36

happy new years eve batchers! i'm so excited to ring in 2026 with you guys! there's still lots more to come!

enjoy the post for the holiday! 🎆 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AZI bustled around her, tutting and beeping. Muttering to himself as he recorded her heartrate and weight.

The small room was the same she'd woken in over two years ago, after she'd lost her arm. It had been converted into a private medbay, with a whole wall of bandages, syringes, and needles, as well as a locked cabinet of different types of medications. Several machines had been installed in the wall behind her, which he had used to take her blood pressure and some internal scans. She sat on the edge of a soft bed with starched sheets.

Hunter and Echo were waiting outside.

While she was sick at the idea of being separated from them, even by just a door, she hadn't wanted them inside for this. AZI had wanted to do a thorough examination of the damage she'd gone through in the past year.

"I see multiple remodels along your ulna and radius, as well as evidence of prior dislocations in the shoulder joint," AZI observed as he held out her arm.

"It was broken a few times. Dislocated, too."

"Were the wounds permitted proper time to heal?"

"No."

If the droid could have made a face, he would have. "Irresponsible. Any medical droid worth his programming should have allowed you ample time to rest after a break."

Saedii snuck a glance towards the door. She hoped that, with all the beeping equipment, it would be too loud for Hunter to hear.

It was still weird for her knowing that he was out there – that they all were. Waiting for her. It made her feel better knowing they were there.

AZI shone a light into her eyes. "Your heart rate is still low. How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Better than fine. She was free. Finally free.

"You are not dizzy or nauseous?"

She made a face. Now that he mentioned it, she did feel a bit lightheaded. It had only been an hour since she'd realized everything around her was real. That she was safe. That knowledge was enough to make anyone dizzy.

Echo had been the one to insist on a visit with AZI, but Hunter had backed him. Even though Saedii had wanted only to get out of that cell.

"When was the last time you ate? Or slept?" AZI asked her.

"I don't know," she admitted.

He tutted. "I will administer a mild sedative. It will ensure you get at least eight hours of sleep –"

"No," she said at once.

AZI's head tilted. "You don't want to sleep?"

Sleep had actually never sounded better. Her whole body felt like it had been run over by the Imperial fleet. But that wasn't what scared her.

"No drugs."

Her prosthetic went to her neck, where tiny pinpricks of scabs dotted the skin there, each from an injection. Her other hand tightened around the rock in her fist.

"The sedative will help –"

"No drugs."

The droid sighed. "If that is what you wish."

Gently, he removed the blood pressure band from her arm and clipped it back onto the wall. Saedii watched him, tensing as he drifted closer to the medicine cabinet.

But AZI merely grabbed a small stack of clothes that waited on the chair there. It took a moment before she realized they were her clothes. Her old clothes from before she'd been taken.

"When you are stronger, I would like to conduct a full psychological evaluation," AZI explained as he handed her the clothes. "In order to best prepare a psychiatric treatment plan for you."

She flinched at that. She didn't want to relive the past year. Not with anyone. "I don't want a psyche eval," she said.

His bright yellow eyes appeared perplexed. "It is a necessary part of your treatment. You have suffered a traumatic experience. It is in my programming that I must understand the scope of your trauma –"

"I don't want to," she said more firmly. Her jaw clenched as she suppressed a shudder. "It's over. Being free is all the treatment I need."

The look that passed AZI's face told her that he disagreed, but he didn't push it. Merely let out a very exasperated but resigned sound and said, "If that is your wish. You may dress now and leave."

Saedii waited until the droid left the room before looking over the clothes. They were her favorite loose robes that she'd liked to wear around the cruiser or the Marauder. Made for comfort.

For some reason, the thought of wearing them didn't seem right. She set them aside, content to wear the white shirt and pants she had on. At least they were long enough to cover all of her new scars.

Low voices sounded just outside of the door. She was sure that they were talking about her – AZI and Hunter and Echo. Her fingers paused as she slipped on the pair of white slippers that AZI had found in a cabinet.

"...is suffering from a severe form of post-traumatic stress disorder," AZI was saying, voice only just loud enough for her to hear.

Someone else responded, but it was too soft. She leaned a little closer.

"She is currently refusing a psychiatric evaluation, so I am unsure the depth of her trauma."

"Refusing?" Echo demanded. "Why would she refuse?"

"Sometimes, after prolonged traumatic episodes, patients find it hard to relive the experience. I believe that General Synn is trying her best to repress these memories."

Saedii chewed on her lip. The droid was smarter than she'd given him credit for.

"What does that mean for her?" Hunter asked.

"It means that she will need to be monitored," AZI reported. "This type of trauma can have many serious side effects on her physical health. You would do well to ensure she is not alone and has a safe and welcoming environment in which to rest. Adequate sleep, food and water, and no active duties would also be beneficial."

"We can do that," Echo agreed.

There was a beat of silence. Then, "Recovery may take a while. You will need to be patient with her and understand that her trauma may present in unpleasant forms."

"We don't care about that," Hunter said at once. "She can take as long as she needs. We just want her to get better."

Her throat felt tight as she stood. She didn't want to hear anymore.

When the door opened, Hunter and Echo both turned to her.

"You hungry?" Echo asked, trying hard to act casual. "You haven't eaten much since you got here."

"No." She was, but Saedii just wanted to go somewhere quiet for a bit. The thought of having to sit in the cafeteria, with all the Clones and their overlapping voices and the scraping of chairs, sounded unappealing.

Echo made a face at that, but Hunter nodded. "Alright. How about we head down to the room and you can rest?"

Rest sounded nice. She nodded.

Hunter's hand was warm between her shoulder blades as he guided her down the corridor. The private medbay was towards the top of the mountain while the barracks were at the bottom. The halls sloped down.

A door at the far end of the hall opened, allowing in a breeze and a rush of late-afternoon sunlight. It was warmer than she remembered. The faint scent of grass and vegetation gave her the impression that it was mid-summer. She imagined the forests surrounding the monastery would be vibrant and in full-bloom. Full of flowers and wildlife.

As they came to a fork in the hallway, a group of three Clone troopers walked from the other direction. All of them stopped dead when they spotted Saedii. The Force grew rife with fear.

"General," one of them said stiffly. The other two flashed a quick salute.

They were afraid of her, Saedii realized. And for good reason. Only an hour ago, she'd been threatening to butcher the entire base.

She nodded in acknowledgement but said nothing. She couldn't meet their eyes as they hurried past.

Above her, she felt the heated look that Echo turned in their wake.

There was another reason they hated her – a reason she'd forgotten until now when she'd seen their suspicious faces. When she'd tasted their fears.

"What were their names?" she asked suddenly.

Echo was frowning after them. "That's Trek, Viz, and Spade. Don't you worry about them. I'll make sure they –"

"Not their names." Saedii swallowed. Bile burned at the back of her throat as she whispered, "The ones that I killed. On the ship."

Hunter and Echo turned a long look to one another. Cautiously, Echo said, "You don't need to think about that right now. Once you've rested, we'll –"

"Who."

It wasn't a question anymore. She had to know.

There was another moment of lingering silence before Hunter said tightly, "Hue and Razz."

Familiar names. It took her a moment before she remembered how she knew them. Hue and Razz had been two of the Clones freed from Hareth. Ones that she'd helped nurse back to health.

The flare of guilt that flashed through her was like a supernova. She'd saved them only to kill them off a year later. No wonder the Clones were afraid of her. They were probably wondering who was next.

"No one blames you," Hunter started, but Saedii just gave a little shake of her head and continued down the hall.

Her mind felt like it was full of angry bees as they descended down a set of stairs. When her hand reached up to grab the rail built into the wall, it looked like it was dripping red blood onto the floor. Clone blood. The thought made her want to throw up and effectively killed any appetite she'd had.

At the bottom of the stairs, the air grew more chilled. At the feel of it, Saedii shivered before she could help herself. It reminded her too much of the tombs in the Fortress.

All that blood. All those bodies. All that death.

"You cold?"

Saedii looked up. They'd stopped at the bottom of the stairs, Hunter and Echo right behind her. She hadn't even realized.

"No," she croaked.

"You're shivering," Hunter pointed out.

She didn't want to admit that it wasn't from cold.

His expression tightened. Maybe he'd guessed. "We're almost to the barrack. Wrecker has a bed waiting for you."

Saedii wouldn't have cared if she had to sleep on the floor. She just wanted to lay down.

Their footsteps echoed in the cavernous halls. From behind a few of the closed doors, the deep carrying laughs of Clone troopers trickled out. Far more than there had been before she'd been taken.

"How long was I down there? In the cell?" Saedii asked. Trying to remember if she'd heard this many Clone voices before. A nagging voice told her there were more than ten thousand, but that couldn't be right.

"It wasn't a cell," Hunter said quickly. "You weren't being locked up. Just kept safe."

Saedii didn't really care. It had been the right call to lock her in there.

"Just a few days. Do you remember?"

"Yes, but my memory isn't always reliable."

Again, she sensed as Echo and Hunter exchanged a look.

"How long was I..." She trailed off. She wasn't sure how she could finish that question.

Hunter seemed reluctant to answer as he said, "Thirteen months. Wayland was just over two weeks ago."

Two weeks? She'd only been held in Krell's dungeons for two weeks?

Saedii stopped walking, trying to shuffle through the dark tangle of memory from the tombs. But it was hard – her mind shied away from the reminder, making it difficult to decipher through the snarl of visions.

It had felt longer. Years, even. She was sure that Krell had held her in nightmares that had lasted months. How was it possible that only fourteen days had passed during that time?

Hunter and Echo hesitated behind her. Gauging her reaction.

Steeling her expression, she continued walking. As gut-wrenching as that news was, Saedii didn't want the boys to know how much it scared her. She'd worry about it later, when she was alone.

One of the doors up ahead was ajar. From inside, Wrecker's booming voice called, "Great job, kid! You showed him!"

Inside the barrack, seven bunks lined the walls – five of which were in various states of disarray. A massive crate in the back was overflowing with what appeared to be spare computer parts and explosive devices. Three large computer screens had been set up in one of the corners, spliced together to create a massive super computer, while in the other, a small arsenal of weapons hung along the wall.

In the center of the room, Omega and Crosshair were bent over a card game. By the little smug expression on Omega's face, she was winning.

Omega was more relaxed now. The woven vest and black pants looked like Pabu clothes and only just seemed to fit. Her hair, so long now that Saedii was really looking at it, was in a low ponytail at the back of her neck, with a few pieces left to frame her face. Around her neck, in place of the torrinite necklace, she had on a small circlet of shells.

The others looked different, too. Tech's hair was longer, nearly falling into his eyes as he watched the card game take place, and with a slight curl to it. Crosshair had grown his hair out, too, though not quite as long. Just enough that the top of his head looked like a white helmet. Wrecker, thank goodness, looked the same.

"Saedii!" He was the first to spot her, a massive grin stretching across his face. He jumped to his feet, but stilled as Crosshair held out a hand.

A matching smile lit Omega's face, though it was subdued. She met Saedii's eye almost shyly and said, "We've been waiting for you."

Saedii quickly looked away.

"I am glad you are feeling better." Tech was at Saedii's side in an instant, reaching for her prosthetic. One of his arms was in a sling and waved feebly at his chest. "I was unable to provide the necessary repairs yesterday –"

She flinched away from him before he could help it.

Tech's hand hovered in the air for a moment before he dropped it. "Perhaps the repairs can wait a bit longer."

"Good idea," Hunter said pointedly.

For some reason, Saedii felt awkward as she looked around at her family. At the people that she'd missed more than anyone else while locked away. Instead of the hugs and tears she'd imagined for their reunion, there was only uneasy silence.

They were all watching her. Their eyes felt like brands along her skin and she found herself unable to hold any gaze for long. Her arms trembled as she wrapped them tighter around her.

"Here." Hunter handed her a threadbare pullover with his Clone number on the front. It would be too big for her, but the feel of the soft fabric against her calloused hands felt lovely.

While she slipped it on, Omega pointed out, "Wrecker made your bed for you. He even brought your blanket from the ship."

Saedii's eyes sought it out at once. The sight of the small, knitted purple fabric sent a wave of relief through her. Of comfort.

Slowly, she drifted over. Soft wool met her fingers as she ran her hand over the blanket. Velvety soft, it was like heaven against her skin. Her eyes closed for a moment as she let her body relax against the feel of something familiar.

When they opened again, the Batch were watching her. She withdrew her hand.

"All your stuff is there," Hunter said gruffly. He nodded at the trunk at the foot of her bunk.

She nodded at that but made no move to look for herself. There wasn't a single thing in the trunk she wanted to see. All that mattered to her now was the necklace around her throat. The key to her salvation.

Very slowly, Saedii sat on the edge of the mattress. The feeling sent a flutter in her stomach – the same she got when she dropped out of an airship. Like she was falling. She jerked up.

"What's wrong?" Echo asked at once.

Saedii frowned. "It's...too soft."

After a year of cold stone, the mattress made her afraid that she would drop straight through. That she would fall and fall and never stop. Unyielding stone, for all its discomfort, would not let her disappear.

Some emotion flashed over Crosshair's face. His jaw went rigid and he turned sharply towards the door.

"Research shows that is to be expected," Tech was quick to explain. "Patients with PTSD often have a hard time adjusting after –"

"Tech," Hunter warned.

There was a moment of heavy silence where Saedii felt every pair of eyes on her, waiting for what she'd do next. The air felt so heavy with grief and sadness and pity that it pressed against her throat. Very purposefully, Saedii lowered herself to the floor in front of her bed and sat.

Hunter's brows puckered. "You sure that's comfortable?"

Saedii nodded.

"Alright." It seemed like there was more he wanted to say, but for now, he just rubbed at the back of his neck.

Omega held up the deck of cards in her hands. "We were playing torek. Do you want to play?"

Wrecker nodded enthusiastically. "Omega was kicking our asses! Why don't you show her how it's done!"

"No, thanks," Saedii said in a small voice. She just didn't have the energy for a card game right now.

Wrecker's smile fell. So did Omega's.

"Why don't you guys play a few rounds while Echo and I go grab some trays? We'll bring it back here and eat as a squad," Hunter suggested.

"A family," Omega correctly firmly.

The corner of Hunter's lips turned up. "Right. A family."

Saedii watched them go with impassive eyes. Spread on the floor at the center of the room, Omega, Tech and Wrecker began to lay out cards.

Crosshair didn't join them. Indecision stained into the Force like ink as he looked between Saedii and the door, eyes hard and sad at the same time.

Then, abruptly, he turned on his heel and followed Hunter into the hall.