22 - WHAT???? HOW???? WHY????

I turn around at the voice I heard 'maybe' a couple of times before - when I was in the hospital in Korea. 

What the freakin' shit is this guy doing here? My eyes get bigger as I look up at him and he stares back at me. 

"You know him?" Zu Ho asks in Korean, pulling me out of my hypnotic state. 

"I .... "still, I can't look away from his eyes. "I'm not sure."

"Cris." There are tears in his eyes when he pulls me in his arms and hugs me tight, much to my surprise. 

"Uh...." I feel like crying, too. I don't know why. I push him gently, a bit awkwardly. There are mixed emotions inside me I can't describe. Maybe because ever since I saw him in Seoul I couldn't stop thinking about him and here he is. Or maybe he's hugging me too tight that I can barely breathe. Or even because it's just really an awkward situation. He seems like he knows me. But, who the heck is he ....? Really. "I'm sorry. Do I know you?" I ask in English. I'm not really sure what language he speaks. But, he seems to understand. 

He releases me, but keeps his hold on my shoulders. His eyes look at me in horror ... fear ... or maybe something else. "Cristina. It's me, baby."

Once again, I get dragged out of the short mesmerizing moment as Zu Ho yanks my hand and stands between me and the boy. "Who are you?" He asks him, still in Korean, glaring. 

The boy's eyes shift from mine to Zu Ho's. "Who are YOU?" He asks back. "She's my girlfriend."

I raise an eyebrow as my eyes get bigger - if that's even possible. A cough escapes my mouth and I take a peek from behind Zu Ho, holding onto the sleeve of his shirt. Did he just say 'girlfriend'? What the fuck! 

Zu Ho looks at me questioningly. I furrow my brows then and shrug, shaking my head a bit. "Well," he turns to the boy again, "she doesn't seem to know you though." 

"Mark," the other boy taps him on the shoulder. "She really doesn't remember, does she?"

Mark? So, the dreams I've had of him before, could they be memories from my past? 

"Cristina," the boy, Mark, looks at me again, taking a step closer as he reaches his hand to me. "Please. I'll explain everything. Come with me." This he says in English. 

Zu Ho blocks his path. "Why would she believe you?" 

"Stay out of this," the other boy says - the one I saw outside the cafe last night. "He's telling the truth. We don't want to cause any trouble here." He looks around at some people staring at us from nearby tables. "How about let's go somewhere quiet to talk?"

I turn my head, too, feeling conscious all of a sudden. Then my eyes lock at the four men coming in the bar. "Shit!"

"What?" Zu Ho looks over his shoulder at me then shifts his eyes towards what caught my attention. "Fuck!" I think he recognizes them from the mall days ago. 

"Run." I tell him nervously. Although I know my mom just wants to protect me from whatever it is that is happening, I still want to know what really IS happening. She can't keep me in the dark forever. 

I grip Zu Ho's hand tighter and pull him behind me as I start to run, pushing through the crowd, tables and chairs on our way. 

"Cris!" I hear Mark shouting from behind. "Wait!"

"Hurry!" I tell Zu Ho. I see the emergency exit and run towards it. 

"Wait. Ha Eun," he's saying. "Shit." I think he hit someone or something, yet, I keep on running, still holding onto his hand and dragging him with me. 

We finally reach the exit. I push the door hard and the cool night breeze welcome us ... and more .... I didn't know it was raining cause of the noise from inside the bar. I ignore it though. There's a bigger problem behind us than the big droplets of rain wetting us. 

"YAH! Ha Eun." Zu Ho is trying his best to pull me. I don't know where I get my strength to tow him even as he resists. 

I can't thank the gods more when a taxi stops in front of us. "Get in." I yell, getting in and pulling him after me. 

"Argh...." I think he hits his head on the hood. 

I turn around and see not only Mark and his friend, but also the men, after us. "Hurry, please." I tell the driver, giving him Zu Ho's address. 

Fortunately, he steps on it. I suddenly remember the last time Zu Ho and I were in a taxi in North Carolina. A laugh escapes my mouth. 

"What the heck is so funny?" Zu Ho asks, sounding really irritated. I don't blame him. He must be feeling really burdened with me. I've only caused him trouble since the first day I saw him. 

"I'm sorry." I say, still laughing. He joins me after some time. 

"You're a troublemaker aren't you?" He says between chuckles. "Is this a normal thing to you? Do you do this often?"

My giggles quiet down. Do I? Or did I? I don't know anymore. I know I got myself into a lot of different messes because of my playful character. But, running away from my mom like this, having a boyfriend I don't even remember, having friends and family missing, having one of them die .... what happened during the span of time I don't recall? Why does it feel like I've just erased the most important part of my life? 

I stay silent throughout the ride back to his small studio-type apartment in the outskirts of the city. Only after we've dried ourselves and lay on the only bed that my voice comes out. "You were supposed to tell me about my dad earlier," I remember. "What was that?"

He sits on the floor and leans  his back on the bed. I think I hear him sigh before he says, "You should just go back to your mom, you know. I bet she's worried sick. Or give her a call or something."

I start feeling nervous again ... that same fear I felt earlier when I saw his face when I asked him about my dad. My tears automatically flow out. "What happened to my dad?" I ask. 

"He's .... fine...I think." He looks down at his hands, "The girl told me ... he called and said..." he clears his throat, "he'd be staying away for a while."

"You talked to him?" I crawl to the edge of the bed, grabbing his head and turning it so he'd look at me. 

"No." He removes my hand and goes back to looking down. "It's just what the girl said. She said that he said to tell you not to worry about him. And that you should just go back to your mom."

"He said that?"

"Yes." He finally turns to me and sighs. "Well, that's what the girl said." A weak smile forms on his lips. He startles me when his hands go to my cheeks and uses his thumbs to wipe my tears. "So, stop crying already. You look really ugly, brat."

"So, where is he? Did the girl tell you where he is right now?" I ask, frowning. 

He shrugs his shoulders. "I didn't ask." 

I guess it's a dead end then, isn't it? There's nothing here for me anymore. Should I just go back to mom then? Then what? "Can I ask you one last favor?" 

He chuckles. "What is it?"

"You remember my friend who died?"

He nods. 

"I want to visit her grave. Can you .... I mean ... if it's not too much of a bother, I just need to know where she was buried. And ..." It's even hard to say the words 'grave' and 'buried' since Trey's death hasn't really sunk in yet. I feel my tears starting to form again. Trey's mom's angry face appears in my mind and I can't help but feel guilty, though I don't really know why.

"Hey." He gets up from the floor and sits on the bed. "We'll go see her. Then you go home. Ok?"

I nod. 

"Promise?"

I nod again. 

"Great." He smiles again. "Now, sleep." He puts two fingers on my forehead and pushes, making me fall on the bed. 

"Zu Ho?" 

"What again?" He sits back down. 

I furrow my brows, fixing my gaze on the wall. "Do you think the guy earlier was telling the truth? About ... you know ..." I feel my cheeks burning. 

He laughs. "That you're he's girlfriend?" He gets up from the bed and walks towards the cabinet, pulling a blanket and a pillow out. "You think anybody would want to have a bratty girlfriend like you? Not to mention, troublesome."

I sigh and pull my own blanket over me. Then why did he say I was? 

And I dream about him again that night. 

_______

I wake up in the morning with tears in my eyes. I don't remember exactly what I dreamt about, but, I know Mark was there, so was Lara. I was crying and screaming in it though. 

We set out early that morning. Zu Ho is able to get some info on where Trey was buried from some neighbors. We drop by for flowers before going to the graveyard. 

I can't control my tears as I walk the path and see her name written on the tombstone. 

Maria Therese SmithJune 7, 1993 - August 29, 2016

I kneel on the grass, sobbing out loud. How can this be? It was just a week before my mom took me back to the States .... Just over a month ago. 

"I'm sorry!" The words come out my mouth over and over. 

I'm not really sure how long I've been on the ground, crying. I feel Zu Ho beside me, his hand rubbing down my back. 

"Cristina?" A familiar female voice comes from behind and I slowly turn my head around. "It is you! Oh my God!" She looks shocked to see me, even putting her hands over her mouth. "You're alive."

"Karen?" I immediately get up and hug her. She sobs on my shoulder and I cry on hers. "I'm sorry." 

We stay like that for a while. She pulls away and walks towards the grave, crying louder as she puts the flowers down. Based on her sobs, just like me, I think she hasn't been here since Trey died. Even after their break up more than a year ago, I knew they still loved each other. Although she was in New York because of her studies, she'd still often ask us how Trey was doing. 

She gets up after a long while and sits beside me. 

"Uhm... do you know what happened to her?" I brave to ask. 

She furrows her brows as she looks at me. "Nobody does. I haven't been to their house yet. You know her mom hates me. But, from what the others said, she was in Korea with you before she died. That's why I was surprised to see you here. You just .... disappeared."

Korea? Trey was in Korea? With me? 

"What happened to you?" She asks me. 

"She went to Korea?" I ask instead. 

"Yeah." She looks shocked that I didn't know. "She followed you there. Weren't you training?"

"Training?"

She stares at me longer, her face questioning. "In this entertainment agency ... as a singer. You even called me before and told me about it."

Moi? Trainee? In Korea? So, what happened to going to Korea for surgery then? My mom lied to me about that, too? Why?

She spots Zu Ho who's laying on the grass with his eyes closed, and smiles. "Is that him?"

"Huh?"

"The guy you went with to Korea..." she says it like it's something I should know. "You know..." she shrugs her shoulders, "Lara's ex that became your boyfriend?"

"WHAT?????"

"What's his name? Mark, is it?"