Chapter 69

Esined

August sat on the floor in between my legs. I played in his hair, doing small twists.

"You still ain't tell me what happened early," he said quietly.

"Oh," I mumbled. "I went out with my mama yesterday,"

"And what happened?"

"I spoke to her about want to be back in contact with Eric. She doesn't like the idea of it at all. She thinks that I shouldn't reach out to him after everything that he's done,"

"That's understandable, but he still yo pops at the end of the day. You gon' always love him,"

"Right... Aug, I think it's something wrong with her,"

"Why you say dat?"

"She's getting extremely protective over me. I had to beg her to let me come over today,"

"Fa'real?" he looked up at me.

"Yeah... She's been acting strange ever since Don moved in,"

"You think somethin' goin' on wit dem?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Things are so tense when they're in the same room together. It seems like they're always throwing shade at each other. They just give looks, they never usually make comments,"

"Dats weird,"

"Right," I mumbled.

"Baybeh, I gotta ask you somethin',"

"What's that?"

"You don't remember seein' Don's history?"

"I remember seeing it, but I didn't read his charges or anything. I clicked on Eric's,"

"Oh..." he said. "Keep an eye out fa him, aiight?"

"My mama said the same thing,"

"I just don't trust him,"

"Why? Do you get bad vibes from him?"

He nodded. "I wanna tell you somethin',"

"I'm listening,"

"You remember when you told me Don got shot?"

"Yeah,"

"Well, I didn't know you like I wanted to at da time. Dis was back when you was still curvin' my game," he said, causing me to laugh a little bit.

"I was wit Mel one night, we was makin' a drop. Mel told me ta watch out fa him or whateva. I did. An olda white man came up ta Mel, tryna rob him. He was gon' kill Mel. I was standin' behind a tree and I shot da man in his shoulda... I was scared ta tell you because I didn't want you ta leave me,"

I continued rubbing my hands on his head. "So, you're saying that you shot my uncle?"

"I didn't know he was yo uncle at da time. I was just tryna protect my brotha,"

"You did what you had to do. I'm not mad. He shouldn't have been out there trying to rob people... I'm glad you told me,"

He looked up at me. "I'm glad dat you understand,"

"Hey, things happen," I shrugged a little. "If he would have died, then I would have hated you, but he didn't, so it's okay,"

"Yeah, my aim wasn't ta kill him,"

"Then it's fine. Does he know you shot him?"

He nodded.

"And he's fine with that?"

"We came ta an agreement. We said we wasn't gon' tell you, but I'm workin' on bein' honest and lettin' you in..."

"It's your first day at that center and you're already telling me things? It must be nice up there," I smiled.

"It's horrible up there,"

"How?"

"It's dis lil boy up there, his name is Dylan. He was stealin' rocks ta throw 'em at people,"

"What in the world..."

"Yeah. And dis girl, Lindsay, already tryin' me. I snitched on her fa smokin' a cigarette,"

I laughed. "Why?"

"She wasn't supposed ta be smokin' it. She tried ta smoke it around me after I asked her not to,"

"That's ignorant. Maybe tomorrow will be better,"

"I hope so," he said.

"You need to be cooperative too,"

"I am bein' cooperative,"

"I doubt it. You're a stubborn mess,"

"Have faith in me,"

"I can only have so much faith," I joked, making him frown. "Stop it. I kid,"

"Mhm," he mumbled.

"Is there anything else you wanna tell me?"

"Hmm... Befo' I started the program, I had a therapy session. I expressed myself and how I was feelin' dat say,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I said somethings ta Chelsea about us,"

"I'm listening,"

"I told her dat I wasn't honestly ready fa everything dat you have ta offa. I ain't wanna share nun wit you. And I feel less in the relationship..."

"Are you trying to say something or-"

"No. I'm not sayin' dat,"

"Oh... Well, that was how you felt at that moment, right?"

"Yeah, but at this moment, I still feel less,"

"Why?"

"You know you out there, doin' ya modelin' thang. Your name is gettin' out and you're gainin' like a fan base and stuff... I just feel like I'm gonna matter less and less ta you,"

"Awe. Never that. You'll always mean a lot to me. I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for you. You're the one who encourages me all the time. Other people do too, but you do it the most," I smiled. "Don't feel less important,"

"And I was just talkin' in my session, I ain't mean a lot of the shit I said. I said it out of anger... It's like I'm ready ta fully give me ta you, but you goin' ta Princeton is really throwin' me off,"

"I know," I sighed. "We just don't need to overthink it. Us thinking and talking about it so much will only drive us apart. We've been arguing a lot since I got accepted, so I figured that was the reason,"

"I guess I was forcin' the distance between us ta come quicka," he mumbled.

"I'm probably thinking too deep about it, but do you have separation anxiety?"

"Nah,"

"You show the signs of it. Maybe you should get that checked out,"

"I might,"

"You have this thing where you want to make things happen before it happens, or if you think it's gonna happen... If that makes sense,"

"It does," he said.

"Why do you do that?"

"Ta get it ova wit,"

"You thought we were gonna break up?"

He nodded.

"So you were gonna rush to it?"

"Yep?"

"Boy, you're crazy," I laughed.

He looked at me strangely. "You da one who laughin'. You low key crazy, baybeh?"

"If I am, it's because of you,"

"How?"

"Because you're crazy,"

"No, I'm not. I be chillin',"

"And starting arguments with me every other minute,"

He chuckled to himself.

"See, you're crazy. You get a rise out of pissing me off,"

"I really do. You look so cute when ya face turn red,"

"Okay, Mr. I slam car doors and speed down the street,"

"You pissed me off. I would have been less mad if you just kept da gifts,"

"I lowkey wanted to keep them," I mumbled, causing us both to laugh.

"Girl, I went and got my money back quick as shit,"

"August," I gasped. "Why would you do that? You knew we were gonna make up-"

"I'm kidding," he laughed. "They in my closet,"

I lightly hit him upside his head. "Such a meany,"

He continued laughing. "Your voice rose a whole octave. You knew we were gonna make up," he mimicked.

I folded my arms, waiting for his laughing fit to come to a stop.

Slapping his knee, he laughed louder.

"It really wasn't that funny,"

"Whoo," he fake wiped a tear. "Dat was funny,"

"A-hole," I mumbled.

"Why you so sensitiiive?" he turned around, getting on his knees.

"I'm not,"

"Lie again," he slowly got closer to my face.

"I'm not, Aug. I just don't think it was as funny as you made it seem,"

"Mhm. People get sensitive when the jokes on them,"

"Shut up," I laughed. "You're just trying to get a rise out of me,"

"Nah. I kinda want you ta rise up out of them clothes though,"

I locked eyes with him. "You want me to do what?"

"You heard me," he chuckled.

"You can't do that here,"

"Why not?"

"Everyone is home-"

"You think I care?"

"Clearly you don't if you suggested it," I laughed. "I respect your mama and I'm not gonna be disrespectful in her home,"

"You sure?" he looked at my lips and began to lean in.

"Positive," I said.

"I mean, ain't nothin' wrong wit bein' a lil rude,"

"August, no," I laughed and so did he.

"Maybe some otha time,"

"What happened to you wanting that to be the last time we did something nasty until marriage?"

August twisted his lips to the side. "See, what happened was..." he trailed off.

"I'm listening,"

"When you're a male, you have your wants and needs... I may just been having a day o-or a week," he scratched the back of his head.

I started laughing. "You're a whole mess out here,"

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's okay, Snugga. We all have those days. You know I have mine,"

"Mhm. I know,"

My phone began to vibrate and I sighed when I saw it was my mama.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Where are you?" she asked with concern.

"I'm with August,"

"Oh... Can you come home?"

"Why, mama?"

"It's getting dark out. I hate when you drive while it's dark,"

I sighed, knowing it was deeper than what she was telling me through the phone.

"Okay,"

"See you when you get here,"

"See ya," I hung up.

"You gotta go, huh?" August asked.

"Yeah," I said.

August walked me downstairs and I told the family goodbye.

"Drive safe," he said.

"You cannot give me any driving advice," I said.

He laughed. "Girl, shut yo beginner ass up. You a lil baybeh on da streets. I know what I be doin',"

"Yeah, whatever. Doing fifty on a fifteen is not the wave. Now, give me a kiss so I can go,"

He leaned down, kissing my lips.

I pecked his lips several times as we pulled away.

"I luh you. Drive safe, lil lady,"

"I will. I love you too,"

"Mhm. Don't forget to call me when you get home,"

"Okay,"

He gave me another hug and opened my car door for me.

I got in and he closed it. I put on my seatbelt and started up my car. I waved and he waved after stepping back.

I backed out of the driveway and left. I drove, taking the main streets.

I was driving under the traffic light and a car from the opposite side came speeding at me. Other cars honked their horn at the car who violated the red light on their side.

I slammed my foot onto the gas, rushing to get out of the way. With just a little space to spare, I was out of their way and had felt their car scrape against the back of mine. If I didn't move, they would have crashed into me.

My heart thumped in my chest and I had to pull over. I was terrified and I felt like I had never been so close to death in my life.

My fear turned into anger and I had to calm myself down. I prayed and thanked God that I had probably only had a few scratches on the back of my car instead of that driver taking my entire life.

Once I was completely okay, I began to drive again. I was paranoid, but I made it home safely.

I sat on my bed, trying to process what happened while I was driving. I debated on telling anyone that it happened.

-Hi. How are y'all?

I hope y'all are doing good. I'm feeling better.

I'm surprised a lot of y'all added me on snapchat.

Idk if I wanna do questions on snapchat or on periscope.

I don't think I'm gonna check my inbox on much here anymore. It's too muuuch. I have so many unread messages. :[ lmao. I'm sorry, but gah'lee.

After months of begging me, I finally let my mama read this. She's already addicted and she's on chapter 38.

When she read that car scene after Esined birthday, I'ma get interrogated and choked tf up. 💀

But ya know. I'm done talking lol. Sorry.

Excuse typos please.

Comments & Votes are appreciated.

Much love, Shia. Xoxo