30

You didn't forget his voice. How could you? You hear it all the time - in your sleep, when you're on bed, even when you're working - his voice is everywhere. 

"M...Ma...Mark..." you stutter. "I'm sorry. I really am. You don't have to forgive me. I just...just...SORRY!" That's all you can say, you hang up. 

There are so many things you want to say to him - you're sorry, you treasured every moment you spent together, you miss him, you wish to undo all the wrong things you've done, you want to be with him again, you like him...no, you LOVE him.

But you can't say them, so you hang up. Your phone doesn't ring. He doesn't call back. You conclude he's not concerned anymore. 

Monday morning and you're still feeling like shit. You need to talk to Reno. You need to end things with him and find yourself again. This is all unfair to him. You can't hide in his arms anymore. 

"Reno?" Your heart beats faster and your palms get sweaty as you enter his office. 

"Hey there, princess." He stands up from his seat and hugs you. He notices the look on your face and he frowns. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"We need to talk," It might not be the right place or the right time, but you have to get it out of you. 

"What's up? Did anything happen?" You can see panic in his face. 

You take a chair and signal him to take the other in front of you. You take a deep breath and the look in his eyes want you to just forget about what you're about to say. But, NO. You have to do this - for him....for you. 

"You know I like you, right?" Tears are starting to form in your eyes but you fight it back. The expression on his face tells you that he has an inkling on what's coming up. His lips turn down to a frown and his eyebrows furrow. You close your eyes and continue. "The past week...no...the past months, you were always there for me. You've picked me up when I fell." 

He puts his head on his hands, realizing now what is going to come out of your mouth. Your heart drops as you see tears from his eyes. 

"You still love him?" His voice is weak. 

"I don't know." Now your tears come down, too. "What I know is, I can't do this to you. I'm being unfair."

"I don't care if you don't love me yet, Bel. I'm willing to wait." His begging face doesn't make it easier for you. He grabs your hands and puts them on his lips. 

"I'm sorry." You put your arms around him and cry on his shoulders. "I'm sorry, Reno. I tried to forget him through you. But, it's hard. I'm sorry."

His arms are hugging you tight. He doesn't want to let go, you can feel it. Both your shoulders are wet from each other's tears. 

Finally, he speaks again, "Are you going back to him?" 

You release your arms around him, look down at your feet and shake your head. "I can't."

You take an envelope from your bag and hand it to him. 

"NO, Bel." He pushes the envelope back, knowing what's in it. "You can break up with me if you want. But, I know how you love this place. You can't leave now." 

"I have to." You can't work with him. Guilt will just pull you down. You need time away from everything. 

"You can come back anytime, Prin....Bel." 

You stretch your legs under the sun. The waves hit your toes as they come crashing to the shore. The white sand beneath you feels warm on your back. Four days in Palawan and you're already well-tanned. Just last week, you were in Tibet taking pictures of the beautiful mountains there. The week before that, you were in New Delhi. 

It's nice to go around and see the picturesque views of different parts of Asia. You feel free just roaming around, backpacking. Nobody knows you, nobody cares what you do. You just enjoy taking pictures and knowing the culture. 

Your mind starts to clear up. You smile at yourself proudly. This is what you've needed. Thanks to your dad and stepbrother, who sponsored your trips, you're able to let loose. 

"Miss," a woman stands beside you, blocking the light of the sun, "Miss Park?

"Yes?" You sit up and put down your shades. 

"You've got a call from your brother in South Korea."

You didn't bring your phone with you to the beach, so you're brother must have called the hotel.

"Ok, thanks." You stand up and sling your camera on one shoulder. 

You walk to the receptionist and she hands you the phone with a smile. 

"Uh, Oppa. Why?"

"I've been calling your phone. Where are you?"

"At the beach." 

"Anyway, I'll be seeing you there tomorrow." He sounds really excited. 

"What? You get a vacation?" You're happy, too. You haven't been on a vacation with JB for the longest time. 

"Not really. Well, we have a mini-concert in Manila the day after tomorrow. So, I decided to come see you first before the event."

"Really?" The receptionist and some people near you glare at you because of your now loud voice. "Oh my God. I can't wait." 

After hanging up the phone, you run to your hotel room and shower. The thought of spending the whole day tomorrow with your brother excites you. 

You hug your stepbrother really tight when you see him enter the hotel. You haven't seen him for a month and you've really missed him. 

"Ouch...can't breathe.." he says, chuckling. 

"I'm sorry," you giggle as you loosen your hold on him. But, you still leave your hand on his waist. 

"I miss you, too," he pinches your cheeks. 

You stroll down the beach in the morning, try the jet ski and paragliding. The seafood lunch gave you more energy for the afternoon activities. You go to the underground river and tried scuba diving. 

You were both exhausted when you get back to the hotel for dinner. 

"This is one hell of a vacation," he says, filling his mouth with the native food. 

"I hope we can do this more often. Do you still have the energy for a party tonight?" Beach parties are the best and you want him to experience it with you.

He pretends to think, "Of course, silly. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

The bar near the beach was already crowded when you get there. Shirtless hunks and girls in skimpy bikinis dance like crazy to a band playing on a small make-shift stage. 

"Do you really have to wear that?" JB complains at your sexy outfit. He notices some men eyeing you with interest. 

"Don't be a jealous brother, just go and talk to those ladies eyeing you since we got here." You push him towards the girls who giggle when JB approaches them. 

The night was wild, tequila body shots here and there. JB seems to be enjoying licking the salt from the girl's bare shoulder before dunking the shot. 

Already tipsy, JB sits beside you at the bar. 

"Having fun yet?" You tease him.

"Much." He orders beer and drinks it immediately. "You're coming to our concert tomorrow, right?" Out of the blue, he asks you. 

"I don't know, oppa. I think I'm gonna enjoy the sun here more."

"YOU ARE! And you're coming back to Korea with me after the concert." His stern voice cuts through the loud music. "Besides, you need to find a job. You're leaving me bankrupt, Bel."

You didn't ask him to pay for all of your trips, he volunteered. Why is he complaining now?

"Ish...you miser." You scowl at him. 

"You come with me to Manila tomorrow."

"No."

"Stop being a brat. YOU WILL BECAUSE I SAID SO."

"Ugh. Do I have a choice." You know he'll drag you if he needs to. 

"Besides, I've already set you up for an interview for Monday."

"What?"

"A friend told me about this new studio and they're looking for photographers. So, I recommended you."

"Thanks." But, you're not ready to live your vacation galore yet. You're having too much fun. 

He sees your pouting lips, "Lazy ass." You pout at him even more. 

"You need another shot, beautiful?" A tall, hot hunk whispers near your near. He's just standing beside you and you eye his perfect body. 

"Oh no. She's taken." JB puts his arm around your shoulder and smirks at the guy. After the guy left, eyeing JB fiercely, JB says, "What did I tell you about one-night-stands?" 

"It was JUST a drink," he really can be annoying sometimes. 

The plane to Manila only took a little more than hour. You still have a hangover from last night and you feel like hurling when you're meet by the hot, sticky air of the city. 

You go straight to the hotel because even he can't eat. He's already booked a room for you, the same floor as theirs. He leaves you there, slumped on the bed. He needs to go to the concert hall for their practice. You pity his tired body as he drags it out the hotel. 

You sleep the whole day, only to wake up and call room service. It's already past four in the afternoon when you finish eating. Your head isn't throbbing anymore, but it still feels heavy. 

Your brother's concert starts at six. You need to get there before the hall would be full. 

Your lucky people don't know you as JB's sister. You make your way through the crowd to your seat at the second tier. As you take your seat, the light dims, signaling the start of the concert. Howls from fans around you fill the hall. 

The screen on stage lights up and the roar gets even louder. JB's face comes up first. Then Mark's.