Part 71 (part2)

Jungkook's POV

"Is this what you really want?" I asked her, my heart pleading for her to say NO.

Please Christine... Don't do this to me...

Her silence was heart breaking.

It's over.

I slowly let go of her hand, unwillingly and with a heavy heart. I'll miss those little hands, her slim fingers intertwined with mine... The spaces between my fingers were right where hers fit perfectly... Will I ever hold her hand again?

Walking out of the room, I feel so empty. It's as if my soul left my body. I hear a voice talking to me, but I walked straight ahead, I didn't know where, but I just did.

Jungkook!

Jagiya~

Saranghae...

Her voiceechoed in my head, breaking my heart as it sunk down in me...

I won't hear her voice calling me Jagiya again...

I ended up in the dorm, I don't know why, but I got here, unlocked the door and went to my room. The first thing that greeted me was my bed made and my shirt folded that was lying on the foot of my bed... The shirt she used when she visited the dorm. The night after I've confessed to her, the night she couldn't sleep in the guest room so I sang her to sleep...

I sat on my bed, a picture frame where our picture stood from the ball, just beside the picture I printed that was taken from our week-long camp on our last day. She was hugging me, with smiles both plastered to our faces... We were so happy... What happened so suddenly?

"Christine..." I said, taking in the picture and hugging it tight. "Why..." I muttered.

"AAHHHH!!!!" I shouted, throwing everything everywhere, besides our pictures together. I stood up and punched the wall, kicking it with tears streaming down my face. I screamed, punching the wall again. My knuckles are bleeding, but it's not enough to match the pain I'm drowning in right now.

"WAAEEE!" I shouted, punching one more time but before I could hit it, Taehyung stopped me and turned me around, locking my arms down.

"Jungkookie... Stop it..."

"Hyung... it hurts... it hurts..." I said with my knees giving out as my back leans on the wall behind me. I slid down until I was sitting down, leaning my head backwards as I shout in pain and frustration. "She broke up with me... She left me..."s

"It'll be okay..." he said, releasing my arms as he held my shoulder.

"Why did she have to do this hyung?" I asked shakily, burying my face in my hands.

"She just loves you that much, I guess?" Taehyung said. "Atleast she broke up with you because she loves you."

"What are you saying hyung?" I asked, looking at him with red eyes and clogged nose, wiping the tears at the back of my palms.

"Do you know why Hannah broke up with me?" he asked with a slight smile.

"She broke up with you?"

"Yeah... She did... Because it was Jimin all along." He looked down on his hands. He played with his hands as he chuckled lightly, scratching his head. "I know I sound pathetic. But yeah, it's true. I've come to accept it anyway."

"How..." I asked dumbfounded as I still hear Christine's voice in my head.

"Stay strong. You're not alone." I then smiled at her and hugged her once more.

This was the time she finally told me she had cancer. That time she was so scared to tell me, scared that she might lose me for it...

"Mm. We'll stay strong, right?" She asked with a soft voice.

"Yes, Jagiya. We will." I assured her.

What happened now? How did things end up like this?

"Hyung... Can I be alone for awhile...?" I asked as we stared into space, into the mess I've made... Broken lamp shade, thrown pillows and shirts and blankets, knocked over drawer and such.

"Only if you promise not to hurt yourself anymore." He said, looking to me. I nodded soullessly.

He stood up and left the room. As the silence engulfed me, the pain of being alone started to fill me in once again. Her pictures, the times we spent, the memories we shared... Everything's coming back to me... slowly drowning me.

"Omo. You work here?" I asked, acting surprised.

It was a secret, but even before we met in the rooftop when I found her crying, my eyes have always followed her everywhere she goes. She was someone special, no doubt. I just didn't know how to fit in the pieces that time... but when I got to know her, I finally knew how to fit everything. She was the one I would love... for the rest of my life.

"Yeah, I do..." She smiled shyly. "What will I get you, Jungkook ssi?" she asked.

"Jungkook ah." I corrected, feeling giddy inside, but I had to keep it cool. I can't lose it infront of her. It was too embarrassing. "I'd have Iced Americano." I smiled. After taking my order, I went to one side and opened my laptop. I tried to start my report, but I couldn't stop smiling at my screen. I must have looked like an idiot, but I was too happy. I'd stay here until she gets off of work.

It was also the first time I walked her home. I even helped her clean the café... It wasn't what I usually do, but ever since I met her, she made me do things I don't usually do. First and for most is I don't talk with girls besides the friends I had before the incidents and fanmeets. How did she managed to do that? From there I knew she was no ordinary girl for me.

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"You look really pretty with your blank stares..." I hanged up as soon as I realized what I just said. Why would you do that Jeon Jeongguk? Are you out of your mind?!

But she was... Even with her plain raglan with 86 Los Angeles in the center, dark skinny jeans and her favourite denim chucks, she looked enchanting.

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After getting off the log ride, all soaked from our fall, I noticed Christine's shirt sticking to her body, showing off her curves. My pulse rate increased as I felt my cheeks grow hot, but it soon disappeared when I saw guys checking her out with hateful smirks on their faces that I'd wanted to punch it off of them. I scoffed, rolled my eyes as I remove my sweater and covered her with it.

"Cover yourself up. Your clothes are sticking to your body too tightly and we're in public." I said, placing my hands in my pockets as I sent a glare to the direction of the guys looking who backed off in an instant.

.

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"Hey.." I said in a low voice with a small smile. It wasn't even a day that we became a couple and yet I had to leave her for 2 and a half days for a tour and promotion.

"Hey..." she answered softly with the same shy smile. It didn't take another second as she ran to me and I opened my arms to catch her. I nestled my head on the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent I missed the most.

"I missed you Jagi." I whispered with my eyes closed as I enjoy the feeling of her body fitting perfectly into my arms.

"I missed you too my pabo." She replied and I let out a low chuckle. We had an argument before this and I swore to making it up to her, resulting to the playground she once told me that has a lot of memories into something I saw in one of Taehyung's manga he was reading. I filled it with Christmas lights, trying to make it into somewhat movie-like although I've broke some and the others got too tangled up to be used... but I tried. Another thing I don't usually do, but because of her... I actually did.

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"Jagi... No matter what happens... I'll always have you right?" she whispered with our foreheads together after our long, breath taking kiss.

"Baby, You have me. You've always had, and you always will." I said reassuringly as I tighten my hug around her waist.

"Always?" she asked.

I smiled.

"And forever."

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"Jeongguk, you can't date her... I'm sorry." My mom said, making me drop my smile in an instant. "You're marrying Yuri."

"BWOH?!" I shouted. I couldn't accept this. Whatever her explanation was, I won't marry Yuri. Why can't she understand that it's Christine that I love? How can you force your child to marry someone whom he won't be happy with?

"Cancel it eomma. I'm not doing it. Yuri's part of the past. There's nothing you can do to make me agree to that. I'm not doing that damn marriage to someone who I don't love! I'm not marrying anyone besides Christine."

"Jeongguk, let's talk this out-"

"There's nothing to talk about eomma. I'm leaving" I said, walking away as I left her calling out for me.

I saw Christine looking up the skies with Yoongi hyung beside her. I couldn't control myself as I went up to them and hugged her tight from behind.

"I won't let it happen... I swear..." I swore under my breath as I hugged her tighter.

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"Jagi, this is Jiyoon eomma... She's my second mother, my mom's bestfriend and... my doctor." She introduced, with Dr. Jiyoon looking surprised with a soft gasp. Why was she so surprised? "Jiyoon eomma, he's Jungkook, my boyfriend." She told her, making my heart skip a beat before smiling awkwardly to Dr Jiyoon while her surprised eyes turned into soft ones.

"He knows..." She whispered to herself.

I bet Christine asked her to keep it a secret.

"I told him." Christine said,

"And he chose to stay..."

"Please love her and be there for her. Take care of her and be attentive. She hides her pain and chooses to suffer alone just for the sake of not bothering those she loves."

"Be strong for her and don't chicken out. Don't leave, especially when you see the worst of the worst."

She reminded me. She loved Christine like how a mother would and I understand. I understand what she means when she said 'be strong and don't chicken out. Don't leave especially when you see the worst of the worst' it was hard. It was hell seeing her go through this. There was not a day that I prayed if ever I could be the one to suffer instead. It pains me to be so useless. I couldn't do anything. I'm slowly dying inside... But I'd never resolve to leaving. I won't leave her hanging.

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"Lets break up."

My world felt like it was falling apart. I had to hear this wrong. It must be some kind of mistake.

"Jungkook... Let's end this..."

No. This can't be happening. After all this time... Why?

"Jungkook... It's pointless."

"You're not even sure anymore if you really love me or not."

That's not true. It has always been you. Yuri was nothing compared to you. She just confused me on those times I was so vulnerable, but it never meant anything. You're the only one...

"Let's just end this joke, Jungkook. Let's face it. You'll be happier with Yuri and you'll stop suffering too. Killing two birds with one stone right?"

"WHO ARE YOU KIDDING JUNGKOOK?! I MIGHT DIE ANYTIME AND YOU'RE SUFFERING. You're not happy anymore. I'm just making you miserable... Please..."

Stop this Min Christine.

Jebal. Hajima...

"Is this what you want?" I asked shakily as I took her hand in mine. "Is this really... What you want?"

She looked away, trying to hide a tear that escaped. She wiped it quickly with her free hand but she remained composed. She breathed heavily but her eyes were no doubt filled with nothing but pain and sorrow as much as I had. She was also suffering... This isn't easy for her as much as it is for me...

I felt so lost when she never responded. What was I fighting for anymore? She already gave up...

What's left for me to fight for?

Min Christine...

Tell me...

How do I forget...

When I love you all too much...

I buried my face in my hands as I cried, letting out the pain.

That is the thing about pain... it demands to be felt.

Says the book she was once reading while waiting for time to pass in her hospital bed.

I'm feeling it...

I'm drowning in it.

I'm chocking, I can't breathe.

Min Christine...

I still love you...

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A/N

Sorry if it sucked fagfhjahgrwka. It was kind of rushed. I told myself I made you wait for too long, but I had to sleep because I still had classes tomorrow and mom's yelling but I still finished this first before I go to sleep. Keke~ Rebel. xD But tell me what you think about it! I'll try to update the one shots tomorrow. Then SWM, then back to YHM. Everything's outlined. All I have to do is write them down. Whoop whoop. Stay safe everyone~ Saranghaeyo~