Six:After math; 💋

SAM;

Colby kissed me for a segment in the music video that was supposed to be a fake kiss. He lied about not knowing how close I was.

I lay against the bathroom door, barely moving to change. I would just wear the sweeter home as I touched my lips.

I loved how they felt about them. But hated it at the same time. I wanted more but hated I did.

What the fuck am I feeling. I like girls. Not guys.

There's no denying that Colby's a work of art. So fucking hot. He's the emo God. But just because I think that doesn't mean I'm attracted to him.

He's attractive, though.

My brain is so confused that I rest my head against my knees, unsure how to react. I know I freaked out at Colby, and he may think I hate him now for kissing me.

I don't. I could never hate him; I know he did it for the views. It's fine. There are no strings attached.. are there? Do I want them to be?

I flung my hands out, fanning it frantically, not understanding my feelings. I was lost on why I, liked it. What this fe,eling was.as to or what

I never felt it for Colby before. I'm so lost and confused what this is.

COLBY;

I was freaking out, laying my head on my knees, my breathing heavy.

Did I seriously do that? I fucking  liked it I did but Sam freaked out. I'm now more worried I've lost my best friend.

Over a silly crush that surely goes away, if it bloomed so fast it can disintegrate. I'd rather have Sam than lose him. 14 years of a friendship.

14 years of hiding I was so inlove my bestfriend.

Jhonnie sat by me, hand on my knee. "Jake, go check on Sam. I'll stay here with Colby. What just happened freaked them both out," he said.

Jake nodded and went off to check on Sam.

"I'm gonna lose Sam now..because of my selfish designers when I know he's fucking straight," I said, choking through tears.

"Sam, let me in." I heard Jake speak. The door unlocked, and Jake went in to comfort Sam. The door slammed quickly.

"Don't say that. He seems confused," Jhonnie said. He was so flustered by the kiss that he's just confused, Colb."

"He never storms like that when he..."I choked. Never in the 14 years I knew him did I think he would run off."

"People act strange when they're confused about feelings," Jhonnie said, hugging me more. People all messes beforethey are confused about theirat we lik,e, who we trul, are."and 

I nod. "I know I just..." I look at him, puffy-faced and with eyes stained with cold tears. I fear he'll hate me because I kissed him."

"He wouldn't let a kiss," Johnnie started drifting off. It may dictate how your friendship will end. It may change the dynamic. It may open a serious and hard conversation you don't want to hear."

He paused, "But I know you can handle it, Colby. You're strong. You handled it for 14 years."

"I know I can hear my heart pounding into a shatter,," I said, my voice shattering.

"I know." Jhonnie said, "When I first saw Jake he wouldn't.. yk? And tore me a new one for falling for him."

"You actually have a shot," I snap. I'm just going back to the trap house, get an Uber, or do something else. I want to be alone."

"Understandable." Johnnie said, "I would wanna be too, if I was feeling like how you wor.e"

I nodded. " You don't know how I feel. But I'll message you later," I said, pushing my legs to the floor and standing up.

I grab my phone and order an Uber, debating whether I really want to go back. I think I will, and then, after putting my bag in my room, I might walk around our neighborhood.

I booked it to the trap house, zipping over, grabbing my bag. Then, I walked out. "I'm taking an Uber home," I called out to Jake and Sam, my voice shaking.

I know I shouldn't run around but I just need space I need to be able to think.  I am a mess of emotions, and I don't know how to function.

I am fucking distrought even if I don't know exactly what Sam is thinking. About 5 minutes go by, my Uber arrives, and I get in, tossing my bag into the back and sitting there.

"Good afternoon," the driver says as we go off.

"Sure," I said, muttering as we headed. I'm not in the mood to talk. " I leaned on my hand, watching out the window. I saw Sam looking out the bathroom window as I left.

"Ah." The driver said, turning on music for us to listen to.

***

By the time I got home, my phone was blowing up. By Jake, freaking out at why I left so suddenly.

Saying me and sam need to talk all I wrote was we will at some point got alot on my mind need to rethink what I just fucking did.

I clicked my phone off and put it on silent, putting it in my pocket.

"We're here, sir. I hope your afternoon gets better. There's always another hour or day, and not every bad moment will last," he said, seeing that something was wrong.

"Uh... thanks, I guess," I said, my mind a mess of worry, worried about what would happen between me and Sam.

If Sam and I need to talk, why can't Sam message me? A disagreement has never stopped him.

I got out and grabbed my bag from the back, waving to the driver as he drove off. Then, I walked up to the trap house.

"Colby, you're back where the other two are," Elton said, seeing that my face was puffy and that I was alone. Colbs, are you okay?"

"I left before them we had a little problem," I choked, "and I wanted  to be alone to reflect properly."

"Something between you and Sam?" He asked, looking at me as I closed the door.

"Yeah, I kissed him by accident, and he freaked out, so I left." I mutter, voice choked.

"Oh, Colby, he doesn't hate you'll talk to him, okay?" Elton spoke softly, "You go.. you're room ill be up there soon to give you a snack and things."

I nod and head to my room, throwing my bag into the computer chair. Then, I decided to change into gray oversized sweatpants and my kola blue hoodie, plopping back onto my bed.

I put my phone on my nightstand, eye-ducts filled with tears as it washed down my face I pulled the hood over my head. "Fuck Colby, why did you do it" I scolded myself silently as my voice shook and I kissed.

Elton knocked on the side of the door. "Colby... I see you got more comfortable," he said, worried, "I bought you your favorite ice cream and some warm mint tea the way you liked it."He walked over and put it on my bed. " Call me if you need anything, okay?" He said, running his figures through my hair. "I'm a text away."-

Awh, Elton.. comforting Colby.