15 - 3:21 AM

What an asshole.

A huge, wide, gaping asshole that has been fucked by the force of one thousand horse dicks (without lubrication, mind you). I looked down at him staring at me with sparkling eyes and never in that moment in time... I mean never in that moment in time... have I ever despised this man so much. He saw my lip twitch and narrowed his eyes at me, daring me to say no in front of all of these people. "Cry," he ordered lowly without moving his lips.

I started to tear up, which was pretty easy to do considering what I was being forced into right now. "Oh my god.. Of course!"

Everyone was cheering on their feet. He stood up and embraced me as I put my lips to his ear. "When we get alone, I am going to stick a pen so far up your dickhole you're never going to be able to take a piss again."

"Oh, baby.. that turns me on," he whispered back, dripping with sarcasm.

I inhaled through my teeth and tried to stay in character, letting faux tears fall into his shoulders. Acting is really my best craft.

-------

After the majority of the guests were gone and Michael's closest male friends remained, I picked up a strawberry on a stick and ran it underneath the warm chocolate fountain. The lights lit up Neverland and the scenery was so nice. I never come to Michael's house. The design messes with my OCD and I just hate it in general.

I heard him come up from behind me and kiss my cheek. "Frecks.. I'm sorry."

"I know you are!" I hissed, biting into the sweet fruit.

He leaned on the table and cocked his head at me, clearly confused. "Why are you so mad?"

"Because you basically forced me." When I realized what he was about to do, my blood went completely hot. He really wasn't kidding when he said he was going to marry me whether I liked it or not.

"So you're telling me you wouldn't have said yes if it wasn't for all of those people?"

"Of course I would've said yes Michael but it's the fact that you didn't give me a choice to say no, on purpose. You couldn't just keep it at a baby shower. No, you had to go to the extremes."

"Don't I always?" he chuckled. "And first, it was romantic. Second, I'm tired of you saying no."

"So you hold me against my will?!"

"No, but think of the big picture. I'm an intellectual."

I laughed. "Intellectual."

"There is no doubt in anyone's mind that this love isn't legitimate after today... and it's been witnessed by everyone. And when we have an interview and they play this... oh believe they are going to go crazy." The excitement in Michael's eyes thinking of the publicity really disturbed me for a second. It's as if attention gets him off or something.

"No one was questioning the legitimacy in the first place, Michael! Haven't you turned on the television?! Newsflash, we don't have to pull off stunts to seem real.. like an awkward kiss to open an awards show." Nearly a year later, I still cringe thinking about it.

"It was definitely the kiss of the century."

"It was definitely a barf in my mouth!"

He held his hands out. "Woah, oh I'm sorry, excuse me for bringing in the biggest names in the.. world."

I rolled my eyes. "You know I appreciate what you did." I really did. It was the sweetest thing and such a surprise, especially the time capsule idea for our son. Michael is the most romantic man I know... when he wants to be.  

"A chocolate fountain, two walls of white roses.. not a bouquet, Giovanna, two wall of white roses, an Egyptian throne..." he went on.

"An Egyptian throne? I thought you got that from IKEA," I said, messing with him.

He leaned back and bulged his eyes out of his head. "IKEA?!"

"I could've sworn I've seen that in an IKEA commercial or something."

"Wha-? No. It's from the lands of Cairo, Giovanna. Right by the Nile river, straight off the Mediterranean sea!" he groaned, landing a blow in my shoulder.

"Ow! I'm just messing with you, geez," I laughed. "Wasn't I sobbing?"

"Oh yeah. You were ugly crying too. I got it all on camera."

I stuck a pineapple chunk through a stick and rotated it under the chocolate, feeding him some. "Ugh.. My mother left me with no kind of transportation back home."

He covered his mouth while he chewed. "You're leaving?!" 

"Not anymore, obviously. But i'm tired and my back hurts. And what are these people still doing here?"

"What do you mean you're tired? It's not even over yet. This is part two."

"Pardon?"

He looked towards the car driving in and pointed at it. The car pulled ahead and one by one the women came out in bikinis laughing and giggling with their titties and pasties bouncing up and down as the men found their picks and led them to the pool with the music blasting.

"You brought strippers. To a baby shower. Why am I not surprised?"

"For one, it's not a baby shower anymore, this is an engagement party. And two, they aren't strippers at all.. they're high class escorts." He looked at my extremely unamused expression. "I mean does this not bring back memories?!"

I sighed.

"Of that time?"

I closed my eyes.

"In Dubai?!"

My fingertips went to my temples.

"Frecks, how can you not remember that? I mean we were both pretty impaired but--"

"I REMEMBER IT MICHAEL!"

He slid his arm across my shoulder and brought my head to his chest. "You're not excited?!"

"No, I am twenty-nine weeks pregnant."

"And I'm obviously way too sober right now so..."

I did another dragged out sigh. So typical he's even predictable.

"Michael, Gia get your asses over here!" Austin laughed in the jacuzzi, bottle of Bacardi in one hand and a titty in the other. This is unreal.

"So I'm going to go forget my name," he said, pointing his thumb back towards the pool. "You can watch if you want."

I shook my head as I bit into another strawberry. No way in hell was I watching this tomfoolery go down when I couldn't even partake in it.

"Or you can be boring and go in the house."

"It's me being a mother and going in the house."

He tugged on my arm and whimpered like a child. "Gia come on. It's not as fun without you."

"No. Bye," I stated, pecking my new fiance on the cheek. "Don't get crabs."

"Pfft, those whores aren't touching me. I'm for their visual pleasure only."

"Their visual pleasure?"

"Maybe one handy but that's only if I'm feeling generous, but definitely not a blowjob. That's like asking for herpes."

I grabbed the rest of the strawberries left on the tray and walked towards the house. "Okay Michael. I'm going to sleep."

"Hold on," He ran up to me and gave me a real kiss. "I'll come back soon. Fiance."

Once I was in, I took my strawberries and headed to the theatre to watch a movie. I had such a good day today.. I'll remember it forever. I looked through his movie collection and huffed when I didn't see not one of mine. Asshole.

After the movie, I walked into his library to grab a book for myself for bed and went into his master bedroom. I turned on the lights and observed the place, taking in the differences since the last time. I hadn't been in here for little over two years and it seemed like a different energy. I didn't like it either.

I stripped off my clothes, took a shower, and got ready for bed. I stepped over the clothes on the floor and made my way over to his closet for a pair of his boxers and shirt to change into. As I was searching through the drawer, there was a large wooden box. Frecks, it said painted on it. I was intrigued.

I lifted it out on the drawer and sat it on the ground. After I got dressed, I sat down on the floor and frowned at the security lock on it. Why did it have a lock on it?! I exhaled and examined the metal. It only needed three digits.

7..7..7

I chuckled as the lock popped open. I knew him way too well.

Upon opening it, I noticed all of the films I've even starred in stacked on the side of the box. I did a sigh of relief. There was paperclip of the small notes of poems I would write for him.. some of his songs too.

There was a photo album and I blushed at all of these old pictures. Birthday parties, vacations, a reel of photos we took in a photobooth, some candids he took of me when I wasn't looking. It brought a lot of good memories back. Then there was a small artpad. I moved my wet hair out of the way so the water wouldn't drip on it and scanned the drawings. Many doodles were of me, a lot were sketches of my eyes (I know this because he included the iris that's partially green), some were of him and me, some were of me and him with mini versions of us, assuming our children which made me smile.

Then there was the last page of it.. a handwritten letter. I focused my eyes on it, not even having my glasses with me and tried to make out his cursive.

September 7, 1987

Frecks,

If you are reading this letter it is the future and it's either our wedding night or the wedding night of you and someone else. I am writing this here in your apartment... it is 3:21 am and you are asleep. I told you I was leaving tomorrow morning for the tour and that I wanted to spend the night before I go and I saw the flash of hurt in your eyes. Well, I don't know if it was pain from what I said or if something in the air irritated them but I saw your eyes dialate and you winced a little.

I noticed how you tried to stay awake as long as you could to talk to me but inevitably your voice started to get low as well as your eyelids and now your head is on my chest and I smell the scent in your hair and I am going to miss that. You're snoring of course but I never mind it.. I'm probably going to miss that too.

I can promise you that nothing feels better than your fingers pressing into my spine when you tell me that you are glad I came over because you felt so stressed. And I haven't heard a tune that sounds better than that thrilling giggle whenever you laugh at my jokes, even when they're corny. I want to kiss you so bad, but I don't know how you would react so I kiss your forehead instead.

I know we are bestfriends and I know that you are not mine, fully. And I am not yours. And I know I say “I love you” all of the time but I really mean something much more specific: I am in love with you, every part of you, inside and out. I just don't want to be your friend. I want to be the only person you go to sleep thinking about and the only person you wake up to in the mornings.

And hopefully one day I got enough courage to let you know how I feel and that you are reading this right now as my new wife and we have a child on the way too and I am the luckiest guy in the world. But if I didn't let you know and I am only here as a wedding guest (and as your best man, cough cough) (and hopefully got to walk you down the aisle, cough cough) then I wish you the very best and that man (or woman) better treat you as the princess you are, because you are nothing short of it.

Always yours, and have always been yours, Michael.

I looked down at the paper and reread it again and again, sobbing harder each time. I coudn't even believe I was reading this...

"What are you doing?" I jumped as I heard his low, slurred speech from behind me.

Shit. Damnit. Fuck.

"N-nothing," I stuttered as I wiped my tears and I silently closed the artpad, trying to shield the box with my body. "Just looking for some pants.."

I heard him gasp. "You're in my box?"

Aw, hell. Caught in the act. I closed it back and put the lock on it. I turned around and looked at him, leaning on the side of the door frame, eyes blood shot and shirt now wrinkled and half undone. "Um.."

"Move!" he ordered, almost falling over a little as he bent down to pick it up.

"I'll put it back," I offered.

"No, you've touched it enough," he growled, walking, barely, to his bed and sliding it underneath.

"Are you drunk?"

He laughed. "Off of only six drinks? Come on now. You know me."

I sighed. Only six drinks.

He collapsed on the bed face first too wasted to take his clothes off. I crawled in bed with him, staring in pity as he was still in his suit. I helped him slide off his pants as he was still laying on his stomach.

"Turn around and sit up," I said softly, trying not to irritate him. He rolled over and lifted his arms up for me to pull him. I grabbed both arms and pulled him up close to me, smelling the alcohol on his lips.

"Your alcohol tolerance level isn't as high as you think it is," I whispered as I took off his blazer.

His glossy eyes looked at me through the curls that were in his face. "Hm.. kiss me."

I unbuttoned the rest of his shirt down and took it off, revealing his chest and went to retreive him a new shirt to sleep in as well as a cup of Listerine. "Here." I held out the cup of mouthwash. "Rinse your mouth and spit it back. And put this shirt on."

He obeyed and I poured the mouthwash down his sink then threw the cup in the trash. I came back as he was pulling his shirt down his head and leaned down for his kiss.

"Another one," he said, and I gave him another one.

"One more?"

I gave him one again then turned the lights off and crawled into bed with him. After a while and when I was sure he was asleep, he opened his eyes and spoke up.

"You read the letter didn't you?"

"Yes," I replied, wanting to kick myself for doing it. I shouldn't have went through his things.

"You messed the whole thing up."

"I'm sorry..."

He didn't say anything and turned away from my face.

"Do you still feel that way?" I asked to the back of his head, a little scared of the answer. We've been through so much since that time year, so many people, so many arguments and things being said we wish we hadn't said.

"I'm not saying anything until I'm sober."

I groaned. "Wow."

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked, barely audible since he was still turned away.

"What?"

"Why are we so afraid of eachother?"

That took me by surprise.

He continued. "Why are we so afraid to just be.. honest with eachother? To just be eachother's?" he mumbled, somewhat comprehensible.

"Why do you get so deep when you're drunk?"

"See, that's what I'm talking about. You're being.." He paused to yawn. "Sarcastic to avoid being honest with me.. open up your heart all the way to me."

I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep. "We'll talk later. Goodnight."

"You're going to avoid it but whatever. Goodnight."

-----

"Well that was fast! After only a couple of months after Michael Jackson's divorce with Lisa Marie Presley, Giovanna Wolf and Michael are now engaged! It has been reported that there is no wedding date at this time, however, the two fortunes are expecting a baby boy in November."

"The media has been in a frenzy ever since the expecting Michael Jackson and Giovanna Wolf's engagement, but there is one person who says she doesn't care... Jackson's ex-wife, Lisa Marie Presley."

"It has been confirmed that Wacko Jacko and his old time lesbian lover, Giovanna Wolf, also known as two of the biggest narcissists in Hollywood are tying the knot. Seems like the perfect pair."

"I can't even say I'm surprised! These two were dating for how long? Six or seven years? Maybe he can finally have some normalcy in his life. People adored the golden couple. The only thing shocking about this engagement is why it didn't happen sooner? That Presley situation was just bizarre."

"Well I'm not completely convinced that this marriage is the real deal. Something is telling me this marriage is happening so that baby won't be born out of wedlock. But you know who I really feel sorry for in this situation? That poor baby." 

"Two of the world's most adored humanitarians are coming together in marriage. We can't wait to see what that adorable son will look like."

-----

september 7 - 4:32 pm - day of mtv video music awards, manhattan, nyc

"Michael, what in the world?! You're doing it wrong!"

"Maybe I could do it without your goddamn screeching in my eardrum!"

"Move." I snatched the his teddy bear out of his grasp. We were practicing parenting skills from instructional videos in our hotel room and he was failing miserably. "I would think you out of all people would know the basics of changing a diaper."

"I help children through charity, Giovanna. Not through changing their shitty diapers!"

He watched me put the diaper on the teddy bear with ease. "You put the new one underneath, then undo the soiled one, wipe his little butt, then clean all crack and crannies, push his little wee wee downward, and tie the new one securely so he won't piss on himself and/or one of us." Being that I had to care for Aaron all of the time, I knew how to do everything from making formula, to packing a baby bag, to burping, to giving a baby a bath. But the crying part... I'm dreading it. I just don't have the patience. "Now you try it." I slid the second teddy bear to him with a new diaper.

"We don't have the time! They're going to be here any min--"

"DO IT." I refused to go to any awards show or let any hair and makeup person in here until he got a diaper on that teddy bear.

He inhaled sharply at the sound of my scream and tried it himself. He took his time but after the entire hour we have been doing this, he finally got it. I squealed and clapped. "Look at you."

"I'm Father of the Year," he chirped.

"We'll see once he throws up on your shoulder."

He winced. "Babies do that?"

"Yes." 

"Ugh. Disgusting."

-------

There was a buzz from my gates and I groaned getting up from my couch. I might as well give Michael a set of keys now because I was tired of opening the door for him everytime he came. 

"Hello?" I asked as I pushed my security speaker, not seeing his face in the screen.. nor recognizing the car.

The windows rolled down and her face appeared.. the same face I hadn't seen in years. My first love, my truest love. She smiled at me in the camera. "Did you miss me?" 

"Oh my god.." I breathed, recognizing the face immediately. I opened the gates and sprinted outside to my yard, barefoot and in nothing but a robe but I could almost scream. She sped inside my driveway a little too fast but it didn't matter... I was about to explode in excitement.

She got out of the car with her boots, and too tight black pants and her dark mane cascading over her leather jacket. She turned to me removing her shades and she looked.. healthy?  I sprinted to her arms, emotions immediately washed over my eyes and into her jacket. She laughed and my heart fluttered at the sound. I couldn't contain myself. I pulled away from her and looked up at her face.

"Look at you," I croaked, stroking my thumb over her cheek.

"I'm clean. For three years now," she informed eagerly, like a child excited to show her mother the A she got on a test.

"Three years?!" She normally never lasted three weeks.

She flashed her perfect teeth, "I wanted to be sure I was before I came back to you.."

Tears were clouding my vision as I blinked them away.

"You look the same," she said. "Besides the... well.. your stomach."

"Oh.. yes, about that."

Her face went hard, her eyes went cold. "Yeah. About that."

That's when her fist landed to my nose and I all I saw was black.