12 - The Unknown

"Hey." The raven haired girl said softly as she carefully sat down on the bench, all the way on the other side. She didn't mean to intrude the girl's private space, which felt weird, because a month ago they didn't know anything about the concept called private space.

Camila didn't say anything and Lauren looked down at her lap. Her white dress had a few bloodstains on it. She realised she must be looking like she comes straight out of a horror movie. Her backpack stood next to her feet, on the grass. She realised then, that she'd been barefoot all this time. She reached down into a smaller zipped area of the bag and got out a pack of Marlboros she'd been wanting to smoke up all day. The pack was half full and an orange lighter was stuck next to the toxic sticks. She got it out, together with a single cigarette and put it on. Inhaling the strong smoke calmed her down instantly. She held her breath for a couple of seconds before exhaling again through both her mouth and nose.

When she looked over at Camila, she realised the girl had already been staring at her. Another puff of smoke made it's way out of her mouth, she raised her eyebrows. "Want one?" She asked. She'd never smoked in front of Camila,  having figured that it wouldn't suit the 'luxurious life' she pretended to live. Camila had already told her once though, that she'd seen her smoking before.

The brunette didn't reply, yet stuck out her hand, handpalm up. Lauren figured she'd want a smoke and gave the pack to her. Camila looked down at the small cart-box package before swinging her arm back and throwing it away in a swift motion. The pack landed in the lake, floating on the surface and drifting away from the shore slowly. "W-what?" Lauren mumbled, surprised by the sudden action. She stared at the brunette next to her with wide eyes. A strange grin played on Camila's face. "I've been wanting to throw those into the pool every time I saw you smoke in the backyard at night."

Lauren couldn't contain the soft chuckle that came out of her mouth as she turned her face away from Camila again and focussed her eyes on the floating red pack in the lake. "Epic timing." She said softly. A giggle erupted from Camila's mouth.

Lauren had then thrown the cigarette that she'd been smoking, into the lake as well. So much for saving the ecosystem.

They sat in silence for a while, staring out in front of them.

"Now what?" Lauren asked after some time, turning around to face the brunette. She was still sitting all the way on the other side of the wooden bench, unsure of how to act.

"Now.." Camila breathed out. A hand ran through her hair as she turned around to face Lauren as well. They stared into each others eyes before Camila closed hers and shook her head. "I don't know what to do." She said.

Lauren nodded empathetically. "I understa-" "No that's the whole point, Lauren. You don't."

The green eyed woman swallowed thickly, fidgeting with her fingernails. Camila was right. She couldn't understand what this would be like for her. "I'm sorry." She mumbled, looking down.

She listened to how Camila sighed deeply. The brunette shook her head again. "Fuck." She said. "I just lost.. everything. My husband will go to jail for- for a long time and I- I don't even feel bad about it."

Lauren looked up again and saw that Camila had turned around to face the water again. "He's- He's an asshole." Camila stammered. "He just is. I've always kept my fucking hand above his head. Always tried to protect him but- for what? Because he helped me? He helped me by- by giving me fucking drugs and.." She sighed. Her nails were digging into her own knees as she shook her head once more. "Fucking drugs.. I stayed with him for four fucking years for fucking drugs and.. empathy?" Lauren watched how her nails dug into her skin, making it red. "For fucking drugs. I stayed with him to be his fucking maid, his fucking- fuck.." She got up from the bench with a huff, swatting her arms around her wildly and before Lauren even realised it Camila jumped into the lake. Splashes of water made their way onto the grass. The young woman didn't resurface. "Camz!" Lauren called out, the nickname automatically coming out of her mouth in her panicked state. She rushed away from the bench as well and didn't even think twice before jumping into the water immediately. Camila had already come up again though and Lauren realised the water was only waist deep. Her bare feet were standing on the muddy lake-floor as she watched how Camila smashed her fist into the water, splashes hitting her in the face. Her dark-pink dress had turned about ten shades darker and so had her hair, which was sticking onto her face. Lauren just kinda stood there, in waist deep, muddy water, in a wedding dress that possibly cost more than she'd earned during the whole fucking operation.

Camila's eyes were suddenly focusing on her again. She was frowning, her chest was rising and falling quickly and rapid breaths made their way out of her mouth. She waded over to Lauren, gazing into her emerald eyes deeply as she did so. It reminded Lauren an awful lot of the day they almost kissed in Camila's pool. The memory woke up the sleeping butterflies and she shuddered. The brunette was standing in front of her, breathing fast as she placed her hands on Lauren's cheeks. Her eyes were darker than they'd usually be. Lauren didn't dare to look into them, but didn't dare to look away either.

She found herself wiping the mascara stains from Camila's face with her thumbs without ever shifting her gaze. Camila's eyes found Lauren's lips and Lauren just kept staring at the brunette's face.

"I don't know who you are, yet I still- I still feel like I do." Camila whispered. Her words had come out so quietly that Lauren had almost missed them. Goosebumps rose on her skin when she saw how Camila looked up into her eyes again, biting her bottom lip. She felt the the brunette shiver and placed her hands on the girl's waist.

"You know more of me than you think you do." She replied in a whisper.

She felt how Camila's fingertips grazed her cheeks. "Lo.." The brunette breathed out. "Are you.. are you, you?" She asked. Sunlight hit her face and she looked at Lauren's face with glassy eyes. Lauren felt how her fingers started tracing over her skin. Her eyes kept shifting between her eyes and her lips. "Please tell me you're you."

"I'm-" Lauren stuttered. Her throat felt thick and talking was difficult. "I've always been myself with you. I am me." She croaked out, giving the other woman's hands a light squeeze. "I'm me, Camz. I'm Lauren. The Lauren you know is right here." She guided Camila's right hand to her own chest and placed it near her heart. Camila's brown eyes followed their hands before she looked up at Lauren and the tiniest smile played on her lips. "And.. are you, you?"

"Oh.." Camila chuckled. "I've never been more myself than I've been with you around." She answered truthfully.

Lauren smiled. Camila leaned forward then and placed the softest kiss on her lips. The green eyed girl inhaled a bunch of oxygen through her nose as the brunette had leaned back again slightly, their foreheads touching as Camila sighed, her eyes still closed. "How will I ever trust you again?" She whispered, maybe more to herself than to the other woman, before wrapping her arms around her and pulling her closer. There they were, standing in the water, in each-others arms. Both of their lives had been changed forever that day. 'I will win back your trust' Lauren thought to herself as she inhaled Camila's scent. 'I will do anything to win back your trust'.

———

Three months later

It was March, the wind was blowing through her dark hair as she walked down the street, from the office building to the small café she'd been getting lunch at every now and then. Loud music blasted through her headphones, The 1975. He belly was rumbling. She'd been at the office, working on a report about the rising number of traffic accidents involving mobile phones. Office-work had become her thing now and she had to say she didn't mind it as much as she'd expected. Of course her action packed undercover work had been a little more challenging, but she didn't mind the calm atmosphere at work every day, and could actually incorporate her creativity into the reports, papers and articles she was ordered to write these days.

Her anxiety attacks had reduced drastically since she'd told herself she was going to calm her life down for once and she'd actually managed to make a few friends at the new office, which was still a part of the Miami Police Department, but the 'office' section instead of the 'agent' part. Another breeze blew through her hair as she neared her lunch-spot. It wasn't cold, since it never really got cold in Miami, but she was wearing a leather jacket anyway with a simple plain-grey t-shirt underneath it and some blue mom-jeans. She passed a couple of smoking teens and resisted the urge to go and ask for a cigarette. The last one she'd smoked, had been on that bench by the lake, with-

"No way.." She breathed out.

She was about to walk into the café, when realising who came walking out of the door and looked at her with two wide eyes. At first she wanted to turn around and run back to work, act like she hadn't seen her. But she was frozen in place, her heart catching up with her shocked state of mind and slamming against her ribcage, ringing in her ears.

"Lauren?" The familiar voice spoke up from a distance. The green eyes looked up again and guided themselves towards the brown haired beauty they'd missed staring at so much. "Oh my god, what are you doing here?"

Camila was smiling at her, much to her surprise. Lauren didn't know what she'd expected her to do. Maybe sucker-punch her, get angry or at least frown. Lauren had betrayed her trust after all and had put her husband in jail for 15 years, at least. But there she was, smiling, and Lauren kept staring at her face until realising after some time, that it was probably best if she acted like at least a bit of a normal human and that she should reply. "I- I um- I work down there." She mumbled, pointing in a random direction behind her. "At the office and I- I got- I sometimes get coffee and lunch here."

They were standing on the same sidewalk, yet awkwardly far removed from one another. Camila was the one taking a few steps in her direction, nodding in the meantime. "Ah yeah, it looks like a great place. Cozy inside." She smiled, running a hand through her long brown locks.

Lauren blinked a few times before nodding. "You- you come here often?"

A chuckle left Camila's lips. "Great pickup line, Lo." She said, the nickname rolling off her tongue smoothly. Lauren awkwardly shifted on her feet, momentarily looking down at her feet and fidgeting with the hem of her grey shirt before shaking her head. "Sorry.." She mumbled. "This is- this is weird and I'm being- weird. Sorry."

Camila smiled. She was wearing a simple pink shirt and some skinny jeans. "I- I'm actually glad I-" She stuttered, looking down and taking a deep breath. "I lost my phone that day at the- the thing.. in the lake- well you know.. and so I lost your number.."

Lauren's eyes widened. So this was why Camila hadn't texted or called her back. "Oh." She responded lamely. "I- I didn't know." Camila clasped a hand onto her forehead, letting out a short, surprised gasp. "Oh my god, you texted me. You texted me and I didn't reply and-"

"It's no problem." Lauren quickly assured her. "I just figured you didn't want to talk to me so I-" She looked down at her feet again, ashamed for what she was about to say. "I stopped texting after some time." "Oh." Camila said softly, a look on her face that Lauren couldn't decipher.

"How are you?" Lauren asked, changing the subject as smoothly as she could manage. "I- I mean how have you been holding up?"

"I'm-" Camila said, her smile present but then fading away slightly. "Well not gonna lie, I've been feeling pretty shit. But I've decided last week that I'm gonna get my shit together." She said, putting up her right arm and dramatically flexing the muscles that weren't really there. It made Lauren laugh. "I actually applied for a job here. There was a- a sign saying they needed a new barista and well I just filled in some forms and they said they'll send me an email." Camila said, she sounded lighter now and it made Lauren smile. "I know it's a simple job but- well I never really- I- I mean.. you gotta start somewhere, right?"

"That's so cool, Ca-" Lauren beamed, almost slipping out the affectionate nickname she'd had on her mind for such a long time. "T-that's really nice, Camila." She decided to say, correcting herself. "So I'll be seeing you around here on my breaks then?"

The brunette smiled. "Hopefully." She said, looking into Lauren's eyes for a second before reaching for her phone in her pocket. "Hey maybe- I mean only if you want to bu- but maybe you can put your number in my phone. We could- maybe go for a coffee sometime? Only if you'd like if course."

Lauren smiled right back at her, her cheeks heating up a little. "Yeah I think I'd like that very much." She said, her voice a little softer now. Camila handed over the phone and she put her details in, taking a slight risk by naming herself 'Lo' before handing it back to the brown eyed woman. She looked at the time then and figured it would be time for her to get a coffee and sandwich and make her way back to the office. "I have to get back to work in a little while. Sorry." She said, to which Camila shook her head and waved her hand. Her eyes skimmed down to the mobile device in her hand for a mere second. "N-no yeah, of course. I- It was nice seeing you, Lo."

Lauren's mind went nuts then and she couldn't function for a good five seconds before she smiled politely and held up her hand to wave at the brunette shortly. "It was nice to see you too."

They parted ways then, without a hug. Which felt weird. But it would've also been weird to reach out and hug the girl. She didn't know how to act around Camila. She hadn't even known the young woman would ever want to see her again and now she wanted to go and grab a coffee with her sometime? What the hell did that mean? Did it mean anything at all?

She figured she'd think about it later and would calm down her rumbling stomach first with a ham sandwich and a black coffee to go.

———

"Okay tell me more, dumbass. This isn't enough information for me to judge the situation."

Lauren rolled her eyes and gave her roommate a pointed look. "Luce, there isn't any more information to tell." Lucy shook her head and waved her fork in Lauren's direction dramatically. "Come on, there has to be."

"No, I'm being serious."

"Yeah well me too, come on. Did she have lovey-dovey eyes? Did she flirt with you? Did she at least check you out?"

"I- I don't know.." Lauren mumbled, getting yet another microwave meal out of the electronic box she loved so much. "I- maybe.. I don't kn-" "Jesus fucking Christ, you've lost you're game, Jauregui." Lucy said, leaning on the kitchen counter while she took a bite of the Lasagna she'd warmed up before it was Lauren's turn. "Where's that confide-" "I've betrayed her so badly, Lucy, I don't understand why she even talked to me." Lauren said then, her eyebrows furrowed. She sat down next to her housemate. "I- I don't understand why she would-" "You've been you with her, right?" Lauren stuck her fork into the hot mac and cheese and stirred it a little while she thought about the question. "Y-yes. I was me. I just- I had to lie to her sometimes. But not really about any big stuff." She said. "I hate that I had to lie to her though." "It was your job to catch the bad guy." Lucy replied, shrugging. "You did and now you go and get the fucking princess."

Lauren rolled her eyes before snorting slightly. "Seriously, the princess?" "Well, isn't she?" Lucy asked, smiling. Lauren shrugged. "I- I guess." She said, a wide smile on her face now that she thought about it. "She'd hate me saying that though. Independent woman and all, you know." And right at that moment, Lauren's phone buzzed.

"Oh my God." Lucy breathed out. "Oh my fucking God, I swear if it's-" "It's her." Lauren interrupted her, a nervous smile crept on her face as she stared at the text message on her screen.

Unknown 7:44pm: Hi busy woman, wondering if you have some lunchtime to spend with me somewhere next week? How about Thursday, same place same time? ;)

Lauren screamed internally and she was quick to send a reply.

Lo 7:46pm: I'd like that very much. See you then :)

"Oh I love a good love story." Lucy said from over her shoulder. 

Lauren smiled.

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