why did people dislike them so much, why couldn't your uncle hide you better, why couldn't the guy just kill you too? Why couldn't you do it too.what was stopping you really?

You sat up eyeing your surroundings and realised you were in the infirmary,  you noticed a glass of water near your bed you reached for it , breaking it and grabbed a shard of glass

You sobbed as you watch your skin cut open line after line after line, all you did was cut,  you felt so numb but you started feeling something else too, maybe pain from seeing your arm bleed out? Or it was the small thrill from being able to fill any other emotion other than the numbing pain.

You wanted to feel more, no, you needed to feel more , at that moment you felt as if you'd happily give anything up if it meant you'd be able to feel anything beside the numbness and disgust.

You'd hand froze as the bloody shard dropped from your hold as a bigger hand held it in place, you looked up at the person meeting their pitiful and sad eyes looking down at you and what you've become.

"I–" you tried to speak as your eyes teared up and soon you cried again but this time the person held you against their chest not caring that your blood got on their white clothing, gently rubbing your back as you cried again for the nth time that day.

You had no one except Seungmin , Lily and Tzuyang to comfort you during your time of need and honestly with that comfort you thought you'd be able to heal but healing from assault was harder than you thought It'd be.

You couldn't look at yourself anymore, nothing felt right, you fought with yourself daily to not try and cut your arm open again no matter how tempting the need to feel was. You were slowly losing yourself and you hated that, you hated yourself for not being strong enough to not hate yourself, too.

You started eating less, you were not diagnosed with worse ptsd, anxiety, depression and insomnia ontop of that you started developing selective mutism too, you just couldn't bring yourself to speak to anyone who wasnt the 3 you now saw daily. Why? You didn't know, you really didn't know.

It's been weeks of you being in the infirmary since that night and to be honest you feared being anywhere but there, sadly it was time for you to leave, having to move from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor as you now counted as a yellow floor residence and a patient who was one of those most likely to commit suicide so you needed 2nd level care

"It's okay y/n-ah" lily hugged as she sat on your bed with you "I know it sucks to no longer have me as your wonderful and lovable roommate,  I'd lowkey be sad too" She said making you chuckle a bit, smiling at that she spoke again "I promise to visit whenever I'm allowed to okay? , you might not be able to come to the 1st floor anymore but I can venture here so don't see this as our end yeah?"

You nodded wiping your tears away,  Seungmin huffed as he stood by the doorway of the room since he didn't want to enter your room and kinda invade your space so he opted to just stand there and offer his support from the sidelines.

As you looked at him, his cold expression melted away instantly and was replaced by a soft and warm one making you softly smile at him. No matter how things were gonna be , you were gonna be just like lily and seungmin since you related to them more now and try to smile through the pain.

Lily hugged you and you hugged back grateful to finally have a supportive friend that wasn't using you for money or as just someone they kept around to use for status.

"Soon enough,with enough help you'll be better and out of here okay? And I'll be there, waiting for you on the other side" she pecked your cheek. You smiled at her

"Why are you gay?"

"No–"

"Since when were you gay?"

"Y/n–"

"How long have you been gay"

"Aish this kid" she whined "well who wouldn't be gay with you around" she jokingly winked and you made a fangirling motion before you both laughed hugging again.

Things were really gonna be okay.

Lily smiled as she looked at the door hugging you protectively as she glared at Seungmin who returned the glare.

He smirked at her and that's when she knew, she fucked up.

LilySide entry30/11/0000

《★———————★》

Play: help by Isabel laRosa

Pained grunts left her mouth as she tried to crawl away despite the fatal injuries she had, she cried as the person she was trying to crawl away from stepped on one of her already injured legs putting as much weight as they pleased until they herd a crack making the blonde cry out in pain.

"Can somebody help!" She cried weakily as she managed to drag herself onto one of the hallways, she saw stairs through her tears and noticed the number just above them

Level 4Black flag district

Fuck, she internally cussed as she felt her body numbing further, she was bleeding out fast "somebody help– please" she begged through sobs

She had woken up in a dark room on the cold floor and the next thing she knew she was being tossed around and beaten like a piñata, one of her toes was cut off, her leg was broken and losing colour, her side was stabbed and she was beaten with a baseball bat. She didn't know who was doing that to her, she didn't want to assume but she had a gut feeling.

I knew I should've made my distance when she started getting involved but I just couldn't do that, I saw myself in her,  I had to help her . Lily's body burnt painfully as she laid there in the middle of the floor , slowly bleeding out.

She was in too much pain to even try and breathe in too much air which just resulted in her taking small and shallow breaths, her eyes felt heavy and her body started feeling numb but she knew better than to let them close. She knew better than to try and follow the enticing feeling of peace and comfort , it was an illusionDeath was just calling her.

Her vision was blury as she laid her face on the cold tile huffing out with amusement when something was dropped next to her head. "A dying one huh" she scoffed in her head.

She kept her mouth covered as she slowly made her way back down to her floor, so much for a night tour

Whoever those people were, she did not want to crosspaths with them, they looked unhinged, they were weird and ontop of that they were insane like actually insane

She should've just begged fo just get occasional therapy sessions instead of coming to stayzone.

"I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you" someone from behind her, she gasped her blood running cold as she slowly turned to look at the man holding a weapon that she swore she'd feel go through her one day if she crossed him

"Y-yeah, definitely my plan" she stuttered as she walked backwards towards the stairs as the guy advanced towards her playing with the knife.

"Your name is lily right?" He asked and she nodded "Well lily, this night never happened,  you never saw whatever you saw up there, I never spoke to you and you've never met me" he instructed and she nodded so many times her neck hurt

"If a single words comes out your mouth , this little buddy of mine will be going through your back"

"Now leave, I can't promise the others will be happy knowing I let you live"

"You poor thing, you just be in so much pain" a voice she didn't recognise said "do you need help?" The man asked, lily wanted to yell out and beg but nothing but a choked whimper left her mouth.

"I'm sorry this is happening to you, but don't fret, he means no harm at all, you were just getting in his way" another person appeared sitting down next to the other , lily couldn't recognise them, she didn't know who they were, they must've been the ones she'd never met before.

"You look so pretty in red," one of them cooed their hand reaching over to touch her cheek brushing a few bloodied strands from her cheek. "It's okay, just close your eyes,it won't hurt anymore if you do, nothing bad will happen to you,picture a grass field with all differenttypes of flowers waiting for you on the other side, just close your eyes and you'll be there"

"I thought I told you to not interfere" a voice said from the end of the hallway, she knew who that one belonged to and fuck she should've seen this coming

A loud breathy gasp left her lips before her body shook badly trying to get some air in , her body burning painfully around the sharp object that was thrusted into her back, again and again.

Stab

Stab

Stab

Stab

Stab

Stab

Stab

Stab

Stab

Stab

Stab

"Damn relax man, she died from the second time you stabbed her, the rest was just unnecessary but go off I guess?" The ravenhead spoke as he eyed the one that huffed breathlessly from angrily stabbing away at the poor girl.

"And I'm the one with severe anger issues?" Scoffed the other as he kept brushing lily's cheek "she has pretty eyes"

"I swear to God if you take her eyes out for your creepy ass collection I'm putting you in the air fryer" Minho threatened the child that he sometimes thinks needs to go back to  his 4th floor room

"I'm just saying she has pretty eyes" felix shrugged as he got up "what are we Gonna do about Freddie krugers victim over here?" The dyed blonde questioned as the two eyed the situation like it was the most normal thing to ever happen.

"It would be nice if you two just shut up and clean up the blood" the other said tiredly as he ran his hand through his hair before staring at the knife he used to kill lily

He brought it to his lips licking away at the blade until it was clean.

Felix and Minho just stared at him in disgust "still think my eye collection is the weirdest habit in the group?" Whispered felix

"Nope. This one tops the charts" answered the older.

"I feel unsafe around you" felix mumbled to their weird friend "that's a shame" he shrugged before grabbing one of lily's legs dragging her lazily back to the room he let her crawl away from

"Leave it to him to give his victims a taste of freedom and take it away at the last second. Such a tease."

"... saying it like that makes it sound like you're gay for the man"

"I will personally shove my fist down your throat"

"I'm into that"

"... and you say I'm gay, I haven't airfried you enough Lee felix"

"Better get to it then Lee Minho"

"Minho, this is your new brother felix , treat him well yeah?" Mrs Lee said gently as 7 year old Minho stood infront of his parents staring at them blankly as a small boy with freckles hid partially behind his father's legs

"I said I wanted a cat" replied the other in a monotone voice,  seeming rather not too bothered than disappointed, nonchalant is what they called people like him or so Felix perceived.

To say Minho wasn't 'too bothered' was an overstatement because he was, he actually wanted a little furry buddy to keep him Company in the tall walls of his home not an additional family member that would cause a division in his daily dose of full parental attention.

Letting out a sigh Minho turned on his heel and left the room without another word "does Hyung dislike me?" Felix questioned his adoptive parents who gently assured him that Minho needed to take some liking to him.

As they grew older, Minho did not infact like him at all, whenever they had home school work to do, the other would make sure Felix never submitted any of them causing him to fall back and have a lot of workload. Any plushies and teddies he got, Minho would damage , burn or cut.

Felix didn't mind , well– he pretended he didn't, sure he didn't like being showered in expensive shit and stuff like that he still considered them his own and having them damaged was not something he was gonna let slide.

Which was why he had planned to murder his adoptive brother and take his place in the family, the house could  use a son that didn't act as if Bella Swan in new moon, like bro smiling at the great things he had would not hurt a fucking soul.

As they say, great minds think alike, the older also planned to murder his adoptive brother, he didn't like the extra number, he was 1 and liked it that way, his life was dull and he was content with that and no fucking pinkypie looking sunshine character was gonna come into his life and disrupt his fucking peace.

2 days later both brothers would be detained for attempted and 2nd degree murder of their neighbours kid , felix had failed to Stab Minho to death as he had only fractured a kidney that was luckily salvaged, Minho failed to run Felix over with his family's car as felix pushed the neighbours kid in the way instead... which lead to the brothers cooperating to dismember the body and grind up the organs to put into the food waste disposal, some parts of skin to be disposed randomly in the random parts of town, the head to be dumped in a tightly wrapped bag and has still not been found and the rest of the body cut up and buried in their mother's garden.

Both boys were not arrested due to south koreas child crime laws and were let out on probation which had most angered and demanding justice for the murdered life, scared for their children's life and questionable mental states they were sent to their close friends new institution called stayzone .

Minho being the first to get sent at the age of 8 and felix following soon after at the age of 7 after his adoptive parents finalised some papers for the court to not try and take felix away from them as they believed their boys were just troubled souls who regretted their decisions... they did not.

They're thirst for blood started with wanted to kill each other and killing to show off to one another, Minho planted soley white roses as they were a symbol of death,loss and mourning in Asian culture to show that he regretted killing the kid but to be honest he grew them to mark his prey. Whoever he liked well enough received a white rose, the roses differed in various ways.

Some would have some dirt on them, those who got that were those he deemed unworthy of living and needed to be killed instantly.

Those who got them with thorns and a few missing petals would get dismembered and bits of them would be used as compost for his lovely garden [yeah... the dirty soil is not just dirty soil]

Those who got dying roses were dying either because of his own doing, his brothers or his friends and he wanted them to atleast see what the end looked like before they met it

And those that got a perfect rose, one with no thorns,[zade meadows style ] clean petals, trimmed to perfection were his muse, he had never given one of those out, that person wad perfect to them in every single way. He would worship them even if they despised him, he would love them even if his definition of love was entirely different not to mention messed up.

He was going to kill that perfect person but it wasn't going to be as brutal as the others,  he was going to do it so slowly and so tenderly as if he was waiting for the perfect rose to grow from a dying thorn bush.  He was going to make them part of his garden as they would make it bloom with life. He was going to make their death so painfully slow that they have all the time in the world to look at him before they passed. And when that new perfect rose grew– he'd perserve it for the rest of his life by his side, frozen in time.

Which is why he gave not one but two of those flowers out to the same person  11 years later.

And felix? Well... he went for a much more less romantic way of preserving his 'lovers', he'd fall for ones eye. Not because the colour was pretty But because he looked prettier in their eyes. So in jars below stayzone he kept. Walls and walls of unblinking eyes slept.

Only for him to add his interests best friends eyes in that que 11 years later.

Minho and felix grew to not truly dislike each other even if they joked about unaliving the other, they had a love hate relationship,  "it's a love-hate relationship,  where I'm hated and I don't love it" felix once said , they had grown fond of the other and would honestly do anything to keep the other alive.

They were the Lee brothers. A weird pair.

A truly. Truly weird pair.