Chapter Three

I was surrounded by greenery, tall trees encompassed us and long grass whipped our covered legs as we made our way further through the jungle Jack told me to be careful about. So far, the only thing I was worried about were the mosquitos, my body no doubt already covered in tiny red bumps. I'd spent the majority of this walk, give or take an hour, just eavesdropping on the others. Kate and Sayid were mostly talking about the transceiver and how it worked, whereas Shannon and Boone were arguing most of the time.

I felt myself falling back a little from the group, my legs growing tired already, and as I looked on to the giant hills we'd have to climb, I knew I'd have to push through the ache my body felt. I hadn't noticed someone else had fallen back alongside me until they spoke.

"Nice shiner you got there." My head whipped to the side, eyeing Sawyer's gaze that fell upon the bruise on my cheekbone. It barely hurt anymore, my brain more concerned with the strain I was putting on my body. "You always get your nose where it don't belong, or are me and Mohammed just special?"

"I guess I just couldn't stand around and watch you get your ass kicked." I threw him a smirk of my own.

"Honey, I would've won that tussle and you know it." There's a glare in his expression now, but it was a playful one. I caught Kate looking back at the two of us, almost assessing our conversation though I was sure she couldn't hear it. Sawyer took notice of this as well, and seemed to take it as a cue to be annoying again.

"Okay! Wide open space!" He threw his hands up. "You should check the radio, see if we're good."

"We're not going to have any reception here." Sayid muttered, hardly glancing back at him as he continued walking.

"Just try it." Sawyer sneers.

"I don't want to waste the batteries." There was an edge to the darker man's tone now and I'm sure we all prepared ourselves for another fight to break out.

"Just check the damn radio!"

"If I just check... We might not have any juice left when we get to–" Sayid was interrupted by a growl coming from the distance. We all turned, my mind flashing back to the sound we had heard on the first night when the trees fell.

"Oh my God." I couldn't help saying and suddenly, I was lightheaded. The stress of the situation – the plane crash, the jungle, not to mention the stress I had been putting on my body, all catching up with me.

"What the hell is that?" I heard Boone ask.

"It's coming towards us, I think." Charlie said, and I knew he was right. Heavy footsteps were headed towards us, giant thuds on the ground. Whatever it was, it was big.

"Come on, let's move." Kate tells us before she's turning and starting to run. I watched them with black spotted vision, urging my legs to move, just MOVE – but instead they buckle, and the ground hits my knees harshly.

"Lana!" Boone shouts from a distance, the same time I swear I heard Sawyer's name being called.

"Leave them!" Sayid yelled out and just like that, our slowly growing friendship was over.

I fought through the darkness my vision was trying to create, urging myself not to collapse – not now, of all times. I could still feel the dirt on my knees, but then felt a strong arm come around me, pulling me up. Loud bangs sounded and I jumped on my feet, my vision clearing and my brain waking up. I could see the group stood just in the distance, all of them looking just past me and when my head whipped around, I couldn't stop the scream that left my mouth as I watched the huge creature fall in from of me. My mouth stayed open when I saw Sawyer's hand, the one that wasn't holding me up, holding a gun.

"That's... that's a big bear." Shannon spoke quietly as the rest of them joined us, all of our eyes glued to the white bear that laid just meters away. The grip on my waist loosened, but his hand never moved from it, staying there to steady me.

"You think that's what killed the pilot?" Boone asked, and we all look Kate and Charlie who were there for that.

"No." Charlie responded. "No, that's a tiny, teeny version compared to that."

"Guys, this isn't just a... bear. That's a polar bear." Kate told us and the longer I looked at it, the more I realized she was right.

"Yeah, but... Polar bears don't usually live in the jungle." Shannon pointed out and I had to give her credit for saying what we were all thinking.

"Spot on." Charlie glances at her.

"No, polar bears don't live near this far south." Sayid said, also pointing out the obvious.

"Well, this one does." I shrugged and moved away from Sawyer, feeling able to stand on my own. I couldn't help noticing how everyone stared at me, though.

"Did. It did." The Southerner points to the dead animal.

"Where did that come from?" Kate asked him.

"Probably Bear Village. How the hell do I know?" His eyebrows raised as he looked at her, his shoulders shrugging while he spoke.

"Not the bear. The gun." She corrected him.

"I got if off one of the bodies." Sawyer told her, putting the gun in his back pocket. I watched Sayid roll his eyes at the man.

"People don't carry guns on planes." Shannon said, a nervousness in her tone.

"They do if they're a US Marshal, sweet cheeks." He threw a tight-lipped smile her way. "There was one on the plane."

"How do you know that?" Kate asked, and for a second, I thought she sounded nervous, too.

"I saw a guy lying there with an ankle holster, so I took the gun. I thought it might come in handy. Guess what? I just shot a bear!" He throws his hands up with an incredulous laugh.

"So why do you think he's a Marshal?"

"Because he had a clip-on badge." He held one up. "I took that too. Thought it was cool."

"I know who you are. You're the prisoner." Sayid spoke and I inwardly groaned at the thought of another fight breaking out between them.

"I'm the what?"

"You found a gun on a US Marshal. Yes, I believe you did. You knew where it was, because you were the one he was bringing back to the States. Those handcuffs were on you. That's how you knew there was a gun." The Arab accused.

"Piss off." Sawyer growls.

"That's who you are, you son of a bitch."

"Fine! I'm the criminal. You're the terrorist. We can all play a part." He looked over at me, his smirk finding itself back to his lips. "Who do you want to be?"

He didn't wait for an answer, simply just trying to be an asshole, and as he turned to walk away, Kate grabbed the gun in his back pocket. I nearly choked in surprise.

"Does anybody know how to use a gun?" She asked, pointing the offending item at him.

"I think you just pull the trigger." Charlie said, his eyes as wide as mine.

"Don't use the gun." Sayid told her, a softness in his voice.

"I want to take it apart." Kate replied, tears sprung in her eyes. It's enough to make me let out the breath I was holding in.

"There's a button on the grip. Push that, it will eject the magazine." Kate followed Sayid's instructions and the magazine fell to the ground. She moved to pick it up, but stops when he speaks again. "There's still a round in the chamber. Hold the grip, pull the top part of the gun."

When the gun had finally been taken apart, she gave the magazine to Sayid and the empty gun to Sawyer. There was a tense couple of seconds before we began to make our way through the jungle again.

"Hey," A hand caught my arm and I was pulled a bit away from the rest of the group. "What the hell was that back there?"

Kate was standing there, a concerned look on her face as she stared at me. I decided to play dumb.

"The gun? He said he got it from one of the bodies–"

"You know that's not what I'm talking about." The look she gave me was hard and my throat felt dry when I swallowed. "Are you okay? Have you been eating enough?"

"Um," I couldn't help faltering, my eyes dropping from hers and I knew she'd caught onto it. "I think I'm just dehydrated, Kate. You know, with the heat and the sun, I don't think I've been drinking enough."

It's a lie I used constantly and one that no one seemed to believe, even Kate. I grabbed the bottle of water she held in front of me anyway and I watched as she eyed me taking a large gulp.

"You two gonna stand there gossipin', or are we moving?" Sawyer calls, standing with the rest of them as they waited for us. I started to walk towards them when Kate's hand caught my arm again.

"I'm keeping an eye on you until we get back." She told me and with the dead set look in her eyes, I knew she meant it. I watched her meet up with the others before we all began walking again. Boone looked back and caught my eye and I gave him the smallest smile I could muster.

*Flashback*

Bright lights met my eyes as they opened, blinding me slightly before I could realise my surroundings. I knew I'd been there before, in this exact room – the white walls, the ugly paintings, the look on my mother's face. She spotted my open eyes and bolted up.

"She's awake!" I'm sure she said it in a whisper, but in this room, it felt like she was shouting and I couldn't help the cringe I made. "Oh, honey, you scared us."

She said that every time. Every single time I ended up back here. She acted like it was a surprise, a surprise that her only daughter had ended up nearly killing herself again.

"They've booked a bed for you." My head jerked, looking towards the door of the room. My father stood there, like he always did – at a distance. His arms were crossed as he looked at me. "It's the same one you had last time."

"I don't need a bed." I sat up quickly, ignoring the pain that shot through my arm from the IV. I looked between the two of them with desperation. "I'm fine, I don't need—"

"Fine?" My dad's voice was raised now and there was a look of disbelief on his face. "Lana, you didn't eat for six days straight. How is that fine?"

"Christian—" My mother, my kind-hearted, naïve mother, tried to speak.

"She's killing herself!" His face was red now and I knew better than to even try to lie my way through this. "She's sick, Margo! She's SICK!"

He left the room straight after that and the door slammed behind him with a loud bang. My eyes met my mothers, but she quickly shook her head and followed after him.

The thing is, my dad was right. He may have been short-tempered and straight up horrible to me most of the time, but he was right.

I was sick.

And I was destroying this family.

***

We managed to get something on the transceiver a little while after that. There was a French woman pleading for help that had been playing on a loop for sixteen years. We all knew what that meant. No one was coming for us. But we also knew we couldn't tell the others. People were already panicking and this would just make it worse.

After spending the night in the jungle and more gun drama, we had eventually made our way back to the beach. I watched on as Sayid made a speech about what we needed to send out a distress signal. Pulling out a water bottle from my backpack, I watched as Kate made her way towards Jack, who was standing outside the makeshift infirmary. I took three large gulps of the warm liquid, and as I lowered the bottle, I caught Jack's eye.

He wasn't happy.

I prepared myself for a hell worse than this.