Part 52

Coco knew exactly what they were going to see at the movie theatre. Ryan had been excited about it since she'd seen the trailer. And then people were talking about it all over Instagram and TikTok so Coco wasn't surprised when Ryan asked her to go to the movies.

Ryan had been trying to be a better friend over the past weeks, actually checking up on her best friend and making sure she was there for her. Sometimes it felt like Coco lived a completely different life to her since they'd gone to college. They were both finding a place inside of each other's lives and Ryan didn't want to neglect their friendship.

The two stood in the queue, and Ryan asked Coco more about her life and what she was up to. But, the taller girl didn't have much to say so eventually the conversation shifted back to Ryan and her "old lady."

"Stop calling her that," Ryan rolled her eyes, the buttery scent of popcorn surrounding them.

"She's double your age Ry," Coco continued to remind her.

"She's young and hot," Ryan giggled.

"She's old and okay looking," Coco said and Ryan gave her a look. "Fine she's hot but she's still old."

"Whatever, she makes me happy."

Coco looked at her irritated because why would she say that when she was trying to talk shit? "You're annoying," she laughed and Ryan laughed too. "You decided if you're gonna go stay with her?" She asked. It had been another week of this back and forth with Ryan still undecided on whether to go.

There wasn't much of the summer left but Ryan could still go if she wanted to.

"I think so," Ryan said. "Brooke's gonna be mad about it though."

Coco laughed. "She was always gonna be mad, you're literally sticking your fingers in her mother every other night."

Ryan groaned, "it's not that deep bro."

"I dunno," she grabbed Ryan's hand. "How long are your fingers?"

"What is wrong with you?" Ryan burst out laughing for the second time.

"I'm just saying," Coco laughed still looking at her fingers.

"Say something else."

"You ever used a strap-on?" Coco asked, lowering her voice.

"Yeah," Ryan said swallowing. Coco was the only one who didn't make her too awkward when talking about this type of stuff.

Ryan tried not to think of how good she felt when Beyoncé was beneath her yearning for more. There was something about watching the taller and older woman be so desperate for her, sweat droplets on her skin, eyebrows upturned as her breath hitched. She had to feel that again.

"Really?" Coco asked, eyes wide and sparkling.

"Mhm why you so curious?" Ryan rolled her eyes, trying to push aside the memories of Beyoncé panting in her ears.

"No reason," Coco immediately stuffed her hands in her pockets, a tell-tale sign that there was more to her questions. Ryan's eyes lit up curiously but then they were at the desk, buying popcorn and scanning tickets.

Ryan would definitely be asking about that after the film. It didn't take them long to get situated in front of the big screen and for the movie to start.

It was almost a perfect horror movie - actually having them both on the edge of their seats. And even the jump scares had Coco clutching Ryan. The movie was scary enough to have Ryan grinning from ear to ear when they left the theatre.

Coco teased her for being crazy but Ryan didn't care. They spent the rest of the day together, getting food and catching up with each other. Things were always easy with Coco.

Ryan got home to see Chloe and Zendaya on the sofa when she got home. "Hey y'all," she said. Zendaya and Ryan had always gotten along, Zendaya being her favourite roommate when Brooklyn was acting up which seemed to be all the time now.

"Hey," they both said in unison.

"How did it go?" Ryan asked taking off her jacket.

The two exchanged a look. They were having a strange day, most of which had been spent driving to and from Chloe's family home.

"I don't know," Chloe said. She'd been so sure before they left. "They're gonna love you," Chloe had told Zendaya before they opened the door. She said it with the confidence of someone who loved Zendaya. Chloe thought if they just met her they'd understand why she loved her so much. Zendaya was amazing. She was kind and she was funny and she was hard not to get along with. Everyone liked her... even homophobes.

The weather had even been good, the clouds far in the distance and the sky itself was her favourite shade of blue.

But they hadn't loved her.

They didn't hate her either. But it wasn't the welcome she had expected. She'd even told Zendaya to hand her mom the flowers — vibrant chrysanthemums with purple sea lavenders. But the whole thing was awkward.

Even when they sat to eat, everything had been uncomfortable. It was like they didn't want to speak about it but they also didn't want to speak about anything else.

"I guess I should be grateful it wasn't bad," Chloe shrugged. Zendaya continued to watch tv, placing a short kiss on Chloe's forehead.

"Maybe it'll get less awkward with time," Ryan offered.

"Maybe," Chloe said. "I don't know if I wanna put Zen Zen through that again though."

Zendaya rolled her eyes, "stop calling me that," she blushed. "But don't worry about me. I'm going if you're going."

"Ryan please tell her it's a cute name," Chloe said looking up at Zendaya.

"I'm staying out of this," Ryan laughed.

"Ryan!" Chloe gasped.

"See, it's cringe," Zendaya said feeling validated.

"Whatever, she probably got worse nicknames for Brookes mom."

"Oh my godddd," Ryan rolled her eyes as far back as they could go. She was honestly surprised no one had teased her about it yet.

"No for real, do you be calling her Brooke's mom in bed? Like ahhh it's so good Brooke's m—" Zendaya was cut off when a couch cushion flew into her face.

Chloe burst out laughing. "What's her actual name though?"

Ryan tried to hide her smile but she'd never really had much opportunity to talk about Beyoncé. "Beyoncé. She goes by Bey sometimes."

"Ooh that's pretty."

"Right," Ryan grinned. "I think it's like a family name or something. Her middle names Giselle. I think Brooke has it too."

"Yeah she does. That's so weird. You think she's gonna give her kid the same middle name?"

They both shrugged bringing the conversation back to Ryan and Beyoncé. "Did you just ask her out or what?"

"She wants tips for when she leaves me," Chloe rolled her eyes.

"Shut up."

"I don't know, it just kind of happened to be honest," Ryan said. "It was like when we met it was just... I dunno, you know that feeling?"

They both nodded.

"Yeah and then we just kept talking and—"

"Oh y'all were fucking?"

Ryan's smile was almost too wide for her face.

"Ayy," Zendaya leaned over dapping her up. "How did I miss that?"

Ryan shrugged smiling, "you thought it was just a crush."

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Saturday came around and Ryan decided to stop overthinking and just go see Beyoncé. She missed her even if she was telling herself not to.

She wanted to surprise her so she booked her own flight, using the money Beyoncé had given her for outfits a couple days ago. She'd told her she didn't need money, but Beyoncé only listened up to a certain point when it came to things like that.

Ryan wasn't as anxious as she'd been every other time she flew. Usually, she panicked a lot more but this time she was able to regulate herself. To an extent it did feel like she was going home. She knew Beyoncé would be happy to see her so she was excited to get there.

Ryan figured maybe she could just hide away from Brooke and stay in Beyoncé's room all day.

She wanted to take Beyoncé on a date again though. She thought it would be nice especially now that it was summer and there was more to do. They could both wear something short and matching. They'd never done that before.

Ryan actually wanted to treat her. The taller woman had been so patient even though Ryan could tell it was killing her and she missed her every day. Ryan decided to show up with flowers and a packet of those sour skittles. Since Beyoncé had liked the flowers so much last time.

But when she got to the house no one was home. She'd had to call twice before Beyoncé answered and Ryan could immediately tell something was wrong.

"What happened?" She asked.

Beyoncé's breathing was shallow as she responded, "Brooke— the baby."

"Shes having the baby?" Ryan asked.

Beyoncé nodded but Ryan couldn't see her through the phone. She swallowed before she was able to utter, "baby's here."

"What hospital are you at Bey? I'll come if you want."

Ryan hung up soon after and made her way to the hospital. She tried to get Beyoncé to text her but the woman clearly had other things on her mind. Ryan just couldn't tell what was going on and why she seemed so panicked.

Brooklyns baby came into the world at exactly 1:04 in the afternoon. The baby was healthy and weighed 7.5 pounds making it the exact average weight for a newborn. Brooke, however, had lost a lot of blood. She had to have a c-section which then turned into a bigger surgery.

Beyoncé panicked, pacing and praying the entire time. She just wanted her baby girl to be okay. So she walked around the room, holding the newborn and waiting for the doctors to bring Brooklyn back to her.

Ryan had called in the middle of that pacing as Beyoncé held on tight to the baby telling it to pray for its mommy.

Beyoncé couldn't cope if anything happened to her baby.

Then finally after 30 minutes, doctors wheeled Brooklyn back into the room. She wasn't awake yet, the doctor explained but she should wake up soon and she would be fine.

Beyoncé finally exhaled and put the baby down into the bassinet and walked over to Brooklyn.

She blamed herself for not taking Brooke to the hospital earlier, and worried about what would've happened if she'd come any later. If they hadn't been arguing, she wondered if she would've taken her earlier. But she said none of that, instead just walking towards her baby.

Ryan had got there while they were still waiting to hear about Brooke, and found Levi's Instagram to let him know what was happening. She asked if Beyoncé had anyone else she wanted to tell, but Beyoncé just shook her head silently and closed her eyes. Shawn should be there but she didn't want him there. She'd tell the rest of her family later.

Brooke looked so peaceful, somehow aged between then and yesterday. Now she was a grown woman, a mother, she was responsible for two. Beyoncé stroked her hair kissing her little girl and thanking God she was okay.

Brooke looked so calm, as if she didn't know the turmoil of motherhood that awaited her. But it was all coming back to Beyoncé — how to be maternal, how to care for a baby.

Then the baby made a noise and Ryan finally looked over at it. The baby was beautiful. It didn't look like an alien like Beyoncé had worried it might. It looked cute like an almost formed human being who was about to sprout wings and declare itself a gift to the world.

The baby was darker than Brooke, skin closer to Levi's but still untouched by the sun. Ryan was the first to truly appreciate the baby that Brooke had given birth to. It was a real person that looked like some mixture of Beyoncé and Brooklyn and their family, and then also Levi. The baby had Brookes eyes.

Ryan just stood watching and admiring the baby, afraid to touch it, in case it meant something. She didn't want to be the second person to hold Brooke's baby — that belonged to Brooke. And then finally Brooke was opening her eyes.

"Brooke!" They both moved their attention to her at the same time. Ryan got up to look at Brooke. The other girl might've been mad at her but she could be mad as long as she was okay.

Brooklyn frowned groggily looking at her surroundings. Beyoncé started crying which only confused Brooke more and she looked at Ryan for an explanation.

"Um you had the baby," Brooke's eyes grew wide and Ryan explained everything that happened and then gestured to the bassinet.

"Can I hold him?" She asked and Ryan wheeled the baby over so Brooke could see the baby she'd just given birth to. Beyoncé was too emotional to help and Ryan ended up lifting the baby up to hand to her.

Levi showed up not too long after, stroking Brooke's face and holding his baby. Beyoncé was so quiet, just wiping tears and telling Brooke she loved her.

Ryan was the practical one, making sure everyone ate, and asking the doctors if they needed to know anything. She even called Solange and asked her to tell Angie since she felt awkward about being the one to tell everyone. Beyoncé took a while to get back to herself, all her emotions coursing through her body in a rush.

Eventually, the long day was over and Beyoncé and Ryan left Brooke and Levi in the hospital with the baby.

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"Ry you didn't have to do all that, I would've done it." Beyoncé said when they finally lay down together in bed, Ryan's cotton pyjama set relaxing on top of Beyoncé's silk pyjamas.

"I know but I wanted to help," the younger one said. It was really nothing. Everyone else was wrapped up in the emotion of a new baby. She didn't mind being responsible if it meant letting them have their moment.

"You're so sweet," Beyoncé said, stroking the back of her hand over Ryan's cheek as Ryan's dark brown skin rested on her beauty marked body.

Ryan shrugged. But Beyoncé saw what it represented. She felt something deeper tug within her.

"The flowers were nice too," Beyoncé added remembering the bouquet she had placed in the vase of the hospital room.

"They were for you but- oh wait!" Ryan hopped up ruffling through her purse. "I got you something else too."

"What?" Beyoncé laughed, wondering what Ryan was about to pull out.

A slow smile spread across Ryan's face, "close your eyes," she said. Beyoncé did as told, awaiting her gift.

"And open your mouth," Ryan said causing a frown to settle between Beyoncé's brows.

"Uhn uhn I don't wanna do that," she spoke.

"Please mama," was all Ryan had to say to get her to do it. Beyoncé had no choice, and she was practically salivating now, hoping Ryan would just sit on her face or surprise her with a kiss.

Then she felt a small hard candy shell enter her mouth. She smirked immediately recognising it and chewing. "You gave me a pink one," she chuckled opening her eyes and chewing.

"Couldn't have your ex outdoing me," Ryan grinned and they lay in bed sharing the skittles and talking. Neither of them were really in the mood to do anything else until Beyoncé spoke, her arm falling from its spot wrapped around Ryan.

"I'm sorry that... the timing is bad," she admitted.

Ryan hummed, "it's not your fault." She'd literally spent her entire day in a hospital.

Beyoncé let a smile reach her lips but not her eyes. "I want you here but you don't have to stay, I know it's probably gonna be a lot. You can go home if you need to."

Ryan smiled, also not reaching her eyes and took a breath, "it is a lot." She agreed. She had thought about Beyoncé a lot over the month. She had missed her, still did, but now Beyoncé's child had a baby.

Everything would change.

Everything. She knew Beyoncé was going to be there for Brooke and the baby. For anything they needed. Ryan knew that. Beyoncé would always be there for Brooke. That was just how Beyoncé was.

"You don't have to stay honey," Beyoncé repeated.

Ryan sighed, a shimmer forming in her eyes. "I know," she said. Her heart pounded in her chest. "But what if..." she trailed off thoughtfully. What if she did stay? What if she didn't?

Moonlight trickled in through the blinds and a flicker of hope passed over Beyoncé's face. But then Ryan swallowed, her neck bobbing as her eyes closed. "I don't know," she finished.

"It's okay honey, you don't have to decide right now," Beyoncé's left hand started to tap her fingers against each other. "You know I want you here but I understand..."

Ryan hummed. They lay in silence, just listening to the darkness and each other's breath. The sky was pitch black outside and the main light in the room was from a bedside LED lamp that Beyoncé had dimmed. Another minute passed before anyone spoke.

"You're older than me," Ryan exhaled, unsure where she was going with this conversation.

"I am," Beyoncé replied, also unsure where this was going. Ryan was never the one to bring that up, it was always Beyoncé lamenting over her responsibility in this. How wrong was she to start a relationship like this? "Much older," she added as if it was a question — what did that mean to Ryan? What did it mean for them? What should it mean? Did it matter? Could they control if it mattered? How it mattered?

"Mm," Ryan hummed, pressing her lips to Beyoncé's cheek. Ryan didn't think about their age gap much, it was always other people bringing it up not her. But even if she didn't think about it, Beyoncé was still older than her.

"I love you though," Ryan said.

Beyoncé chuckled, breathing through her nose. "I love you too," Beyoncé felt the weight of her words. They both did. "You ever think about your parents? I don't know if they'd approve of us." Beyoncé said it like a passing comment but deep down, it was something she worried about.

Ryan looked away. It had crossed her mind once or twice. Her parents would have an issue for sure. But they always did. Everything was an issue to them.

"Doesn't matter," she sighed as her fingers found the top of Beyoncé's pyjama top.

The older one looked down at Ryan, who was fiddling with the button as if deciding whether to pop it open. "Are you sure honey? It's okay if it does."

Ryan just shrugged. They would never approve of anyone she loved. They might have a bigger issue with Beyoncé but they'd have an issue with anyone so she chose not to worry about it.

"I don't think they'll care," she said after thinking for a second.

Beyoncé looked at her with narrowed eyes. "Baby," she said concern laced in her voice. Did they really not care about Ryan enough to ignore something like that? Beyoncé couldn't imagine that...

Then Ryan popped the button on her pyjamas. And then the next one. And the next. And then she placed her mouth on Beyoncé's breast.

The older one let out a moan. "Honey I-" her head fell back. She was, for once, too tired for sex. It had been such a long day.

Ryan smirked and then pulled away causing Beyoncé's breath to hitch. "I just like sucking them," she said, resting back.

Beyoncé's hand reached toward Ryan's face, which rested on her chest now. "You look so pretty," her breathing slowed as Ryan pressed another kiss to her areola.

Ryan felt Beyoncés heart beat as she let her ear rest on Beyoncé's chest, eyes scanning over the soft naked flesh beside her.

"Can we sleep now?" Ryan asked and Beyoncé laughed but she could already feel her eyes starting to close. They fell asleep that night with Beyoncés arm wrapped around the younger girl, who lay on her chest.

————————[A/N]This chapters short but I feel like a lot happened. I cut a lot of the Brooke stuff because I didn't want it to feel like anything bad was gonna happen for real.

Was this sad? I can't really figure out the vibe of this chapter? Thoughts?