// FALLING FOR YOU //

"Where do you want to go?" He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, he sighed. I could tell my silence was annoying him but I couldn't speak. Nothing would come out of my mouth and I think he understood that, I hoped he would. He didn't ask if there was any thing wrong even though it was so obvious there was. He didn't ask what was wrong which I was unconditionally thankful for. We drove along this long stretch of road and I opened my window allowing the strong winds to blow my unruly set of blonde curls around the place. An hour had passed and we pulled up at the beach. The silence was deafening.

"I used to come here with my brother." He didn't look at me when he spoke. "It's a great place to clear your head," he got out his pack of cigarettes.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" He asked. I shook my head. Usually I would, but I was contemplating whether to have one myself. He took the cigarette out and put it between his lips and lit it. He inhaled the smoke and held it for a few seconds before breathing it out.

"Can I have one?" I didn't like how my voice sounded, all croaky and chocked up, like I was going to cry at any second. He looked at me weirdly and raised an eyebrow, then turned back to the road. I laughed slightly.

"Bad day," I simply said. He got another cigarette out and passed it to me. This time it was me lighting it and breathing in the smoke, I so badly needed to cough, I looked at him and coughed a lot, and loudly. He laughed, then we both laughed.

"Ok maybe smoking wasn't for me," I said laughing and handing the cigarette back to him. There was silence again, a comforting silence this time. He got out of the car and went to the boot and then returned with a bottle of vodka and a bag of what looked like, although I'm not an expert, weed.

"Do you mind?" He asked.

I liked that. I liked that he asked if I minded. I shook my head again.

"You can speak you know," he said.

I nodded my head, he laugh. He rolled what other people may call a 'joint' and lit it up. Now in all my 20 years of living I have smoked weed approximately twice and each time I coughed and vowed never to do it again. I watched as he inhaled the toxins. Without looking at me he passed the joint. I put it between my lips and inhaled, I didn't cough. I held it in my lungs for as long as I could and the released the smoke.

"Professional," he joked.

An hour had passed of silently drinking and smoking weed.

"Why did you call me?" He asked.

This was the question I had been waiting for him to ask, the inevitable question. And I didn't even know the answer to it. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Nope not excepting that Charlotte, why did you call me?" This time he sounded more serious.

"Because I wanted to, is that enough for you?" I sounded more bitchy than I intended to. It was the truth, I had wanted to call him.

"Why didn't you call Finn?"

"Because I called you instead Matthew." I turned to face him now.

"You're unbelievably complicated Charlotte."

I nodded my head, "I know Matthew."

I took another sip of the vodka and swallowed it, it burned my throat and chest but I was already feeling the effect of it, alongside the effect of the weed as well.

"My brother used to take me to the beach when he knew I was upset or angry or whatever, he used to drive me down there, he found comfort in listening to to the waves. He never asked me why I was upset or angry, we never spoke. We didn't have too. You're like him and I find comfort in that."

He stared at me with a slight grin on his face, "you're so beautiful," he said. I turned to face him now, he looked right back at me, his eyes were all blood shot, but also sad looking, tired. Like he hadn't slept for weeks but then at the same time completely bright and alive and I'm still trying to figure out how that's possible.

My heart stopped and everything went silent, I couldn't even hear the seagulls squawking any more. He continued to look at me, blank expression until a smile crept onto his face.

"This shits getting too serious, come on let's go for a walk." Matty said.

//

Even without the sand being difficult to walk on I probably would have swayed due to the alcohol and weed taking it's full effects on me. Matty walked a little bit ahead of me and stared straight ahead, I wondered if he'd forgotten I was even there. He sat down in the sand without warning and continued to stare straight ahead. I sat down next to him staring at him instead of the ocean for as long as I could without seeming weird. I turned to face the ocean now, it was so beautiful.

"Matty, about the other night..." I began, still not looking at him, "I'm really-" and before I couldn't finish his lips were pressed on mine. He kissed me long and hard. He lay me down in the sand and moved so he was on top of me. His hands touched all over my body. I grabbed onto his black curly hair. He stopped kissing me and pulled away slightly.

"Man I'm so high," he said, I laughed a little. "I think I love you." The words poured out of his mouth. I suddenly struggled for breath, my heart was racing. He grinned and then placed his lips back on mine once again.