Chapter 48 - 감기 (GAM-GI)[Cold]

Hoseok P.O.V

'This kid really doesn't know how to take care of himself.'

My socks glide along the ground as I threw a few pillows and blankets over my shoulders from my bedroom. Jungkook had been sleeping on his bunk, falling asleep right in front of his laptop. If I hadn't been there to tuck him in then he would've woke up with back pain in the morning.

'But it's all worth it if it means I get to be their hyung.'

I got to the living room, Jimin had fallen asleep just as I entered. Maybe it was best, after all he did work endlessly since this morning. I make sure he's comfortable, placing a pillow under his head and tucking him in. His quiet breathes were drowned out as I put my earbuds in and began watching a drama. But to be honest, I didn't really pay attention. All I could think about was Roxi. Why did she have to go to city hall? I understand that she might've gone at night since she has promotions in the morning, but I can't seem to find any reason to go there unless her parents had to update some of her information.

'Yeah maybe that's it.'

I take a sip of my coffee and sigh, even as the hot liquid ran down my throat I couldn't help but feel cold. Maybe if I thought hard enough I would be able to feel her hugging me. 

'No stop being pathetic.'

The drama had ended and I was left sitting on the couch by myself, my cup emptied out minutes before.

'I guess it's time to get some more rest.'

I get up from the couch, carrying my stuff with me before turning off the lights. I head to the kitchen and begin to wash my cup.

'I should ask Roxi if she wants to hangout sometime. Maybe I can prove to her that I'm able to be a trusted friend.'

A shadow passes by my hands, making me stiffen until the pale moonlight returned. I look toward the window, I could've sworn I had seen something. I run over to the closet to grab my shoes and a pullover before walking over to the nearest window.

'Who would be using the fire escape this late at night?'

The night sky was void of stars, it must have been surprising to see anyone outside this late at night. I open the living room window slightly, the chill breeze biting my fingertips as I did so. A deep voice resonating against my ear. Someone was out there. Instead of going out to check who it was, I waited, seeing as though the person hadn't noticed me opening up the window.

"Roxi-ah...I don't know what to do anymore."

'Taehyungie? What is he doing out there this late? In fact, what's he doing out there in the first place?'

"I feel so guilty. I can't tell anyone else about...it. You know, our promise. It's kinda sad, I don't think I even realize how pitiful this must seem. But I have to tell someone. Even if it has to be the wind."

'What in the world is he talking about? Dammit, Hoseok you shouldn't be eavesdropping!'

"When you and I found out about the arranged marriage. I just...something...ugh shit. I can't even talk to my good ol' friend the moon without becoming flustered. When the time comes for me to tell you face to face, I'll end up choking on my words. I just know it. I just felt like, it was fate. Neither of us knew about this plan, between your parents and mine. It was just so crazy and it was the biggest coincidence I've ever heard of. Out of everyone else in the world, it just had to be you. You just had to somehow meet me, become one of my closest friends, someone I could trust...but then we found out that we were supposed to be married to one another...even through all of that you still stayed by my side. You still kept your promise."

'Oh my god.'

I quickly close the window, making sure to lock it. My back leaned against the couch's soft cushions as my mind sparked with so many thoughts. Like flint against stone, I became heated.

'Taehyung and Roxi? An arranged marriage? Secrets? I used to think I had this whole situation under control. I thought Roxi had a few problems here and there with my other friends. But now...now I know just how oblivious I am to everything around me. I doubt I even know half the story.'

With a shake of my head I slowly straighten up and look out the window. For the first time, I could see Taehyung confessing to the bright orb in the sky.  His face was streaked with tears, he stood against the railing with his white pajamas swaying in the breeze. His hands shakily moved up to his face, blotting any sort of wetness only for more tears to roll down his cheeks. Faint whimpers and nonsensical sounds came from him, droning through the wall and back to me. My heart clenched. I shouldn't have heard that. I shouldn't've heard any of that. I had no right to. Why didn't I just go to sleep when I had the chance. I reached for the window, before slowly pulling my hand back to my chest. The only thing I wanted to do was slam the window open and wrap my arms around him. But if I did that...he'd know that I had heard everything.

'Taehyung. Please forgive me.'

And once again, I glided against the wooden floors. With small drops of tears falling from my eyes, leading a trail of sadness into my room.

Tae P.O.V

'Why does this world have to be so cold and unforgiving? All I wanted to do was get closer to you and now, you've grown on me. More than anyone ever has. I wish we could go back to the way things were. When I would go to your dorm and joke around with you, teasing you constantly. But now, whenever I see you I can't help but feel like we could've had something more. We could've had a family right now. We could've been married. But now, I feel so guilty. Knowing my hyungs like you, which just gives me another reason to stay away from you. Part of me knows that I don't deserve you. The other part wants to trick me into thinking you're meant to be mine.'

My hands wrap around the jewelry box. I know I've found the one. But that gives me no right to call you mine. My hyungs deserve you more than I do, and I know you would never see me as anything more than just your friend.

'Eomma. I'm sorry.'

I raise my hand, prepared to throw away all the memories that could've been. The velvet box tickling my skin as I harness all the energy I have.

'Maybe if I throw it hard enough, it'll come all the way to the moon and back. Then I'll know for sure we were meant to be.'

I close my eyes.

And with the swing of my arm my eyes open.

I can't let go. Not yet. Not when I still feel like I have a chance.

"I'm sorry for breaking our promise."

I tuck the box back into my pajama pocket and sigh.

"Maybe next time."