Chapter 46

Niall POV

“Who is it?” I call as I walk towards the door that Perrie’s just answered. I drop my bowl of popcorn and it smashes to pieces as I see Zayn and Harry standing in the doorway.

“Someone tell me what’s going on!” Zayn says as he marches angrily through the hallway and into the lounge, leaning on a sofa.

“It’s nothing,” Perrie says, rushing over to Zayn.

“Don’t be fucking stupid Perrie. Do you think I’m dumb? What’s going on?” Zayn asks but I turn to Harry.

“What the fuck, Harry?” I say as he shuts the door.

“I’m sorry. He knew something was up,” Harry says.

Zayn pushes Perrie out of his way before marching up to me so we’re face to face. I’ve never seen him so angry. This isn’t how I wanted anything to come out.

“Tell me,” Zayn growls through gritted teeth.

“She just came over to hang out,” I lie. I know I shouldn’t lie but I can’t tell him right now.

Zayn moves away from me and stands face to face with Perrie. “You. Tell me what fucking happened,” he says aggressively.

Perrie puts her head down as tears start falling down her cheeks. Harry looks towards me apologetically as I watch my best friend boil up.

“STOP FUCKING CRYING AND TELL ME!” Zayn shouts just inches away from her face.

Perrie turns to look at me but I just stand here like a coward.

Zayn grabs her face aggressively, turning it back to face him.

“Don’t touch her like that,” I say, angry that this is all my fault yet she’s the one hurting the most.

“What does it matter to you?” Zayn asks, turning to stare me down. “No way,” Zayn says as he has a moment of realization. “No fucking way,” he says turning to face me then Perrie then back at me.

“Zayn don’t,” Harry warns him. I can see Zayn getting angrier and angrier as he fully realizes what has been hidden from him.

“You fancy my girlfriend?” he asks and I just look down to the ground. “And what? You thought you’d invite her round to do what? Steal her from me? Fuck her?”

I stand quietly, angry at his accusations but I know anything I say will just make the situation worse. I slowly look up at him and he quickly grabs Perrie’s face and pushes his lips aggressively onto hers. She pushes him away quickly and he turns back to face me.

“Can’t we just sit down and talk about it?” I ask, finally breaking my silence.

“What is there to talk about?” Zayn asks but now he sounds more upset than angry as a tear falls from his eyes and I really see the damage I’ve caused.

“Please, Zayn,” Perrie says.

“So you two are a team now? Are you officially together? Should we call the press now or later?” he says. He points to Perrie, “We’ll tell them how you’ve ripped my band apart.” Then he turns to point at me, “And we’ll tell them how you’ve ripped my life apart.”

There is nothing that me or Perrie can say. But he’s not right. She hasn’t done anything wrong.

“Just let everyone tell their side of the story,” Harry says and we all follow him to sit down on the sofas. I sit on the armchair, Perrie sits on the other armchair, and Zayn and Harry share the sofa.

“Perrie, you first. Tell us why you’re here,” Harry says, acting like the judge in a courtroom.

“Well,” Perrie starts, trying to catch Zayn’s eye contact but he wont look at her. “Yesterday, in the club, you were drunk –“

“-So you thought you’d get with my best friend?” Zayn interrupts.

“Shut up, Zayn. Let her speak,” Harry says and nods at me.

“So, Harry was drunk as well. And I was speaking to Niall when Harry came over. He said, um, he said Niall liked me,” she says, “Harry and Niall left and I couldn’t sleep last night, thinking about what Harry said. So I texted Niall and I asked if we could meat because I needed to speak to him. But, Zayn, I swear nothing happened. Nothing at all. We just spoke, that’s it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this morning?” Zayn says and my heart twinges a bit, just knowing that they spent last night together while I thought about Perrie all night, like I had done for the past few months.

“I didn’t even know if it was true. I didn’t want to hurt him or hurt your friendship. I’m sorry Zayn,” Perrie says. She’s usually so smiley and happy but now there are tears coming from her eyes.

“Well you lied to me so you’ve hurt me, my friendship and our relationship,” Zayn says, twiddling with his sleeve as Perrie wipes her tears with the back of her hand.

“Niall?” Harry says, signaling for me to tell my story.

“I don’t know what to say, Zayn. I’m sorry, I really am. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it. I didn’t mean for anyone to find out. But I told Harry when I was drunk about a month ago. I’m honestly sorry, Zayn,” I say as I look at Zayn and Perrie. They both look so upset and I know it’s all my doing. I never meant to hurt anyone.

“Why can’t you just move on? What are you doing holding onto a crush when I’m with her? I’m in love with her Niall. Why can’t you just let her go,” Zayn says, hurting me a little with every word.

“I’m in love with her too,” I mutter under my breath.

“Speak up,” Zayn says. I didn’t realize he’d hear that.

“I said I’m in love with her too,” I finally blurt out. Regretting it the second it comes out of my mouth.

“What?” Perrie says, in shock.

“What?” Zayn says and I look to Harry for support.

After blurting out my secret I quickly get up to go and shut myself in the bathroom.

Perrie POV

“If he loved her you should’ve told us Harry. That’s something we need to know. He should’ve told us,” Zayn says as Niall slams the bathroom door shut.

“You don’t know how hard this has been for him, Zayn,” Harry says, looking over to the bathroom door, aware that Niall may be listening. “You’ve never been through what he’s going through. Imagine being in love with someone, not being able to tell them, knowing you’ll never ever be with them. Not even if you guys broke up, he still wouldn’t go for her and you know that. You know he wouldn’t do that to you. Nearly every day he has to listen to you talk about her. He has to listen to you saying you’re in love with her and to you describing your dates. When he’s with both of you he has to watch you kissing and watch you all loved up. You have no idea how hard that is Zayn. Just give him a break.”

“He should be able to talk about this with me. I knew he had a crush but I thought he’d gotten over it,” Zayn says and my attention turns fully to him.

“You knew?” I ask, “And you didn’t say anything to me? So I was expected to tell you but you weren’t expected to say anything to me?”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal. He said he’d get over it. I thought he would,” Zayn tells me and I guess he’s right. I shouldn’t make a fuss about it when other things are going on.

“I’m gonna go and talk to him,” I say, standing up.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Zayn advises but there’s no stopping me as I walk down the corridor to the bathroom and knock on the door.

“It’s Perrie,” I say and I slowly push the door open to see Niall slumped on the floor leaning against the wall. I walk in, shut the door behind me, and sit down next to him.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I’m sorry that I’ve caused loads of problems.”

“You haven’t. Honestly, you are like the nicest boy ever and you’ve always been so lovely to me and to my friends. You’ve always been really supportive and I really appreciate it. I really love having you around as a friend but if you need to not see me for a while then that’s fine, I completely understand,” I say as I look down at his lap where he’s playing with his sleeve.

“I don’t want it to have to be like that,” Niall says.

“Only for a little while. Then when everything is fine again we can hang out all the time and I’ll find you a nice girl,” I say, smiling at him and a smile starts to spread across his face.

“But I don’t know how long it’ll take to get over you,” Niall admits.

“It’ll be easier if I’m not around you all the time. It can’t be easy seeing me every day,” I say, “The last thing I ever want to do is come between you and Zayn. I’d never forgive myself, so it’s worth it for me if I just spend some time away.”

“What do you mean time away?” Niall asks, confused.

“Time away from you boys. I’ll focus on Little Mix more. I’m seeing them less and less and me and Zayn are probably moving to quickly anyway. I need to focus on my career for a bit,” I say. What I’m saying is hurting me, but I know it needs to be done.

“Wait what? Time apart from Zayn?” Niall asks.

“Well I’ll just have to speak to him about it.”

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Eeeeeeek. 

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