28. Overthinking

This chapter is long after, y'all 😭😭 I didn't even realize how long it was until I copied & pasted it into my drafts from my notes, but of well. I haven't posted in this book in like a minute anyways, so I guess it's okay for it to be long 🙂

---

Harmony's P.O.V.

DIAMONDS FOR A REAL DIAMOND

That's what the little corny note says that accompanies the Christmas gift the white boy had arranged to be delivered to the hotel suite me and the girls share. Words scribbled in Marshall's signature messy handwriting I'd recognize anywhere after having had kept that notebook I stole from him. Back when I was still getting paid to destroy him. I was completely obsessed with trying to decipher his writing method back then too. Until deciding that I'll return the rhymebook back to him after all. I literally still don't understand why I did that neither, but if I have to admit to anything, I'm guessing it's the fact that the dick got me good.

Fuck it. Happens to even the best of us, I suppose...

The corny words written in the note made me giggle as soon as I read the them, but when I opened the small rectangular box, inside of it was indeed the prettiest diamond necklace I have ever seen in my life, accompanied by a matching tennis bracelet.

Pulling the bracelet out of the box first, I just stare at it, running my fingers through the sparkling stones, while I'm sat on the extremely comfortable sofa at our penthouse suit's living room.

This is so strange because I've never had man buy me diamonds before, and something about it is making me feel weird.

Not that I don't think I deserve it cause I definitely do. Hell, I deserve the whole world. But still. Something about it is just so...

And then he told me he wanted me to meet his kid one day too, like what the fuck?!

This is so not me, I don't think I'd even be good with kids. I'm not sure I even like kids, but I am pretty sure his daughter will dislike me on sight, cause why won't she??

I'm not a girl's girl, and I sure as hell ain't a fairly godmother type.

Would Em wanna break-up whatever we've got going on then?

But of course he would.

Dude absolutely adores his daughter just like he frankly should.

I won't respect him no more if he didn't, but then like...

Why should I even care if he breaks up with me or not?!

Awww hell!!

This is so not me, none of it is!!

Thinking like this, doubting myself, considering one day meeting a kid of the guy I'm dating... Actually, dating some nigga period. Like, what the hell is wrong with me, whatever's happened with never jumping on the same dick twice?!

Suppose the dick got me good, like I said.

But still.

That's not an excuse to be a weak bitch.

"Oh, shit!! Damn girl, I just tripped over my own feet and that shit hurts like a motherfucker!!" I suddenly hear one of the girls holler to high heavens.

Serenity, Ash and Kay are stumbling around the room, interrupting my thoughts. All of us being a hot mess right now if I'm being honest, after finally getting back home from that Christmas Eve party. Laughing and slurring our words, tight sweaty outfits clinging to us like second skin.

Missy Elliot truly does know how to throw a wild ass one party, that's for sure. Clearly she loves to have her fun, and so do I.

Hair wild, all of the drinks and the drugs still rushing through my skin and my blood, I feel so incredibly buzzed and drunk and high both, and I would've stayed and gotten laid with so many willing men back there, but like... suppose I'm taken now, or whatever? Have a boyfriend and all.

The thought of which alone seems so strange to me, but I'm guessing I'm starting to get used to it.

Or am I?

My sister plops onto the sofa next to me and grabs one of the throw pillows, hugging it to her chest.

"I'm never drinking like this again," she groans pitifully, her nose scrunched up with her curls hanging limply in her face, some of the strands clinging to her forehead. "I can't belive y'all even talked me into drinking at all tonight, I swore I never would again after that thing happened with Justin."

"Fuck that asshole, sis," I turn to Nity and force myself to smile, but the truth is just the thought of what that slimy pretty boy motherfucker did to her is making me wanna stab his guts out all over again. Dude was so lucky Em was there that night to play a night in a shining armor or whatever, or I would've caught a case for killing his corny Ramen noodles for hair looking ass for real.

Serenity giggles, her tipsyness making it easier for her to relax and take everything as a joke. Her eyes then travel towards the diamonds clutched in my hand.

"Girl, is that what Em got for you?? Omg, it's beautiful!!" Serenity exclaims peering over my shoulder, her eyes wide with excitement for me. "He must really like you."

"Bitch, let me see!" Ash snatches the box from me and examines the contents of it, then hands it back to me. "Yep. Dude's definitely in love with you cause that shit is exquisite. Kuniva won't even spoil me like that you lucky hoe," she punches me playfully in my side before stumbling drunkenly towards the vanity table in our living room where she plops down and begins peeling off her extremely expensive false lashes in the mirror. She's been obsessed with those the whole night.

"You need to call that man and say thanks, cause omg, Harmony," Serenity then encourages me, but I sort of shrug it off.

"Girl, it's like 5am right now. Dude's got kids. He's probably sleep," I wave my sister off, who continues to insist.

"Then text him or something. So he sees your message when he wakes up. It's important to be polite in relationships and let your partner know you appreciate them and the effort they make," she schools me. Baby sis stay thinking she's actually my big sister, I swear. And that she's somehow an expert in relationships all of a sudden.

"Yeah sure, " I reply back absent-mindedly and get up from the couch, beginning to make my way towards my own room.

"Pfft, I'd watch out for that man if I was you, Harmony," Kayla's hateful ass is saying at my back. "Cause in my experience, when a nigga is giving you an expensive ass gift like that out of the blue sky? It's cause he's feeling guilty of something. Dude probably cheated on you while back in Detroit. Most likely with that ex-wife of his."

Kayla's tone is smug as she takes a seat at the sofa I just got up from. She flips her long hair from her shoulders just as Serenity all of a sudden goes off on her.

"Now girl, why would you even say something like this to her? You stay trying to steer up trouble!! And no, it's not even out of the blue that her man has got her something, it's a Christmas present. Like what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Like I said, in my experience..."

"Well, your bitter ass experience has nothing to do with Harmony and her relationship with her boyfriend, Kayla!!"

"Hey, I'm just trying to look after her is all. She ain't even the Harmony we all know right now, and I just want our girl back!" Kayla says the words as though she wasn't always hating on me practically since like day one since The Diamond Cuts was first formed.

"Like hell you are!!" My baby sister then flips out on her yet again.

While the two of them bickering, Ash continues to nonchalantly sit at the vanity table. She has removed her false lashes and is now brushing her hair, looking over at Kayla's reflection in the mirror with a smirk on her face.

"I mean, of course motherfuckers cheated on you left and right, Kay. Not even gonna lie, if I was a dude I'd fuck around on you too cause you insufferable as fuck," she stares, and Kayla angrily blurts something back in response, then Serenity adds some other insult to injury.

All the while, I don't say shit, which let's be frank, is very uncharacteristic of me to just sit there and allow other people to fight my battles for me, but it's like I'm way too in my own head right now to even say shit.

Suddenly, I just walk off, leaving all three of them still arguing over my relationship with the white boy as though they are the ones screwing him or some shit.

The diamonds he for some reason felt the need to get me as a gift clutched in my hand, the weight of them like bricks in my hands, the necklace resembling a damn chain. Maybe I'm the one that had too much to drink at Missy's party, but I'm suddenly not feeling well at all, it's like my head won't stop spinning, and I don't feel like myself, something is off.

Shutting the door of my bedroom behind me, I'm leaning against it, my gaze falling onto my free hand as I'm taking my phone out, flipping the small pink device open. My thumb hovers over the white boy's name in my contacts as I take a deep breath, wondering to myself what would I even say to him if I do decide to call him.

Thinking back to the last time we've been together, the last time I've seen him which was only like a few days ago but somehow still feels like a lifetime.

I hate to admit it, but Kayla's hateful ass is right. I'm not being myself right now, simply because it's not at all like me to get this hang up on a guy.

Snapping my phone back shut, I'm thinking to myself that maybe me and the white boy need to cool it. Maybe we've been moving too fast and we need a break from each other.

January, 2001

The New Year's Eve had come and gone, and I ended-up choosing to not fly out to Detroit to celebrate the holiday with the white boy after all.

As a matter of fact, I haven't spoken to him since Christmas...

February, 2001

The flashing lights at this club almost giving me comfort, my body moving to the beat of the song that blasts through the speakers. My hips rotate with precision, my long thick hair falling down my face and spilling over my shoulders. I can feel the guy's hand that I'm dancing on slide around me and briefly settle on my lower stomach, his fingers brushing over my pierced belly button when the short top I'm wearing slides up over the low ride jeans tightly hugging my hips.

The random touch is completely unwelcomed and almost intrusive like,but again, it gives me this weird sense of familiarity, bringing me back to my old ways.

Back when I wasn't so-called "taken", back when I was that bitch that did whatever the fuck she wanted and gave zero fucks.

I mean, I still AM that bitch, but maybe fucking as heavily as I was with a certain bleach-blonde blue-eyed white boy had messed with my head just a little bit and I forgot what I was all about.

I've never been a weak bitch though. Never one weak for a dude neither. I'm nothing like my excuse for a mother, nothing like Tiffany...

"Harmony, what the hell are you doing?!" All of a sudden, my little sister Serenity yanks at my arm, bringing me out of my somewhat hazy, alcohol induced thoughts.

She drags me away from the random guy just as two things happen at the same time.

The insignificant nigga yelling, "What the fuck?!" at our backs.

Just as the DJ announces, "Eminem and D12 are in da house right now, y'all. Make some motherfucking noise!!"

Oh great, I roll my eyes.

Marshall and I... We did have one interaction since the Christmas party.

He actually came barging in on one of The Diamond Cuts recording sessions at The Interscope building, demanding answers from me on why I've been ghosting him ever since.

And I used that as an opportunity to give him his blood diamonds back.

All I remember saying to him being, "Yeah, I gotta give this back to you cause I can't accept it."

Walking up towards him, I place the box with the diamonds inside of it in his hands.

Marshall looks down at the box, his eyebrows slowly pulling together before he clenches his jaw, looking back at me.

"What, you ain't like it?" He asks me, his tone nonchalant, but his blue eyes study my face intently, and I almost felt bad for him just then.

"Nooooo, I fucking loved it, actually. Like don't get me wrong, it's so fucking pretty. But still. I can't accept it."

"Why not?"

"Cause it's just too much."

"Fuck you mean?"

"It's too much, Marshall. It's way too expensive, and..."

"So what you saying then, yo? You tryna say I can't afford to get shit like this for my girl?"

"Ugh, no! Of course you can afford it and I know that you can, white boy"

"Well, what is it then?!"

I roll my eyes at him then I look down. This is actually super awkward. The whole situation is.

A very huge part of me wishes he'd accept it for what it is and walk away from me and the both of us pretend this weird thing between us never existed.

But then there's also like... this other part of me that wished he would've fought for me, broke through all of the barriers I'm coming up with quite literally right now as we speak, thinking of more and more excuses for why we can't be together. Not really.

Marshall doesn't think like that though.

Instead he goes straight into paranoid and defensive mode.

Just like I would've.

Maybe the two of us are just... way too much alike or something.

"Did you fuck around on me, rhinestone?" He's asking me harshly, jaw clenched tight, blue eyes burning into my brown ones with a vengeance.

"Um... what?!" All I can do is just giggle softly in return.

Like...

This shit isn't funny at all, but at the same time it sort of is.

"Nah, but for real. Did you fuck another dude, Harmony?! That why you feel so goddamn guilty now, huh, bitch?!" Marshall steps closer to me and I lick my lips.

"What if I did?" I ask him sweetly, taking a step towards him as well, my fingertips slowly sliding down the side of his face as I lie. "What would you do then, huh? Will you slit my throat and stuff my body in the trunk of your car, Em?"

Continuing to taunt him for literally no reason at all, I bite my lower lip as I look up expectantly at him, knowing damn well that Marshall would buy what I've said to him just now simply because I know him and I can read this white boy like a book.

And he doesn't disappoint at all.

Stepping close to me instead and eliminating any kind of distance between us, his rough hands lock around my throat.

My airway completely constricted, I start to choke a little bit, but that shit also feels good as hell so I smile up at him.

"Do. Not. Fuck. With. Me. Rhinestone. Did you fuck some other dude, yes or no?! FUCKING ANSWER ME!" He's practically growling at me, but I just laugh in return.

"What if I did?" I ask him softly yet again.

Em then shoves me away from him as hard as he could.

"You are a nasty ass slut. Fuck this shit, I'm done."

He walks away, and I just watch him go.

And now he is making his way into the V.I.P. area of the club with his boys, just casually strolling in while this other random nigga is all up on me.

"So, what's it gonna be, Harmony? Cause I've been fantasizing about getting with you for the longest if I'm being honest."

I just roll my eyes at him.

"Ugh, just fuck off, cause you disgust me for real!"

And that's that. Walking away from the random dude, I also manage to sneak out of the club before Marshall saw me and we had another altercation, as I'm sure we would have.

Just like that, I am done with the whole situation.

Only am I really??

Because only a week later, while rehearsing for our next awards show appearance, The Diamond Cuts keep meeting up, and it's all because of me, all because I keep right on messing up somehow.

"Harmony, what the fuck is up with you lately? Your rapping way off beat and I can hear that shit!" Xavier scolds me while I'm stood inside the booth, large round headphones covering my ears as I've just finished recording a rough draft version of my verse we all working on for the next Diamond Cuts single.

"He ain't lying, sis. You've been real off lately," Kayla laughs, sitting at the soundboard right next to our manager. "I wonder why that is. Like... what's throwing you off your game, girl?"

"I need to get some air," I simply reply back, already heading for the door, not wanting to even bother with Kayla's evil ass cause let's face it. I can easily knock that girl out anytime I want to anyways.

Only I continue to choose not to.

Won't ve very professional of me if I did, and I'm trying to prove to all these assholes that I can in fact be a lady when I want to.

Hours later, and it's just me at the recording room in the studio.

Everybody else, including the sound engineers done gone home.

But I feel like I've got something to prove, so here I am!!

Rapping on the mic, some of it being just some pure nonsensical bullshit, and yet I continue to push through with it anyways.

Just because I could.

Some time later, I'm needed a bathroom break, so I go for one.

And once I'm done with whatever I was doing in there, I'm making my way back to the recording room.

Only to crash smack into a hard chest.

Cussing loudly to myself then, all I see as I look up is his stupid ass eyes peering intensely down at me.

Those deep blue eyes locked on my brown ones, his bleach-blonde blonde hair tousled and all over the place and baggy clothes hanging over his slim yet muscular frame.

I haven't seen him since our encounter at the club where I guess we have... broke up whatever bullshit... thingy we had going between us.

Getting my expensive gifts and saying he wanted me to meet his daughter one day. Boy was really losing it, and I'm glad that I ended it with him!

"Watch where you going!" A harsh exclaim pushes it's way past my lips as I simultaneously roll my eyes at him. Marshall squints at me, an arrogant sneer on his face.

"Yo, fuck you. YOU bumped into ME, rhinestone!"

Again with that stupid nickname!!

I guess I'm not a real diamond bitch to him anymore.

"Yeah, whatever."

Shoving him in his chest yet again, I continue to make my way past him even as my heart begins to beat so fast in my chest.

Like... why am I even reaching so strongly to him still, that's some weak bitch shit, something my mother would do.

As I storm my way past Marshall, I can feel him just staring at me, his enraged gaze practically burning a hole in my back. I bet you he really hates my guts right now, but that's good I like that. I prefer for home to not being able to stand me, or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Mumbling under my breath how his half-blind ass needs to start wearing glasses, I continue to make my way back towards the recording room.

"Yeah, and your slutty ass needs to learn not to spread your legs so much. You gonna catch an STD soon, and imma laugh when you do," Marshall says childishly at my back, his voice low and mocking like he really said something grand to me just now.

Corny ass white boy! I swear whenever he's not rapping on a mic, dude is near pathetic, so I tell him as much.

"Yo, fuck you just say to me?!"

"You heard me."

"Christ, you are a bitch!"

"You still fell for it though," I laugh at him, but within seconds I feel his fi gers grab onto my arm as Marshall spins me around forcing me to face him. He looks down at me and his freckled face is red, even the tips of his ears are as he stares down at me, he grabs my jaw tilting my face up.

"Let me tell you something. Ain't nobody fell for your dumbass, girl. Only reason I was fucking with you is cause you got some good pussy and you kinda freaky and don't respect yourself, so you was letting a motherfucker hit any type of way I wanted. Had me choke you out for days and never complained once. But that's the only thing you good for, you heard?" He practically spits the words out at me, and I can tell he thinks that what he's saying to me is supposed to hurt my feelings.

But he found the wrong bitch to try to slut shame yet again.

Smiling sweetly at him, I laugh quietly to myself, knowing damn well it's pissing him off.

"That's why you wanted me to meet your kid, right Em? Cause I ain't shit? Calling my phone all the time, telling me how much you missed me," I mock the tone of his voice and he angrily shoves me back.

"You a dumb chick for real if you ever believed that shit."

"Well you a dumb nigga then if you ever thought I actually liked you cause I never did. All i did was use you in order to build my own name and career."

"That what you did for real? Fuck, I can't stand you, you know that?!"

"Ditto."

Turning on my heels, I begin to walk away from him yet again, my rapidly beating heart actually betraying my emotions somewhat, if only to myself.

I don't know why I had allowed this thing with me and him to get as far as it did. I truly was on some weak bitch shit, but it stops right now! I normally don't feel a thing, but right now I'm angry as all hell, and I don't even know why.

Shutting and locking the door of the recording room behind me and march right back into the booth, snatching my notepad from the board. Kayla and them were all saying I sounded off in the booth today, so I'm going to make sure I correct that by the time we are all back at it tomorrow.

But just as the beat of the song begins to play again in my headphones, an even louder sound that's basically somebody pounding their fist against the door breaks my concentration yet again.

Letting out a loud frustrated yelp, I rip the headphones off of my head again and march up towards the door. Something tells me I already know who's on the other side of it, but what the fuck does he want?!

The heels of my boots clicking against the floor, I pull down the short denim skirt I've got on, the white cropped top extra right around my boobs and with my long hair draping down my back, I make my way over towards the door like I'm on a mission. Reaching up with my hand, I let my fingers grip around the doorknob, swinging it open.

"What, you forgot something?" I'm starting to sarcastically say as I stand with my arms crossed over my boobs which rise and fall rapidly when I look up into this man's deep blue eyes just glaring at me before Marshall pushes the recording room door all the way open with his foot, stomping his way in.

"You sure know how to piss me the fuck off, girl," He states, slamming the door shut behind him and interrupting my words. He glares down at me, his hands finding my waist and gripping tightly at the same time. He licks his lower lip, blue eyes squinting down at me, appearing a couple of shades darker than normal.

I smile up at him, thinking to myself this man has absolutely no idea, cause he pisses me off too. Literally just by... breathing.

"It's a talent," I'm starting to practically brag, but I don't get to finish whatever I was going to say next because Marshall's lips crash into mine hard while he simultaneously snakes his hands from my waist up to my cheeks, trapping my face between his hands and shutting me up instantly. One of his hands then gripping the back of my head and locking me exactly where he needs me to be, his other hand roams all over, touching and gripping every curve of me roughly.

My eyes flying wide open for a second or two, they then flatter back shut just as quick as I decide to just go with the flow.

I take both of my arms and lock them around his neck, our mouth moving against each other rather aggressively, it's almost like we are fighting instead of kissing, and I can feel some of the irrational anger I for whatever reason feel towards this man beginning to bleed through the kiss. I moan into his mouth when his teeth nip at my bottom lip, and he groans in response. My thighs clenching together when he begins to walk us backwards until my butt hits against the edge of the mixing board. Marshall then steps even closer to me if that was even possible, eliminating any kind of distance between us, and I wrap my arms tighter around him, lips lips warm and moving against mines a bit slower now, both of us somewhat settling into it now until he pulls back. He peers down at me with our forgeads pressed against each other, the same aggression from before still evident in the intensity of his blue gaze, but both of us us calmer somewhat.

"You know, you are probably the worst chick I've ever dealt with. I don't get you at all, rhinestone," He huffs out against my lips, his breath warm against my skin as I look up at him.

"I'll take that shit as a compliment," I'm quick to say, my voice sweet like honey, heart beating really fast as he brushes a lose strand of hair away from my face in an almost romantic gesture.

I roll my eyes at that, and Marshall chuckles bitterly. He slowly shakes his head almost amused like.

"Did you fuck another dude, yes or no?" He asks me, and I roll my eyes yet again.

"Fucking yes or no, Harmony?!" He's asking me much more forcibly now, he grips my chin and tilts my face up.

"No," I breathe out, and it's funny. I'm almost embraced by this answer. Like... it makes me feel all weak again, and I am not a weak bitch.

Not for no dude.

Because I am nothing like my mom...

Marshall closes his eyes for a second, his jaw clenched tight before he looks down at me again and smirks.

"Ay, remember when I told you shit would not benefit you at all if I actually lost my head over your crazy ass? Go sit at the top of the soundboard," he states, voice low and demanding.

I make a face at him but comply, never breaking eye contact with him. But he's already gripping my waist and hoisting me up anyways. And once I'm sat at the top of the mixing board, he stands in between my legs, one of his hands going up my skirt as he leans in, mouth coming straight for my neck. He kisses into the soft skin of my throat, slow, but demanding. Hungry. And I automatically tilt my head back, giving him better access, a small whimper escaping past my lips.

Marshall drags his hand slowly up my thigh, his fingers firmly gripping at my panties as he pulls them down my legs. His lips leave my neck and he pulls away from me just enough to be able to stare me right in the eyes while he snatches my underwear completely off.

I can feel my heart starting to beat just a tad bit faster, the anticipation causing for heat to pool between my legs, and for the very first time since I've ever met the white boy, I have to admit, I am... sort of intimidated by him, but the feeling is super exciting and it gives me like this crazy rush. Almost like a high.

I smile a little bit biting into my lower lip and Marshall returns it with a smirk of his own slowly tugging one of the corners of his mouth up while he bunches my panties in the fist of his left hand, nonchalantly stuffing them into one of the pockets of his baggy pants before he drags his hand back up my thighs again, two of his fingers entering me with no warning, causing me to moan out in surprise when he begins pumping with them, hitting my spot almost instantly as he curves them a little bit.

My breathing intensifies and my lips part just enough to accommodate my exhales as he dips his hand again. His free hand aggressively pulling my top down and freeing my tits that are now sitting plump right in his face. Marshall lowers his head and alternates between kissing, biting and sucking on my nipples, the contradicting sensations of pain and pleasure making me squirm against him, my hips rising up and down to meet the strokes of his fingers. I'm gripping at the edges of the mixing board hard as hell with my hands, the controls on it digging into my flesh until I take one of my hands and knock Em's hat and durag off, dragging my fingernails through his bleach-blonde hair instead, palming the back of his head causing him to groan against my skin. Only for him to move lower. He trails kisses down my stomach, stopping at the hem of the short denim skirt I've got on, only to hike that thing up over my hips and bury his head in between my legs, bringing his mouth into the mix. His tongue swipes over my clit while his fingers still work me over time.

"Shit.."

Is all I can really say, this nigga knows this is my weakness, and I should know better than to ever let him lick the kitty. That's how he got me that first time after all.

But I can't help that shit, simply because it feels too good. Like, he is way too good at it, and I hate him for it, but then again, really don't...

"Marshall, I'm gonna..."

The words die on my tongue when he stops and looks at me with a smug smirk.

"You ASSHOLE!!" I'm then blurting out, but he's already dragging me off of the soundboard.

"Shut up," He states harshly, flipping me and bending me over the mixing board instead. I grip hard against it when he pushes my skirt all the way up my thighs again, a stinging sensation rippling through me when Em slaps my butt hard.

"I fucking hate you," I whimper again, giving him what I figure he wants from me right now. Which is complete submission. My long hair falling over my shoulder, I turn my head just slightly, watching Marshall inzip his pants and pull his dick out, lining it up with my entrance. And I'm so wet by that point that I can hardly even stand it, but luckily he doesn't make me wait too long, he pushes his cock right in me, almost instantly reaching up and grabbing me by the hair, wrapping it around his arm. He pounds into me and snatches my head back by the hair so roughly that he almost breaks my spine in half, my back flash against his front.

"We gon' have more problems, Harmony?" He asks harshly in my ear, biting at it at the same time, his other hand snaking around my body and beginning to rub forcibly circle around my already swollen clit that makes me cry out. "You gon' keep frontin' on me like you was before, huh?!" His voice getting angrier, more demanding and dominating.

And all I can really do is to just moan and throw the pussy back at him as best as I can.

Marshall groans, his hand now letting go of my hair and lightly gripping my throat instead.

"FUCKING ANSWER ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU, BITCH! YOU DONE FRONTING OR NAH? OR WE STILL GON' PLAY GAMES, RHINESTONE?!"

He fucks me harder and he rubs my clit with precision, and i can feel my eyes begin to roll into the back of my head, my vision darkening, and I find it hard to breathe. My pussy clenches around his length, the sheer force of my arousal dripping down my legs as my breath hitches at the back of my throat.

"Well?!" He squeezes my throat again, and I choke out:

"NOOOOO, NO MORE GAMES, MARSHALL!!"

"That so? So this my pussy then, that's what you saying to me?!"

"Yesssss!!"

"Nah, not good enough. Fucking say that shit. Say it outloud!!"

His hand moves from my throat up to my face and he grips my jaw in his hand, tilting my face slightly to the side, his mouth catching mine, the kiss sloppy and aggressive, but I manage to whimper, "It's fucking yours, Marshall!!"

"Yeah. I fucking thought so, slut. And don't you forget that neither!"

And he immediately let's go of my upper body and I collapse like a fucking rag dill against the mixing board, every single cell in my body becoming limp as it explodes from extreme pleasure, I've actually never felt anything like this before, it's like a cathartic sensation or something.

Everything becomes fuzzy, but I can hear Em lowly groan behind me as his fingers dig harshly into the flesh of my hips.

"Fuck, Harmony. Imma cum too baby. Shit. Goddamn.."

Hours later, I'm laying all tangled up with him in his bed at the apartment he owns here in LA.

After the two of us had recovered after our fuck session at the studio, Marshall told me I was coming back home with him, and it was just that. And I didn't have the heart to argue with him. I think I'm done fighting with him. At least for now.

Both of us completely naked underneath the warm covers, but he did make me wear them diamonds he got me for Christmas around my neck and wrist.

Talking about some next time he gives me something I better not even think of attempting to return it back to him or he's gonna fuck me up.

It is completely pitch black in the room, but we continue to pass the blunt he had rolled earlier between us, the weed smoke almost comforting in a way.

Until he begins to talk, demanding answers from me that I don't really have for him.

"So, you wanna tell me why you tried to jump ship with me?" Marshall asks me, passing the blunt to me. I take a pull from it while I rest my head against the area between his chest and shoulder, my eyes blindingly staring up the dark ceiling.

"I mean, I don't know what you want me to say, Em," I reply back after a pretty long period of silence, passing the blunt back to him. "I guess I just felt out of my element with you and it scared me."

"Out of your element, huh?"

"I mean... I'm not exactly a relationship type of a girl, you know. And I've got issues with men in case you weren't able to guess," I roll my eyes, somewhat grateful that he can't see my face.

I'm not used to this at all, not used to being vulnerable with a man. All I know is how to use them in order to make myself feel good, that's about it.

"Damn. You think this shit is easy for me, rhinestone? I ain't trust females neither. As a matter of fact, I trust no bitch. Especially someone like you. You are just like my ex in a way. Hell, you might be worse," Marshall says after a while, his voice strained like he's clenching his jaw.

"Don't compare me to that woman!" I exclaim, actually sounding offended.

"Yeah well. Like I said. You might actually be three times worse than that bitch. Yo, you for real used me to built a name for yourself?"

If only he knew just how true that statement ACTUALLY is.

"I mean, I did at first. Sure. But..." I start to softly say, but trail off. Marshall has absolutely no idea that this is actually my way of confessing something to him, . but I don't know how to just say it to him.

Surely, I'm not scared of the white boy, I'm not scared of any man.

But I don't want him to hate me...

"But what? Shit's different now cause you like me or whatever?" He asks me somewhat bitterly, I know that he's used to women playing him, and the truth is, I've been playing him too. Before. But I'm not anymore. At least... I don't think that I am, like it's no longer my intention...

"Something like that," I softly say, twisting my head so I could blindly plant a kiss against his naked chest, his skin warm, his heartbeat slow and steady but lightly picking up against my touch.

Shuffling in the darkness, Marshall grips around me, lifting me up to sit on top of hom, straddling him. He drags his hands down the sides of my face and down my body until he stops at my butt, gripping it posessively.

"Imma tell you something, Harmony. I like your evil self. But I've been handing your ass with kids gloves this whole time which isn't like me. If I ever find out you fucking with me though? That shit's gonna change," he warns me.

"Nigga please!" I laugh and lower my head, kissing his lips in the darkness of the room before pulling my head up. "We've already had a whole feud. I'm still breathing. Shady ain't nowhere as lethal as everybody says he is."

"That's cause I've handled you with kid's gloves like I said. But you ain't really know me, Harmony."

"Ooooo, I'm scared," I shove him playfully, but his response comes out deadly serious. Almost eerie.

"You should be."

"Promise?"

It is then days until I finally return back to the hotel room that I'm sharing with the rest of the girls.

I've been staying with Em for the next couple of weeks, us hanging out and spending as much time together as we could, getting to know each other better, and there's actually quite a few things I've learned about him.

He likes to fuck in the dark, but sleep with the lights on which is kind of annoying, if I'm being honest, but I was able to get used to it.

His daughter really IS his world, he spends multiple hours in a day talking to her.

He can only drink diet drinks, and he's got a weird ass phobia of... giraffes of all things for whatever reason. He actually hates for random people to look into his notepad but would allow you to try and decipher his handwriting if he actually trusts you. He likes to sleep on the left side of the bed, and he likes to sleep in late. He's got a deadly right hook apparently, or at least he always brags about that, standing on chairs and everything whenever he talks about it. And he can freaking draw. Really well too, like who would've known. He told me that if he wasn't a rapper, then he'd be a comic book artist.

Just little things like that, nothing too deep, but the crazy thing is, back when we had first started "dating" or whatever, I never knew any of it back then, simply because I haven't really bothered to learn anything at all about him, and I don't think he had bothered to ask much about me either. Our "relationship" or whatever you want to call it being super shallow and based mostly on this weird attraction that we've always had for each other, and honestly a huge part of it still is just that, but I'm also feeling sort of different about it too, if that even makes sense...

I guess I'm a weak bitch after all, but I don't seem to... care as much as I did before?

I don't know...

But anyways...

Stepping off of the elevator with my overnight bag I used to have at Em's place clutched in my hand, I'm making my way back over to The Diamond Cuts's Penthouse, one of my hands already digging inside the bag and searching for the room key.

Finally locating it, I pull the key out and unlock the door with it, making my way inside and immediately greeted with the sounds of MTV playing somewhere in the background, as well as all of the girls talking in the living room.

They seem to be gossiping about something, all of their voices loud and excited as they laugh, but I also recognize another woman in the mix.

Somebody that mist definitely doesn't belong.

I roll my eyes stepping right at my tracks as she looks up to me from the couch where she is sitting right in between Ash and Kay, Serenity just coming back from what I'm assuming is the bathroom.

"Omg, Harmony, you are finally back!" My sister greets me excitedly, rushing towards me and hugging me, but I'm distracted as my eyes lock on the beautiful tall girl with tanned skin and long wavy hair that smiles sweetly at me from where she's seated.

"Yeah, sis. We've been waiting for you," Kayla says evilly, she smirks while glancing at the woman that's sitting next to her. "Mariah here, she tells me that she's been trying to get in touch with her for days, but you keep on ignoring her calls. Something about a deal you two have made with each other that you apparently have been backing out of. Which is so strange because this is not like you at all. You don't back out of deals."

The more she continues to talk, the more I just sort of want to knock her hating ass out.

But my attention is all on Mariah Carey instead who smiles again at me.

"Hello, Harmony. Long time no see, darling. We have a lot to talk about. Certain... Shady business if you will," she says.