chapter 3

my familiar comfort, a man buried in my thoughts - bangchan

Hyunjin paused.

"I'm sorry, baby, I thought I found someone else.." Hyunjin hesitated, then said in almost an unnerving guilt as he looked at my shoes, like how he looked at his shoes underneath the table that day.

"Better." He finally uttered, as he looked up sorrowfully in my eyes. I was taken aback, all those nights spent crying, wondering if I did anything wrong; was all because he liked someone else?

"B-better?" I replied, stuttering, trying to not cry. The rain still pouring on us, harder than ever, the cold sensation came to my senses.

"But I-" 

"I know, we broke up. I was stupid. I should've known, that you were the only one who could heal me." He placed his wet palm on my cheek, caressing it, looking into both of my eyes.

I leaned in for another kiss, placing my hand on his hip and his arms were on my neck yet again. The rain drenched us, his lips were soft and I could hear the slow hum of jazz from the hotel nearby. Hyunjin slowly brought his hand further up my neck and touched my hair gently, like what I used to do before he fell asleep. 

We both found the perfect times to pull back and just gaze at each other lovingly, in shame, in laughter. 

"Well, baby, what were you the past 4 years.. without me?" He asked, while cupping my cheeks with both of his hands, so softly.

"Wow.. writing the most depressing songs and trying to move on with a lot of guys - last one I met in a club, uh, I think his name was Kang-dae." I thought about him, remembering his arrogant temper and rolling my eyes.

"What the fuck. Blonde-dyed hair and grey t-shirt?" He looked at me in shock, and took a step back, and he was right.. how did he know him?

"Babe, I just slept with him, bad kisser to say the least."

I laughed, the most since I was with Hyunjin, and hugged Hyunjin close. Honestly, he was right.

But it was times like this, moments like this, when we laughed and connected so easily, which I hadn't felt in ages. Even when funny incidents happened at work, we would laugh in bed about them, if only we could do that all over again.

"Hyun, let's go home, I want to be with you for a long time. And get rid of these clothes.. for another purpose." I winked and smirked at him, before he realised and ran to my car.

"Hey! Chan!" Hyunjin shouted at me, before running and waving. As I turned around while running in the rain, I saw his precious closed-eye smile. His whole body was damp, and his black hair covered right above his eyebrows, and his cheeks were rosy pink. I couldn't help but stop, and open my arms wide open for him to land in my chest and hug me again. 

I pinched myself to check if this wasn't one of those daydreams I would have, then end right before we hugged - only leaving me with scarring a picture of him in my mind. But it was real. I was back with my true love.

I didn't tell him this to make him upset, but I tried to forget him as much as I could, and I slept with multiple guys - but none made me feel as good as he did. 

As soon as got home, we took off our clothes and giggled endlessly on my- now our shared bed.

We reminisced about major and minor events that happened since he left, he even sincerely apologised and hugged me and gave me a peck on the forehead. I almost cried as he had completely changed from his childish self to someone with respect but actual love for me. 

Back then, I thought of him like a friend I could fuck with, he didn't know much about me. But now, 4 years later, he knew me like I knew him. 

'Oh, do I love him..' I thought, staring at the ceiling after a long laugh session.

"You thinkin' bout me?"

"'course I am. You promise to never leave me again, right?" I shifted to the side of the bed, looking up at him, hopefully, waiting for an answer.

"Yes, I promise to stay commited to you, and care for you like you always have. And I will work along your schedule, and even make you paintings of us together." He smiled, and showed me paintings on his phone he made, all in dark colours - portraying guilt, sadness and emptiness. Exactly, how I felt when he left me. A piece of me torn apart.

"Thank you. For everything, Hyun." 

Now, the piece that was missing for so long was finally put together. It was like my love life was a puzzle, that one piece trying to fit in - but it not being able to, until I met him again. 

When I saw him, his dyed-brown hair, pale skin, tall, skinny body and sharp jawline, I ran straight to him as he did too. I was almost drowning in the kiss as I held his hip, then carried my calloused hands softly to his waist. As I tilted my head, our warm tongues tangled together, I brushed the tip of his nose, making us both chuckle as I felt like love overcame me all over again.

I was currently heading to a blissful sleep, Hyunjin placing his arm over my waist as we held each other intimately. And I gently playing with his hair as I heard the slow breaths he was taking, his chest rising and falling slowly. I closed my eyes, no longer replaying the coffee shop moments and only imagining our future dates together. I hugged him tighter as I finally found my new comfort, a forgotten man.

Notes:

thiss is literally the first time, i've tried this style of writing across a fanfiction!! i love fluff as you know, but angst was surprisingly not difficult! also, i'd like to let you all know that, i think my best writing shines through when i write about 950-1300 words (4-6 minutes to read), so mostly all of my chapters will be that amount for any fanfiction i write >3 love you all !!