Fear

~Momo~

He rejected me.

Above all, this fact haunts my mind the most. I ignore the several (hundred) texts from my girlfriends who want to know how it went.

We had a good time, I tried to kiss him and he ran away from me, I think.

And everything was perfect. Just when I start to think I understand Shoto, he does something like this.

Well, I never asked... maybe he thought we weren't there yet.

Agh, he's so dense he probably doesn't know what he thought! 

I pick my pillow up, slam my face into it and scream into the fabric and cotton. I don't cry, but I do feel like crying.

It would've been so wonderful if he let me...

Then I drift off into a fantasy.

~Shoto~

What the hell is wrong with me?!!

Why did I run away from Yaoyorozu?

Why am I so afraid of kissing Yaoyorozu?

So many questions, so few answers.

"WHERE WERE YOU?!"

Hello, Father.

"Where were you yesterday?!! If it's that Yaoyorozu again, I will--"

"What? What are you going to do? Hurt me? Hurt her? Yes, I was with Yaoyorozu! She's my friend and I enjoy her company!"

He lifts his hand and backhands me across the face. I cringe at the pain, but I'm slowly adjusting to it. I topple over and grip the bedframe to keep from falling over.

This bastard...

"Don't ever talk back to me again, Shoto." That's all he says before leaving.

I hate him.

A few moments after Father's gone, Fuyumi rushes in and drops to her knees, hugging me to her chest and crying. Fuyumi cries so easily, I never cry.

Nothing Father does is shocking enough to make me cry.

~Momo~

I walk to school angry. I ate breakfast angry, brushed my teeth angry, put my shoes on angry. I've been angry all day.

Angry at Todoroki.

I'm so mad that I sit next to him now.

"Hey, Yaoyorozu!" 

I ignore Jiro.

"Whassup, Yaoyorozu?"

I ignore Kirishima.

"What the hell is wrong with you today, Ponytail?"

I do something that I do everyday.

--

"What's going on, Yao-Momo?" Uraraka sits beside me during lunch.

"Nothing," I answer.

"That's not true. You've been scowling at everyone today and ignoring people! That's not normal behavior for anyone besides Bakugo!" Jiro exclaims.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Please, Yaoyorozu-chan, this is us we're talking about! Your girls! We won't tell anyone, will we ladies?" Ashido says.

Everyone shakes their heads eagerly.

"I was on a date with Todoroki, right?"

"Oh my god!" (Uraraka)

"Finally!" (Jiro)

"OHMYGODYOUFINALLYTOOKMYUNSPOKENANDSOMETIMESSPOKENADVICEGORLLL" (Guess)

"We went to the arcade and Todoroki's a real good gamer! He bought me something but hasn't given it to me yet. Anyway, we walked home and I was about to kiss him and he walked away. He frickin WALKED. AWAY." My talking is fast and it's after I finish talking that I notice I have to catch my breath.

"What the hell is wrong with him?!?!" (Ashido)

"I have so many questions." (Hagakure)

"Well, that sucks." (Tsu)

"Gosh, Yaoyorozu." (Uraraka)

"Need me to kill him?" (Jiro)

"And I'm just so mad because it could've been fricking great!"

Silence surrounds me. None of the girls talk, they just stare at me with bewildered and terrified faces (except for Ashido, who's smiling like someone winning the lottery.)

"You really are into him, aren't you?" Uraraka asks me gently.

"Yeah," I reply, looking away with the threat of tears.

"You should go to him," Uraraka says. She looks as if there's something behind what she's saying, but she won't say it to me.

I walk to Todoroki's locker after lunch.

"Todoroki-kun... Um, Hi." 

Todoroki looks at me and a terrified look flashes across his face. Am I ugly today or something? I

"Can we talk later?"

"Uh... I'd rather not."

I notice a red mark on his face. It's blurry, but if you look long enough, it kind of looks like a hand. 

"Todoroki, did you get slapped?!"

"I don't want to talk about it," Todoroki closes his locker and walks away.

~Shoto~

I don't want to tell her.

I know Yaoyorozu. She's a sensitive soul. If she found out about my father's abuse, she'd worry herself over it. She'd try to do the impossible to help me.

I don't want her to worry about me. She's got enough on her plate as it is.

But I hate not telling her because every time I see her the truth threatens to escape from my mouth. I see her and I just want to tell her everything wrong with me.

But I don't want to burden her.

--

Midoriya confronts me after school. "I haven't seen you with Yaoyorozu-chan much anymore."

"Yeah."

"How come?"

"Something bad happened to me... and I want to tell her, but I don't want to overwhelm her with that."

"Ah." Midoriya scratches the back of his neck. "You should tell her, Todoroki. I don't think she' d want you to continue to hide from her." Then he walks ahead of me.

I know he's right...

But that's not the only thing I'm scared of when seeing her.

~Momo~

I've cried far too much this week. Right now I'm curled up in a blanket with popcorn and soda, watching a movie.

Mom's seen me moping around and I can tell she doesn't approve but she hasn't bothered me. I think she feels bad.

But finally, she speaks. 

"Momo," she cautiously warns me, "this isn't healthy behavior, my flower. You should go outside or something."

"Sorry, Mom, but... I don't feel great."

She sighs, but says, "Okay, Momo." And she walks away, to her bedroom probably.

--

The doorbell rings.

"I'll get it," I yell to Mom.

I open the door to see the person I've wanted to see for the whole week and now don't want to see at all. 

Todoroki Shoto.

He stands at the door with a bouquet of roses and a guilty look on his face. I smile at the sight of him, but then think of how I look right now in a t-shirt and sweats. Damnit!

Instinct takes control and I slam the door in his face.

"What am I doing?!!"

I open the door back up with a terrified look on my face.

"Yaoyorozu-chan, you look fine. You're beautiful," Todoroki smiles and blushes.

I blush as well, but let him in.

"I came to say... I came to say sorry," Todoroki says, while taking his hand in and out of his pocket and looking around.

"So straightforward."

"I've... I've been told," he grins.

He sits on the couch, beside me.

"This mark on my face, it came from my father. He slapped me a couple of weeks and... it was about you." 

"What... what do you mean?" Why... am I the reason? It would explain why he's been avoiding me...

"I was angry at him because he does not approve of you very much. He believes I spend too much time with you... he thinks you're weak and doesn't believe that you would make a good hero, contrary to fact. He thinks that the only reason for me to associate with women is to marry them and have powerful children who'd make good heroes. And he doesn't like that when I spend time with you, I often end up late to training sessions. He absolutely hates when I am late to training sessions, though I myself don't care much for them. When he slapped me a couple of weeks ago, it was because I spoke against him in defense...of you."

After taking all of that in, I feel guilt instantly. 

It's my fault that Todoroki's being abused.

"Don't take it personally, Yaoyorozu-chan, he has been doing this since... since..."

He begins to cross his arms and look away from me. He shivers.

"T-Todoroki-kun..."

I look back into his eyes; they glisten and his eyelashes are wet.

Todoroki is crying.

I place my hand on his shoulder. "Tell me, Shoto. Tell me what happened."

I just used his first name, but he doesn't react because... duh.

"He abused my mother to the point where she was not mentally well. It was then that she took a tea kettle of boiling water and..."

I gasp softly. I always assumed Todoroki's burn was just some accident when he was a kid or maybe he was born with it... but I never would have expected this.

"I am saying all this to say... my father's abuse has nothing to do with you. He would respond this way were you any other girl. I was afraid of telling you this because I knew you would take it as your fault and you would take pity on me... I don't want to burden you with my problems."

"Todoroki... do you really think that you're the only one in this world with problems?"

"No, I..."

"My father leaves this house and does not return for days, weeks, months. Right now is the longest he has been away. I wonder every night if he will return, but I am not so sure anymore. You need to tell people things, Shoto. It's much better than keeping it inside of you."

"I've also been afraid of something else."

"What is that?" I ask him.

"I am afraid of kissing you."

I laugh out loud at this; I've never heard such a thing. I clutch my sides and clap my hand over my mouth. I laugh until I'm crying with laughter.

"Why? You shouldn't be."

"Because I might do something bad."

"You silly, silly goose," I say, practically quoting my mother.

I grab his head and do the thing I've wanted to do since the day I brought him that soba, though I didn't always know.

When my lips separate from Todoroki's, we're both smiling.

"That's... that's different."

"Was that your first kiss, Todoroki-kun?"

"Yes, I have to say it was."

"Ready for your second?" My grin turns mischevious.

"Of course."

This time, I kiss his lips and then the side of his chin. I find my way back to his lips and run my fingers through his hair. 

He twirls a strand of my hair around his finger and kisses me again.

I never want to stop kissing him.