Chapter 15: The Hero

Katrina wasn't sure how long it had been since the fight, but she knew one thing. Loki was going to be stopped, and she wasn't going to stop until he was. The light in her eyes hadn't dimmed since before and her veins still burned bright underneath her skin. It felt chaotic and uncontrollable. All she wanted was to let it out, but she knew that that wouldn't end well for anyone. Loki was the much more deserving target of her wrath, so she forced herself to bury it for now, just like she always did. The only upside was with all of that power came along with expedited healing, so her concussion and bruising around her neck were gone. The only thing that remained was the dried blood caked on her skin and the lasting feeling of Loki's grip on her.

She sat at the round table in the bridge amongst the rubble and destruction as well as her Fury, Steve, and Tony. Kat sat between her two fellow Avengers, still looking rough, ignoring the concerned looks from just about everyone in the room. Instead, her gaze stayed glued to her hands and the occasional flicker of color would surface, making her heart jump, scared that she wouldn't be able to hold it together.

Suddenly, familiar cards flew across the table towards her and the other two, landing right in front of her. The blood that stained them smeared across the table, still fresh. A whole new wave of shock rolled through her body as she picked one up, the red substance staining her fingertips as she gently cleaned the front of the trading card. Then Fury began to speak.

"These were in Phil Coulson's jacket. Guess he never did get you to sign them." He started, directing the statement at Cap. "We're dead in the air up here. Our communications, location of the cube, Banner, Thor. I've got nothing for you. Lost my one good eye. Think I had that coming." Fury continued, walking around the table. "Yes, we were going to build an arsenal with the Tesseract. I never put all the chips on that number, though, because I was playing something even riskier. There was an idea, Stark and Hart know this, called the Avengers Initiative." The Director stepped up behind Kat's chair, resting his hands on the back of it. "The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people, see if they could become something more. See if they could work together when we needed them to, to fight the battles that we never could."

He hesitated for moment and Kat could feel his stare burning into the back of her skull. "Phil Coulson died still believing in that idea, in heroes."

Abruptly, Katrina snatched some of the cards from the table and stormed out of the room, Tony following in her footsteps a second later.

"Kat...Katrina, wait!" The billionaire called out to her but, in a flash, she was gone, leaving a wispy trail left in her wake.

All of it was too much. She wasn't in control anymore. Not of the situation, not of herself. Absolutely nothing. And she had no clue how to go on. Not in the mission and not in life.

She lost a piece of her family, and what felt like a literal piece of herself. It was as if a piece of her soul was dull and dead, gone for good. No getting it back.

The power inside of her pounded and begged to be released, but with this amount of energy, she was sure it wouldn't just leave a dent. She had a feeling that the ship would be done for if that happened. So, with everything she had, she pushed it down once again like she had multiple times that same day, tucking the card inside one of her interior chest pockets and zipped it up.

A strangled cry echoed as she leaned against the wall. Her grief, pain, and restraint piling up and it wouldn't be long before it broke her.

But first, she needed to find Natasha. She couldn't bear to lose anyone else, and she needed to be sure of that.

~

"Clint, you're going to be alright." Natasha soothed as she watched her best friend struggled against his restraints, his breathing heavy. He laid on one of the cots in the medical bay after she and him had battled it out while he was under Loki's control. Though she had been able to knock him out of it.

"You know that?" Clint chuckled weakly, "Is that what you know? I've got to go in though. I have to flush him out."

Natasha shook her head, "You've got to level out, it's going to take time."

"You don't understand. Have you ever had someone take your brain and play? Pull you out and stuff something else in? You know what it's like to be unmade?" He spoke, letting his head fall back against the mattress.

"You know that I do." Nat replied sitting in one of the chairs.

There was a moment of silence before Clint asked, "Why am I back? How did you get him out?"

"Cognitive recalibration." She stated simply before she was cut off by another voice to both Natasha and Clint's surprise, much higher and younger sounding.

Kat stepped out from behind the doorframe, she looked as though she could collapse at any moment. She swayed back and forth, her eyes wide and alert, maybe a bit too much. Neither of the adults could help but think that she looked like literal hell. "I believe that means she hit you really hard in the head." She simplified with a weak and forced smile as she walked up to his bed and undid the restraints before sitting next to him, staring at the floor.

She hadn't known that Clint was even back, let alone back to his normal state. She wanted to hug him, to cry, to just stay there with the two of them, but there wasn't time, neither could she afford letting her guard down. Kat knew that the minute that she relaxed, she would crumble. That couldn't happen. Not now.

"Kat?" Natasha whispered, having never seen the girl in such a state. She was still young, yes, but she was broken. And Nat didn't know how to help.

"Don't. Please, don't," was all that Kat could say, her voice hoarse as she bit down on her bottom lip. She hadn't said a word since it happened and even the small talk was enough to make a slight crack appear in her demeanor and a mist to settle over her eyes.

Much to both of their dismay, the two adults exchanged a glance and decided to oblige. "Natasha, how many agents?" Clint wondered, an ashamed expression on his face.

"Don't. Don't do that to yourself, Clint." Nat insisted, "This is Loki. This is monsters and magic and nothing we were ever trained for."

"Loki. He get away?" Clint asked, neither of the two missing how the young girl prickled at the name, fists clenched tightly.

Natasha's head cocked to the side, "Yeah. I don't suppose you know where?"

Clint shook his head, "Didn't need to know. Didn't ask. He's going to make his play soon though. Today."

"We've got to stop him." The woman spoke as she walked towards the door.

"Yeah? Who's we?"

"I don't know. Whoever is left."

"Well, if I put an arrow through Loki's eye socket, I'd sleep better I suppose." Clint admitted.

"Now you sound like you." Natasha added with a small smile.

"But you don't. You're a spy, not a soldier." Clint pointed out, "Now you want to wade into a war. Why? What did Loki do to you?"

"He didn't, I just—"

"Natasha." Clint sighed, knowing better than to believe that that was the whole truth.

"I've been compromised. I got red in my ledger. I'd like to wipe it out."

"I'm in." Kat interjected.

The darkness in the girl's tone of voice shocked the both of them. It was startlingly different from the light and cheery Katrina they were used to.

"Kat, as much as you want to, I don't think you're in the right head-spac—" Natasha started but wasn't able to finish.

Kat abruptly stood up, finally looking the woman in the eye, accidentally revealing the tears and the lights that danced angrily within her own. "You're not keeping me out of this, Nat! This is my fight now too...Coulson is dead." She choked, sniffling slightly, swiping at her bloodied nose with the back of her sleeve. "Loki killed him... He has taken too much...from everyone, and I can't let him get away with that! I won't!"

Both of the adults could hear the tidal wave of emotion bubbling up to the surface, "I was there, and I hesitated...I watched as Loki took that god-damn scepter and stabbed Coulson through the chest with it. I watched as the life left his eyes and I was too weak to do anything..." She trailed off, "I hesitated, and Coulson paid the price. I'm not doing that anymore! I'm not letting anymore people get hurt because of my mistakes." Kat finished with a whisper.

Clint slipped his hand into Kat's, prying her fingernails from her now bleeding palms and bringing her back down to sit with him. He could feel her shaking like a leaf as he gently rubbed her back trying to calm her down. "Kat—"

"I can't..."

And there it was, the crack. With that, everything crumbled right on top of her and onto her shoulders, adding even more to the weight that she couldn't seem to shake. A cascade of tears flowed down her face with her not even aware. The drops landed on her palms as everything surfaced, including the power that was desperate to be released. It was like a fire had been set underneath her skin, more powerful than she had ever felt before.

"It hurts...Everything hurts..." She sobbed, beginning to hyperventilate, slowly bringing her legs into her chest. "It feels like I'm being ripped apart from the inside. And I can't make it stop! Why won't it stop?"

Clint and Natasha looked at each other, not exactly sure what to do. They couldn't tell if it was the heartache of losing Coulson, or something was actually, in fact, wrong. Truthfully, just by looking at her physical appearance, it was obvious she was hurt, whether it had a physical cause or not. They had seen her grow up and they knew her tendencies and mannerisms too well to not see the signs. It was clear that the healed injuries still ached. The dried and now dark blood from both herself and Coulson still stained her hands and around her nose. Her multicolored eyes were swollen, the skin underneath them tinged with red and purple over her sickly pale complexion.

"I don't think I can control it." Kat whimpered, gazing down at her trembling hand, letting the others see the real intensity of her powers.

"Hey, yes you can. You can control it." Clint insisted, covering both of her hands with one of his. "Focus on this, right now."

"I can't. I've been trying and nothing's working!" Kat cried.

Clint brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, kissing the side of her head and whispering into her hair, "Then. Try. Again. Close your eyes, ignore everything else, and just breathe."

And that's what she did. Deep breaths in and out. In and out.

Eventually, her shaky breathing steadied a bit and Nat walked to the bathroom to grab a wet clothe to clean the blood. All of Kat's emotion quickly turned into frustration. Not with Loki or anything else, but with herself. This was immature, childish. Weak.

Letting out a grunt, she pushed the heels of her palms into her eyes and aggressively wiped her tears away.

"Pick your head up, Katrina." Clint ordered, "Pick your head up and look at me."

Exhaling, her cheeks puffing out, letting the air blow a strand of hair away from her face. Her head then whipped up to meet his gaze.

"It's okay to feel what you're feeling. We'll figure it out, I promise." He whispered, pressing her forehead against her's. "But, right now, you need to be here."

"I'm sorry. This is so pathetic. This is weak, I'm supposed to be strong." She apologized, a new wave coming over her.

"You are strong. This is a moment of weakness; you are not weak. There's a difference, Kat." Clint insisted, "You are so powerful...that's what you're feeling. That power that's inside you... but you're pushing it down. You can't push it down; you need to feel it... because it's a part of you."

All she could do was nod as he continued, "Your body knows what to do, you just need to trust yourself."

She took one last breath and let her body relax as much as she could. It took some concentration, but after a moment, her shoulders dropped. Her forehead uncreased and her feet landed back on the floor, eyes closed once again.

Clint felt her shaking halt as she took one last deep breath, hesitantly exhaling. Suddenly, her skin gave off a strong, pure white glow that subsided after a moment. The colorful veins that popped underneath her skin did the same.

He watched in awe as the girl's eyelids peeled back to reveal the same pure white glow overwhelming the already intense one within her irises and spread across her eyes. And just as before, after a brief moment, it all subsided. Well, almost everything.

Her body felt stronger than it ever had before, and so did her abilities, but there was still a gaping hole inside of her. But she didn't feel as if she would explode. For the first time in days, she felt in control. She felt like she could finally do something.

That she could finally be the hero that Coulson wanted her to be.

"Thanks, Clint." She whispered, sending him a soft smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck a few last tears being shed and dripping onto Clint's vest.

"My pleasure. Love you, kid." Clint replied, squeezing her tightly.

"I love you too. I missed you."

"Missed you too, Kat."

Authors Note: Oh my god, thank you so much everyone for the 100 reads. This means the world to me. I was really nervous posting this book, and Katrina means so much to me. She was my first solid character that I ever created and I have so much planned for her that I'm excited to show all of you. 

My mind has been absorbed in writing this book and putting together the rest of the series for years. Even before I knew what fanfiction or even what Wattpad was. It used to keep me awake for hours every night coming up with new ideas for her. And for all of you to read it now that the first book is posted is so special. I know I've said all of this tons and tons of times, over and over again, but it seriously does mean so much.

And to the people who commented, thank you so much. I love talking to you guys. I don't get to talk about it much at home or with friends, so the get to share the emotion is incredible. So, thank you. :)