Part 6

He was so at ease here with her, in this old, warm apartment on the top floor, he could talk and she just listened, 'I'm worried, Mel was drunk again, what if she dumps Bowie back on the street without bothering to call me or check with me?' all the snarky snaps had disappeared and so had her sarcastic boss, what's left was this lovely, concerned father, it was as if even his voice had gotten warmer.

'I don't think she'll do that again, and I know that you can never be sure with her, but think of Bowie, she obviously loves her mother dearly, so there must be something there that she does seem to do right?' she put her cup down and curled back up in her seat 'look, wait until the morning, call her, see what she says or doesn't say, I wouldn't worry but I would also call your lawyer first thing in the morning just in case, just let the dust settle for tonight, and get Bowie a goddamn phone or one of those trackers, anything that you can keep in contact with her or know where she is when needed'.

Noel let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding, he felt calmer already 'yeah you're probably right, it's just such a mess at home, Sara and I do little else but argue these days..'.

Caro bit her lip, don't say it, just keep your opinion about his wife to yourself, this is not the time nor the place, is it ever? 'well, it's not exactly an easy situation for you, to find out after 6 or whatever years that you have another child is enough to rattle anyone's brain, just think about how it must feel for Sara though..her idea of the perfect family with her rockstar husband and your 2 perfect kids in this perfect mansion has been shot to pieces, her world is shaking to its' very core right now, but she loves you, if she didn't she would have been long gone, don't you think? And you love her too, all you need to do is give her time and give yourself time as well, why don't you take her on some fancy romantic holiday, just the two of you? forget about everything and try to find a new direction for you and your family, Bowie included' she stood up 'more coffee? Tea? Wine? beer? Something non-alcoholic?'

Oh god she was so beautiful, she was talking about how to save his own marriage when his mind could think of little else but her, oh calm down Noel, 'a beer then' he smiled as she walked to the kitchen, unaware of the fact that he was admiring every move of her glorious body in the process.

She came back and handed him his beer and with her being so close, he suddenly saw a sadness in her eyes that he had never seen before, she sat back down again and got lost in her thoughts behind the steam of her coffee that curled its' way up.

'What about you? Are you ok? I'm sorry about this afternoon and Mel..calling you all these horrible things..I just didn't know what to do with myself..anyway tell me, what's wrong?' he put her on the spot, her eyes staring right into his, yep definitely sadness there.

'Nothing's wrong Noel, I uhhh..I..uhm, well it's just too complicated, I guess' she nervously sipped her coffee.

'What is? Come on tell me, what's wrong? Is it anything to do with that..' Noel tried to remember the name of the café owner 'Rob? Are you two uhmm..in a situationship? Or did he..uhmm..say or do something inappropriate, he seems pretty keen?' for the first time he started stammering in her presence, please don't tell me you two are dating..no way..he was quickly reassured when she frowned at his questions and insinuations.

'Rob is just a really good friend, nothing more..I'm fine..I..' her voice started trembling but then a tear escaped, he had never seen her cry and he didn't know what to do or say.

'You're obviously not, what is it, Caro?' he shuffled to the front of his seat to put his beer down.

'I received a letter today..my father died..' she blurted out as she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes,

'What? Oh god...I'm so sorry, I..what happened? was he ill?' he realized once again that he knew nothing about her personal life.

'I don't know, I just got this letter from a solicitor this evening and I...it's complicated..I can't believe I'm crying in front of my boss' she forced a fat fake grin as she got up and walked past him back to the kitchen, her soft perfume wafting up to him, that he found himself breathing it in like a drug.

'I like to think of you as my... friend, and friends tell each other everything, don't they? You know everything about my private life, and I know nothing about yours, you never even talked about your parents..' he said softly, her answer hit him right between the eyes 'you never asked..like I said a while back, I like to keep things professional, I'm not gonna burden you with all my nonsense, that's not what I do or what I'm paid for' she pulled a tissue from her bag to wipe her face and there it was again, that big forced smile.

'Anyway, so any ideas for that romantic trip with Sara yet?' she smiled through the remains of her tears, quickly changing the subject at the speed of light so she didn't have to tell him all about the horrible mess with her family.

Noel wasn't ready to go home, he would rather stay here with her, she wasn't in the least bit ok, she only tried to make it look like that, he was still none the wiser about the death of her father or how their relationship had been but knowing her, there was no point in forcing her, a "no" was a "no", end of.

'No, I'll be fine, promise' she held the door open for him, Sara had been blowing up his phone for half an hour, what was gonna happen if he decided to not come running at her beck and call for once? The apocalypse, that was what's gonna happen, but right now he didn't care, oh come on Noel, use your brain..she is living in your house with your kids, the minute you tell her to start being a mother and a wife instead of this impossible little princess, is the minute you can kiss your own house and the kids goodbye.

'Alright then I guess..but if there's anything, anything at all, you call me ok? Listen, why don't we do breakfast tomorrow morning? Maybe at Rob's place, get you out of the house, we can talk some more..?' to his delight, she nodded instantly, 'ok great, I'll come and pick you up at 9?', she nodded again 'I'll be ready, thanks for coming over and I'm sorry for the tears'.

Noel suddenly stepped up to her and put his arms around her, oh god he smelled absolutely lovely, his cheek pressed against hers, his warm breath on her skin 'You're hurting Caro, you've just lost a parent, cry all you want, I..care..deeply about you' the kiss he pushed on her cheek was unexpected, they had never ever shared a friendly kiss or even held each other.

He reluctantly let go of her as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket for the 100th time that night, he didn't want to go home to Sara, not now anyway, but he had to keep a level head about this.

To his surprise, Caro hadn't pulled back from the warm embrace, on the contrary, he had definitely heard that little sigh as he pulled her against him, and her hands that had softly caressed his back, her warm breath on his skin..no don't get too carried away, you're barely even friends, go home, give her some room, you're gonna see her in the morning, his heart did a little somersault just anticipating tomorrow morning.

'Uh..yeah..ok, good night' she forced another smile, 'try and get some sleep, sweetheart' he bit his lip and then forced himself to turn around, he gave a quick wave as he walked down the stairs to the front door. Sweetheart..had he really called her sweetheart? Her boss?? The notoriously sarcastic and difficult Noel Gallagher? Unexpected.. but she had no objections, none whatsoever.

'For fuck's sakes, Sara, what is the goddamn problem?? Caroline is my PA, ok? She knows everything about the situation with Bowie and her mother, and yes, last night I went over there to talk to her about some legal stuff to take Mel to court for child neglect' no he hadn't but it was all he could come up with, to stop this woman from screaming and lashing out at him and she actually did.

'Oh..' Sara bit her lip, 'yes oh! Now can you please start acting normal again? Because I've about had it with all this nonsense and all this hate you keep spewing at me'. He put on his jacket and turned to leave, 'you're leaving again?' was that a sadness in her voice?

'Yes I am, I promised to do breakfast with Caro this morning, and before you start running your mouth off, she only heard yesterday that her father died, so if you don't mind, I have better things to do than to stand around here and argue with you about things that are my responsibility, not yours, and for which I've apologized about a hundred times now, so stop blowing up my phone, you know where I am' he pushed his phone in his pocket and without further ado, he turned and walked out the door. 

He put up the collar of his jacket, the air was getting cooler and he would have walked the whole way to the coffee shop if only it wasn't so far, because he needed to calm down and get his mind straight, since last night he was more than convinced that his marriage was over, he didn't exactly want to step off this sinking ship, but..he really didn't need all this negativity and distrust, if all Sara could see or love was his money, then what the hell was he still doing in this marriage?

He had put so much effort into their relationship, even trying to involve her into his musicmaking, wrote so many lovesongs for her but she just ignored them all and flew off to Ibiza whenever she felt like it, taking all of her friends and the kids, leaving him alone in that enormous house for almost half of the year. Man up Noel, man up, Caro is waiting, worry about your own shit later, he put his phone to his ear as he got in the car, come on Mel, pick up, I need to speak to Bowie, see if she's ok..

The crisp autumn air greeted her as she closed the door behind her, it was the same street, the same air she breathed but still it all felt different, today was the start of a new chapter in her life, a chapter with a whole lot of newfound debt and one parent less.

She didn't know how much longer she could plaster that fake smile on her face, because right now she was on the edge of her own despair, and it was important that no one saw how hard she was trying not to succumb to the pain and the hurt, she hadn't slept a wink last night, her mind had been working overtime remembering and reliving that horrible childhood/adolescence of hers, all the beatings she took, all the loneliness as a child and adolescent...no Caro no, take a deep breath, they're not there to hurt you anymore, just calm down,'Oh' a dizzy spell took her by surprise.

Noel saw her sway and almost fall against the wall and alarmed he sat up, he quickly opened the door and got out of the car, dodging oncoming traffic, 'are you ok?' he ran up the little path leading up to the house.

'Sure, I just tripped on something back there' she pointed at something imaginary behind them, 'you ok?' she asked her own boss just to change the subject, while hiding behind her warm smile and the dark sunglasses.

'I'm fine, yeah..' he was a bit taken aback that in all of her distress she still made the effort to ask about him, 'how's Bowie, any news?' and just like that she had pushed away her own misery to put a warm blanket over his wounded heart and soul, Noel was a man who could find solace in talking about what he was struggling with, she was completely the opposite, she was taught from a very young age to keep everything in, to not talk about your fears or the hurt, the beatings she took for showing her emotions had taught her that valuable lesson, in the end all you could depend upon in this life was yourself.

'Is she ok? Did you hear from Mel?', she softly asked as she got in the car next to him, the doors hadn't even closed or Noel was launching into a little tirade about Mel and her silence, straight back to the rush of the day so she could forget about her own dark place, at least for now. 

Half an hour and endless London morning traffic later, they had arrived 'So basically, if I don't hear from Mel this morning, then I'm driving straight over there' he got out of the car and walked around the car to hold open her door, 'is that a good idea? Just give me the name of Bowie's school, I'll give the principle a call later on' she had the reasonable solution for everything.