Chapter 5 - 방문객 (BANG-MUN-GAEG)[Visitors]

"Yes. Then...put the couch right there. Yeah. I think that's all. Thank you!"I say to the movers who arranged my new furniture.

They exit my dorm and I look at the new setup of mine. My living room had the 'L' shaped green couch that was pushed against the wall, brown cross-legged coffee table, the black fur rug that I already owned, a flat-screen TV that was bolted onto the wall, a bookshelf right below it that held my anime, kdramas, and CDs, two matching cross-legged side tables at the edges of the couch both held matching modern black lamps, and four tall-legged black chairs that were pushed in beneath the counter in the kitchen. The kitchen was bare because all my cooking materials were neatly organized in the cabinets. My bedroom had the same metal bunk, a brown cross-legged desk, a huge bookshelf that covered an entire wall, a lampshade that was placed on a side table, and two large body mirrors facing my bed. The bottom of my bed was used for my dogs while the top was for myself. I gave up putting up and curtains or blinds since the view was really pretty. Since I was staying here for a week I would need to brainstorm some lyrics, memorize them, create a beat, and plan the idea for the MV. Then I would need to learn the dance, the company would record and edit then I can finally debut. This injury won't affect me after that. 

"Zane-chan, what do you think of our home now?"I ask my puppy with the white collar."Kai-chan, Lloyd-chan, Jay-chan, and Cole-chan haven't gotten out of bed since the movers came in. You're the only one who isn't shy I see. Good girl."

I grab a few copies of manga, my laptop, and my phone before hoping onto the couch. My black exercise shorts and my navy blue hoodie felt very comfy and cozy, as well as my long white socks that allowed me to glide over the wooden floors with ease. Zane snuggled into my legs and watched me as I searched for some inspiration on the internet and in books.

"Zane-chan, should my debut song be a love song? Or a heart break song? I was thinking of an innocent, love type of song no?"I think."Maybe it can sound like a love story but as my songs come out people find out that it's about my family. Now that's an idea. But it'll need to have a catchy beat no matter how depressing the lyrics can be."

I bring up my notes on my laptop, slowly typing out my thoughts.

Naneun geugeos-i oneun geos-eul

Gyeolko boji anh-assda,

Geugeos-eun gichacheoleom na-ege

Tagyeog-eul gahaessda

(I never saw it coming, it hit me like a train)

geudeul-i naleul boass-eul

ttae nun-i banjjag-yeossda

(The eyes sparkled as they looked upon me)

geu ttaebuteo nae

insaeng-i bakkwieossda.

(From then on my whole life changed)

nae salang-eun seongjanghago seongjanghaessda.

(My love grew and grew)

nae mujoega nal-a gassda

(My innocence blew away)

nae salang-eun seongjanghago seongjanghaessda.

(My love grew and grew)

nae mujoega nal-a gassda

(My innocence blew away)

modu changed

(Everything changed)

johdeun nappeu deun

(For better or for worse)

modu changed

(Everything changed)

naneun sigan-eul doedollil su eobs-eossda

(I could not turn back time)

-dance segment-

naiga deul-eogam-e ttala

nun-i ttoggat-i yujidoeeossseubnida

(As I grew older, the eyes stayed the same)

wieseo naleul bomyeonseo,

yeojeonhi salang-ui 

siseon-eulo naleul jikyeobogoissda

(Looking at me from above, still watching me with their loving gaze)

geuleona ildan naega

wilo boass-eul ttae, 

naneun amugeosdo bonda

(But once I look up, I see nothing)

nae salang-eun seongjanghago seongjanghaessda.

(My love grew and grew)

nae mujoega nal-a gassda

(My innocence blew away)

nae salang-eun seongjanghago seongjanghaessda.

(My love grew and grew)

nae mujoega nal-a gassda

(My innocence blew away)

modu changed

(Everything changed)

johdeun nappeu deun

(For better or for worse)

modu changed

(Everything changed)

naneun pogi haess-eo

(I gave up)

-dance segment-

nae salang-eun seongjanghago seongjanghaessda.

(My love grew and grew)

nae mujoega nal-a gassda

(My innocence blew away)

nae salang-eun seongjanghago seongjanghaessda.

(My love grew and grew)

nae mujoega nal-a gassda

(My innocence blew away)

modu changed

(Everything changed)

johdeun nappeu deun

(For better or for worse)

modu changed

(Everything changed)

naneun sigan-eul doedollil su eobs-eossda

(I could not turn back time)

"Zane-chan what do you think? Is it too generic?"I ask, looking at her fur glisten in the sunlight from the window."I can make a beat, but the transcript can wake until tomorrow. I should go find my launchpad, microphone, what else...oh and speaker."

I softly nudge her off my legs to and get up off the couch, placing my laptop next to my manga on the coffee table. Just as I passed it, there was a knock on the door. All five of my dogs immediately got up and ran over to the door, anticipating a visitor.

"Calm down it might just be a mailman or something."I giggle, unlocking the door.

"Hello!"greeted Tae."May we coming?"

"'We'?"I repeat, looking behind him to see Jimin, Namjoon, and Hoseok.

If humans could show physical irk marks I bet mine would show by now. It's not like they could do much damage right? My puppies were here to protect me anyway.

"Sure, come in. I'm just working on a song."I say, letting them into my dorm."Don't you have practice or something?"

"Our manger wanted us to take the week off to recover from our shock. He says that we won't be able to focus unless we have a break."says Jimin."Don't touch anything okay Namjoon."

"I won't break anything promise."he chuckles, although I could see his uneasiness."If I do I'll make sure to pay for it."

"Puppies!"squealed Hoseok."You have so many can I have one?!"

"No."all four of us said, looking away from the pouting Hoseok.

I go to my room an look through my book shelf to take my launchpad and microphone."So where's the others?"

"Yoongi is in bed, Jin's cooking dinner, and Kookie is writing something. I don't know what though. He seemed pretty serious about it though."says Tae.

"What are you guys doing here? Just curious since I don't really have people over."I ask, setting up the microphone and launchpad next to each other, only to feel Cole cling onto my leg."Cole-chan? Let go you'll get fur on it. Are you hungry now?"

I get up once again to the kitchen, my dogs following. The bangtan boys look at each other for a moment before facing me and bowing."Thank you for protecting us last night."

I stood there for a moment, confused as to why they seemed so thankful. I was just protecting myself after all. If I wasn't as distracted I could have avoided getting hurt in the first place. And it seemed weird, having my oppas thanking me for protecting THEM. I started pouring food into the separate bowls quickly.

"Please don't thank me."I sighs, shakily rubbing my cheeks out of embarrassment. 

"But you saved us, why shouldn't we be grateful for that?"scoffed Jimin, clearly confused with my thinking.

"If I didn't show up you all wouldn't have been so scared. When they were hurting me you all realized that it wasn't a prank. I was so distracted, I could've avoided the whole situation and just stopped them without worrying you all. I was reckless. I could've done better...So you shouldn't thank me, it was pure luck that I wasn't shot at."I explain vaguely."My oppas shouldn't be the ones thanking me you know."

I looked up, seeing their faces of understanding. 

"I heard."says Namjoon, speaking in English to make the other members confused."You wanted them to let us go, even if that meant keeping you."

"I was less important. Unlike BTS, I'm still new. The Kpop community won't care if I was hurt since none of them even know I exist."I say back.

"What about your family? Won't they care if you get hurt."he questions, trying to prove his point.

"Dammit."I curse, threatening to throw something across the room."What family are you even talking about?"

"Your parents. Siblings."he says.

I sigh and put my elbows on the counter, trying to keep myself from breaking down.

"Who said I had parents or siblings in the first place huh?"I snap.

'Ah, don't get pissed off he doesn't know.'

"Everyone has parents. Are yours overseas? They still care about you no matter what."Namjoon says.

"What even if they're dead? My parents died the year I was born. Same with my little brother. I don't have a family."

That was enough for him to hold his tongue. I looked back over to the audience looking back and forth between he two of us, just looking at our expressions for hints on what we were talking about.

"Sorry. I...I didn't know."he apologizes.

"It's fine. It's in the past now. Not like they'd come back for me."I admit."Shouldn't you four get to dinner?"

"Shit."he curses, looking at the clock on my microwave."If you need any help or someone to talk to just ask any of us okay."

"Thank you."I weakly smile.

"Come on guys we better get back to our dorm before Jin-hyung gets mad."Namjoon reminds, leading them out of my dorm.

The confused trio walked away, waving farewell to me, once I hear the usual click of the door shutting I let my arms give away. My body plummeted to the floor, everything hurt. My heart, head, everything. I just wanted it all to end. I thought I got over them, but whenever they're mention, I just can't handle it.

'Why is it so painful?'