ΑCT 8

*cringe alert*

Unbelievable. Who did this guy think he was? Bumping into him every time they crossed ways in the corridor. And he wouldn't even apologize. Oh, Jeongin was furious. Not only because of this. San would purposefully make his life a living hell at any chance.

"Get out of my way". "Keep it down". "Don't stomp your feet outside my door". "Don't be a fucking baby". Honestly, having him as a neighbor was more nerve-wracking than training under JYPE. He always complained about "noise", always looked down on him whenever they happened to leave their rooms at the same time, always frowned and scoffed and acted like he was the shit.

"Bastard" Jeongin thought.

The weirdest part was that San treated everyone else differently. Well, not everyone. He was known to be popular with the girls, from what Jeongin had heard, but he didn't give a damn or try to engage in conversation with them. It reminded him a lot of San's past behavior towards him, before he started giving him attention in a negative way.

His members, though. He clearly loved them unconditionally, although they were the ones that spreaded the rumor about him being a player. Hyunjin told him so. What was the case, then? Why did he get to see his worst side, despite his usually calm demeanor? When it came down to it, he should be mad at his members, not Jeongin.

Truth is he wasn't exactly the best of neighbors, either. He had to admit it, he had trouble shutting the fuck up sometimes, especially when he played a new video game he was excited about. But no, screw this, why should he apologize for having some harmless fun?

He walked out of his room and firmly knocked on San's door, determined to put him in his place for good. He waited for 1 minute and then heard the lock turning.

"Who is it...Oh, it's you? What do you want?"

San stood by the door with his hand on his waist and started tapping his foot. Jeongin instantly forgot everything he wanted to say, due to the fact that San was shirtless. He shook his head and composed himself.

"What do I want? No, the question is, what do you want from me?"

"If you're gonna waste my time, just leave, kid."

He began to close the door but Jeongin stopped it with his knee.

"You're not listening. I'm asking you why you're being a bitch to me."

"You don't know? Look at yourself, throwing a fit over nothing."

"It's not <<nothing>>. I'm sick and tired of how you treat me."

"Well, if you behaved less like a five-year-old, maybe you wouldn't get on my nerves all the fucking time."

"Excuse me? I'm the five-year-old here?"

"Are you deaf?"

"Oh, you've had this coming."

Jeongin pushed the door open and punched San in the face. He groaned in pain and covered his bruised nose.

"What the fuck?"

The sound came out muffled because of his hands. "Well deserved" Jeongin thought. San stood straight again after a while and looked at Jeongin for a good second. He then raised his fist, ready to get back at him, but upon seeing how he flinched and closed his eyes to prepare for what was bound to happen, he instictively put it down and sighed.

"I can't do this to you. Not anymore."

Jeongin opened his eyes."What do you mean? Don't you wanna hit me?"

He really, really didn't. San came closer, impossibly close to him, and cupped Jeongin's cheeks.

"I never wanted to hit you."

He leaned in and kissed him. After sensing that Jeongin wasn't reacting, he pulled back and stared at the floor, regretting what he did. He expected Jeongin to start yelling at him, to punch him even harder than before, and he would absolutely deserve it.

"I'm sorry. I-"

"No" Jeongin cut him off. Don't be. Not for this."

San snapped his eyes back at him and watched him as he slowly closed the door and leaned against it, crossing his arms.

"You're going to explain everything."

"Y-yes" San nodded eagerly.

"But after I do this."

Jeongin threw himself at San, who was caught off-guard, and kissed him with angst, grabbing his waist to bring him as near as possible again. San kissed him back and before he knew it, Jeongin was pushing them towards the bed. The atmosphere felt electric, as if there were so many bottled up emotions that begged to be let out. Call it frustration, call it yearning, call it lust, Jeongin was overwhelmed by those emotions and knew there was no other way to express them. He had no idea he felt like that about San. Up until now, he thought he just resented him for his behavior, but turns out he was...heartbroken. Yeah, he hated San as much as he admired him. And there he was, kissing him as if his life depended on it. He couldn't comprehend why San did it in the first place, but he wasn't planning to miss the opportunity.

later

They were lying on the bed. San held Jeongin tightly in his arms, scared he was going to lose him. He spoke up first:

"I don't hate you."

Jeongin looked up at him."Clearly. But please elaborate."

San sat up and pulled him along. The two locked eyes and San took Jeongin's hands in his."When we first moved here, I started...having feelings for you."

Jeongin turned red."Go on."

"But I couldn't accept it, because I was too afraid of what others would think of me. Stupid, I know. I tried to avoid you and never spoke to anyone about it."

"That's true. You did give me the cold shoulder at first."

San sighed."Anyway. After that, a lot of girls in the dormitory started asking me out and all I could think about was you. Then this stupid rumor came up about me being a player and just...I felt sick. I was nothing like that. But I didn't want to admit I liked you, either, because that would shatter everyone's expectations of me."

"I'm sorry, but that sounds straight up ridiculous. Why would you care about their opinion?"

"I-I don't know. Maybe I hadn't come to terms with it myself. The thing is, I thought you had the same opinion about me. And I hated that. All I wanted deep in my heart was to be with you, but I knew you looked down on me."

"That's not even halfway true" Jeongin said.

"It isn't?"

"Not a single chance."Jeongin caressed San's cheek and gave him a warm smile. Then he slapped him."This doesn't explain your behavior, you idiot!"

"Ouch. You're right."

San rubbed his sore cheek.

"I couldn't allow myself to love you, so all I could do was hate you. Or, at least pretend to. All those times when I knocked on your door to <<complain>>, it was an excuse to see you. If it was the only way to be close to you, I was willing to be a total asshole."

"So you were knowingly ruining my life because you liked me and was too scared to come out?"

"Yes. And I'm so fucking sorry. When you came here today, when you punched me, I realised I couldn't hold back anymore. I needed to do something finally."

"So you kissed me."

San smiled and nodded."Even if you hated me, I knew it would be worth it. I...wanted it so bad in the moment."

"Me too"

San froze."What?"

"I don't know, maybe it was the tension, but when you said you couldn't hit me, I felt the urge to kiss you."

"R-really?"

"Mmh. And when I did kiss you, it occured to me that all this time I liked you. So if you ask me, I never looked down on you, I was just furious you treated me like shit."

San couldn't believe it."Y-you liked me?"

"Well, I didn't know back then, but I guess it's true. Considering how I'm in your room right now" Jeongin said, blushing.

"If I had been more honest with myself, do you think this would've happened earlier?"

"Probably. I mean, I wouldn't have a problem with it."

"I...see. Man, I'm so fucking stupid."

Tears began to form in San's eyes and he wiped them off.

"Hey, don't cry" Jeongin comforted him.

"I'm so sorry. I truly am."

"Shhh, it's ok. I'm here, aren't I? We'll solve this."

"B-but I hurt you."

"It doesn't matter now. You opened up to me and you tried to fix it. I forgive you."

He hugged San who was having a full-blown crying session and they stayed like this for a bit.

"San?"

"Yeah?" he sniffed and hugged him tighter.

"Can I be your boyfriend?"

"What?"

"I want us to be together, San."

His face changed a million expressions at once and he kissed Jeongin firmly, grasping his shoulders.

"Of course you can."

They kissed again and again and again, until the oxygen left their lungs.

"But-" Jeongin pushed him away, panting. "We are going to tell this to Hongjoong and Chan."

"Is that necessary?" San frowned.

"If you want us to date freely, yes. I think it's time to show your real self."

"You...you're right. It's probably better to get permission, too."

"Great. Now that's out of the way, come here."

They spent the entire day in San's room, making up for the lost time. There was still so much to learn about each other, and they were determined to get everything right this time.