// SEX //

"It's kind of messy, sorry darling." Matty said as we walked into his flat that he shared with George. He was right, it was messy. It was nice though, nicely decorated.

"Do you want a drink or something?"

"Uh yeah sure, anything will do."

He grabbed a bottle of what looked like red wine from his cupboard and two glasses. When he said 'a drink' I naturally assumed water or tea or maybe even coffee. My head was still spinning and I was still slurring my words. Obviously Matty hadn't seemed to notice and he even seemed fine. But I'm guessing the fact that he drunk alcohol practically everyday on his tour that it would take him a while to be effected by it. I on the other hand did not take that long. He gestured for me to sit on his sofa and handed me the glass of wine. I sat down and took a sip of the wine. It burned slightly as it travelled down my throat. He sat on the other end of the sofa which made things even more awkward. I don't know why the situation felt awkward, maybe it's because I have a boyfriend and I should most definitely not be sat on Matthew Healy's sofa drinking red wine. This is so so wrong. I kept telling myself that I could leave any time. I wanted to, but something was telling me to stay. I took another long sip of the wine. I hadn't much warmed to wine but this wine, at this time, was just what I needed.

"You have a nice apartment," He smiled. The lack of noise in the room made my head hurt even more, the silence was deafening. He had finished his glass of wine already. I took another sip in a attempt to catch up with him.

"Uh do you have a toilet?" I asked,

He didn't answer me, he just pointed into the direction of, what I can only assume, was the toilet. I placed my wine on the coffee table and made my way to the bathroom. It was dark and I couldn't find the light switch and the room was spinning and I just needed to lie down. God I just needed to lie down. I have never craved sleep so much. I opened the door hoping that the light switch would be outside the door. Matty was stood there, in front of the door. I jumped slightly. He smiled.

"You've got a boyfriend anyway," it didn't make sense what he said, and I didn't quite know what he meant by it or why he said it. I stared down at his wooden floors unable to speak, drunk and confused. He placed his finger under my chin and lifted my head so I was facing him. He was so cool. He leaned in and placed his lips on mine. I could feel him smile as his lips crashed with mine. Now we're on the bed in his room and he's about to fill Finn's shoes, but I say, "no." He pulled away slightly, "I've got a boyfriend anyway." We were both breathing heavy, our lips just barely touching. My shirt just hanging off my back. His shirt on the wooden floor. He sighed and lay down on his bed, he patted the space beside to gesture for me to lie down. I lay down beside him and for a while we lay in a comfortable silence staring at his black ceiling. My thoughts wondered to Tommy and what he would have thought of this. I mean he hated Finn in the short time he knew him. He never really warmed to him, but I doubt he'd be very much pleased at the situation I'm currently in. Matty turned to face me.

"You've got a funny face,"

"Thanks." I said slightly offended,

"But I like that, because it still looks cool,"

I turned to face him now. The only light in the room was from the moonlight shining through the half closed curtains. I remained silent unable to think of anything to say.

"You're just girls breaking hearts." He whispered. "Goodnight Charlotte,"

"Goodnight Matthew," he leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose, before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

//

I woke up to the light shining through the slightly opened curtains. It took my eyes a while to adjust and a moment for me to realise where I was. I lifted the covers slightly to see that I only had underwear on. The memories from last night came back into my head all at once. I turned to see Matty still fast asleep. I lifted the covers off me and got out of bed, I searched as quietly as I could for my shirt. Please don't wake up. Please don't wake up. I grabbed my top and quickly put it on.

"Good morning darling," I turned to see Matty stretching, he was also just in his underwear.

"Hey you look good in my shirt." I looked down and to my complete and utter embarrassment I was in Mattys shirt. Oh god, kill me now.

"Oh shit, uh I picked up the wrong shirt." I started searching the bedroom floor for my shirt,

"Don't worry about it, keep it. It looks good on you." I smiled and then just kind of stood there awkwardly trying hard to pull Matty's shirt down as far as it would go.

"I'm going to go get breakfast, you want anything?" He asked. I shook my head no. He walked out of the room in just his underwear and it took everything in me not to stare. I looked for my phone and tried very hard to remember where I put it, although I was failing miserably. I checked under the pillow, on the bedroom floor, under his bed,

"It's on the kitchen table love." I turned to see Matty leaning up against his door frame holding a bowl of what I assume was cereal. Still in only his underwear. I nodded and walked past him. He didn't move as I walked by the door frame which made it incredibly hard to fit through it without touching him. He just stared at me and smirked. This was all a game to him. He had no idea how guilty I felt. I bet he didn't even know what guilt felt like. I walked over to the kitchen table and grabbed my phone. It was dead.

"Do you have a phone charger?" I asked him.

"Oh so she does speak in the morning," I rolled my eyes.

"I need to charge my phone."

"Oh really? I thought you used phone chargers for something else. What a revelation." I hated how cocky he was being, we glared at each other. God he could be such an ass sometimes. The front door opened and in walked George in the clothes he was wearing the night before. He took one look at Matty, then me, then back at Matty and smirked.

"Not what you think man, she's got a boyfriend anyway." George just laughed.

"Grace has been trying to call you Charlie." George said.

"Oh yeah my phones dead," he walked in to his bedroom then came back out with a charger for me.

"Thank you." I said, then glared at matty as if to say 'see was that so hard'.

"Hey how did you know that Grace has been trying to call me?" I asked George. He was doing something on his phone and he barely raised his head when saying, "she told me." I couldn't believe it, I mean Grace and George?

"Did you spend the night with each other?" I said walking closer to George. He didn't answer.

"You so did man." Matty said with a mouth full of cereal. George still didn't reply but the smile on his face said it all.

I went back into Matty's room and plugged my phone into charge. I looked for my clothes that were spread around his floor. I picked up my jeans to put them on,

"Aw and here I thought the fun was just beginning." Matty said, I rolled my eyes. He had a cigarette between his lips, he got a lighter from his bedside table and lit the cigarette. He was still in just his underwear. His body was so skinny but yet so masculine in every way. He moved closer to me and stood infront of me, looking right into my eyes.

"Don't do that." I said,

"Do what?"

"That."

He looked at me with confusion on his face.

"That look you do." He started laughing and moved a step closer to me. He inhaled the toxins from the cigarette and blew the smoke out in front of me.

"When the smoke is in your eyes, you look so alive." He said. Usually the smoke would have bothered me, but it didn't, it felt sort of comforting. Like there was a barrier between mine and Matty's lips. Which was exactly what I needed. But the smoke disappeared and his lips grew closer and closer to mine.

"Matty, I can't."

"Shh."