Chapter 59

Michael's POV

I am selfish.

Selfish.

Selfish.

Selfish!

I am no good for her.

But why does it feel so good? So right?

When it's wrong?

"Oh Michael" Maeve's sweet voice moaned in between the kisses she planted on my neck on the way to the guest bedroom since our room was occupied by our children. She had her legs wrapped around my waist to make it easier for me to carry her.

Upon arrival, I pushed the door close with my foot as I carried her towards the bed where let her down gently. She kept holding on to my neck, pulling my lips on hers, not wanting to break our connection.

However, at some point, I needed to catch my breath and I pulled away as our eyes met. With a loving expression on her face and that same sparkle in her eyes, I noticed earlier, she looked up at me.

It was like looking at her for the first time again as I lost myself in the blue if her eyes. She was back, my Maeve, the girl I fell in love with, was back and this time I wouldn't lose her again.

Because I already let her go.

"I love you so much, Michael!" she whispered while pulling me closer. I rested my forehead on hers as I felt her hands opening the buttons of my shirt.

She doesn't want to talk now, so maybe I can love her one last time.

*****

Maeve's POV

My body collapsed on top of Michael's as we were both catching up on our breaths. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, taking in his scent that seemed so familiar yet so different and when I felt my breathing become normal again, I started leaving small kisses on his neck up to his jaw where I kissed his lips real quick before looking into his eyes with a pleased smile on my face.

He was smiling lightly back at me with his thumb gliding over the new tattoo on my shoulder, a small star dedicated to our late daughter. "Beautiful" he commented in a low voice, barely audible before his eyes met mine, observing my face when his smile suddenly faded and he put one of his hands on my forehead, softly stroking his thumb over the spot where under some makeup, I hid a scar. The scar that got stitched by Sean and although it's healed, it's still present but it'll fade over time. For now, I choose to hide it.

Michael's expression was worried as he let his thumb glide over it. Since my forehead was sweaty, the scar must have revealed itself.

"Where did you get that?" he questioned, staring at my forehead while I stared at him and when his eyes met mine, I answered. "I hit my head... on the steering wheel."

His worried expression turned into a neutral one. My naked body got off of him as he sat himself up on the bed while I kneeled besides him, watching closely as he got up and started to get dressed again.

With my hand I grabbed the blanket, suddenly feeling the urge to cover myself.

Fully dressed with some buttons on his shirt left open Michael sat down on the edge of the bed, facing me as he spoke in a sad voice. "You hit your head on the steering wheel of my car that you drove full speed into a lake, knowing you'd probably never get out of alive again?"

Tears welled up in his eyes as they pierced at me while I nodded carefully. "You saw no other choice than to end it all... Maeve we could've-"

"Michael" my voice was soft as I scooted closer to him. "There's nothing you could've done to prevent me from trying to take my life... I needed to do this in order to find myself again! I needed to step back and take a break."

"You needed a break from me? From being my wife, from all the things I made you go through and from all the things that are expected from you because you chose to be with me?"

"Michael, it's not like that-" I tried explaining but he cut me off by blurting out "I signed the divorce papers!"

Tears streamed down his face and I could tell this wasn't an easy decision for him. Instead of showing any kind of reaction I just kept staring at him, trying to process the words he said.

"Okay" I whispered as my eyes began to water and I increased the distance between us on the bed a little.

"Okay? Is that all you're going to say about this?" Michael said, anger now filling his voice. "We're no longer married Maeve! You are no longer my wife and I am no longer your husband! Do you understand that?"

As a tear escaped my eye, I nodded. "Why did you sleep with me then? You obviously don't want me anymore..."

"That's not true, Maeve! I want you, I will always want you! Maeve, I'm trying to protect you, can't you see?" He told me, leaving me confused.

"From what?" I questioned.

"Your life has become miserable ever since you've been involved with me. If we never started dating, you wouldn't have been in the accident, that nearly destroyed you-"

"You don't know that!" I raised my voice a little, knowing my father was after me regardless of my relationship to Michael.

"You would've never suffered because of the attention you get from the public-"

"I was well aware of the consequences of going public, we've discussed this!"

He looked me dead in the eyes before continuing. "Jared would've never touched you!"

Silence.

I didn't know what to say and as I couldn't hold his gaze anymore, I looked away, down at my lap while my view became blurry as more tears escaped.

"See? I am the reason for your suffering! Maeve, I am destroying you!" I could feel the pain in his voice and I could definitely see the pain in his face.

He gave up on us.

"Do you really think back on our relationship and only remember the bad times? We share so many beautiful moments, yet all you seem to care about are the challenging times. Did you forget our children? I love them with all of my heart, I love the family we created! I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world! Speaking of the world, I would've never had the chance to see the world, if it wasn't for you! You took me to places, I don't even know how to pronounce correctly. Michael, please don't throw us away! We have so many great memories together, do they even mean anything to you?" I was on my knees with tears streaming down my face, literally begging him.

"Of course they do! I cherish every moment we got to spent together but the thought of losing you, again, it broke me! These past weeks, I have been waiting everyday for the call that would make me a widower... there was absolutely nothing I could do, I felt helpless! The only thing I could do was set you free and that's what I did, Maeve you are free! I am no longer tearing you down!"

Through my blurry vision, I saw him directly in front of me, kneeling on the bed as well, grabbing my face, trying to dry the tears, unsuccessfully.

"You're not tearing me down, Michael! You raise me up! Without your support I would've never achieved anything that I did. You always believe in me, more than I do in myself! Michael, if you tell me that you don't love me anymore, I swear to god, I'll let you be but... but if you do still love me as much as I love you, let us fight! I know we can find a way, we always do, please Michael!" My voice cracked as I begged for him to not give up on us. I knew he still loved me, I could feel it in his every kiss and in the way he touched me but I needed him to say it. I needed to hear it come out of his mouth.

But he didn't. Instead I felt his lips on mine, softly moving against my lips in a painfully slow pace I followed. We were both on our knees on the mattress as I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him close and holding on tight to his body in fear he'd walk away.

His hands wrapped around me as I felt him deepen the kiss that had a salty taste and I wasn't sure if it were mine or Michael's tears. One of his hands slipped through my hair, making sure, I wasn't breaking our connection any time soon.

And for a while we stayed like this, embraced in each other's arms, holding on tight while we were both fearing of loosening the other one until he found the strength to pull away.

"I am sorry, Maeve. But it's better this way!" It was as if he tried convincing himself that this was the right decision. When I felt him slip out of my touch, I watched him walk out the door, leaving me completely heartbroken and naked behind with tears streaming down my face uncontrollably.