Chapter 39 - Inmates/ The Grove

With one hand pressed firmly against the stab wound on my stomach and the other holding my knife in my hand, I make my way through the never ending woods. It's been three days since I was kidnapped. After I gained my strength back and did an average job of fixing myself up I drove my way back to the prison. However when I got there, I couldn't believe the sight before my eyes.

The prison was in flames, walkers everywhere. My heart broke all over again at the sight, a million thoughts running through my mind. What happened? Is everyone alive? Is everyone dead? I didn't stay for long, walkers attracted to the first bit of living flesh they'd probably seen in a while. I have no idea what happened, but one things for sure is that I know he would have made it out.

So that's what I've been doing, looking for him. However I didn't know how to track very well, but have been surviving off hunting and finding fruit. I've seen no sign of any other person though, but I know I'll find him. Even if I spend the next fifty years searching, I'll find him.

All of sudden I hear screaming in the distance. I look around, wondering where the noise is coming from when I hear it again. I rush towards the noise, though I'm not fast due to my injuries. I push on through it, still hearing the noise until I hear gunshots much closer. I run towards the noise and pull out my gun when I see a walker converge on some thing. I aim my gun and pull the trigger and the walker falls to the ground. I look up and I see a sight I didn't expect to see.

"Mika?" I ask.

"Bree!" She yells, running forward.

She latches onto me and I grimace at the pain but a large smile comes over my face as I look at her, "My God, I'm so glad I found you."

I look up and see Lizzie walking over to me, Judith in her arms, "Oh thank God!" I breath, pulling the girls into my arms.

I hold onto the three of them tightly when I hear more screaming and Mika looks up at me, "That's Tyreese and Carol."

My heart stops at the sound of his name but I shake it off, "Come on." I say, taking Judith from Lizzie's arms and rushing forward.

We run and we hear some noise. We break through the trees and I turn to see Tyreese bashing in a walkers head, Carol helping him, "Carol! Tyreese!" I call out.

They both turn and look at me, almost as if they have seen a ghost. I barely notice Carol as my eyes land on Tyreese's and I wonder what he is going to do to me.

"Oh my God." Carol breathes, rushing over to me.

"How? How?" Tyreese asks as a smile breaks over his face.

Carol embraces me first, Tyreese hugging us both. I hold my breath as he hugs me, wondering when he will attack. However they both pull back and he just looks at me, "How'd you find us? Where were you? How'd you-" He asks.

He is cut off by the sound of a man weeping and we all turn to look at him, "Stay here girls." Carol instructs as we all go and walk towards him.

"Stay on the tracks. That was my mistake." The man says as he looks around at what I assume is the bodies of his family.

"But the woods have more cover." Carol says.

"No, you don't understand. There's a place, up the tracks. It's safe, you can take the children there." The man says and the three of us exchange a look as Judith plays with my face.

"Trust me. Please. Follow the tracks." The man says.

We all exchange a look before I turn him, "Thank you."

He nods and we all turn, beginning to make our way towards the train tracks. The girls run to us and we begin to walk down the tracks. The last thing we hear as we walk away is the sound of the man weeping over his families body. I stand at the end, keeping my distance from Tyreese. He mustn't know what happened, what I did.

"Tyreese? I didn't run, I didn't leave Lizzie." Mika says to the big man.

He places a hand on her hand, "See there? Tough little lady." He says sweetly.

I walk forward and begin to take off my bag, "Hey, there's some water in there. Some food."

Carol takes off my bag and begins to hand it to the girls and Tyreese turns to face me, "I didn't see you get out. I thought you..." He trails off.

I shake my head and see Carol glance at me from the corner of her eye, "I hadn't gotten back yet. Rick and I found a car, he took what we had back to the prison while I... Kept looking." I say, quickly coming up with the lie.

"Did you see it?" He asks.

I nod my head, "I saw the end and then... I couldn't see anyone."

"Well you've found us now." Carol says, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I smile and nod my head, "Yeah," I say as I look down at the little girl in my arms, "Yeah I did."

"Hey maybe we could circle back and find the car?" Tyreese suggests, walking beside me.

Carol shakes her head, "The walkers and the fire... We can't go back to a grave yard."

Tyreese nods and we continue to walk down the train tracks. My side begins to hurt and I look over at Tyreese, "You mind taking her?"

He nods as I hand her over when I hear Lizzie call out, "Look!"

We all turn and see a sign up ahead and we walk forward to see what it is. On closer inspection its a map, a map of the train tracks. On top is a sign.

"Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive survive." Mika reads out.

We all turn and look at each other, "What do you think?" I ask.

Carol and Tyreese look at each other and Judith moves in my arms, letting out a little cry. I look back up and see them looking at her.

"Yeah, we should go." Tyreese says.

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I sit down on the side of the hill beside the train track with Mika sitting next to me. I hold my hand tightly over the cut on my stomach and I breath through the pain. It's been a day since we've been on the tracks and I feel every movement. Carol and Lizzie walk back into view and she begins to work on Tyreese's arm, putting some sap on it to stop the infection. I take a drink from the water and wince at the feeling of the pain in my side.

"Are you okay?" Mika asks.

I nod my head as I hold onto the wound, "I'm fine sweetheart."

"What happened to your cheek?" Lizzie asks, coming and looking over at me.

I look between the two and I carefully think my words, "I was attacked by a very bad man."

"Why did he attack you?" Mika asks, Judith stirring in her arms.

I look between the two, "He was a man I used to know, before the world became like this. He used to take drugs and that made him become bad. He hurt me a lot."

"What happened to him?" Lizzie asks.

I pause for a moment before looking at them, "I killed him."

Mika's eyes widen while Lizzie looks on in understanding. I hear footsteps and turn to see Tyreese and Carol walking over to me. Carol takes in my position, "Is it still sore?" She asks.

I nod my head and she kneels down, "Lift up your shirt."

Slowly I lift up my shirt and reveal the soiled bandage underneath. She reaches forward and peels it back, revealing a dark purple stab wound underneath. The stab wound is position where my ovary would be.

"It's getting infected." She says.

"Would the tree sap work?" Tyreese asks.

Carol looks at if for a moment, "I'm not sure, it won't hurt to try. I'll also change your bandage." She turns to Lizzie, "Go and get some more sap from the tree." She says, handing the young girl her knife, "Make sure to get a lot too. I want to put some on her cheek."

"Yes Mam." She says, turning and walking away.

Carol turns back and reaches up to my cheek, peeling away the bandage there. Mika looks at is sadly and turns to me, "That bad man, I'm sad that you had to kill him but you didn't deserve this."

Tyreese and Carol exchange a look, but I keep my eyes on Mika, "Thank you Mika."

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"Did Tom Sawyer have a happy ending? We never got to finish it." Mika asks from her spot by Carol.

I walk beside Lizzie in the middle and Tyreese brings up the rear with Judith. Carol looks down at the girl, "Well, Tom and Huck they stop Engine Joe and his partner and they wind up getting all his gold."

"So they wind up rich?" Mika asks with a large smile.

"Mmhmm. And the Widow Douglas adopts Huck." Carol explains.

"Like you adopted us?" The little girl asks.

"Yeah, I'm just like the widow Douglas." Carol says with a smirk.

"And I'm Huck Finn." Mika says with a smile.

"I think your more like Tom Sawyer." Lizzie states and Mika nods, "Yeah, your right. You're way more like Huck Finn. Your not even grossed out by dead rabbits."

"Forgot you used to read to them." Tyreese says.

Carol hesitates before nodding, "Yeah, I did."

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I walk at the front with the girls, Judith asleep in my arms with Carol and Tyreese taking up the rear. As we walk along I begin to smell smoke and I scrunch my nose up.

"You smell that?" Carol asks.

"Yeah, there's a fire somewhere." Tyreese says.

"It must be a big one, it isn't anywhere around here." I say, seeing no smoke anywhere.

"We should stop here, we need to look for water." Carol says.

"No, you need rest and so does Bree. Mika will come help me." Carol states.

We both nod and I turn take a seat down on the edge of the hill, Lizzie and Tyreese sitting beside me. While we wait Lizzie and Tyreese play eye spy together and I can't help but smile. Lizzie has her closed as she thinks before opening them, "I spy trees and weeds." She says sarcastically.

I chuckle and play with Judith as she turns to Tyreese, "Your turn."

He goes to look up the train track when I feel him tense up beside me. I look over and spot a walker making its way towards us from further up the track.

He faces the two of us, "You stay here."

I nod as he gets up and begins walking down the tracks and we both look after him until he disppears out of sight. Lizzie gets up and begins walking off and I get up after her, "Lizzie."

She walks forward until she calls out, "Tyreese!"

He turns and looks back at her, his hammer raised above the walkers head, "Sometimes we have to kill them, I know that. But sometimes we don't."

I stare at her for a long time and Carol's words come back to me from yesterday. Lizzie thinks they're people, she doesn't understand. And Mika can't fight them, she doesn't have a mean bone in her body. They need to learn, to know how to fight and how to rid themselves of walkers. It will take time but we'll get them there. This is a strong group and we'll get stronger.

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We all walk towards the little house that Carol and Mika found on their scavenging. It's nestled in the middle of the woods with a makeshift barbed wire fence around it. It's not too big of a house and it's secluded enough that not many walkers will stumble in on us.

"What are these?" Mika asks, looking at the nuts on the ground.

"Pecans." I smile.

"Oh I love pecans!" She says, bending over and picking them up.

"You know maybe we can catch our breath here awhile? Give both of you the time to heal up." Carol says, beginning to take out one of the fence pegs to let us in.

"We're still going to Terminus right?" Lizzie asks.

"We could just stay a day or two. There's a well full of water, fences. They're not big put they're something. I saw some deers and pecans, we should be able to kill one to eat." Carol explains.

"We can eat these two right?" Mika asks, gesturing to the nuts.

"You can eat your fill and then some." Tyreese smiles.

"Look!" Lizzie says, pointing up to the sky.

We all turn and see brown smoke billowing up into the sky, "I bet you that's what we were smelling. It looks far enough away." I say.

"I wonder how it started?" Mika asks.

"Maybe lightening? Maybe a campfire?" Tyreese suggests, "I can patch that fence."

"It's probably where the deer come in from." Carol says as we begin to walk to the house, "We should leave it. Just play really safe in here."

I turn and look at the girls as we reach the house, "You two stay here with Judith while the three of us go and check out the house."

They nod and I hand Judith to Lizzie before pulling out my knife and making my way up the steps with Carol and Tyreese. He bangs on the door and we wait for a moment before he does it again, no movement from inside.

"If there's one in there, it's not moving. Let's just stay close, move room to room." Carol murmurs, "Girls you sit tight. You don't come in till we come out no matter what you hear."

"Okay." They murmur in agreement.

"Lizzie's got Judith, Mika get out your gun. You're gonna need to stay on watch." Carol instructs.

"Stand strong little lady." Tyreese encourages as she pulls out the weapon.

The three of us turn and make our way inside slowly. We walk into the first room and have a look around, seeing there's no movement. Just as we are about  to leave and move on I hear screaming and gunshot coming from outside. Carol turns and runs for the door, Tyreese and I not too far behind. We run out and see Lizzie on the ground with Judith crying in her arms, Mika's arms outstretched with the gun aimed at the walker.

"Are you okay?" Carol asks, he long Lizzie up who looks at the walker in total shock.

Tyreese and Carol help her up and I wrap my arm around Mika and push her arm down, "You can lower the gun sweetie. You did a good job, you saved them." I say as Tyreese walks away with Judith to calm her down.

Lizzie looks like she's about to burst into tears and Carol faces her, "Are you okay Lizzie? You scared?"

She shakes her head, "No."

"They why are you crying?" I ask.

"I don't want to say." She says, turning and walking over to take a seat on one a lawn chair.

Mika gives us a look before walking over to console her sister. Carol and I exchange a look before I turn and see Mika calming her sister down. I smile at the sight and see how much they care for one another. Lizzie still has her problems, that's for sure. But she'll get better, Mika already is. We just have to give them time. It'll work out.

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We all sit in the living room I front of the fire, Lizzie doing a puzzle and Carol cracking the pecans shells. Judith is asleep in the crib in the room while I lay out on the lounge, hoping to get some rest and enjoy the warmth from the fire. Carol rechecked my wound and the sap seemed to help so she applied more from one of the trees outside. She said my cut will heal but there is going to be a massive scar.

I hear running footsteps and I look over to see Mika run back in the room with a big smile on her face and a doll in hand, "Look what I found. I'm gonna name her Griselda Gunderson!" She says excitedly. She giggles and runs over and sits in front of me on the lounge, showing me the doll.

"Well we got plenty of water." Tyreese says, walking back into the room wiping his hands on a towel, "Now all we gotta do is back one of them deer and we're all set."

"And we'll get one." I say with a smile.

"Yeah." He nods.

He looks taken aback for a moment and Mika looks up at him, "What's wrong?"

"I'm not used to this." He mumbles.

"Used to what?" Lizzie asks from her spot at the table.

"Being in a living room. In a house." He says in awe.

"Yeah, so relax." Mika says and I chuckle, reaching forward and ruffling up her hair.

He giggles before turning back to her doll. Tyreese sinks down into the arm chair and picks up an old magazine and begins to read it while Carol and Lizzie get back to their things. I lay there and look into the fire, feeling myself begin to drift off to sleep.

"We should live here." Mika says suddenly.

I look over at Tyreese and Carol and they smile, which I return. It would be nice, it would be cozy and peaceful. But I can't, I have to find Daryl. But being here for now? I relax back into the couch and close my eyes, relaxing my breathing and drifting off into the most comfortable sleep I've had in the past four days.

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I stand and look into the bathroom mirror and look inspect the cut on my cheek. It's deep, harsh and fiery red colour. It runs for the edge of my mouth to the just before my ear. It sits there as an ugly reminder of everything I've had to deal with. However I stare at it longer, I kind of see it as a good thing. It reminds me of what I can overcome.

"Have you seen Lizzie?" Mika asks, standing in the doorway.

I look over at her, "She told me she was going to play outside." I say.

She nods and turns, making her way out towards the door. Earlier today we had a close call. Lizzie was playing with a walker, parenting like it was her friend. When Carol killed it she screamed and threatened to kill her. Whatever is going on in her mind is deep and scary and I'm afraid of what it will mean for the rest of us if she doesn't get her act together.

Judith cries from her crib and I walk out to go check on her. Carol and Tyreese are out at the moment going hunting. I sit see that she needs her diaper changed and I lift her up out of the crib and begin to change her. Once I get to the end I stand up and hear a screaming from outside. I quickly put Judith in the crib before grabbing my gun and running outside.

"Bree!" I hear Mika yell.

I run outside and see the, crawling through the fence with burnt walkers chasing after them.

"Oh my God." I breath.

Mika is caught and Lizzie tries to pull her out, a walker sneaking up behind them. I shoot it in the head before it can bite her and I hear more gunshots coming from beside me.

"Get behind us!" Carol yells.

They rush off while Tyreese, Carol and myself begin to shoot them down. Suddenly the two girls begin to join in on the shooting and before we know they're all dead. Carol hugs Lizzie and I turn to Mika, "Are you alright?"

She nods and I hug her tightly to me before letting her go. I look over at Lizzie and give her a hug before we all turn and make our way back inside. I glance behind me back at the walker bodies and realise this place isn't as safe as we thought it was, nothing ever is.

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I walk out in the woods with Tyreese and Carol, my eyes looking around the woods.

"The girls like it here. We could find more food, we could find a car for an escape route just in case. If you don't want to go to Terminus we could stay." Carol says.

"Good." Tyreese says.

They turn and look at me and I shake my head, "As much as I would love too. I can't. I gotta find Daryl and I think that's where he would go." I say.

They look at me before they nod their heads in understanding. Tyreese turns and looks at Carol, "It doesn't mean we can't go someday. When we kept getting closer and closer... I was just not ready to be around other people yet."

I nod my head, "You don't have too."

He leans against a tree and stares off into the distance, "I dream about Karen. I see her every night and every time I forget she's dead."

My heart rate increases immediately as images of her burning body come to my mind. I channel these feelings of guilt into a look of empathy as he continues to speak, "Sometimes... I just talk and sometimes I see her in the crowd in a city I've never been too and it's back before everything happened. And then, some nights, I see someone kill her. Some stranger. Than it happens all over again."

I turn away from him, unable to look him in the face. He walks forward, "That's the deal right? The people who are living are haunted by the dead. We are who we are, and we do what we do, cause they're still here. In our heads, in forest, our whole world is haunted now. And there no getting out of that. Not until we're dead."

"Tyreese, maybe they're not haunting us. Maybe... Maybe they're just teaching us. Helping remind us so that we can live with what we have to do." I say, turning and looking at him as a tear runs down my cheek.

"Hey, don't you ever be ashamed of who you are Bree. You've done right by us, you've done rig by everyone." He says.

He pulls me in for a hug and I hold onto him tightly, crying quietly into his chest. I feel Carol place a hand on my back and I pull back and wipe at my eyes, "We should head back."

They nod and we begin the walk back home. When were nearly there Tyreese speaks up, "We'll catch one yet. It's probably not even deer season."

"My husband used to hunt. Told the same stupid joke every year." Carol murmurs.

"You gonna tell it?" I ask.

"Well I guess I have to now right?" She says and Tyreese and I laugh, "You do." He says.

"Okay. What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?" She asks, looking between us two.

We don't have an answer and she laughs, "Beer nuts are around $1.79 and deer nuts are just under a buck."

I roll my eyes as a smile comes over my face, "That is awful."

"That is stupid. But in no way is it stupid good." Tyreese says and Carol laughs, "Told ya. There's more where that came from."

We are inside the property now and we all look up and freeze on the spot, our eyes locked ahead of us. We all rush over and I feel sick to my stomach at the sight before me.

"Don't worry, she'll come back. I didn't hurt her brain." Lizzie says.

Her hands are covered in blood holding a bloody knife. Behind her, Mika's body lies on the ground with stab wounds in her stomach. To the side Judith lies on the blanket, looking around without a care in the world. We all just look on, having no idea what to do.

I see the knife in her hand and I go to grab for it when she drops it and pulls a her gun out on me, "No, no, no! We have to wait. You need to see, you'll finally get it! We have to wait."

"Lizzie, put the gun down." Tyreese pleads.

"I just want to wait!" She cries.

Carol steps forward, "We can wait. We can wait, you just give me the gun. We can wait, I swear." She says, holding out her hand.

Lizzie looks around nervously before slowly handing her gun to Carol. Carol moves the gun away before looking at the girl, "You, Bree and Tyreese should take Judith back, it's not safe for her."

"But Judith can change too. I was just about-" The girl argues.

"She can't even walk yet." Carol says, her voice almost breaking.

Lizzie nods, "Yeah, you're right."

"So you three take Judith back to the house and we can have lunch. And I'll just tie Mika up, you just go. She won't go anywhere." Carol says, trying to placate the girl.

"Promise that's what you'll do?" Lizzie asks and Carol nods her head, "Mmhmm. Promise. I'll use her shoelaces."

I slowly reach down and pick up Judith as Tyreese walks to the young girl, "Let's go Lizzie." He says, leading the way back inside.

I try my hardest not to break down on the spot, instead I keep my composure. There's no denying it now, she can't be helped. She won't ever be able to see them for what they are. And worse thing is that she was willing to kill her own sister. Mika was so kind, loving and gentle. I loved her very much after these few days. Lizzie too. We walk up the steps and I think we all know what we need to do, it's just going to be the hardest thing in the world to do it.

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I sit at the kitchen table across from Carol and stare at the table cloth with a tear stricken face. The house has been silent for a long time now, the only sounds coming from Judith. Tyreese stands up with Judith in his arms, afraid to let her go.

"I brought her some food." Tyreese says, speaking about the young girl, "Cleared out her room. Made sure she did thane any knives, anything like that. She has a shoebox full of mice. I asked her if she was the one feeding the walkers at the prison? That was her." Carol runs her fingers through her hair and I shake my head.

"At the tombs, I found this rat pulled apart and nailed to a board. That was her too. Said she was just having fun." He says sounding freaked out, "I was thinking, may be she killed Karen and David? I don't know how she could drag them away."

I shake my head, "She would have let them turn. It wasn't her."

"So what do we do?" Tyreese asks.

"I could leave with her." Carol suggests, "I can't sleep with her and Judith under the same roof."

"You mean you go out on your own?" I ask.

"She can't be around other people." Carol states.

"Maybe we could try to help her." Tyreese suggests, "Talk her back somehow."

"This is how she is. What's already there. I didn't see it." Carol says brokenly.

"How could you?" I ask and she gets angry, "I should have seen it."

"So maybe we go. Me Judith and Bree." Tyreese suggests and Carol shakes her head, "You won't make it either. She can't be around other people."

I feel tears slide down my cheeks and I wipe at my eyes as I know this will be so hard to do. Carol turns and looks at us, "I'll do it."

"You sure?" I ask, reaching over and taking her hand.

She nods her head sadly, "I have to be the one to do it."

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I sit at the table with Tyreese and Carol, my foot propped up on the edge of the chair as I bite my thumbnail. As I sit here in the grief filled silence, I know what I have to do. I place my hand over the gun in front of me and slide it over in front of Tyreese. They both look at me confused and I look him right in the eye, "I killed Karen and David."

Carols mouth drops open as Tyreese eyes lock on mine in disbelief, "I had to stop it from breaking out and stop people from dying. It wasn't Lizzie, it wasn't a stranger. Tyreese, it was me." I whisper, my voice breaking as tears stream down my face.

Carols hands cover mouth and Tyreese shakes his head, trying to process my words. I take a deep breath before looking at him, "You do what you have to do."

His hands grasp at the table, him shaking is subdued rage and I can't help but feel these are my last moments, "Did she know it was happening? Was she scared?" He asks barely above a whisper.

I shake my head and he finally meets my eyes, "It was quick?"

I nod my head, "Yes."

His hand grips the gun tightly in his palm Carol looks at him frightened but I take a deep breath and look right at him, "Do what you have to do."

He looks lost as confliction covers his face. However he lifts his hand off of the gun and looks me in the eye, "I forgive you."

I look at him in shock, wondering if I have heard him right. He shakes his head, "I'm never gonna forget, and you did it. You feel it, I know you do. It's apart of you know. Me too. But I forgive you."

I look at him and nod my head, "Thank you." I whisper with all of my heart.

"We don't need to stay." He says, turning to Carol, "We can't stay."

Carol nods her head, "Yeah."

"We'll leave in the morning." Tyreese says.

"In the morning." I repeat.