Chapter 7 - 고백 (GO-BAEG)[Confession]

I've sent my song to the main building and now I am listening to it nonstop, trying to feel every beat and possible movement. My two speakers played as I recorded myself free dancing on the camera I was given.

"What do you all think? I need some dance moves now. Too bad they won't be able to let me practice until Sunday."I whine, landing onto my couch."So...what should I talk about now..."

I sigh and look at my sleeping puppies. Most of my recording were of them, since I didn't know how to spice up myself.

"I guess I should say a few things about myself, I'm Roxi, but my real name is AJ Torrez."I chuckle, realizing I didn't even introduce myself correctly."I'm twenty one years old. Um...I started training at Big Hit three years ago and I've been living Seoul for...basically my whole life. Although, I was born in America. Ah, that place has so many memories. My parents and little brother are residing there at the moment as well as a few friends. I hope that if I ever go on tour that...I would visit everyone."

My mind went blank. The company knew about my family, but they told me that I should give hint that they are still alive and well until the right time comes. Releasing this information during my debut can create huge hits toward my career in the future. As much as I wanted to just calm myself and act like everything's fine, I can't. There's another knock on my door today. I doubt it could be anyone who usually comes to my dorm. The BTS members are getting closer to me by the day. Especially Yoongi, since he comes into my dorm during his free time since his own dorm that he shares is too loud. I've found out how straight-forward he can be when it comes to music. If he likes or hates, he let's me know. But it isn't in a negative way, it's more like advice in a way. A smile forms on my face as I think about how helpful he's been.

"Hello?"I call through the door, opening it right after.

Silence. Was this some sort of prank? I looked to the left and right of the hallway to see it deserted and empty. I was about to close the door until I heard a soft crackling sound from the ground. I picked up the slightly bent note and walked back inside. I placed the note on the side table just to see the note Yoongi gave me a few days ago.

I grabbed the notes and laid down on the couch, Jay jumped onto my stomach and barked before falling asleep."Weirdo. Now, what would be in here?"

I opened Yoongi's note first, only to realize that it was from Jungkook. My thoughts traced back to the day some of the group members came into my dorm, distinctly remembering someone mentioned Jungkook writing something. Was this it?

'Hi Roxi-noona! I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out sometime, I wanna get to know ya better! Here's my number okay! (^w^)

-Kookie'

I reread the note a few times over. Staying completely silent until I let out a pitiful groan while facepalming. Great, I bet he thinks I'm ignoring him or something now. I should call him. I opened up the next note, there were a bunch of doodles on it. I read it to see some quick, sloppy handwriting and many erase marks.

'Meet me at the rooftop at 7:00.'

And that was it. So much for a detailed explanation. I put the two notes on the table and pulled out my phone. I entered in Jungkook's number and sent him a quick text.

And with that I check the time. If I was going to eat I better do it now. It was already six and if I was going to have a long talk with this person I needed to have a full stomach. I put on my white wool beanie, my heavy red hoodie, and my black rip jeans; heading out the door to go visit Sobo-san. I've been helping her every morning since the photo shoot, and she's become someone I can trust all my feelings with. I've been seeing Lim less and less, since she's signed with JYP. But she ends up visiting Big Hit since it's were she debuted. So really, I'm starting to see what it's like to have connections through the Kpop community. 

"Sobo-san, I'll help you with the dinner rush!"I say, entering the kitchen of the restaurant."Where are the p-"

She shoved a piece of bread into my mouth and 'tsked' at me. I looked around to see that she's already done all of the cooking. I chewed the bread and looked around.

"Wow you finished fast."I praise.

"Because I knew you were going to come and offer to help me."she chuckles, patting my shoulder."A woman's got to do something around here. I may be Sobo-san but I'm quite strong."

"I knew that!"I pout, finishing the bread."Is it alright if I have my dinner to go? I have to go meet someone."

"Is it a boy?"Sobo-san coos, finding it fun to tease me.

"Well...I mean...maybe. It as anonymous. But the way I recieved the note gave me high school feels. Right here."I giggle, pointing to my heart.

Sobo-san laughs and gets my food ready."Young love, you better get used to these confessions. Someone with your looks and charm can certainly reel in a few men."

"Pfft! What charm?"I chuckle."See you tomorrow Sobo-san!"

I get my dinner and hurry back to my dorm just as it reached six thirty. I fed my pets and scarfed down a few pieces of chicken before putting the leftovers in the fridge and began brushing my teeth.

"You guys better be good okay. I'll be out for a few minutes probably."I close the door and head to the stairs.

I got to the top of the staircase to see a door that led to the roof, it was held wide open by a stopper.

'Maybe this was a bad idea.'

I turn around to leave until a voice on the roof called my name.

"Roxi?"

"Oh, it's just you Namjoon."

I release a sigh of relief and got onto the roof. My thoughts were right from the beginning, it's beautiful up here. Sure, there weren't any stars, but the moon, cars, and building lights really made this place look like the center of the universe. I returned my focus back to the older man in front of me.

"Was there something you wanted to talk about?"I ask, watching him close the door to cover up the blinding light, still keeping the door stopper in place.

Namjoon walks over to the air duct next to the door and sits down, patting a spot next to him."Sit."

My shoulders shrug, annoyed that my question wasn't answered, never-the-less I sat down and waited for him to say what he wanted to say. The flickering light inside created a buzzing sound, the low chatter and cars really made this place feel ominous. If it weren't for any of those noises it would have been dead silent. My head started to lull to the side out of boredom, quickly snapping back up once Namjoon speaks.

"Want to talk about it?"he asks plainly.

"About what?"I scoff, annoyed by the vagueness of this conversation.

I turned to look at him and it hit me faster than a speeding car...probably a wrong choice of words. His eyes said everything. I quickly looked away and tapped the cement roof absentmindedly.

"Oh...you mean that. I mean, I don't really see the point. What's done is done. It's not like I can get them back if I talk."I say quickly."Like, you see-I...Well...Um. Argh...Why are you asking this now?"

My eyes gazed at the tips of my red converse, I bet they were as red as my eyes. 

"I know you don't think I did, but I noticed that you were trying not to cry when I brought up...you know, your family. Back at your dorm."he confesses, choosing his words carefully."I just wanted to give you time to see if you were alright."

"Yes, I'm fine."I sigh, trying to stop the stinging that attacked my eyes; threatening tears slowly rolled down my cheeks."I'm okay. Just...I just...I can't. I can't stop breaking down whenever they're mentioned...Honestly, I feel so stupid and weak."

A sob leaves my throat and a stream of swears escaped my mouth as I wiped my face on my hoodie, praying that I forgot to wear makeup.

"Hey."

A feeling of warmth encaptured my shoulders. Knowing it was just Namjoon's arm, I accepted the gesture and slowly regained my composure. I waited for him to say something, anything.

"Are you done crying?"he asked, a teasing tone in his voice."Girls shouldn't need to cry this much. Just tell me what to do to make you feel better."

"Well...I think you've done enough."I laugh, seeing him light up from the sound."First off...why do you care so much?"

He seemed prepared for me to ask this question."Why shouldn't I care? You basically saved Bangtan so much trouble by saving us remember? I feel like I should owe you something."

"Like becoming my therapist?"I joke, moving some strands of hair off my face."I guess that's start."

"I was thinking that I should become your friend instead."he corrects."Or oppa, I mean I can be both."

"Oh my god stop!"I laugh, elbowing him."I think I'm done talking about my parents you know. I'll tell you what happened sooner or later, I just...need some time."

"I can wait."

We start talking about lighter subjects like food and some American culture before swapping numbers. He opens up the door and we both head down to our floor.

"Well, I guess this is good night."I smile.

"Yeah, good night."he says, opening up his dorm.

"And hey, thanks for the talk..."I say, walking into my dorm.

"No proble-"

"Oppa."I finish, smirking and shutting the door before he could react properly.

I lean against the door just to hear a high-pitched squeal that made my dogs whine. 

'That was too cute.'