TWENTY-FOUR

Olivia helped with Charlotte overnight before going back out and laying on her lumpy couch. She didn't exchange words with Amanda as they worked side-by-side to take care of their child, and Olivia knew it was her fault. She wanted to get pregnant so badly that she was messing up her own relationship. If only she had kept her mouth shut, she wouldn't feel like her relationship was falling apart overnight.

"I'm sorry that I woke you up," Olivia whispered as she walked from the bathroom. She had snuck in successfully to grab her clothes and take her shower, but the hairdryer had awoken her fiancee.

"Can you take today off so we can talk?" Amanda asked, her arms wrapped around a snoring Charlotte.

"We can talk tonight... I just got back to work and I can't be missing more time."

"You can't take more time off because of our honeymoon or maternity leave?" Amanda snapped, her voice a little colder than she wanted it to be. Olivia kept her eyes down as she tucked her blouse into her slacks.

"There won't be maternity leave. I'm going to give up on my want to carry our baby so we can stay together. It probably isn't meant to be, anyway. I don't have good luck with stuff like that," Olivia replied, her eyes never lifting to meet her fiancee's eyes.

"Liv-"

"I love you and Charlie. See ya later," Olivia spoke, as she walked to her full-length mirror. She quickly grabbed the blazer from the corner before leaving the bedroom.

///

When Olivia walked into the squadroom, her office light was on and Fin was placing a bag on her desk.

"What are you doing?" She asked quietly as she entered her office. Fin jumped slightly from hearing her voice before turning to face her.

"I know you are having a rough time, so I got you a bagel and coffee... Enjoy," He replied awkwardly. Olivia looked at the bag and to-go mug before looking at his face.

"T-thank you," Olivia whimpered, her eyes filling with tears.

"Don't cry, Liv. It isn't that big of a deal, just food and coffee," Fin spoke as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm just a mess. I'm sorry. Thank you," Olivia sniffled as she quickly rubbed her eyes to get rid of the tears.

"Don't apologize. We didn't finish our conversation yesterday. What's really happening?"

"Nothing is happening. I decided that I'd rather miss out on an experience instead of losing my fiancee and daughter. Eventually, I'll get over the feelings of loss and just be back to myself," Olivia replied bravely. She stepped forward and pulled Fin into a tight hug.

"Baby girl-"

"I love you, Fin. Thank you for the bagel and coffee... and for listening to me. Now, please go to your desk so I can calm myself down," Olivia breathed, her arms still wrapped tightly around Fin.

"If you need me, just holler. Okay?"

"Will do."

///

Olivia didn't go home that night or the night after. She sent a text to her fiancee informing her they had a case and would be pulling long nights for a while. Olivia would order food and have it sent to the apartment so Amanda wouldn't have to cook, but that was the extent of her contact. 

By the time Thursday came around, Olivia had to go home and get new clothes. Nick went home on Tuesday night and Fin went home on Wednesday, so it was her turn.

"Olivia?!" Amanda called from Charlotte's nursery. Olivia took a slow breath and frowned as she shut the apartment door and locked it.

"Yeah, it's me," Olivia replied, turning around slowly and moving back towards the nursery. Amanda turned quickly from the changing table and locked eyes with Olivia.

"I didn't think you'd be home so soon... I would have cleaned up a bit and-"

"You've been here alone with our baby. I didn't expect the apartment to look any different from what it does. Uh, I just came home to shower and get new clothes."

"Can't you stay the night? We could have dinner together and talk-"

"I think it's for the better that I go back to the precinct. We probably both need more time to cool down," Olivia sighed, as she walked over and pulled the full garbage bag from the can sitting beside the changing table.

"I think we need to talk!" Amanda exclaimed as she followed Olivia out of the nursery and into the kitchen. 

Olivia quietly pulled the bag from their other garbage can and headed to the door so she could take them to the chute.

"DON'T JUST WALK AWAY!" Amanda yelled as Olivia's hand touched the doorknob.

"Amanda, I'm not leaving right now. I have to take this down to the garbage chute. Then I'll come back and shower. If you want me to take care of Charlie so you can relax, I can. But I have to go back to the precinct and work on the case. Okay?"

"You threw the whole baby thing at me without prior notice! I kinda just assumed that Charlie would be an only child, or I'd carry another baby and we'd be done. I never thought that you'd ever want to be pregnant, since you haven't been before!" Amanda exclaimed.

"There has never been someone that makes me want kids like you make me want kids. This morning, I told you I'd give up my wants just so we could be together. I plan on doing that because I want to be your partner through life and a mother to Charlotte. Just give me a little more time to get past the disappointment, and I'll be fine. There will never be a mention of this again, I promise," Olivia replied.