Fourteen

Eunwoo's POV

"My turn!" MJ let out a yell and snatched the coke from Moonbin. Moonbin's face was beaming with laughter as he watched the older boy chug the drink. All the friends had finished eating their chicken and were competing for who could drink the most coke in one shot. Sitting at the table between Soohyun and Moonbin, I shook my head helplessly at them.

"You took a breath Myungjun! That's cheating!"  Sanha was indignant as he jumped to his feet. MJ slammed the empty bottle on the table and looked as if he were about to argue when Rocky interrupted,

"We have a champion!" He raised MJ's wrist in the air. With a smile on his face, he looked like he was having fun. I felt a sigh rising in my chest. It had been so long since I had hung out with him and I didn't know how to feel. I was still upset at him for pushing me away. Sitting beside Baeksoon was Minji, a small smile visible on her face. Just seeing her made my heart hurt. I hated myself for hurting her, and breaking us apart. In my opinion, it was Rocky's fault for taking it too seriously. I wished Minji and I could be as close as we had been. To be honest, I missed them both. Minji raised her eyes to meet mine for a split second. Quickly I looked away. It would only hurt to think about it. Minji and Minhyuk had moved on, and the fact that they disowned me wasn't important now.

Pushing away the upsetting thoughts, I turned my gaze to the girl beside me. She was falling asleep slowly, her head leaning towards my shoulder and her eyes drooping. I felt a smile creep over my face at her cute little expression.

Lee Soohyun, you must be tired.

Gently, I rested her head on my shoulder with my hand as her eyes closed. She let out a small relaxed breath and I felt my heartbeat speed up.

That's right, just sleep. She was already so stressed with school and worrying for her brother I was happy to see her resting.

"Eunwoo?? Hello?" MJ flicked my head and I instantly looked up at him, rubbing my forehead.

"Ow! Seriously Myungjun?!" I spotted Minhyuk looking at me. Why did he look so upset all the sudden? I averted my gaze.

MJ smirked, not looking apologetic in the very least. "You weren't listening to me. I asked you; truth or dare?"

"I can't play right now, I need to get Soohyun home." I eased the girl off my shoulder and onto my chest. She didn't even budge. MJ sighed,

"Fine. Moonbin, truth or dare?"

"Dare." Was his immediate answer. MJ smiled mischievously,

"Kiss Baeksoon."

The entire table went silent.

My eyes flicked back and forth between the two of them. Baeksoon looked horrified. Moonbin's face was red and he covered it with his hands,

"Hey.."

Baeksoon was blushing just as much, dropping her face so that her black hair covered her red cheeks. I felt myself smiling. Hold up. They were dating?

"Hey, no kissing dares." Jinwoo said, shaking his head with a laugh. MJ made a face,

"What? They're dating." As soon as the words left his lips his eyes widened and he covered his mouth.

"Oops."

"You! You weren't supposed to tell!" Baeksoon slapped the boy but he just giggled. I looked back at Moonbin, giving him a questioning look. How had he not told me? Or, how had I not noticed? Moonbin just avoided my gaze, his face still red with embarrassment.

I was interrupted when Soohyun shifted in her sleep and I looked back at her.

"Okay. Meet up later guys." I set Soohyun back down on the chair,

"Jangmin is probably missing her already." I turned around and kneeled, wrapping her arms around my neck and hoisting her onto my back. She muttered something in her sleep but didn't awaken.

"See ya Eunwoo." MJ waved but I caught Minji's eye. She looked sad, her big dark eyes looking up at me. I set my jaw and turned away.

I was still thinking about her when I slowly walked Soohyun home. The sky was darkening, the air was cool and smelled of summer, but my mind was elsewhere. Was she still upset at me? Did she still possibly like me? Maybe she was jealous? I had heard feelings can't change easily. But I figured Rocky had tried to convince her I wasn't worth it. From the look in her eyes, I began to doubt she'd let me go yet.

To be honest, I missed her a lot. I missed her laugh and the fun we had. I missed talking through the night and blowing dandelions in the fields. I wanted to apologize, but I didn't know how.

"Eunwoo?" Soohyun said groggily on my shoulder. I shifted her higher on my back as she had begun to slide off,

"Hm?"

"I don't want to feel sad." The sudden words surprised me. Her voice was small and upset and it broke every part of my heart. I bit my bottom lip, not knowing how to respond.

"It hurts a lot. I want to be happy Eunwoo..." she went on and trailed off, making me realize she had been saying everything unconsciously. She dropped back to sleep. I felt a single tear fall down my cheek. I wanted so bad for her to be happy. There was so much I still didn't know about her, yet whenever she cried my heart shattered.

"It'll be okay Soohyun." I said quietly,

I promise.

————

I knocked on the door, my back aching from Soohyun's weight. A moment later the door opened and there stood her Uncle. His eyes widened and he quickly stepped aside.

"What happened?!"

I stepped inside and slid her onto the couch, resting her head on a pillow,

"She fell asleep. I guess she was pretty tired." I knelt down and swept a stray hair from her forehead. Soohyun's Uncle covered her with a blanket;

"You sure you kids didn't let her drink anything?"

I chuckled lightly at the thought of such a thing, "Only coke."

I looked back at her peaceful face and remembered her words. At least she was sleeping, hopefully her dreams were peaceful and happy.

Am I in your dreams Soohyun?

I straightened and took a deep breath. Looking around the room, I noticed that the light from the twin's room was off,

"Is Jangmin asleep already?" I asked. Uncle Dong frowned,

"Jangmin? Isn't he with you?"

"No... he came here." I spoke hesitantly, scared suddenly of what could've happened.

"Then..."

"I'll call him." Uncle Dong took out his cellphone. I tried to think of what could possibly happen. Jangmin could have gone shopping, on a walk, to the library. Or-I suddenly remembered the times he'd come into class with wounds. The words he'd spoken, the look in his eyes. And every time he'd go to that one place. The basketball court.

"Aish, he's not picking up." Uncle Dong ran his fingers through his hair with a drawn out sigh.

I grabbed my jacket and hurried out of the room,

"Where are you going?" He looked up from the phone and called after me. I paused at the doorway.

"I think I know where he is."

It was at that time that I wished I would've brought my bike. I ran as fast as I could, my chest heaving and my muscles burning. Something was wrong.

Something was terribly wrong and I knew it.

I swung round into the schoolyard, scanning the entire view of the two story building surrounded by bushes and a neatly clipped lawn.

"Jangmin!" The only response was the loud chirping of crickets. Bending over and heaving with breath I struggled to keep from fainting. The basketball court...

"Jangmin!" I yelled a third time. My voice rang out in the cold and empty air. By now the sun had long since sunk and the school perimeters were scattered with shadows. The basketball court was dark and I couldn't see anything past the murky black.

"Jangmin?" I said his name once more into the darkness, as my eyes beginning to adjust. I spotted a dark figure slumped on the ground; motionless. It was him.

No, he wouldn't.

"Oh no, oh no.. Jangmin!" I hurried over to him and fell on my knees, my breath hitching at the sight before me. Dark blood stained ground, covering his arms and wrists. Not far from his hand lay a knife, the blood clearly contaminating the silver blade. It glittered in the weak light from the lightpost. I leaned close and put my ear to his chest. Hoping, praying that he was alive. I heard the steady thump and relief swamped my body.

Jangmin, what have you done?

My fingers were shaking so much that when I dialed the emergency number I nearly typed all the numbers wrong. My heart was pounding, and the whole time I was hoping it was all a bad dream. After the phone dropped from my hand the darkness swallowed just me and him, just the feeble breath leaving his chest rising and falling and my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

Then I felt tears fall. First one, then two, then countless more. What had happened that Jangmin would do this? Was it the death of his mother?Or the sudden move from Seoul?There were too many questions and no answers.

When the sirens wailed and the ambulance lights flashed blue and red everything became a blur. I couldn't think, I couldn't cry, I could only fight to breathe and keep myself calm. Even when a crazy worried Uncle Dong was leaning over the stretcher, I was staring down at the blood on my fingers.

Eventually the sirens became steady music in my ears along with the thundering of my heart. Even when he was wheeled away into a seemingly endless white corridor. Even when the sights and smells of hospital overwhelmed me. I felt blind.

Then I remembered Soohyun.

In my mind, she was asleep on the couch; safe, and happy in her dreams. No, I didn't want her to see her brother like this. Never. It would break her. I sat down heavily, staring at nothing, thinking of nothing.

Uncle Dong's hand rested on my arm,

"He's awake."

He was sitting upright when I entered, the UV connected to his arm. He looked normal, normal except for the bandages covering his arms. I set my jaw and fought back the lightheaded-ness. I said nothing as Uncle Dong fussed over him.

"I'm fine I promise. A drink of water would be nice though." He smiled faintly at his Uncle who quickly exited to retrieve the request. I examined Jangmin, unsure of what to say.

"What happened?"

His eyes flickered away and I saw him clenching the blankets in his fist. "A lot happened. I'm really sorry you had to see me like this Eunwoo."

"You should be sorry to Soohyun." I couldn't help but let bitterness travel through my voice. Did he realize how much he was going to hurt her? Why was he doing this? Why was he keeping secrets from all of us?

"She doesn't know, does she?!" His eyes leapt up to meet mine and he looked scared. I blinked,

"No. Not yet."

Jangmin swung his legs over the bed and pulled the sleeves past the bandages.

"She can't know Eunwoo. No matter what. She can't find out."

I frowned and felt anger fuel my words.

"Find what out Jangmin?! What is happening to you?"

He paused, sighed, and looked up at me as he sat on the edge of his bed. I saw tears forming in his eyes.

"If she knows, it'll hurt her more. If she knows what I have to sacrifice in order to keep her safe, she'll never forgive me." Now there were more tears falling from his face. I felt tears of my own threatening to fall. He wasn't wrong.

This would hurt her. No matter the reason, she was safe without knowing.