Chapter 68

Next day, Esined

I laid in bed, scrolling on my phone when there were small knocks on my door.

"Come in!" I said.

August peeped his head in.

"Hey," I said, sitting up.

"Hey baybeh," he stepped in. "I'm sorry fa canceling on you," he had several bags in his hands.

I sighed. "Really August?"

He poked out his bottom lip, nodding. "I know you're mad at me,"

"I'm not," I pushed my hair out of my face and sat my phone to the side.

"Yes you are," he sat the bags on my bed.

"So you bought me gifts?"

He nodded.

"Gifts won't make up for the lost time, babe. I just wanted to spend time with you," I said.

He frowned.

"I'm sorry. I appreciate the gifts, but I don't want them,"

"Es, just take them,"

"You know I hate when you spend unnecessary money on me,"

"I know, I know. I just don't know how ta show how sorry I am,"

"Just schedule a date and don't cancel," I said nicely and he still took it personal.

"I can't help dat things come up," he said, becoming defensive.

"I know you can't, babe. And I wasn't even saying it like that,"

"Then what were you tryna say?"

"Nothing, Aug," I mumbled.

"No, say it,"

"Drop it. It's not deep at all,"

He sucked his teeth. "Are you gonna open your gifts?"

I opened the bags and saw a lot of clothes and jewelry. He basically bought me things I'd point out to him in the mall and then say I wasn't gonna buy it. He even brought me breakfast.

"Thanks, Snug. I appreciate it baby," I smiled up at him.

"No problem,"

"Why'd you buy me so much stuff? Breakfast alone would have been fine. Hell, even just you coming to see me would have been fine,"

He sighed, clearly annoyed. "Can you just accept my gifts?"

"I was just saying. I've accepted and I appreciate your gifts,"

He sat on my bed and I just couldn't help, but to become curious. August scrolled on his phone and I just stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Why'd you cancel on me yesterday?"

He sighed. "I already told you, somethin' came up,"

"I know what you said, but I wanted to know something about it. Is everything and everyone okay?"

"Yes,"

"Okay," I said. "I just worry about you sometimes, that's all,"

"You ain't got to. I'm good," he mumbled, scrolling on his phone.

"Well, I'm your girlfriend... I worry about you just as much as you worry about me,"

He didn't respond, he just kept typing and scrolling away on his phone.

I sighed, resting my chin on the palm of my hand.

"What's da problem? Tell me because you ova hea huffin' and puffin'. What's up?"

I looked down. "Is there someone else?"

"Someone else? Whatchu mean?"

"Another girl, August,"

He sucked his teeth. "Why would there be anotha girl?"

"I don't know, you tell me. You don't tell me anything anymore,"

"Okay,"

"Okay?" I questioned back. "Is there another girl or not? It's a simple yes or no question,"

"No, damn,"

"Okay then,"

"Just like everybody else," he mumbled.

I folded my arms. "How am I like everyone else?"

"Y'all all think I'm cheatin' on you,"

"Well, what do you expect me to think? You cancel our dates and have the same excuse every time. I get that you can get a little busy, I do too, but it doesn't mean that we can always cancel each other,"

"I don't wanna talk about dis,"

"I do. I just want to know what's wrong. I want to help you, I wa-"

"Esined, the best thing you can do is just stop askin' me questions and tryin' ta interrogate me. I said I didn't want ta talk about it, so we're not. When you don't wanna talk about shit, we drop it. How come we can't drop dis?"

"Because you're hiding things from me and I don't like it. I always end up telling you what happened anyway. I don't hide things from you like you hide things from me,"

He groaned. "Oh my goodness! You can't just drop it? Leave it alone, Es! I don't wanna talk about it," he raised his voice, standing up.

I looked down, biting on my lip.

"Just wanted ta come ova hea and chill wit you," he stopped talking and fixed his shirt.

"I'll drop it, okay? Just calm down and we can chill,"

"Fuck it. I don't wanna chill no mo'," he grabbed his keys from my dresser.

"August," I stood up. "Babe, come on now. It's not that serious,"

"Ain't shit eva serious when I take it personal,"

"All I asked was a simple question. I don't see why you're getting mad when all you could have said was no. It was not as deep as you made it," I stood in front of my door, blocking his way out.

"You really startin' ta irritate da fuck outta me,"

I stood there. "Choose your words wisely," I said quietly.

"Get out my way,"

"Nope. You're not going anywhere. I'm not letting you drive while you're mad, so," I shrugged. "You can sit down or something,"

"Are you serious right now?"

"Are you serious right now?" I asked back, sitting down in front of the door.

He sucked his teeth and sat down in front of me.

"Are you gonna stop being an asshole?"

August pretended to be listening to music, humming to himself. He took earphones from his pocket, unraveling them.

"Ignoring me is nice too,"

He chose a playlist and plugged his earphones in.

"Yup. Tune out and run away from all of your problems. Ignore the people who care about and love you. The usual. You're good at that," I said nonchalantly.

"Shut up. Damn," he said.

"No,"

He put one of the earphones in his ear.

"You know that you're being really childish right now?"

"I could say the same ta you,"

"How? I'm just trying to-"

"Yeah whateva," he put his other earphone in.

I blinked at him and sighed.

I wasn't going to deal with his childishness. I didn't want to stoop down to his level anymore than I had either. If he wanted to be angry at me for being worried, then so be it. At this point, I was annoyed and I didn't want to be around his negative energy. I only wanted him to stay because I thought he was gonna give in and tell me.

I stood up and walked over to my bed. I grabbed everything he bought me and put it back in the bags. I went over to my door and opened it. I held the bags and August looked up at me.

He stood up, starting to laugh as he removed an earphone.

"Yeah. I bet it's really funny to be mean and hurt the feelings of people who love you. Yep, just keep laughing," I said sarcastically, shoving the bags at him.

"Es-"

"Bye,"

"Aiight. Rememba dat," he chuckled.

"Okay. I'll write it down incase I almost forget,"

"Good,"

"Great. Can you get out now?" I smiled.

"You ain't gotta tell me twice,"

"But you're still standing there,"

"I'm lookin' fa my keys," he patted his pockets.

I saw them on the floor and grabbed them. I tossed them and he didn't catch them.

"Why you couldn't just hand 'em ta me? Ignorant ass," he huffed, picking them up.

"Why couldn't you just tell me what was wrong instead of being a jerk? Insensitive ass," I challenged back.

"Whateva. Bye,"

I waved and as soon as he moved back a little, I closed the door in his face. I walked over to my window and watched August walk to his car. He unlocked the door and carelessly threw the gift bags inside. He slammed his door and got in on his driver side.

I laughed at his tantrum from my window. I stopped laughing when he took off, speeding down the street.

I grabbed my phone, calling him. He sent it to voicemail and I kept on calling him. When he answered, I started cursing at him.

"Who da fuck you think you talkin' ta, Esined?"

"Who else could I be talking to, August? Slow your mad self down before you hurt someone or yourself. That's why I didn't want you to leave because you do stupid crap when you're mad,"

"Okay," he said, clearly annoyed.

I hung up on him.

My phone vibrated and there was a message from Viola.

Viola: What's up with Nola? Did I do something to him? 12:31 pm

Idk who that is. 12:32 pm

Viola: Is that shade? 12:32 pm

It's whatever you want to take it as. 12:33 pm

Viola: I hope you both work out whatever it is :( 12:34 pm

We will. He's stubborn, so he won't say anything to me for a little. 12:35 pm

Viola: Yeah. You guys will be good tomorrow 😂 12:36 pm

💀 right. We'll be good lol. 12:37

5 days later, Friday

Days had gone by and August was still ignoring me. He'd see me in school and keep walking as if he didn't see me. It was bothering me because people were assuming that we were over.

This girl in particular was bothering me. She was always around August every time I saw him. She'd be laughing and he'd fake laugh if I was around.

August was making me look stupid and I didn't like it. If he was expecting me to come back crawling to him, he had another thing coming. I didn't know if he called himself trying to make me jealous, but it wasn't working because I know her bond with him is no where near like ours. If anything, it just pissed me off.

I sat in class quietly and August walked in, taking his seat beside me.

No words were exchanged and he pretended that I didn't exist.

"Is this seat available?" a boy asked.

I looked up. "Yeah,"

He smiled and sat down.

Class went on and at some point, the boy turned around to talk to me.

"Do you know what we're doing?" he asked, causing us both to laugh quietly.

"I do. We're doing pages four through five,"

"I mean, do you know how to do this stuff?"

"Yeah,"

"Can you help me with an example?"

I nodded, taking my pencil from behind my ear. He turned to watch me do the problem.

"Oh, I knew I messed up something. I see what I did wrong. Thank you..."

"Esined," I smiled.

"Esined. That's a nice name. I'm Xavier,"

"Thank you. No problem, Xavier. If you need help, just let me know. I'm a tutor in this subject,"

He nodded and turned back around.

I looked over, locking eyes with August for a second. I looked away and continued to focus.

When class was over, Xavier had more questions for me and I gladly answered them.

"I'm not sure if I wanna schedule a tutoring session just yet," he said. "Because I don't want to schedule it and end up wasting our time if I understand it,"

"That's fine," I said. "Just let me know if you need any help or anything,"

"Thank you. I will," he smiled. "See you around,"

"See ya," I gave him back a smile and we went our separate ways.

I walked to my locker and August walked up on me. I kept looking through my locker.

"Baybeh, we need ta stop be stubborn and talk. Dis gettin' outta hand fa'real,"

I laughed a little. "Now I'm your baby and we need to talk?"

"You're always my baybeh,"

"Well you're the one who started this whole not talking thing. I've tried to talk to you multiple times,"

"And I tried to talk ta you too. You ignored me,"

"Because you've been embarrassing me and making me look stupid for a few days now. You've been walking around with that girl and having people think we aren't together anymore,"

"I'm sorry, okay?"

I stared at him. "No you aren't. You did it on purpose to hurt my feelings,"

"I mean it, I am sorry. How can I make it up ta you?"

"There's no making up. Just do better. Stop being childish and getting mad at me all the time for small things. I know we're not grown, but we know better than to be acting like this,"

"I hea' you, ma. I do,"

"I hope you're taking it all in too," the bell rang. "Now, I'm late and I have to go to class," I sighed, grabbing my fourth hour notebook.

"Will I see you at lunch?"

I shrugged and closed my locker.

August grabbed my hand when I started to walk away.

"What?"

He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry," he let me go.

I turned away and walked to my fourth hour. I sat in class and tried to pay attention, but I couldn't.

I was relieved when the bell rang for lunch. I decided that I wanted to go out.

August caught me at my locker. "You going out?"

I nodded.

"Can I come wit you?"

I sighed and nodded again.

He stood back, waiting on me.

I put my books in my locker and grabbed my purse. I got out my keys and closed my locker door.

He put out his hand and I looked at it before continuing to walk. He awkwardly walked beside me.

We went to outside to my car and got in. There was an awkward silence while I drove, so I turned up the radio.

I drove to Panera and we got out the car. We went inside and ordered our food. When I pulled out my wallet, August moved me out of the way and swiped his card.

"Thank you," I said.

"No problem,"

We stood off to the side and waited for our food. We got our food and sat at a table near the windows, but away from everyone. We ate most of our food, but I wasn't done yet.

August looked at me. "I messed up, huh?"

I stayed quiet.

"I didn't mean ta embarrass you,"

"Then what'd you mean to do?"

He looked down.

"You hung out with that girl, having malicious intentions," I dipped my bread into my soup before eating it.

"I didn't do anything with her, I promise,"

"I know. Y'all don't have any type of chemistry,"

It was quiet for a moment.

"Your mama told me that you're going back to anger management," I said.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"I think it'll be good for you,"

"Why?"

"I don't want to say anything that will make you mad, so I'll keep my opinions to myself,"

"I'm not gonna get mad. I wanna know,"

"Well, I just think your anger has been getting out of hand lately. I agree with your mama. You need this time away,"

He nodded. "It feels different when you say it,"

"How?"

"When otha people say it, they just seem like they naggin' me. When you say it, it sounds like you genuinely care about me,"

"I do, Aug. Don't ever forget that," I sipped my drink.

"I don't know what I did ta deserve a girl like you... Wit dat shit I pulled, I wouldn't even be mad if you called quits wit me,"

"We're all human and we all make mistakes. I know you didn't do anything with her. Even thought it hurt me, I can move beyond it and forgive you. I love you a lot and I don't want to lose you, so yeah... I actually mean things like this when I say it to you,"

"I don't know why I put our relationship in dat position. I'm really sorry. My stubbornness and childish ways can cause me ta lose or push away good things," he held my hand over the table.

"Just know that I won't be so nice if you ever try something like that again, okay?"

He looked at me strangely because my softer tone had become more harsh.

"Because if you ever embarrass or having me looking stupid again," I started squeezing his hand tighter and tighter. "I'm going to-"

"Esined," he tried to remove his hand from mine.

"I will break your hand," I squeezed tighter and he moved in his seat.

"Stop,"

I let his hand go and he tried to shake out the numbness.

I watched as he rubbed his throbbing hand.

"You're crazy," he mumbled. "I kinda like it,"

I laughed a little. "I'm not crazy. Just don't mess with my feelings,"

"Yeah. Sure,"

I smiled. "We should get going now,"

He stood up, taking care of our trash, he threw it away.

I rubbed hand sanitizer into my hands.

"You gon' curve me dis time?" he put out his hand.

I held his hand and we left Panera.

We walked to my car and got in.

I started it up after putting on my seat belt. I backed out and drove off.

August sat quietly as I drove us back to school, which didn't take long. We were back at school within seven minutes.

I got out of the car and waited for him to get out. I walked with him beside me.

He put his arm around me and kissed my cheek.

I looked up, staring at his lips.

He leaned down to kiss me and I turned my head. "Bae. Stop bein' mean," he whined.

"You're annoying," I laughed.

"I don't care. We ain't kissed in so long,"

"Here. Dang," I lifted my head, poking out my lips for a kiss.

He smiled and gladly took his kiss. He pecked my lips a few extra times.

"Okay now. Don't get too excited," I playfully pushed his face away.

He chuckled. "Too late,"

I shook my head in shame. "Go to class,"

"Fine. See you afta?"

I nodded and we went our separate ways.

I was happy that August and I came to an understanding. He wasn't officially back on my good side, but he was making his way there.

I hoped that he could show improvement in anger management and his relationships with other. There is something wrong with him and I have hopes that he could work it out or cope with it in those two weeks. I just wanted the best for August and I wanted him to know it.

3 days later, August

I sat in an uncomfortable circle dat was full of adults and teenagers.

"We have newcomer. Why don't you introduce yourself and say why you're here?" the counselor smiled, tossin' da ball ta me.

"Um..." I started. "I'm August,"

"Hi August," they said.

"And yeah. Dats it because I don't know why I'm hea," I said, tossing the ball ta someone else.

"We all have a reason to be here," a girl said from the side of me.

"I ain't crazy like y'all," I said. "Y'all got reasons ta be hea. Not me,"

"Now, August," the counselor said. "We don't use the c word around here. It's not nice. If you weren't new, we'd send you to the black room," she said.

"Da black room? What is dat?"

"Someone enlighten him,"

"The black room is an all black room where you get sent if you're being mean to others, becoming angry, or violent," a boy said.

I sucked my teeth.

Dis shit was childish. I wish they would put me in dat room.

"Why don't we have someone else introduce themselves so August can have an example?" the counselor suggested.

A boy dat I tossed the ball to began ta speak.

"Hi, I'm Jack,"

"Hi, Jack," they all said.

"I'm here for not being able to control my anger and being violent towards others," he said. "I've been here for three weeks and it's a great experience so far,"

"Can you share something that you learned since being here?"

"I've learned how to tone my anger down. I watched how others react to things and I've learned new ways of handling situations. I know when I'm doing too much now,"

"Can you toss the ball back to August?" she smiled.

He smiled, tossin' it back ta me.

I caught it. "Hi. I'm still August,"

"Hi, August," they smiled.

"And I'm still hea fa no reason," I smiled.

A few of them laughed.

"It's not funny," the counselor said. "Tell us what you were told when you were sent here,"

I squinted at her name tag. "Well, Cindy. I was told dat I'm hea because my therapist, mama, and now apparently da rest of my family and my girlfriend think I can't control my anger," I said. "Anymore questions?"

"Where are you from?" a girl asked.

"New Orleans," I said.

"How old are you?"

"Dis ain't no datin' centa,"

A few people in the group laughed and the girl rolled her eyes.

"August," Cindy said.

"What? She clearly heard girlfriend at da end of what I said,"

"We don't embarrass each other or hurt each other's feelings here. You could have simply stated your age or say that you didn't want to,"

"I don't care what I could have done, ta be honest wit you. If her feelings hurt, oh well,"

Some gasped and some laughed.

Cindy frowned. "Group dismissed. August, can you stay back, please?"

Everyone left the room and I remained there.

"I thought it would be easy to work with you, but it's not. Chelsea told me that you know what you're doing and you can have good cooperation skills sometimes. I expected more from you, but I guess I should have expected less," she said quietly.

"Okay?"

"How and what you do in here is going to end up in my weekly report back to Chelsea,"

I stood there, annoyed. I didn't care about what she was saying.

"And based on my reports, she'll either allow you to leave the program or make you stay longer. With the looks of how your first day went, you'll be staying longer,"

"I'm not stayin' longa,"

"Then get your act together. I have faith in you. You know to do the right things. Just do it,"

I huffed. "Okay, Cindy,"

Cindy and I rejoined the group outside. The guys played basketball with counsellors and the girls stood on the side watchin'. I stood on the side of the buildin', stayin' ta myself.

"August, can you come over here a bit more?" a male counselor said.

"I'm not doin' nothin'," I said.

"The lines, man. I just need you to come back a few steps," he stopped their basketball game, puttin' the ball under his arm.

I looked at the red and yellow lines tapped on the concrete. I stepped away from them.

"Thank you," he said.

I nodded and they continued their game.

"They don't like when we step too close or over the lines," a girl voice said from beside me.

"I think I understand dat now," I said.

"Just letting you know,"

I smelled cigarettes and I looked at her.

"Need a smoke?" she offered.

"Nah. Dats not my thing,"

She nodded. "I can tell. Your skin is too nice," she said as she lit it.

"Can you smoke dat somewhere else?"

"Nope. You're in my spot,"

I stared at her. "So you just gon' smoke it anyway?"

She nodded, puttin' it in between her lips and inhalin'.

"Ignorant as fuck," I walked off and heard her laughin'.

Since she wanted ta be petty, I could be too.

"Aye Cindy," I said.

Cindy looked up. "Yes, August?"

"Y'all let y'all patients smoke around hea?"

"Smoking?" her eyes widened. "Who's smoking?"

"She around da corna smokin' a cigarette,"

"Show me,"

I took her ta the corna, pointin' ta the girl.

"Lindsay," Cindy said. "Put it out, now,"

Lindsay ashed the cigarette on the brick wall.

"Come on,"

She came ova ta Cindy and glared at me as she was taken inside of the buildin'.

I started laughin' ta myself.

Afta a while of bein' outside, a counselor blew his whistle.

"Alright everybody! Let's bring it in!" he said, clapping his hands. "Put everything back where you got it from and line it up,"

They all put away things dat they borrowed and we stood in line. I noticed a counselor pattin' people down and searchin' their pockets as we walked through the door.

"They doin' too much,"

"Wait for it," Jack said.

A young boys pockets were searched and they found somethin'.

"Why are you taking rocks again, Dylan?" the counselor asked him.

Dylan stayed quiet.

I was confused.

"Stand to the side,"

Dylan stood beside the man and I looked at Jack.

"Why he stealin' rocks?"

"Something is wrong with that boy. He threw some at Cindy last week,"

I tried not ta laugh. "Dats messed up,"

"Yeah. She's really nice. I hate when people are rude to her,"

I stayed quiet because I wasn't too fond of Cindy.

I ain't like bein' hea at all. I felt like I didn't belong hea. It's not like I really had a problem. I just needed ta work on bein' nicer ta people and not gettin' mad so easily. I ain't have actual problems like these people did. I could tell dat some of was just crazy fa no reason or actin' out fa attention.

As the day went by, we ended up rejoinin' and gettin' back togetha as a group. We talked about how today went and how everybody was feelin'. I didn't want ta share and of course Cindy had ta call me out fa it. At the end, it was time ta go and I was beyond ready ta go.

"I hope tomorrow is better for you," Cindy placed her hand on my shoulder as I was leavin'.

I kept walkin' and went to the lunch room. We got our phones and headphones back from the bin.

"Alright, with me I got Jack, Dylan, Jennifer, Lisa, and August," Perry said. "Let's go,"

We followed him outside.

I got into the van last and Perry made sure we were all in. He typed in everyones location ta his gps.

"Everybody got their seatbelt on?" he asked.

We all nodded or said yes.

"You're first today Alsina," he said.

"Cool," I mumbled and put in my earphones. I listened ta music so I could block out the otha sounds.

When he pulled up ta the gates, he looked at me. I had ta lean ova him and press it in. The gates opened and he drove slowly.

"Have a nice day," he said when he parked in front of my house.

"You too," I got out and closed the door.

I went up ta the door and took out my keys. I unlocked it and went in.

Esined was there wit Viola, paintin' her nails. They got quiet when I walked in.

"Hey, Nola," Viola said.

"Wassup," I said. "Hey baybeh,"

"Hey," she mumbled.

"What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you in private,"

"Okay," I took a seat beside her.

"How was your first day?"

"First days are never easy," I said simply.

"Hopefully it'll get better tomorrow or some time during the week," she said, hopeful.

"I hope so," I said.

"Were you being cooperative?"

"Mm. I smell somethin' good. Who cooked?"

"Aug," she frowned. "You have to act right so you can leave sooner,"

"I will,"

"You better. Remember what I said?"

I nodded.

"I'm not joking either,"

Esined told me dat if I didn't start improvin' wit my anger, we were gonna break up and be friends until I could "control" myself.

I sighed. "I know, Es,"

"Good. I'm not doing this to hurt you. I just want you to be better, okay?"

I nodded. "I know,"

-Hi. How are y'all?

The anger management scenes may seem weird & they are lol. I'm writing those parts from experience.

You just ever feel really disappointed in a character? Me @ August for like 3 chapters now.

He needs to do better.

A lot of people say that August is too whiny & fail to realize that one of the major themes of this book is (slightly) reversed roles lmao.

Welp, I made a periscope. I still haven't done a live chat thing though.

My periscope is EiriahsFlow (same goes for my Twitter and Instagram)

My snapchat is ShairieIsLike (I usually talk & do other weird things on there lol)

You can add me if you want lol. I just get asked a lot, so I thought I'd put them here.

Excuse typos please.

Comments & Votes are appreciated.

Much love, Shia. Xoxo