The Flood

The sun was just beginning to set, casting long orange shadows across the quiet neighborhood. Mike didn't even think about what he'd say. He just biked straight there, fists clenched on the handlebars, jaw tight, heart beating like a war drum in his chest. When he reached the Byers' porch, he didn't hesitate. He knocked. Harder than he meant to. Then again.

The door creaked open, and Jonathan looked out, surprised, "Mike? You okay?"

Mike nodded stiffly, though everything in him screamed no.

"Is he here?" he asked, breathless, eyes wild with something between desperation and anger.

Jonathan hesitated for a second, then stepped back, "He's in his room. But... just—go easy on him, okay?"

Mike didn't answer. He was already halfway down the hall.

Will was sitting on his bed, knees pulled up to his chest, headphones on. His sketchbook lay untouched beside him. He didn't look up until Mike swung the door open.

Startled, Will yanked off his headphones, "Mike? What-...what are you doing here?"

Mike shut the door behind him and leaned against it, hands shaking, "I can't do this anymore, Will."

Will tensed, "What—what do you mean?"

Mike stepped closer, "I mean this silence. This wall you've built between us. I know I hurt you. I know I messed up. But you won't even let me try."

Will looked down, "I am letting you try."

"No, you're not," Mike snapped, voice cracking. "You show up to school like a ghost, you won't look at me, you won't talk to me, and then when I do talk, you walk away like I'm nothing."

Will flinched like he'd been struck, and Mike immediately regretted his tone—but he couldn't stop now, "I've told you how I feel. I've said it. I love you, Will. I love you and I'm not ashamed of it. And I know you're scared...god, I'm scared too...but you're pushing me out and I'm drowning in it."

Will stood, voice rising in defense but shaking, "You think this is easy for me? Mike, you outed me. You told El. You told everyone. I didn't get a choice!"

That hit like a punch to the gut. Mike stepped back, eyes wide, "I didn't mean to—"

"But you did! And now I'm the freak again, and I hate that it feels like it's my fault for ever letting myself believe you might actually care." Will half-shouted.

Mike's voice cracked, tears finally spilling, "I do care. I've never cared about anyone like I care about you. And if you're angry, if you hate me, if you never want to talk to me again...fine. But at least tell me you don't feel the same so I can stop hoping."

Will's expression wavered—hurt, angry, scared, overwhelmed. But his eyes betrayed him. They were full of longing. Of grief. Of everything he hadn't been able to say.

He didn't respond.

Mike shook his head, his voice barely a whisper now, "Say something. Please."

Will looked away, "I can't."

And for the first time, Mike didn't know what to do. So he stood there in the quiet. Two boys. A room between them. A love neither of them knew how to carry. Will kept his back to Mike, arms wrapped tightly around himself, staring blankly out the window. 

Will's voice, when it finally came, was quiet, "I don't want to say something I can't take back."

Mike stepped forward. Not close, not enough to make Will flinch, but enough to show he wasn't walking away, "Why not?" he asked, voice raw, "You think I'm gonna disappear if it gets messy?"

Will slowly turned around, his face pale and tear-streaked. He looked so young in that moment—too young to be carrying this kind of pain, "Because if I say it, Mike... if I say what I feel—really feel—and then you change your mind again, or go back to her, or pretend none of this happened..."

Will swallowed hard, "Then I won't survive it."

Mike's eyes widened, and his chest ached. He stepped forward, gently this time. Not pushing, not asking. Just there.

"I'm not going back to her," Mike said firmly, "I told El the truth. We ended it. I couldn't keep lying...not to her, and not to myself."

"You say that now," he whispered, barely meeting Mike's gaze, "But what about when this stops feeling new? When it gets hard? Or when people start talking?"

Mike stepped closer, jaw clenched, "I don't care what people say."

Will shook his head bitterly, "You do, Mike. You've always cared. You flinch when people call me weird. You act like you're not ashamed of me, but you are. You're scared of what this means. And you didn't even tell me how you felt until everyone already knew."

Mike stared at him, wounded, like the words had torn through something he hadn't even known was vulnerable, "That's not true," he said, but his voice was too soft, too unsure.

Will let out a short, bitter laugh. "Isn't it? Because it feels true, Mike. It feels like I've been waiting years for you to see me, really see me...and when you finally do, it's only after I break. After I scream. After I run away."

Mike took a step forward, but Will stepped back.

"I didn't know how to deal with it, Will!" Mike snapped suddenly, voice cracking under the pressure, "I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know how to say it. I was confused and scared and-..."

"So was I!" Will cut in, louder, "I've been confused and scared my whole life! But I didn't have the luxury of ignoring it. I didn't get to pretend I was just normal. You had El. You had the safety of pretending. I didn't have anyone, Mike."

Will was trembling now, fists clenched at his sides, eyes wet and full of fury, "Do you know how fucking lonely it's been? Watching you fall in love with her, telling myself it was fine, that being your best friend was enough. That you'd never love me back. And now you show up and say all the things I've dreamed about hearing, like that's going to fix what you broke?"

Will took a deep breath and continued, letting out all of his feelings in one go.

"You don't get to come here and say you love me, Mike. Not when it's convenient. Not when the fallout already happened. I needed you then. When it mattered." Will's tone was filled with hurt, "But you weren't there. You disappeared when I was drowning, Mike. When I was begging for you to see me, to fight for me. And you just... walked away. Like I was some kind of problem you didn't want to deal with."

Mike's breath hitched, like the words had punched him in the chest.

"That's not fair," he whispered, voice breaking and tears falling down his face, "I was scared. I was trying to protect you in my own stupid way."

Will laughed bitterly, a sound that didn't belong anywhere but somewhere broken, "Protect me? By pretending I didn't exist? By telling everyone what I wasn't ready to say? By making me out to be the freak? I've always been the freak. You've never had to feel that way. You DONT get it."

"You think you were scared? You don't know what it's like to live in a body that feels wrong. To have everyone look at you like you're broken. To want to scream for help but not have the words. To lose yourself piece by piece and have the one person you thought would save you choose her over you." Will rants, wiping the tears from his face.

Mike swallowed hard, eyes glistening, "I didn't choose her over you," he said, voice barely audible.

"Then why wasn't I enough?" Will's words were like knives, "Why did it take you this long to come back? To finally admit what you feel? When I was already halfway gone?"

Mike's shoulders shook, tears streaming down his face now, "Because I'm a coward. Because I was scared of losing you and scared of what I felt. I thought I could control it if I kept it quiet. But I was wrong. So, so wrong."

"I'm so tired, Mike. Tired of being the punchline. The secret. The boy who was never quite enough. I don't know if I can keep holding on to something that hurts this much. You won't love me proudly, you won't want to deal with the bullying....the way people treat you differently because of your sexuality..." Will cries, hand shaking by his sides.

"You think I don't see it? The way you look over your shoulder before you even touch me? The way you pull back if anyone's around?" Will's voice rose, trembling, nearly a sob, "You're ashamed of me, Mike. And I can't do it anymore. I can't be your dirty secret. I won't."

Mike's face crumpled, his hands reaching for Will instinctively, "Will, no. That's not—"

Will's sobs only grew louder, his voice raw. "And what if you're never brave enough? What if I waste years waiting for you to be proud of me? Proud of us?"

Mike's forehead fell against Will's, his tears mingling with Will's, "Then hate me, scream at me, break me if you have to. But don't think I don't want you. I love you, Will. I love you so much it terrifies me. I love you so much I'd rather burn than let you think I'm ashamed of you."

Will's lip trembled violently, his breathing ragged, "Then show me." His whisper was sharp, desperate, "Show me you're not ashamed. Say it out loud. Say it like it's real."

Mike's voice cracked but rose anyway, breaking in his chest as he said it, louder than he ever had before,"I'M IN LOVE WITH WILL BYERS!"

The words echoed through the house like a thunderclap. For a moment, everything went silent except their uneven breaths. Will stared at him, stunned, tears still spilling. His hands finally stopped trembling, but his eyes were full of so much pain, so much longing, so much fear it hurt to look at.

"You don't get to take that back now," Will whispered, voice trembling, "You don't get to break me again."

Mike shook his head fiercely, still clutching Will's hands, "I won't. Not ever again. I'm done hiding, Will. Done pretending. If I have to scream it every single day for the rest of my life to make you believe me, I will."

Will looked down, shoulders still heaving. He didn't speak. He didn't forgive. But for the first time, the numbness cracked just a little.

I trust you...