Chapter Eight - The Truth

"To reject a fated bond is to go against nature. When you go against nature, nature bites back. In the very rare chance that fated pairs choose to reject the bond, it's very likely that one if not both of them will fall ill. We do not see rejection very often, but in one of the documented cases, the omega died due to the strain being away from her mate put on her body. We recommend all mated pairs stay together, and seek counseling rather than separate should there be any issues with their bond."

— Public Health Announcement from Robert Bauer, Chief Medical Advisor to the President, ten years post Collapse

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Daisy's heat lasted five days.

Five days that she spent with Din, her phone silenced, so that she didn't have to hear Jeremy's incessant calls.

Five days that she spent mostly in his bed, in her nest, with him inside her.

He bathed her every night, cooked her breakfast and lunch and dinner, made her sit down and eat between rounds of knotting her. She slept each night curled up against his wide, solid form, safe, satiated, at peace for perhaps the first time in her life. And when she woke up in the middle of the night, sweating, her cunt sore and wet, he would croon, low in his throat, and slip back into her, fuck her through it with his arms wrapped around her waist, his face buried in the back of her neck.

She loved him more with each breath, with every minute that passed wrapped up in him. And for the first time in her life, Daisy dreaded her heat ending, if only because she would have to leave, would have to face Jeremy, would be forced to spend minutes and hours and days away from Din.

She woke up on the morning of the sixth day since her heat started, wrapped in Din's arms, her back pressed against the solid, warm wall of his chest, his breath hot on the back of her neck. There was no longer a fire raging in her core, and her cunt was not sore in the way it had been for the past five days, sore now from the sheer amount of times Din had fucked her.

Daisy tried to turn around, so she could see him, but the steel cage of his embrace made it hard. She eventually managed, only because he stirred, loosening the grip of his arms just enough that she could move, a low grunt echoing from his chest.

He was still sleeping, his features relaxed, that perpetual knot between his brows almost smooth, two strands of brown curls draped his tanned forehead, and his lips were just barely parted, letting out slow, steady breaths that fanned the top of her head.

When she moved again, trying to wiggle further up the length of his body, he groaned, crushing her to his chest, his chin tucking itself onto the top of her head.

"Settle," he grunted, still mostly asleep, his voice a low, rumbling vibration across her skin. "Where do you think you're going, sweet girl?"

"Nowhere," she answered, her voice muffled against the hairy skin of his pecs. "Just wanted to see your face."

"My face?" he huffed, his features twisting with confusion even in his half-sleeping state. "Nothing special there, baby."

"I disagree— you're pretty."

"Pretty," he scoffed.

"Mhm," she hummed, nuzzling her face into his warm chest.

He chuckled, being tugged closer and closer to full consciousness by the soft, little creature wiggling in his arms.

"How're we feeling this morning?" he asked, loosening his arms just enough so that he could grab her jaw, tilt her head up so she was facing him. Her dark blue eyes were clear, for the first time all week, and though her pupils did dilate when he lifted her face, they weren't eating the entirety of her irises anymore. Her skin was cooler to the touch, and they had both slept through the night without her needing his knot, or him needing to knot her.

Daisy wanted to stay there, in that serene bubble, for so much longer than she could. Now that her heat was over, she would need to go back to work tomorrow, would need to go back to her house, would need to see Jeremy...

"I'm okay," she said softly, "tired, sore... scared," she added at the end, in a little squeak of a voice.

Din's eyebrows pinched together, carving that knot between them, his lips tugging down into an almost comical frown.

"Why are you scared, sweet girl?" he asked, his voice low, his giant body going tense, like there was some unseen threat lingering around the room.

Daisy bit down on her plump bottom lip, her eyes manically searching his face. "I don't want to go home, I don't want to be away from you again, I don't want— I don't want to be with Jeremy anymore, but I— I know I have to talk to him."

Din's shoulders dropped, a slow exhale pushing itself from his chest.

"And what is it you do want?" he asked softly.

Her cheeks went a little pink at his inquiry, her gaze dropping before it slowly drifted back up to his face. "I want to be with you."

Din's heart fell into his gut, then leapt back up to beat rapidly in his chest.

She was so beautiful, so delicate, like the little flower that was her namesake. But flowers can only live, can only thrive when they're rooted in the ground. As soon as you pick one, take it for yourself, hoard its beauty, it dies— withers away, petals drooping and falling off, one by one.

Was that what he was doing? Hoarding her? Stealing her away and keeping her for himself?

But she wasn't just his mate, she was his true mate, she needed him just as badly as he was realizing he needed her.

Needed her.

Because when was the last time— ever a time— when Din had done anything beyond survive, beyond fight against what he was, what a horrible, vile place the world had morphed into?

Never before her.

She had him thinking about children, and places outside the Unmated Quarters, had him thinking about all the sunny, warm cities he wanted to take her to. She had him finding himself grateful for his biology, if only because it meant he could keep her safe, could relieve her of the pain of her heats...

And maybe that was just the beast, absorbing more and more of his form, but Din found it so hard to care, when she was staring up at him like that— like he was the only other being on the planet— telling him she wanted him, without even knowing of the bond that tied them together.

"You're sure?" he asked, letting his hand slide up from her jaw, to cup her cheek.

She nodded urgently, leaning her head into his palm.

"It doesn't feel right when we're apart, it hurts," she admitted, and Din's stomach twisted into a knot.

"That can't be the only reason you leave him, Daisy," he urged. He needed her to want to be with him for reasons beyond the effect of their bond. He didn't know if he could live with her only choosing to be with him because their bond put her in pain when they were apart.

"It isn't!" she blurted, scrambling to push herself onto her butt, wincing a bit at the soreness in her lower half. "I— It was wrong of me, maybe I'm a terrible person, but I— I only agreed to marry Jeremy because I was— I was lonely. And maybe the thought of being with an alpha who wasn't my mate scared me a little bit... but I— I'm not scared of you," her features softened as she craned her neck to look up at Din, who had sat up with her. "You make me feel safe, and I— you're kind, Din, and you're smart, and I— I like that you you're different than other alphas, I like that you don't storm through everywhere with this superiority complex, you're— you're gentle in a way, that was one of the first things I noticed about you."

And I love you, her brain screamed at her, thrusting the thought down that golden thread that was still blocked by that towering stone wall.

Din's heart was aching in his chest as he reached out to take her pretty face in his hands. "I want you to leave him for yourself, Daisy, not for me."

"I am," she nodded against his palms. "It's just, I guess I— I didn't realize how bad things were with him, until I met you."

Din exhaled sharply, tugging her to him by his grip on her face, a muttered come here echoing out of his mouth before he parted his lips over hers. He let go of her face only to pull her into his lap, one of his hands sliding up her spine, while the other cupped her cheek again, digging his thumb into the hinge of her jaw to encourage her to open her mouth wider for him, so he could lick a claim over her palate.

Oh, he loved her, loved her so much he felt overwhelmed by the weight of it. And if he couldn't say it in words yet, he needed to show her, show her how much he loved her by devouring her mouth.

Daisy kissed him back just as fervently, a clash of teeth and lips and tongues, her little whimpers echoing into his mouth and driving him to kiss her harder, while she clawed at his shoulders, trailed her hands up to tangle in his hair.

Her cunt quivered and clenched sorely, still too overworked from her heat to be able to take him comfortably yet, but a part of her wanted him to take her again, just so they could be intertwined in a more severe way, for words were not enough, fucking wasn't even enough, it often felt like she needed to be inside him, completely forged together. That golden thread in her head pulsed and ached, like it was the answer, but that unforgiving stone wall stayed put.

"You're not close enough," Din groaned into her mouth, seeming to echo her own thoughts as he wrapped one of his arms tight around her waist, crushing her to him as he licked into her mouth. "Need to be inside you again," he husked, his cock at attention, drooling against his belly, sticky precum coating the hair at his navel.

"Please," Daisy breathed out against his lips, nodding her head even as her cunt ached in protest.

"Don't want to hurt you," Din rasped, his words falling off into a groan as he sucked her bottom lip between his teeth, his hips shuddering beneath her.

"I don't care," she gasped, tugging at the warm, damp roots of his hair.

Din groaned, kissing her hard once more before he forced himself to pull back. "I care," he breathed out, resting his forehead against hers, the two of them trembling in each other's grip.

Din would rather perish than ever cause her pain again, and fucking her after five days of almost non-stop knotting, would hurt her.

He exhaled sharply, tilting his head to kiss her lips, lightly once more, then letting his lips trail up her face, to press a kiss to her forehead.

Din forced himself to get up, to pull on a pair of boxers, to tug one of his too big t-shirts over her head. He made them breakfast— eggs, sausages, toast— while Daisy sat at the kitchen island and watched him, the uncomfortable buzz of her impending departure swirling around the room.

He gave her Ibuprofen, to ease some of the soreness, and they ate at the island together while Daisy anxiously inquired about his upcoming flight schedule.

"I have to fly out to Denver tonight, but it's just an overnight, I'll be back the following evening," he assured her, his eyes flickering over to watch her push her eggs around, her features twisted with agonizing worry.

He would need to figure something out, some way to bring her on his longer trips, because the thought of her in pain, waiting here for him to return, made him want to abandon his job entirely, made him want to rip the Earth apart to keep her from feeling any more pain.

"Maybe I could stay here... while you're gone?" Daisy asked softly, her plump bottom lip jutting up between her teeth.

Din shook his head firmly, "This is the Unmated Quarters, Daisy, every apartment is occupied by an unmated alpha, I'm not letting you stay here without me. Going in and out of here by yourself is extremely dangerous," he said, his voice a low rumble.

Her head dropped in submission and Din felt a pinch erupt between his ribs.

"I'll get you a hotel, so you don't have to stay with Jeremy," he said, spearing a piece of sausage and putting it in his mouth.

Daisy's eyes lifted back to him and she shook her head urgently, "No, Din, that's okay, you don't have to do that, I'll just stay with my friend Erika... or something, I—"

"Hey," he said softly, interrupting her by reaching over and gently squeezing her chin. "It's already done. I'll call the Hyatt next to your work after this," he said, nodding toward his plate.

"O-okay," she stammered out, cheeks going pretty pink, "Thank you."

He made a gruff noise in the back of his throat as he chewed a bite of eggs, shaking his head. "It would be doing me a favor," he said after he swallowed, "I don't want you staying with him, and I certainly don't want you walking through the Tenderloin by yourself."

Daisy's belly swooped low at the protectiveness plaguing his tone.

It was a slight relief, that she did not have to go back to her house, did not have to sleep on the lumpy sofa, but it did not ease the fact that Din was leaving, did not absolve her of having to go speak with Jeremy. Both of which she was dreading, in equal measure.

When they finished eating, Din took their plates to the sink, rinsed them off then put them in the dishwasher, grabbed his phone from the kitchen island and immediately looked up the number for the Hyatt.

Daisy sat and watched him as he dialed the number, the large breadth of his shoulders, the towering height of his frame making her belly flutter, the low, confident rumble of his voice making her heart pound.

He booked her a room with a view of the water, a room with an alpha-sized bed, for a week, so she would have time, time to think, time to speak to Jeremy, even though she knew as soon as Din returned, she would beg him to bring her back here, with him. She'd tried to protest while he was on the phone, tried to assure him she did not need that big of a bed, did not need a view, but he just shushed her with a finger to his lips and a quick shake of his head, confirming with the person on the other end of the line that her room would be ready this afternoon.

When Din hung up, he placed his phone back on the island, then cleared the space between them, gathering her face in his hands and lifting it so she was facing him, her neck craned far back on her neck to look up the towering length of him.

"Do you need me to come with you, to talk to him?" he asked, running his thumb along the soft apple of her cheek.

"No, I— I should do it myself," she said, even though the thought was making her belly swirl with anxiety. She knew Jeremy wasn't going to react well, but he would certainly lash out more if Din were there.

Din nodded, his jaw ticking, but did not say anything else as he leaned down to place a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment as a shaky inhale rattled his wide ribs.

He had so much he needed to tell her, information she was owed, but he couldn't seem to get the words out when that golden band still plagued her finger. He would tell her everything, but only after she took that ring off, after she spoke to Jeremy, after she left him of her own volition.

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Daisy stared out the large window of her hotel room, nestled on the fifteenth floor, sitting on that far too large bed, her legs tucked underneath her as she watched rain pelt the bay, the water visible just past the towering expanse of the Ferry Building. The clock on the face of the building was just ticking past nine.

Din would be landing in Denver soon, if he hadn't already.

The tug in her chest was brutal, and that glowing thread in her head was pulled taut. She wondered if he could hear her from here, if that stone wall weren't still standing tall and sound.

She still did not understand how it was that she was sometimes able to hear his thoughts, sometimes able to send him her own. That wasn't a trait indicative of fated mates... even though that's not what they were.

She would have to look it up later, once she gained enough courage to look at her phone, which she knew held about twenty missed calls from Jeremy.

There was still a solid ball of guilt weighing down her core, as much as she'd tried to push it away, reason with it, it still lived there, taunting her. Even as it became clear that the two of them were not what was best for each other, not a match in any way apart from the golden ring that still burned her finger, she'd made a promise to Jeremy— signified by that mocking ring— and she had broken that promise, torched it, blown it to pieces, by loving Din.

But loving Din had been inevitable, fated since their very first encounter, before then really, if she was being honest with herself, she had loved that voice that came to her in her dreams since she was a child...

How was she supposed to explain that to Jeremy without sounding insane? Without hurting him even worse than this breakup already would?

Sorry Jer, I've actually loved this man, this invisible man that has spoken to me through my dreams since I was thirteen years old. That man is Din, can you believe it?

Rain slammed against the window as a gust of wind howled through the palm trees lining the Embarcadero, and Daisy shivered, even though it was warm in her hotel room, the heat cranked to a comfortable sixty-eight degrees, there was a chill deep in her bones, one that she knew she would not be relieved of until Din was back, until she garnered the courage to speak to Jeremy.

She grabbed one of the pillows from near the headboard, crushing it against her, resting her chin atop it as she continued staring out the window, waiting, waiting for Din to return, waiting for herself to find that courage, always waiting.

It seemed some part of her had been waiting for quite some time, ever since the first night she heard his voice in her dreams.

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A little over twelve-hundred miles away, Din was pacing his own hotel room, the tug in his chest nearly as brutal as the bitter guilt that was swirling through his core.

He'd left her alone, in that lonely hotel room with the too big bed, left her alone without telling her anything true, any of the screaming things echoing in his head.

She was willing to leave Jeremy to be with him, was willing to go speak to Jeremy by herself, and Din was so selfish, so fucking self-involved, that he was making her do all that before he told her the truth.

The thought made him sick.

He should have told her the truth, should have told her everything before he made her go speak to Jeremy, to absolve her of the guilt he knew she was wrongly harboring. Guilt he should be shouldering for not being honest with her... oh god, his sweet girl.

He was a disgrace, a sick, pathetic man. How could he ever deserve her when he'd hidden the truth from her all this time?

He didn't know what had snapped awake in his head, why it was that he suddenly realized how utterly wrong he had been, but it was of extreme inconvenience that it happened while he was over a thousand miles away.

He needed to tell her now, before she spoke to Jeremy, before any more wrongly placed shame flooded her perfect form.

He wasn't set to fly back to California until six tomorrow evening, but that was too long from now. She would see Jeremy tomorrow morning, at her office, would probably speak to him later that evening.

Din's heart pounded, heavy and off-beat in his chest as he dialed the number for his airline, the ringing only working to heighten his anxiety as he continued pacing his cramped hotel.

Maybe he'd gone mad, maybe he was all beast now, but he knew he would hate himself, loathe himself far more intensely if he did not get to her before she spoke to him. He'd had so many opportunities to tell her the truth, all five days she spent in his house during her heat, the entire expanse of this morning before he dropped her at the hotel, each and every moment that he'd spent with her had been riddled with deception. His true mate.

All of the excuses he'd made for himself, all of the bargaining he'd done in his head, all of it had dissolved away just as soon as he'd gotten his plane into the air, and he'd had to fight himself not to turn the thing around, not to lie to traffic control that there was something wrong with the plane so he could run back to her.

The only thing he'd thought about during that two-hour flight was how horrible he had been for keeping their bond a secret from her. Forcing her to break things off with Jeremy before he would give her the truth. Like it was some kind of reward, some kind of leverage over her.

That was something the brutalist pigs of his designation would do... use a bond as leverage, use it to control, lie about it until the situation was to their liking.

When the line finally stopped ringing and put him through he told the operator he had a personal emergency to attend to, that he needed to get put on the next flight to SFO, that they would have to find another pilot to take over his scheduled flight tomorrow evening, all while his heart pounded achingly in his chest, all while guilt swirled like bitter, viscous molasses in his core, all while that tug brutally yanked on him, urging him back to her.

His mate, his mate, his mate.

"Um, okay, it looks like we have a seat available on the next flight to SFO, but it takes off in thirty minutes," the woman on the other line said, her voice lilting into something slightly annoyed.

"Put me on it, I'll be there," Din said, grabbing his suitcase from where he'd dropped it next to the bed and propping his phone to his ear with his shoulder, already exiting the room with long, hurried strides.

"Are you sure?" she asked, "we have five people on standby waiting to board this flight, there's another one at midnight I could put you on—"

"Put. Me. On. The. Flight," Din ordered, his voice slipping into that demanding alpha tone that he normally abhorred using.

"Alright sir," the woman said, scrambling now, and Din did feel marginally bad for speaking to her that way, "my apologies, you're added to the manifest. I'll call in to the desk to let them know, but I cannot guarantee that they will wait for you if you are late."

"Thank you. I'll be there," Din said, ending the call and stuffing his phone into his pocket.

He hailed a cab that was dropping off a couple at the hotel and clambered inside before the man had even grabbed their suitcases from the trunk.

It was a twenty-minute drive to the airport, which only gave him ten minutes to get to the gate.

But Din was determined to get on that plane.

__________

The rain did not let up, it came down harder as the night dissolved into the early morning, hammering against the window like thousands of tiny stones, keeping Daisy fighting to fall asleep.

As if the tug in her chest, the aching in her core wasn't enough to keep her awake.

She groaned, grabbing one of the extra pillows and tugging it over her head, trying to drown out some of the sound. It was so much harder to sleep without Din after being wrapped up against him for the last five nights. The bed was cold and too big for her measly body heat to warm up the sheets properly. Every time she moved her feet, trying to get into a more comfortable position, the frigid temperature of the sheets would bite at her skin, and force her back into her former position, the tiny fragment of the bed she'd managed to warm up.

She hadn't had the courage to check her phone yet, so she didn't even know if Din had landed safely, she was just relying on that tug in her chest to let her know he was still out there, too far away from her.

What a delicate, terrifying thing it was, leaving your heart in the hands of someone else.

Daisy rolled over again, trying to get comfortable even as sleep continued to elude her, smashing that extra pillow against her ears as the rain devolved into a rapid banging.

The banging continued, so much louder than it had been only a moment ago, and Daisy's eyes peeled open, to look at the window, to make sure the wind was not blowing the glass pane into the room, which seemed impossible, but is surely what it sounded like. The curtains were still, and so she closed her eyes again, relishing in the fact that tug had seemed to suddenly dissolve, no longer yanking mercilessly at her chest as it had been for the past several hours.

It wasn't until she heard the muffled sound of her name that she realized the banging was coming from the door, not the window, and the tug was no longer yanking at her because it was Din's voice calling her from the hall.

Her heart jumped in her chest as she burst out of bed, running across the room to the door, which was shaking with the force of his knocking.

Had something happened? Why was he back so early? Was she dreaming?

Daisy unlocked the door and tugged it open, all those thoughts in her head stumbling to a stop as she craned her neck to look up at him.

He was breathing hard, his wide chest shaking with the force of his inhales, almost like he had run all the way here, from Denver. He was still in his flight uniform, a dark blue jacket with four gold stripes around the sleeves and at the top of his shoulders, a wing pin was fastened on the breast of the jacket just above his name plate: D. Djarin. And he was soaking wet, his white button up beneath his jacket was nearly translucent, sticking to his chest, his sopping wet hair was dripping onto his face, which was dotted with beads of water, like little crystalline freckles.

"Din," she choked out his name, her gaze searching manically between his eyes, "what are you— I thought you wouldn't be back until tomorrow night..."

Din swallowed hard, Adam's apple bobbing in the thick confines of his throat, his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, while his warm eyes traced her face, his chest still heaving in that frantic manner that made Daisy a little nervous.

"I got an early flight back, I— Daisy, I have to tell you something," he exhaled, reaching up to push his sopping hair off his forehead.

"Okay," she said softly, pinching the hem of her shirt between her fingers, beginning to chew on her bottom lip as her stomach twisted into a knot in anticipation of whatever it was that he was about to say, whatever was important enough that he had flown all the way back home, had knocked on her door at one in the morning.

"Daisy," he said softly, just like he had in all her dreams. He took a small step toward her, then seemed to stop himself, his big ribs rattling as he let out a trembling exhale, his body swaying in front of her, like it was of great effort that he was still standing.

"Daisy, I'm your mate."