Phase Two: Luring Elena to the House

"What?!" shrieked Stefan, his eyes widening to previously unseen proportions. "Kidnap Elena?! Damon, please tell me you're joking? Or that even though you promised me you'd stopped drinking from druggies you lied?"

Damon chuckled deeply at his brother's total disbelief. "Bro, calm down, you might give yourself a heart attack. Oh wait... Anyway, yes we should kidnap Elena, and no, I'm not kidding or high. And I would never break a promise to you, unless it was a stupid promise. I wouldn't break the pot/crack/meth-head promise because now that I'm back to normal I realise how groos they tasted."

"Damon! Don't try to change the subject! Whay the fuck do you think kidnapping Elena is a good idea?"

"I thought you were over her."

"What the fuck, Damon? I am over her, that is SO NOT why I'm objecting to your ridiculous plan! I'm objecting because it is totally insane. I mean, who in their right mind would even consider it? Are you completely crazy?"

"Crazy for you, love." Damon replied, winking cheekily at him. Stefan attempted to give him a stony look, but he couldn't stop his face from softening.

"Love? Damon, honey, you're not cockney. You're not even English, so you can't pull that off."

Damon smiled at him.

"Oh my god, Damon! Stop distracting me from the real issue here: you thinking that kidnapping Elena is a good idea. Do you even have a proper plan?"

"Well of course! We text Elena telling her to meet us here because we have something to tell her, and that she isn't allowed to tell anyone where she's gone, because we want to make the marriage a surprise."

"Hmmm..... That might actually work...." Stefan mused. "And not telling Elena which one of us will marry her is a good idea: she always was a nosy bitch."