30; the fire in you

This is a new written chapter from scratch!

Just to clarify; there's hands dusting under the material of his thin shirt, there's lips against his own. Cold on his skin, warm in his heart. Elias doesn't remember how they started this, but he doesn't want it to end.

His eyes are closed in pleasure and he's needy in the way he kisses Jasper. He tastes sweet, addicting, and every time they part he chases his lips to get more. He knows he should question how they got here, but he can't help but want to stay in the moment- stay wrapped so easily around him like there's no start of him and end of Jasper.

Jaspers cold hands trail down, past the harder planes of his stomach and towards his groin. Elias feels something spark in him- fire, but not the dangerous type. They type that makes him shudder and pull away momentarily from the kiss, overwhelmed by the sensation.

"Jasper," the human manages to say, moan, as the blond hooks one finger in the loop of his jeans and pulls Eli flush against him.

Eyes open now, he can see the smirk playing across the blondes face. He's enjoying this, he loves the reaction and how the lust lights up Eli's eyes until the pupil overtakes the grey. He leans forward, eager to taste Elias again, to touch; one hand travels up to the back of the humans head until he's able to grab a handle of wavey hair at the nape of Eli's neck. He pulls, tilting the humans head back, allowing his throat to be exposed.

"Stay," he murmurs in a dark voice, and leans down, dancing his lips against the tight skin of his neck.

Eli's mind is a haze in the sensations. "What?" He asks, confused.

Jaspers mouth sucks lightly on the scar of Eli's neck- the only reminder of James attack a year and a half ago. "I said stay," he speaks in a velvet voice, his teeth slightly brushing Eli's delicate throat, "stay alive, say yes to me turning you."

Elias stiffens. From the words, and from how Jaspers tongue swirls over the pulse on his exposed neck. "Jasper-" he gasps, especially as his teeth edge ever so slightly into his skin.

It'll only take a little pressure, and a little venom, and Eli's life will change. "I want you with me," the blond vows, and Eli's heart stops as he sounds so sure of himself.

"But I won't force you," he also promises, kissing once against his pulse, and pulling away fully until they're not touching at all.

Elias feels his head rush and his heart thrum hard in his chest. He watches Jasper as he steps back, finally aware of their surroundings. The glass planes and dark wood of the cullen house is a welcome sight, but feels foreign in the way there's no light beaconing from the inside. Especially since it's night time outside.

Jasper walks through the back door feels like a stab of betrayal. Until he turns back, adoring that favourite smirk and calls, "come on darlin, stay with me." Before walking into the house, almost disappearing from view.

Elias steps once to follow him inside, to stay, when a branch being stepped on makes his body freeze. There's only one person who'd be lurking in the woods, one person who'd fit into the picture right now- especially as everything feels wrong.

He turns, swallowing his fear. He can't see her face, but he catches the moon reflecting in tangles of her red hair as she half hides in the tree lining of the Cullen yard.

Jasper, he wants to shout in alarm, to get help. But the vision of Victoria's attack, and Jasper being hurt, freezes his vocal chords. This is wrong, this is wrong, this is-

She steps forward again, a lioness edging to prey. He can see her now, all her bad intentions and vicious plans. Her eyes slide carefully past elias, to the house, and it makes Eli's whole body spark in heat.

"If you die and it's not by my hand," Victoria's voice is light and playful and it strikes fear into his heart. "I'll take my revenge in another way," she vows, and her eyes slide to the door where Jasper went.

"I won't give you the chance," Elias snarls, the heat purging faster to his skin. He feels like the sun trapped in a body, fighting to be let out. To burn.

Victoria laughs darkly, and moves into a more intimidating position of attack. "So be it," she hisses through sharp teeth.

Elias bares his teeth back, twisting his body until he's poorly copying the hunting crouch she leans into. There's a difference between them, she's feral and stone and bursting at the seams for a revenge. Elias is ruled with a motion to protect- no matter what, always protect.

There's fuel between his teeth and spark along his skin, and he merges them without fear of the consequences- be damned of anything but his urge to do what needs to be done. Protect Jasper. She comes at him, fast. He screams and the fire explodes out of him. He doesn't know if it hurts, if it kills him, kills her, he just knows it's the only thing he can do to try and stop her.

•••

"You look tired. Are you sleeping?" Bella Swans voice is both familiar in sound and tone- worries, sweet, protective.

Elias has head against the window, enjoying the vibrations that soothes his headache. He knows why she's asked- he'd had a long look in the mirror that morning. His eyes have bags under them, making the grey pierce anything he looks at. His skins pale and tight over his cheekbone's- though the prior is more the tumour than anything- and his hairs a mess of kinks and waves as it's long overdue for a haircut.

Elias runs long nimble fingers through his hair in attempt to sort it out, more than likely making it worse. "Not really," he admits as flashes of fire and red hair come to mind.

Bella's mouth twists down. "Are you having nightmares again?" She asks, hoping the boy will scoff and decline- but the way his shoulders stiffen tell her before he nods.

Elias sits up from the truck window- the vibrations are making his head feel worse now. He looks at the brown haired girls side profile as she drives, his words coming out through a tight grin to not worry her, "Nightmares, anxiety, insomnia, take your pick, they all give the same answer. Do you think I should start running head first into the wall every night? Knock myself out so I can sleep."

The brunette rolls her eyes. "How about you stay at mine? That will help, not being alone," she casts him a soft look in encouragement to hide her guilt, "it'll be like old times."

Old times. It's as if they're talking about the endless nights at Bella's house like it was months ago and not two weeks. Only two weeks, Elias thinks with a tinge of humour. Two weeks since that night at Carlisles house, two weeks of the Cullens being back in town. Two weeks that Elias spent hiding at home, mulling over jaspers words, his offer. Two weeks of nightmares every time he closes his eyes.

He implodes, he doesn't know who dies, who burns first, before he wakes up.

The human boy goes to say yes, but clamps his mouth shut as he thinks about it. "I don't think there's enough space in your bed for me, you and Edward," he huffs. To anyone else it sounds rude, but Bella knows when he's joking.

She reaches out and smacks his jean clad knee as she drives. "It'd just be me and you," she clears up.

The temptation is heavy, but it's outweighed by the knowledge that Bella will have to spend the night away from Edward. She'd already spent enough time away from him, and those months of her pale and lifeless face flashes in Eli's mind. He much prefers her face now- full of life and emotion. Happy.

"Maybe," he settles on, and as she goes to open her mouth to question him, he adds, "How was your night? Do anything fun?" He wiggles his eyebrows, "Get laid?"

Her instant reaction is a tut of disapproval and her cheeks reddening. Elias hides his grin in the collar of his baggy sweater- she was too easy sometimes.

"I read Wuthering heights again, made Charlie steaks. The usual routine. He's been asking about you a lot more, I think he thinks you don't like Edward, or the other way around," she speaks that part with a frown, her hands tightening as she turns the wheel down another narrow lane surrounded by the ever lush green forest.

Eli's grin is as cunning as a cats. "So he wants me over to see if I can scare Edward away? What a rude man, I didn't know he had it in him, I'm proud," he places a hand over his heart as he muses, "has he threatened to shoot Edward yet?"

"No!" Bella gasps, appalled at the idea, and it spirals Elias into laughter.

She watches him, at the way his skin seems to brighten and his cheeks soften in colour, a striking contrast to his eyes. His chest heaving in breaths full of humour. She likes him better like this- smiling and cunning. Without command she too finds herself laughing with him.

It's light and good and such a stark difference from the last few months that both of them forgot the world for a moment.

The laugh sobers up when a familiar building appearing from the trees surrounding them. Elias' heart goes off in a tempo like a drum inside his chest, chasing away the light feeling of his laughter.

"Nervous?" Bella asks rhetorically as she turns the wheel into the direction of the parking lot. She can almost feel the jolt on anticipation in his stomach.

"Nope," he chirps, his façade a poor one as his voice breaks. It's a effort to look away from around their surroundings, from searching for a familiar car. It takes a willing effort to not use his power to reach out and find the lack of heat around them. "As far as I'm concerned, the Cullens coming back have no impact on my life."

Bellas white teeth bite dig into her lip as she parks. "No impact you say?" she echos, twisting the keys to silence the roar of the engine. When she looks back, Eli's pokerface is carefully constructed that if she was anyone else she'd belive him.

"Absolutely," he agrees, bending down to grab the backpack at his feet.

"So the sight of Edward, Alice, Nate and Jasper waiting for our arrival at their car doesn't bother you at all?" she checks.

The grey eyed boy head lifts in quick instinct, smacking against the dash. He hisses out in pain; one hand coming to rub his damaged scalp, he looks up and out of the window and towards where he can feel their cold bodies.

Across the parking lot, the pale beautiful family is clear to Elias. Especially the blond boy, leaning against a silver volvo with a air of boredom. The opposite expression that strikes his features once he spots Elias looking.

Heat floods to Eli's cheeks. "I'm going to class," he rushes out, looking away from Jasper and hurrying to unbuckle his seatbelt.

"You don't have to run off. You can talk to them!" Bella persuades, grabbing his sleeve before he can grab the door handle. When he turns to look at her, his jaw is tight and there's a struggle in his eyes.

The pity she feels makes her sigh. "I know you want to Elle, you're just being difficult because you're afraid of being hurt again," her hand squeezes apologetically over his wrist, "give them a chance Elias. They miss you, they ask about you all the time."

Something sour stains his tongue the same time warmth floods his heart. He looks away from his sisters gleaming eyes, not wanting to see the disappointment in them as he whispers, "I can't."

Elias gets out before she can say anything else. The wet air of Forks washes away any remaining sourness in him as he walks towards the doors of the school. He pushes headphones into his ears to stop the thoughts overtaking his head. Screw the headache, he turns the volume to the max and pretends not to feel a pair of scolding eyes follow him inside.

In the last few months, school has become a sort of detached routine for Elias. He doesn't have to think about what to do or where to go as he walks, it's instinct. He knows his schedule by memory and with the routine he developed- no sleep at night, go to school, go to jakes garage to work on the bikes and homework, ignore his parents calls and head back to Bella's- he'd gotten his grade up to a B+ for every lesson.

It was honestly the only good thing he'd accomplished in the last few months.

He's in his first lesson, seated at the back, head bent over his book as he doodles, when the chair next to his scrapes against the floor. That noise, and the alluring masculine scent that's all woods and fresh cotten. It snaps Elias out of his daze like a slap.

He looks up, expecting the sight of Jasper but still can't help the way his heart flips as the blond sits down next to him, placing his own history books on the table. There's a soft curve to his lips, and Eli knows he's amused at Eli's deer caught in the headlights expression.

"Good morning Elias," Jasper says his name with a certain tenderness and excitement. Respect and praise.

It's only words, but it sends a shiver down Eli's spine like a soft caress would. "Good morning Jasper," he says back quietly, his own voice matching the other boys tone without meaning to.

Jasper swallows thickly, his adams apple bopping, Eli watches it for a moment before looking back up to Jaspers eyes. They're dark, like the sky at midnight, but still captures his attention without fault. They capture everything about Elias, in the way they run over him with a force that makes him breathless.

"You look-" Jasper starts, but the sound of the lesson starting shuts him up. He turns towards the front of the class, at the teacher, with a glare that could scare god.

Elias exhales heavily, looking forward too, trying to maintain his train of thought. It's hard, even harder then he remembers it used to be- those months apart from Jasper haven't dulled the ability of the boy making Elias melt. If anything it only increased.

It's a struggle to pay attention to anything but the cold body settled so close to his warm one. To not look at Jasper. It feels surreal, being situated in the normal classroom with Jasper back by his side. It was as if the last few months hadn't actually happened. Only the constant searing pain from his skull made him not slip into that state of mind.

You're still dying, he still left you, he broke every promise he made.... the harsher part of his mind reminds, before another voice commands, he came back too, he's trying for you, he still wants you.

"I'm glad you're back at school Elias," Angela Weber's voice breaks Elias away from where he'd been blanking out, starting at the table. He looks up at her as she holds out one of the marked test papers she's giving out for the teacher. "And well done on the grade."

He nods at the dark haired girl, offering a polite smile, "Thanks Angela."

He reaches out with his left hand to grab the paper, the sleeve of his sweater riding up. Once he has it, he quickly retracts his hand so his medical ID isn't on show. Angela doesn't catch it if the way she smiles once more and walks to another table is anything.

The blond next to Elias, on the other hand, isn't the same. His eyes cloud in confusion as he states just loud enough for Eli to hear, "your friends don't know you're dying."

"I..." Eli chokes out, looking at Jasper, to Angela, mulling over his words. "No, I mean-" the words can't come out coherently as Eli's mind turns into a whirlpool.

I like how he says it, is Eli's dominant thought. Everyone else is hesitant to admit he's ill in the first place, and when they do admit it, the sentence 'we'll figure something out' comes afterwards. No one in his life had accepted his diagnoses... but Jasper said it so plainly; sure, his voice was made of steel and he hated the way the words were true, but he said it simply. Elias was dying in the purest forms... Jasper had accepted it, and moved onto the next concept to change the truth. Change Elias.

You're always a soldier, aren't you? Elias goes to say, but the worry eats away his humour. Jasper only thought like that- clinically- when he was making battle strategies. When he wanted to not feel.

How does me dying make you feel? Elias wants to ask, but knows the answer from the look in the blonds eyes, it's driving me crazy.

"They aren't my friends," the grey eyes boy says finally, they haven't been my friends since I cut them off last year, when I said yes to ending my life for you, "they're just nice people I socialise with some times."

Jasper leans closer to Elias, making the humans heart skip. Strands of soft blond hair fall into his face as he muses, "Am I classed as a friend, or just someone who you socialise with?"

The words come out Eli's parted lips with a certain tender heat, "you already know what you mean to me."

"I know," Jasper smiles in satisfaction, he wasn't the only boy who liked to tease, "I just like hearing you say it darlin."

"You know what goldilocks-" Elias starts through fake irritation, lost in the game of it all, but the sight of their teacher walking directly to them shuts him up and straightens both of the boys out.

Elias watches with interest as the teacher leans down to speak quietly to Jasper, probably about the work he'd missed in the months away. Jasper stiffness in his seat, his black long sleeved shirt tightens over his lean shoulders.

"Yes ma'am," Jasper responds to her through clenched teeth. The teacher doesn't notice his discomfort, or doesn't seem to care- most humans don't like getting that close to vampires. They didn't know they're next to a vampire exactly, but a small part of them knows they don't want to be close to someone so beautiful and so unnatural.

As soon as she's gone, Elias shuffles his seat closer to Jaspers, all the way until Jaspers cold blue jean clad thigh is pressed against his left warm one. The touch makes sparks light up his legs, groin and stomach- especially as it reminds him of the beginning of the nightmare he has- the only part he likes. Jasper turns back to Eli, leaning into him more before taking in a large breath of his numbing scent.

"Thank you," he utters, exhaling in relief. His eyes close momentarily as he breathes, and Eli has a wave of inspiration to write about the curve of Jaspers eyelashes, the way he leans desperately into him, in one of his black books.

He stores a few fragments of a poem that start to form before he asks, "I still smell the same then?"

"Like smoke," Jasper notes, gratuitously giving Elias a soft smile, so pretty, "and the woods when it's being warmed up by sunlight. It's lovely."

To prove his point, he increases pressure of their thighs pressing together and leans closer into Eli's shoulder- to anyone else it would look like they're close so they can whisper in conversation- to Eli it's like his bodies being lit on fire being pressed into him.

This is the only burning I like.

Flashes of that night on his porch comes to mind- waiting, wanting Jasper to appear, but Bella stumbles out the words, grief stricken and bearing bad news. "They're gone," she cries, "they're gone!"- Elias wake up from his haze. He leans back from Jasper, separates their bodies until they're not touching.

Once the constant struggle of his heart tearing and burning dominated his thoughts and ruled over his body, now it was gone. Like it hadn't even been there in the first place. The only evidence it had been there in the first place was moments like this- when Elias wanted Jasper, and the flashback of him leaving made the pain flare back.

"Jasper..." Eli mumbles in a warning, in a plea.

Jasper understands the fight in Eli's eyes. "I'm sorry," he sighs, leaning away so they're not touching but still close enough for Jasper to breathe in Eli's scent. His disappointment is clear in his dark eyes.

It takes Elias a lot of will power to not get angry. At least, not downright angry at him for trying to mend their broken relationship. He pinpoints the emotion into something else.

"You really shouldn't neglect your hunger," Elias disapproves, quietly, turning back to his book and picking up his pen.

Jasper copies the actions, as if both of them can actually concentrate on anything but each other. "No one's in danger here. I'm getting better at being around people, as long as they don't get to close," he states surely.

Eli's hand tightens. He looks around the classroom, at all the innocent teenagers there. He can imagine how easy it would be for a accident to happen- for Jasper to slip up. He could image the carnage, the red painting the room, the screams silenced after only a few seconds. It should make him scared, disgusted, but all he can focus on is the aftermath.

Jasper would be so disappointed in himself, so frustrated he'd hide or leave, he'd be sad because he'd given into a instinct more powerful than breathing. He'd leave Elias again.

"I don't care about who you're around," he spits, glaring at the blond, at his dark eyes and how he's only breathing when it's safe, "I care about the fact you're hurting."

"Oh," Jasper exhales, and pleasure highlights his expression at the reminder of Elias still caring about him.

"Yeah, oh," Elias echos back, forcing his worry to turn into something lighter. His words come through a twitching smirk, "so be a good boy, and look after yourself for me."

The muscles lock in Jaspers throat and Elias is sure- through the darkness of them- that the blondes eyes dilate. "I'll go tonight," he promises, and yeah, his voice is husky too.

Elias let's out a shaky laugh, storing his reaction for a later inspection, "good."

He turns back to his paper, wanting to flip through and see which questions he got wrong, but his hands are shaking lightly and his eyes won't focus on it. He can't focus on anything but the boy next to him. He's almost glad when Jasper lightly knocks his knee against Eli's, gaining his attention back.

"So," Jasper starts once grey eyes meet black, "You haven't told anyone about your...illness?"

"Why would I?" The human rebuts, thinking to how his human acquaintances would react. The horror. "It's isn't their business and I don't want their pity or their questions."

"...I don't understand," Jasper says slowly, thinking back to how Eli has seizures, to his headaches- all things not easily hidden. "How can anyone not know?"

His confusion is cute. Elias almost smiles. "I think we both know how to lie to everyone around us," the human hums, and looks at Jasper with mock seriousness.

Jasper bites at the use of sarcasm. "Are you calling me a dishonest man?" He considers.

Elias makes a show of writing on his paper- it's not even words really, just scribbles. "No, not at all," he denies with a high voice, and can't help the smile that curves on his lips as he whispers, "But if the shoe fits..."

"I may lie a lot," Jasper starts in a whisper, leaning forward so he's directly speaking into Eli's ear, his voice thick and dark and filled with adoration, "but my love for you is the truest thing about me."

Eli's head snaps up as he's caught off guard, and he's awarded with the sight of that favourite smirk plastered on Jaspers amused face. Bastard.

The bell ringing is almost as loud as his heart. Elias, almost blindly, grabs his belongings and rushes out of the room. He's not sure if the teacher dismissed them and he doesn't care. His van clad feet slap against the floor as he almost runs to his next class- a swarm of teens come out not long after him- and he gets swallowed into the crowd graciously.

•••

It's official. There was nowhere to hide for the Sherwood boy in Forks high school.

Somehow, there's a Cullen in every lesson. Or in the hallway- always eager to catch his attention. Or at lunch, littered around his usual table, the chair next to Elias suspiciously empty. Elias pretends not to notice them for the most part. He walks the other way, sits outside for lunch- but it's official. The daze in which he used to use for school had been rudely broken. There's no numb hours rushing by until he can leave, it's agonising minutes that drag out and Jesus how did he manage to be so unnoticed for so many months here? It feels like he can't fucking blink without someone noticing him now.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" A bemused voice asks, masculine and familiar and making Elias want to groan.

He looks up from where he's writing in one of his little black books. Nathaniel stands tall and uncertain at the chair next to Elias.

He's exactly as Eli remembers months ago- lean and fluid in stance. His hairs long, dark and down to his shoulder blades in a way that makes most girls jealous at school and Elias notices now how there's a few thin braids woven into the waves. It keeps it from falling into his face, so his features are clearer.

"Come on," he reaches out and nudges Eli's shoulder softly, smiling so wide that a few people close to Eli's table flinch. If Nate notices, he doesn't show it, "I promise I don't talk as much as Jasper."

Of course. The human does groan this time. "How did you know about that?" He whines, mortified.

Nate takes the fact Elias hasn't told him to fuck off as permission to sit. He moves into the chair next to the human, placing his own books on the table and leaning close to drop his voice into a tone that means he's wanting no one but Eli to listen.

"Alice and I are keeping a ear out for him," he admits a little guilty looking, and his brown skin- ashen with immortality and the lack of blood flow- creases around his eyes as he winces, "we told him not to overwhelm you, but the idiot gets carried away whenever you're near him."

Eli can believe it. He doesn't plan to say most of the shit he says around the blond, he doesn't plan his reactions- there's just something about Jasper that brings out Eli's playful side. And his protective side, if his dreams are any indication.

The Sherwood boys cheeks redden as he remembers their interaction in history. "Just..." Elias runs his hands through his hair, trying to ease the tension under his skull, "make sure he feeds tonight."

"I will," Nate promises, and there's a gleam in his eyes for some reason. It looks scheming, and it reminds Eli of Alice when she's planning to use her sight to meddle with people. No wonder they work together so well, scheming bastards.

Elias nods, relieved. "Thanks Nate."

"Hey," his voice changes, wavering unsurely. Elias watches in peaked interest since he's not the usual type to be hesitant. The boy starts filtering through his backpack for something before pulling out a rectangular shape, leather covered- a book. "I got you this, in my..." he pauses, and there's regret in his golden eyes as he says, "time away."

Elias flinches, more from the fact in his 'time away' reminds him of the pain that used to orchestrate his heart. He pushes it away, ignoring Nate's sorry expression, leaning over to grab the book. "You got me a present?" He asks ludicrously.

There Elias was, operating like a broken machine as his lover and his family left- and Nate was buying presents for a friend he planned on never seeing again? Elias couldn't wrap his head around it- quite literally, his vision started swirling as his headache got worse.

"I know," Nate starts, aware of Eli's shock but not observant enough to see how detached his gaze got for a moment. "It reminded me of you, of the books you're always writing in," he taps the one on the table as proof, "I don't know why I brought it, we weren't supposed to be interacting with you when we left... but i couldn't leave it when I saw it. I was planning on sending it you, for your birthday, but I knew it wouldn't do any good."

He shrugs his shoulders, at loss of his own actions too. "Still, I kept it. You can say fate or something, since things worked out in a way that I got to give it you," there's a hope attached to his words as he whispers to himself, "Maybe you'll keep it forever."

Elias blinks as the wave of pain passes, allowing him to focus on the journal in his hand. It's heavier then any of his others, the leather is thick under his fingertips. There's a wide chord wrapped around the middle, keeping it shut. It looks expensive, and feels it... Elias can't seem to stop staring at it.

Nate watches him for a moment, unsure if he's overstepped a boundary. Taking a page out of the boys metaphorical book, he tries easing the tension with sarcasm. "Maybe you can write about how much you hate us," he nudges the human carefully, playful again.

"I don't hate you," is Eli's numb reply as something restricts his throat. Grief? It felt like grief, or something similarly haunting from missing out on the time with his friend, one of his best friends. A man he classed as a brother.

The human swallows thickly, clearing the obstruction in his throat. He looks up, struck with the sudden urge- not urge, something stronger and more compelling. Something that makes him want to spill his guts, so to speak; not just to Nate, but every one of them- especially Jasper. He wants to say everything he's been holding back, before time runs out and he doesn't get the chance.

Another wave of pain laces his head, travelling around his skull, across his eyes and down into his ears. Before time runs out? That wasn't like him, panicking like that wasn't him. He still had months left. He had time left. Didn't he?

Without warning or care of the fact the lesson is in process, Elias gets up in a haste. He hears the chair scuffle on the floor, the touch of Nates hand settling on his shoulder before he jerks away and towards the classroom door. Eyes follow him, and his teacher shouts something but Elias is already in the hallway and escaping down the corridor.

•••

He walks to Carver cafe.

He doesn't know how he decides it, but he ends up sitting in one of the tables nearest to the windows. Maybe because it's the only place where a Cullen won't pop up. Either way, he's drenched from the hour walk it takes to get there, and the waitress offers him a dish rag to dry off when he enters and he has to stop the way he wants to say, "it's okay, I can burn."

By the time David walks through the cafe doors, shaking off Forks' weather with his own more durable clothing, Elias has finished the grilled cheese he'd ordered, is considerably dryer and positively sure his dads visible stress lines on his face are his fault.

He strides across the almost empty restaurant with purpose. Elias feels himself sit straighter, sure of the verbal lashing he's about to get, but all David says as he slides across the booth is, "We aren't telling your mother about this."

Elias feels his shoulders lighten. "Fucking right," he agrees, almost laughing. It's not what he expected to be said first.

David sighs out in relief at the sound of his sons laughter. "And the next time you ditch, ring me. Don't walk alone, ok?" His words come out with force, like he wants to scold Elias, but his voice drops softer, contradicting himself, "Are you ok? Does your head hurt? Did you have a seizure?"

"I'm fine," Eli almost scoffs, leaning back into the cushions. He watches as relief works itself onto his features, and confusion. For a moment, the younger Sherwood wonders if he's made the wrong decision by ringing his dad. "This isn't a physical problem."

It takes a second until David's blue eyes light up. "Oh," he exhales, surprised. Seconds pass as he exams his sons face before he comes to the bitter conclusion, "It's him, isn't it?"

Eli's grin comes out again. "Whoever could you mean?"

"Jasper," David says his name like someone would spit out a lemon. It amuses Eli as much as it annoys him. "Jaspers the reason you look all jittery."

That actually peaks Eli's interest. "Jittery?" He echos.

David waves a hand around to Elias'.... Everything. His eyes, his grin, his stance on the seat. "You look like a lit firework, moments from going off," he reveals.

Elias looks away, not wanting to show his dad how amused he is about the words. He's pretty spot on with the observation. "I'll take that as a compliment," he mumbles.

"It is one," David promises. "I'll take this jittery version of you compared to the lifeless person you was a month ago," he winces, and Elias sucks in a breath, ready to defend himself if need be. He doesn't want this to be the topic of conversation. He doesn't want his dad to start digging for holes in his persona, trying to see if the depression will pour out again.

"I'm not that person anymore," Elias speaks through a tight jaw. His gaze is too fierce to be used on a parent, but it's the biggest warning he can give without actually telling him to shut the fuck up or he'll walk away from the table. David doesn't—couldn't— understand Eli's reasons of depression when the Cullens left, and Elias wouldn't explain. It's one of the reasons why their relationship was so strained now.

David sighs again, the limits in their relationship clear. "So, what happened?" He asks.

"Nothing really," Elias starts, pausing as he fights down the way his lips wants to turn up. "He was being charming, and a gentleman and I got spooked. Then his siblings were really friendly and just always there and I got more spooked. I ran."

David doesn't react like Eli thinks he will- he laughs. Deep but restricted. It reminds Eli of the days when Easton was a smaller kid and he used to fall over; David would suck in a breath, not wanting to react straight away incase it set his son off. Instead waited for Easton's reaction. Most of the time, he'd dust himself off, shout a giggled 'I'm okay!' and David would start cackling in relief.

"What?" Elias questions, shifting in his seat uncomfortably.

David laughs a little more, his mouth stretched so wide that dimples can be seen even though his cheeks and jaws covered in a salt and pepper stubble.

"I was thinking the worst all the drive here," he admits, sobering up until his words are coming through giggles. "I kept thinking, you'd gone after him and he'd turned you down. That he'd broken your heart, or you'd realised it wasn't the same as loving him before and you were absolutely devastated."

He shakes his head, relief pouring from him. "I was ready to see the lifelessness in your eyes again."

Elias makes sure to not react to the words- especially as there's equal parts guilt and anger mixing in him. Guilt, for worrying his dad. Anger, because after everything, how could Elias not love Jasper?

Do you not know me at all? He wants to ask.

"And now," he looks into his dads gaze, leaning onto the table, playing into the giddiness of the other mans mood. "What do you see now?"

For a moment, they stare, and things are good. For a moment, everything's fine. Then his dad leans backwards, flinches backwards, and there's a uncertain charge in the air as something in Eli's expression startles him. Elias remembers briefly a conversation with Jace months back as they drove near the cliffs edge- "I'm not good with words, can you read eyes?"-and Jace's own look of contemplation as he stares at Eli's grey eyes, "there's darkness in them."

"Fire," David mumbles, and Elias looks away, hiding the darkness, the apparent fire in his eyes.

This is why I'd never be able to tell you the truth, he thinks. This is why I craved Carlisle and Esme, because they knew me and they didn't scare so easily. They loved me no matter what I was made of.

It's a horrible thought to direct at a parent, horrible and unfair and... true.

David laughs again, but it'snot real this time. "It's a little scary, and funny, actually."

Elias tries to sound like he's interested. Like he isn't upset his own father could ever be remotely scared of him. "Why?"

"Because it's a look I saw in the people I used to arrest when they'd done something dangerously stupid," he pauses, watching Eli's reaction carefully, "you've not done anything stupid have you?"

That too sharp grin comes back. "I'm not planning anything," he chides.

David nods, not believing him. "So you didn't call me for help to hide bodies?"

Eli's head gets thrown back in a true burst of laughter. "You'd be the last person I'd call," he promises. I'd call Jasper, or Carlisle, if anything.

"Good," David nods, meaning it. "You should hide it from the ex-police officer."

"I know," the younger Sherwood hums, pushing back the curls falling into his vision.

He isn't aware how wry he sounds until David scolds him with a weak, "you're very mysterious, son."

You have no idea. "What can I say?" He speaks as he starts to stand up, indicating their leave from the restaurant. "I've been like this since you picked me off the streets."

David gets up with a loud tut of disapproval. "You're adopted, not a stray cat," he scolds, pressing his hand onto Eli's lean shoulder as they start the walk back to the car.

Elias leans away from the touch without too much attention being drawn, not wanting his dad to feel how hot he burns.

"So, what are you planning to do with the blond boy?" David asks tentatively as they're bucking up in the car.

Elias sighs this time. He thinks of dying, of his lovers face in his nightmare, of his friends pleas, of his options, of the anxiety of Jasper leaning again. "I don't know," he admits, "but whatever I do decide, I need to be sure of the decision."

Or it could kill me, quite literally.

David doesn't say anything after that, or after Elias request being dropped off at a home that's not the Sherwood house. He only reminds him to call home if he's not coming back, and then peels off the driveway and back towards his home. Eli's pretty sure he's glad he's not being relied on to talk about boy problems, especially since Eli had a tendency to defend Jasper no matter what.

The front doors unlocked when he tries it, and Bella is home since the Chevy is parked on the grass. Elias only has a few seconds to kick off his lightly damp vans and place them on the shoe rack before Bella comes pacing down the stairs.

"Elias!" She exhales his name out in relief, skipping the last step of the stairs to jump forward to hug him. Elias steps in to catch her and hug her back. "Where did you go? Alice told me you ran out on Nate-"

The curly haired boy cuts her off with a simple, "-I need your help."

She pulls back with a surprised expression. "Oh, okay," she accepts, after a moment to look over him with her eyes, inspecting for damage. Other than the rain causing his hair to become messy, he looks fine. "What do you need?"

"I need you to help me set myself on fire."

And welcome to eclipse people.

Elias has a decision to make. To die as a human, or to die to become a vampire? Forgive Jasper and trust him, or let his worries control him? What do you want to happen?

Thank you everyone for the love on this book and the messages about my help and well-being. I love you all, and without you I'd probably still be crying thinking I lost the love for my favourite hobby.

Btw listen to Eli's Spotify playlist- I'll send the link to anyone who wants it. The recently added song is perfect for this chapter. Numb, by Tom Odell.

Don't be a silent reader!