Chapter 50 - Reconciliation

A/N - And here it is my Lovelies...... Its a bit of a longer one - and hopefully worth the wait.  Don't worry, there's still a little bit more to come.....Thanks again to all of you for reading and sticking with it through 50 CHAPTERS!! (I still can't believe we're at 50!!)  Please let me know your thoughts and reactions -  I LOVE COMMENTS - and please, please, please don't forget to vote.  Enjoy everyone!

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It was yet another beautiful day on Chandrila.  Aside from her heartache and sadness, Rey had found it very peaceful here over the past couple of months, and spent most of her time outdoors when she wasn't sleeping.  Lately, she had felt so tired in the afternoons that she needed a nap, else she couldn't keep her eyes open at dinner.  Thus she tried to get outside early in the morning every day to mediate, followed by a walk through the meadows and fields nearby.   There was also an orchard located a short walk away behind the house, and she would visit it daily to grab a snack before returning to the house for lunch and her nap.

She loved the house that had so quickly come to feel like home to her.   It was the Solo family home, and was the place where Ben had spent the most time as a child – where he had essentially grown up.  On some level, Rey felt connected to him here, and once her heartache had begun to lessen slightly, it made her feel a little bit better.

There were still traces of his childhood presence scattered everywhere around the house.  Numerous books on ship design and propulsion were on the bookshelves in the living room, and small childhood crafts – treasured mementos – placed proudly on display here and there.  She'd found a box of old toys in the closet of his bedroom – model starships, blasters, and other small things, as well as a book with his old calligraphy work, and a set of tools and a dried-up pot of ink used to create it.  When she had found it, she had lovingly traced her fingers over the beautifully formed letters, remembering his large hands.  It was hard to believe such large hands could create such beautiful, finely detailed work....or touch her so gently.  She had shivered at the thought, and decided it was time to put that out of her mind.

She had just finished her morning walk and meditation session, and was strolling aimlessly through one of the nearby meadows behind the house, enjoying the warmth and sunshine.   Feeling her stomach rumble, she turned to make her way towards the orchard, wanting to pick a few of the glee-fruits that were ripening on the trees.

Something was going to happen today.  She could feel it in the Force. It was a ripple - a feeling of impending change.  The feeling was similar to what she'd felt on Coruscant just before the attack, except in that case it was a feeling of foreboding.  Today it felt almost... expectant.

Reaching the orchard, she set down the wide basket that she was carrying, admiring the selection of wildflowers she'd picked earlier.  Coming from a desert planet where almost nothing grew, she decided that she loved flowers, and picked some every day to keep in different rooms of the house.  Strolling through the orchard, she picked a few of the pink glee-fruits and placed them in her basket to take back with her.  Her mouth watered and her belly grumbled at the thought of the juicy, tart fruits.  Unable to resist, she started munching on one as she turned to head back to the house.  She patted the small, but now evident bump on her belly as she walked.   "Happy now?"  She chuckled.  While she normally couldn't resist the thought of food at the best of times, her appetite had definitely grown in the past weeks – to the point that she became ravenous if she didn't eat almost immediately upon feeling even mild hunger pangs.

A feeling of protectiveness washed over her.  She would do anything to protect this child – her daughter – even sacrifice her own happiness - live without a part of her soul.   Her other half - Ben.  Thinking of him, her heart clenched.  She looked down at the ring she still wore.  Unable to part with it, she had switched it to her right hand so it would represent a memory – her memory of him - rather than their promise to each other.

Every day she was less certain of this path she had chosen.  Time has a way of adding perspective, and her feelings of guilt about how she'd behaved toward Ben had continued to grow.  She knew that she'd acted unfairly.   Rashly.   Treated him poorly, and hadn't truly trusted him enough to listen to what he might have said.  But, she didn't know how to fix this anymore.   She supposed she could still swallow her pride, and try reaching out to him, but.....

She was very uncertain of his temperament.  The fact that he'd blown up Vandor-1 indicated that somehow he had slipped back into his Darkness.  Was he back to acting like the twisted and evil monster he used to be?  No one but a monster could take billions of lives in an instant.  But, there was this niggling feeling deep down within her that kept whispering that she would have known, would have felt it if that were happening to him.  How could he have hidden it from her so thoroughly?

What if....???  No.  There couldn't be any what ifs... she couldn't take that risk.  She had more to consider than just herself now.  If he had slipped back into darkness and found her, she didn't know what would happen.  She would never, ever want her child to grow up around someone like that – even if it was her father.  And she knew that if he found her – found them – he'd never let them go.  But, what if there was an explanation, and he hadn't... she'd be robbing her daughter of a father.  One who would probably love her.  She held back a soft sob.   No.  It was simply too great a risk.  She took a deep breath and rubbed her belly, calming herself.  The day had started off so well.  She would not cry today.

Suddenly, she felt a shift in the Force.   A shimmer she hadn't felt in awhile.  She stopped in her tracks, almost dropping her basket as her emotions began to riot.  It was him.  Regardless of the knot she'd tied, she could feel his Force Signature strongly.  She looked up towards the sky.  He had found her.  He was here.... That's why something felt different today.   Somehow, deep down, she had known that he was coming....for her.

She remembered her nightmare, and gasped, her whole body starting to tremble.   Maker, no.... please, no!  She thought.  It seemed to be playing out almost exactly the same way, except that her betrayal was not for another – she had instead betrayed his trust directly.  She put her hand on her belly, and began to whimper.  Please, please no!  There was nowhere to run, and she knew if she tried, he'd eventually catch her.  She had to think!   Had to calm down!

Taking a deep breath, she reached out ever so slightly to see if she could sense his mood.   However, his side of the bond was also tightly closed, and she couldn't tell what he was feeling.   But with him being so near, she could feel his Force Signature strongly once again, and she gasped.  It was....different!  When they had first reconnected after Crait his Force Signature had burned fiery red.  But as they got to know each other bit by bit, and he seemed to have been changing, she noticed that it too was shifting and became orange, and then most recently, amber.  Today, it was no less brilliant, but shone softly golden with only the slightest tinge of amber at the edges.

What did that mean???  Based on his Force Signature, she didn't feel like he had come to kill or capture her.   But she was so confused as she struggled to process everything.  How had he found her?  She hadn't left the the property nor its surroundings since she'd been here, and had not interacted with anyone other than Chewie when he came to bring her supplies every few weeks. Did Leia tell him where she was?  If so, there had to be a reason.   Her heart clenched.   The only reason Leia would help him was if Rey had been wrong.   She swallowed painfully.  If she had somehow been wrong about all of it, how badly must her behaviour have hurt him?

She held her hand over her mouth to choke back a sob.  Could she really have been that mistaken?  Her guilt and shame threatened to overwhelm her.  If so, he might never forgive her.... Tears were spilling down her cheeks.   What had she done?

****

Ben sighed deeply as he completed his landing sequence and prepared to depart the shuttle.  He knew she was here – he could feel her Force Signature strongly again.  It felt different, but it was definitely hers.

What would they say to each other?  What could they say?  If you had asked him - before Hux pulled his stupid stunt – whether they trusted one another, he would have answered - Yes. Completely.  Implicitly.  He still didn't understand what had happened to shake it – to destroy - that trust.  Yes, it had looked bad – it was bad – when Hux blew up Vandor-1, but at the very least he would've expected her to speak to him, at least once.   He didn't know what he'd done....and even his Mother hadn't been able to provide any more details.

His breath shuddered out of his chest.   He was scared.  More frightened than at any other time in his life.  This conversation would define everything going forward.  Whether or not they would move forward – whether they'd be together, or apart.  Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and he blinked them away fiercely.   No!  He would not give up on everything they'd become to each other.  They would work this out.  They simply had to.  If they couldn't, he didn't know how he'd carry on without her.  She was the only other person who had ever truly understood him.

He choked down his anxiety and ran his hands through his hair.   It was time.   Taking a last calming breath, he walked out of the shuttle and moved towards the house.   When he reached the front door, he could tell she wasn't inside.  Walking around the side, he headed toward the fields and the orchard he knew lay beyond.   The orchard was a bit of a walk away, but he could sense that she was somewhere in that direction.

Although he grew up here – in this house, he hadn't been back to Chandrila since he was 15 years old.  As he trudged through the meadow, he looked around, recalling the times he'd played here with his father or with Chewie.  Some of the grasses grew tall enough to hide a 4 year old boy intent on saving the galaxy.  Smiling, he remembered the toy blaster his father had brought him, and how upset his mother was over it.   "Han!   You don't give a 4 year old a toy weapon!"  Chuckling, he could still hear his dad's response.  "Well, what should I have gotten him?  It was either a toy blaster or a toy lightsaber!  I figured he'll be picking up a saber soon enough – so a blaster seemed just fine!  Never underestimate the power of a good blaster!"  His mother had just rolled her eyes and stormed away.

He was so lost in his memory that he failed to notice the slight figure standing at the edge of the orchard, nervously clutching a broad basket in front of her.  He kept walking until he was about 5 paces away – not wanting to get too close, in case she was frightened.  She looked so achingly beautiful to him.  Her face seemed to have filled out a bit, and even though she was clearly nervous, generally looked more serene than he could ever remember her being.

They both just stared at each other for several minutes, neither knowing what to say to break the ice and the awkwardness between them.   Ben finally spoke first, his tone sincere.  "You're looking well.  Chandrila agrees with you."

She swallowed thickly, taking in his appearance as well.  He looks thinner.  She thought.   And he has dark circles under his eyes again.   "You look....."  She stopped, unsure of what to say.  "kind of awful..."

He let out a scoff and looked away, biting back the hurtful retort that was on the tip of his tongue.  What did she expect?  He wasn't sleeping well without her at his side, and still barely ate – unless Avanti and Tiga hounded him to.  Taking a deep breath, he steeled his courage, and softly asked the question that had haunted him for over 2 months.  "Why Rey?"

Her eyes filled with tears as her breathing became irregular, but her throat closed up so tightly that she couldn't answer him.

"Why didn't you – why couldn't you – come to me and ask dammit?!"  His emotions were starting to bubble out, and his voice raised with them.  "You couldn't trust me enough to even come to rage and scream at me – to try to kick my ass!!  Instead you just ran!   Away from me! ME!"   He yelled, pounding a fist to his chest.  He turned his face away, trying to regain his control, dashing away the tears that had started to flow, so she wouldn't see them.

Tears were also streaming down her face.  Her voice was the barest whisper, breaking as she asked.  "Did....did you do it?"

"OF COURSE I DIDN'T!!"  He screamed.   "But you still think I'm a monster!  And THAT's the real reason why you didn't ask!"  He turned away from her, scrubbing at his face and tearing his hands through his hair.

With that, she crumpled to her knees, sobbing, the basket dropping in front of her.  "I....I'm sorry."  She cried brokenly.  "I don't think you're a monster.   I swear it!   I was confused..."

"Confused?"  He roared.  "About what?  About my feelings for you?  About whether I'm a monster?  About my feelings towards blowing up planets?   I had already told you how I felt about my mother's planet, and Hosnia!  So, what was it, Rey?  Tell me what, because I sure as hell don't understand it, and you never, NEVER gave me the benefit of the doubt!!  Never gave me a chance!"  His voice broke, and he stopped.  He was breathing heavily, panting, blinking tears out of his eyes.  His voice was calmer when he spoke again, quietly pleading.  "So tell me why Rey.   I want to know.  No, I need to know."

She just sobbed harder, her face turned toward the ground, her hands clutching clumps of grass to try to steady herself.  "I....I thought..... you had turned... back to the dark side!"  She cried. "I'd had a dream – a nightmare – that you blew up a planet – and I was on it.   I.... I thought it might have been a vision!"

He wiped his eyes on his sleeve and inhaled deeply to try to unfurl the knot of hurt in his chest and took several deep breaths to try to calm himself down.   "Your nightmare.  The one you had in my quarters.  Where you were frightened of me afterwards – and called me Kylo."  He stated tonelessly.

She looked up at him with glassy eyes and nodded, before looking back down at the ground.

He continued.  "And so when Hux blew up Vandor-1 with the Ascendancy,"  Her eyes snapped back up to him in complete shock.  "you thought that I did it in retaliation for their assassination attempt."

Her face was a mask of pain.   She covered it with her hands and fell forward, sobbing into the ground.

"Unbeknownst to me, Hux had snuck away to take delivery of the Ascendancy – which he had secretly ordered to be equipped with a ventral cannon array that was capable of destroying entire planets.  That error has already been rectified by the removal of that array."

He looked down at her, brokenly sobbing on the grass, and felt like his heart was about to shatter.  But they needed to get this out, if they were going to have a chance to move forward. "So.  Because you had a frightening dream, that began to bear some similarities to reality, you thought I had turned back to the dark side – became the monster that was Kylo Ren once again.  And you were so certain of this that you never thought to speak to me?  To ask me what the hell was going on?"  He let out a long, disappointed sigh.  "Rey, you broke our trust because of a dream?"  His deep voice cracked and broke at the end of his sentence.

She sat up on her knees, wiping her tears on her sleeves, and tried to make her voice work through her constricted throat.  "Ben..."  She croaked out in a whisper.  "I am sorry.  I am so, unbelievably sorry.  I don't think I'll ever be able to say it enough."  She swallowed.  "I was wrong.   I broke your trust – our trust – and I hurt you.   Foolishly.  Stupidly.  I didn't come to you – and I should have.  I know I should have.  I've known for over a month that what I did was wrong – but I didn't know how to fix it!"  She was falling apart and desperately trying to hold it together.  She needed him to try to understand why she did what she did – even though it was wrong.  He needed to see.  "I was confused.  And.....I... I was scared."

Frustration and exasperation could be heard in his voice, as he asked, thunderstruck.   "Why would you be scared of me?  I've never – never – done anything to knowingly hurt you!  Why would you think that I would start now?"

She shook her head.  "I wasn't scared for me."  She told him, taking a deep breath.  "I was scared that if you had turned to the dark side, and found us, that you'd never let us go."  Standing up, she continued.  "And I just couldn't.....take that risk...".  She untied the knot in their bond and let all her emotions flow to him – letting him feel everything she was feeling.

Ben was confused, not quite following what she was trying to tell him.  Us?  Who was she talking about?  Suddenly, he felt her throw the bond wide open, and he was bombarded with all of her emotions.  Her despair, her regret, her fear, her sadness, and her hope.  It was almost overwhelming, and nearly brought him to his knees.  He had to take a deep breath to steady himself.

He watched as she pulled herself up to stand before him.   She was wearing what was once probably a pretty dress, but the skirt was now covered in stains from her kneeling in the grass.   As he continued to move his gaze up from the bottom of her skirt, he froze when it touched on the noticeable bump at her belly.   It was as if time stopped, and the world around him went silent for an instant, before the blood was roaring in his ears and everything he'd ever known and thought was important vaporized as if it were a puff of smoke.

His mouth opened, but no sound came out, and his eyes widened to saucers as his face paled by several shades.   The breath loudly whooshed out of his chest, as his knees finally gave out.   Reaching his arm out towards her, he could only croak out her name as the tears poured from his eyes in earnest..  "Rey...."

"Ben.   I am so sorry for what I did.  I know I hurt you.  Terribly.   I'll never forgive myself for doing that.  Never.  I don't know if I can ever make it up to you, but I hope that you can start to understand why I was so confused, and so scared of what might happen?  I was afraid to risk coming to you - if you had turned to the dark side....."  She took a deep breath, and shook her head.   "I should have trusted you – I know that now.  I was stupid.   Foolish.  But I had just found out – literally minutes before Vandor-1 happened.  And....I wasn't thinking clearly."

"My mother knew...."  He whispered.

"Yes.   She tried to talk some sense into me....but... I...I wouldn't listen."

"That's why she helped you to leave – to hide."

"Yes."  She told him.  "Chewie too."

He looked across at her, and it all melted away.  His hurt.  His anger.   His fear.  His disappointment.  He was still in shock, but pure joy – sheer euphoria – was coursing through him.  She had been scared and unsure – and ran to protect their child.  She'd been wrong, but now he could at least understand her motivations a bit.  He closed his eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath to try to stop his entire body from shaking.  It would all be okay.  It had been hell for both of them, but they'd be stronger because of this.

His words were tender, and laced with wonder.  "Rey....we're going to have a baby..."

A sense of profound relief washed over her at his softly uttered words, and she chanced a small smile, nodding at him through teary eyes.

"Rey, can you please come here?   I don't think my legs will work."

She laughed softly, looking at the man on his knees in front of her as tears continued to streak down her cheeks, and took the few steps  to close the distance that separated them.  Once she was near enough, his arms snaked around her to pull her tightly into his body, and he buried his face into her chest.   They both sighed in unison as the rightness and calm of their embrace washed over them.  "I've missed you so damn much!"  He told her.  "Please, don't ever do that to me again."

"I promise Ben.   With all of my heart."  She fervently pledged.

Deep down, she knew that this was completely her fault.  He was blameless.  She had hurt him deeply – yet he came back to her.  Someone who had been hurt and misunderstood his whole life, by the people he loved most.   And she did the very same thing.  She broke his trust.  Made him feel like she thought he was a monster.  She thanked the Maker, all the Gods and the Force that he was here – loved her enough not to turn her betrayal into hate, as he had done with everyone else in the past.  It probably would have been so easy for him to slip back into that darkness, and it would have been her that had driven him back to what she feared most.  She shuddered, and felt sick at the thought of what her actions could have caused.

Running her hands through his hair, she tilted his head up so she could look into his eyes.  "I swear if you forgive me I'll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you!  And I'll never, ever lose my faith in you – in us – again."

"Sweetheart, I forgave you the moment I saw you standing there clutching that basket so tightly."  He told her thickly, before smiling.  "But I'll enjoy having you try."

She gave him an amused little shake before leaning down to kiss him softly.  "I know its...unexpected.  But...are you...happy about this?"

"Yes."  He said emphatically.  "I love you Rey.   More than I can ever express in words.   I've....felt alone....my whole life.  The only time I haven't felt that way is with you.   I know its soon, but I want nothing more than to have you by my side, with a bunch of kids tangling in our legs – a family – our family.  One we made together."  He gave her a huge smile and laughed. "I'm still trying to absorb it all."  Stopping, he turned to ask.   "What about you?  Are you happy about this?"

She smiled softly.   "At the beginning I was really freaked out.  But I've wanted nothing more than to have a family for as long as I can remember.  So, yes, I'm happy."  She hesitated.   "But, I've never really been around children before, never mind babies.   So, I'll have to admit that I'm kind of terrified Ben.   I don't know what I'm doing...."

He placed a finger under her chin and tilted it down so she looked right into his eyes.  "You and me both.  But I don't want you to worry about anything.  We'll do this together.  And we'll get whatever help we need.   As much or as little as you want – for as long as you want.  Even if its only for a little while – to figure out the baby basics.  Okay?"

"Okay......I....just want to learn the things we need to know about babies.   I want to be a good mother – want us to be good parents.  And I want us to be there for them.  You once told me that you were left with house droids or other people a lot, and that will not happen with any of our children!"  She told him fiercely.

Smiling softly, he reached up and stroked her hair back, needing to touch her.  "We'll do whatever we need to Sweetheart.  And I think we'll be very different parents than the ones you and I had."

Nodding, Rey grabbed his shoulders and hugged him tightly, sighing in contentment.  "I love you so much, Ben."  She nuzzled her face into his hair.  "It hurt so badly to be apart from you.   And not telling you about the baby felt so wrong.  I was so scared that she'd never get to meet her father!"

"She?"  He asked in amazement.

She nodded and placed his hand on her belly.  "If you reach out enough, you can feel her – and her Force Signature."

He closed his eyes and focused for a minute, a smile of pure joy appearing on his face.  "I do feel her.  Rey, our baby has the Force!"  His gaze flicked up at Rey in amazement, and she nodded back with a soft smile.  "That's what's been muffling your Force Signature!"  Rey looked back at him in confusion.  "Sometime before you left, I noticed that your Force signature felt – off – a bit...muffled.  I think it was around the time of your confrontation with Vitka.  I just thought you were tired – but it was our daughter's signature making itself known."

"Hmmm."  She pondered. "Well, I certainly had no idea.  Looking back I think I may have been a bit more tired and ate a bit more than usual – even then.   But I didn't find out until I was packing up my stuff from the base, and I had this envelope with my test results from the MedBay – from after Coruscant.   I just hadn't opened it.   I was going to throw it away... but I was curious about what types of advanced scans you had in the First Order.   Imagine my shock when I saw the word "pregnant" under results."

Ben rubbed her back.  "I'm sorry I wasn't with you...."

"Its okay."  She told him.  "I was pretty freaked out."  Sobering, she continued.  "And then, we found out about Vandor-1.   I had literally just left my room and was wandering around the base in shock....I....wasn't upset....just a bit dazed.  Then, the news of Vandor-1 came... and I passed out.   I woke up in the MedBay – Leia was with me.  And...that's when I insisted on leaving..."  She looked down at him sadly again.   "I'm so sorry Ben.  I did this – I caused it all – its my fault.   I should never have run from you."  Her eyes welled up with tears again.

"Shhh.  Enough crying.  From both of us."  He laughed, wiping her tears with his thumbs.  "We'll be stronger because of this.  When I think about it, your dream, and how it led to all of this, it was probably some strange test from the Force that we needed to face.   And because of it, we're wiser, closer and better."

He hoisted himself off of the ground and pulled her into his arms once again.  Bringing one hand to her face he gently stroked her cheek before leaning down to softly kiss her.  Rey's breath caught in her throat at the tenderness of it, and from the feelings she could sense from him through the bond.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with equal tenderness, enjoying the feeling of their Force merging together, seeming to flow around them like a gentle wave.

"Let's go back to the house."  He murmured deeply, warmly gazing into her eyes.  She nodded back at him, smiling knowingly.  "But first"  He smirked.  "I want one of those glee-fruits.  They were always my favourite – and I haven't had one in over a decade!"

****

They held hands as they walked back to the house, unable to stop touching each other.  Ben's arm was around her, his other hand entwined with hers.  Every minute or so, he leaned down to kiss her, or she leaned up to kiss him.  Both could feel the Force humming pleasantly around them.

"You seem....different."  She told him.

"How so?"  He asked.

She cocked her head as she looked up at him.   "I'm not quite sure.  Its subtle.  Your Force Signature.  Its... shifted.   Its, calmer somehow."

"Huh."  He wondered.   Taking a deep breath, he told her.  "I did speak to my mother...finally."

Stopping, she gaped up at him in shock.   "You whaaat?"

He leaned over and placed his finger under her chin to close her mouth.  "Yes.  I tried to contact her several times over the past couple of months, but she wouldn't respond.  At first, I thought it was because of Vandor-1, but after awhile I started to suspect it was because she knew where you were, and so was avoiding me.   I had to go visit my Uncle Lando and get him to talk to her first – to arrange a meeting."

"Wait – Lando Calrissian?"  She squeaked excitedly.

"Yes, why?"

"Lando is your Uncle too??"

He looked at her oddly.  "Why does that surprise you?  He was one of my father's best friends."

"It's just...I...didn't think.... Wow!"

He rolled his eyes and kissed her softly.  "He told me that he'd met you before.  I promised him that I'd bring you for a visit soon..."  His eyes narrowed suspiciously.  "He said you owe him a rematch."

Laughing, she told him.  "I beat him at Sabacc last time."

It was Ben's turn for his eye's to widen, and he smiled in appreciation.  "Really?  That's...wow!   He never loses."  She looked like she was going to ask another question, but he placed his fingers over her lips.  "He and I - we had a difficult conversation ....about my father...."  He sighed, shaking his head.  "I don't understand why everyone is so willing to forgive me....but, I think he did."

"Because they love you.  And they know Ben..."  She smiled up at him softly, placing her hand on his chest.  "...who you really are."

He gave her a curt nod and went on.  "He arranged a meeting between my Mother and I in Cloud City."  Releasing a long sigh he told her.  "You were right Rey.  I did need to see her – needed to speak with her to clear the air."  He smiled down at her softly.  "Afterwards, I felt free.  I felt like...like...."  His eyes glistened a bit as he gazed down at her.  "like Ben – not Kylo."

Rey's eyes widened, and her mouth fell open as she continued to listen to him explain.  "You've almost always called me Ben.  At first, it pissed me off, but deep down, I was okay with it, even though I saw myself as Kylo.  As we grew closer, I felt more and more like Ben.  But inside, I knew that Kylo was still there – waiting to come roaring back whenever I lost my temper.   And, in my own eyes, I still was Kylo."  His eyes met Rey's, who was listening intently.  "But, after my mother and I.....reconciled....I feel like Kylo is finally gone."

She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.   "Oh Ben.   I never knew you felt like that! I've called you Ben because that's who you've been to me since the moment we touched hands on Ahch-To.   I knew that Kylo was in there with you too, but every day he became harder and harder to find.   There will probably always be some Kylo inside – he's a part of you.   And I've told you before, I love all of you – both your light and dark.  But you haven't really been Kylo for awhile now, and I am so glad that you know it too."

She kissed him soundly, leaning up on her tip toes to press herself close to him.  His hands wrapped around her waist and grasped her tightly, relishing in the feelings flowing between them and how she felt in his arms.  He could feel the slight bulge of her belly nudge against him, and a feeling of utter satisfaction and rightness washed over him.  Pulling away, she smiled up at him – joy written all over her face.  "Oh Ben, I'm so happy you're here!  I'm so relieved.... I was so stupid..."

He shook his head.  "Stop Rey.  Don't keep tormenting yourself.  Let's put it behind us.  We've talked it out – its done.  I just want to think about the future."

She nodded happily.  "Me too."

Gazing down at her beautiful face, he was almost overcome with joy.  She was his future – the woman who would be his wife, and bear his children.   A sudden thought made him uneasy.   

She could feel a hint of fear whisper through the bond, and suddenly he seemed to be far away.  "What's wrong?"

Swallowing the lump that lodged in his throat, he asked.  "Rey....do you still want to...be married to me?"

Her smile was blinding.  "More than anything."   Holding up her right hand, she told him – we just need to switch fingers.

His eyes widened as a relieved smile formed on his lips.  "You're still wearing it."

She nodded.   "Of course.  You gave it to me.  I just couldn't look at it on my left hand every day – it made me sad, what I'd felt we'd lost – so I switched it to a different finger on my right, and it became a memory of you...."

He kissed her forehead before removing the ring from her right hand and sliding it back onto the ring finger of her left.  Bringing her hand to his lips, he kissed her fingers.  His smile was brilliant, as he picked her up and spun her around.  "Thank you, Sweetheart."

"No.  Thank you Ben.   For not giving up on me.  For believing in me – in us - enough to stay true to yourself.  And to keep looking for me – to come and find me.  For saving me – saving us - from myself."  She leaned up and kissed him again, just as her belly let out a fierce growl, breaking the tension.

"Whoa."  Ben laughed.   "I guess we'd better go feed you – my hungry pregnant Scavenger."

"Yes.  I really do need to eat.  This morning took a lot out of me."  Swaying a bit on her feet, she leaned against him.  "I've noticed lately that once I feel hungry I need to eat almost right away or I get lightheaded."

He scooped her up into his arms to carry her the rest of the way back.  "Why didn't you say something?"  He chastised.

"I didn't have a chance.   It comes on really quickly.   I'll be fine one minute, and grasping at something to hold onto in the next."

His face showed concern as picked up his pace.  "Then we need to get some food into you.  We'll need to make sure you eat more frequently, but I'm taking you to the MedBay as soon as we get back."

"Its fine Ben."

"I'm sure it is.  But please – do it to put my mind at ease.  You were already pregnant when we were at Coruscant, which means you went through a lot – the explosion, the surgery after Vitka, the drugs from your 'friends' intervention.   Oh Gods, the drugs...."  He paled.

She patted his arm.  "I'm sure everything is fine Ben.  If something was wrong, I'd know.  I'd sense it.  But yes, l'll go to MedBay and let them poke at me."  She said in resignation.

"Thank you Sweetheart."  He told her, tightening his arms around her as she buried her face in his chest in happiness and contentment.  They were together, and all was right in their galaxy once more.