15 - I'm Lost

I squeeze my eyes shut in hopes that, when I open them, I'd be back in LA - at a time when everything was peaceful, when none of these things happened, when I didn't know Lara was lying to me, when I haven't met Mark, when Trey was still alive and Uncle Ed was just the funny uncle I know he was. I want to go back to the time when I could run to my Grams when my dad would get mad at me, or when I turned to Lara when a boy makes me cry; at a time when I thought all these wouldn't happen to somebody like me. 

"Cris." That voice again. 

I tighten my hold on the cold sheet, squeezing my eyes harder. None of this could be real, could it?

"Cristina." He sounds nearer. The next thing I know, I'm pulled into his chest as he hugs me real tight. 

Was it three months since the last time I held onto him? Since the last time I smelled his cologne? Since the last time he took me in his arms? Has it been three months since he last spoke to me? Has it only been three months? But, it felt longer, much much longer than that. 

I admit, I've missed him. I feel warmer being in his arms again. I feel safer. 

"Babe, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about everything," he cries, hugging me even closer to him as I continuously sob. "Everything's gonna be ok, baby."

Oh how I missed him calling me that. 

But, that's something I should be missing even more. It takes all my self control not to move my arms and wrap them around him. I purse my lips to stop them from telling him how much I've missed him and that I forgive him just as long as he stays with me. I squeeze my eyes shut to prevent them from looking at the face I've so longed to see. 

"Cristina." It takes another boy's voice to free me from his grasp as Jackson enters the morgue. 

I immediately step away from Mark and run to him. "Jackson!" My arms go around his neck and I cry louder on his shoulders as he puts his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. 

"Sssshhh. It's ok." He whispers, stroking my hair. "You're ok. I was worried. I thought ... " his voice hitches as he tries to stop himself from crying, too. 

"Get me out of here, Jackson," I say between sobs. I feel myself being lifted from the ground and I bury my face on his chest as he carries me out the nightmare of a room. 

But, before we can get farther out, "I'll take it from here, Jackson," Mark stops him, grabbing his arm.

Jackson puts me down just to turn and face Mark. "Says who?"

"Mark!" Uncle Ed comes out of the morgue, too, walking towards us. 

Mark turns to him, furrowing his brows. "Yes?" He must not have recognized him yet. But, when he removes his cap, I see Mark gasp. "E...Ed? You're alive?" He looks at me then back at Uncle Ed. "How?" He quickly gets to me, shielding me from the old man. "What are you doing here?"

The old man sighs, "Can we discuss this later? We need to get out of here before Sean would know both of you are here."

"Don't come any closer," Mark says, taking a step back, grabbing my hand as Uncle Ed steps forward. 

"What's going on here?" Jackson asks, clearly confused at what's happening.

"Jackson, go get the car," Mark is saying, tossing him the keys without taking his eyes off the old man who is now hesitating to come near and holding onto my hand tighter behind him. 

Jackson quickly runs out. I'm supposed to follow him, to get away from these two and just take the car and drive somewhere far, but, Mark's hand stops me. He walks backwards, gently pushing me towards the exit. 

"I'm here to help, ok?" Uncle Ed is saying, putting his hands up in front of him to show Mark he's harmless. "Mark, c'mon. I'm really sorry. But, we can talk later. For now, we have to get out of here."

We're almost at the door and I already see a car outside, Jackson coming out of the driver's side. He motions me to run. But, Mark is still holding my hand, following me out fast, opening the back door and letting me in. 

"You drive," he tells Jackson, getting in the car after me. 

"Where to?" Jackson asks as soon as he gets in and starts the car. 

"The dorm." Mark simply answers before facing me. "Why were you with him? Was he the one who took you last night? What did he want?"

"Mark. Let go." I swat his hands as he squeezes my shoulders. I roll my eyes at him, looking away. I still can't find it in myself to look him in the eyes. I'm angry, yet, there's something inside me that's leaping for joy knowing that he's here.

I unconsciously slip my hand in my jacket pocket and take a pill from the bottle inside, popping it in my mouth without me even realizing it. This is just too stressful for me. How can so many things happen all at once. 

"Cris," Mark lets me face him again. "What were you doing with Lara's dad?"

"What do you care?" I roll my eyes again, avoiding eye contact with him. 

"Can you not give me that attitude now?" He almost yells, gritting his teeth to stop himself from doing so. 

I raise an eyebrow at what he just said. "Attitude?" How dare he? What the fuck!!!!! I chuckle sarcastically then tap Jackson's shoulder. "Stop the car!"

"No, Jackson," Mark says, still looking at me, "Drive!" He lets me face him again. "What the fuck were you doing  with Ed?"

"He said he wants to help, OK?" I shout. 

"And you believe him?" He stares at me wide-eyed. 

"Do you think I'm that stupid?" I'm still yelling, trying so hard to avoid his eyes, "Do you think I had a choice? He took me last night if you haven't heard yet." I furrow my brows at him. "Why are you here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for your wedding? Huh, MARK?"

Somebody clears his throat and we both look at Jackson at the driver's seat who's looking at us. "We're here." Just then that we realize we're already in front of the dorm. 

"Out." Mark tells Jackson as he moves to the front. He immediately starts the car even before I could get out.

"MARK!" Jackson, who's outside yells, banging on the window as the car speeds away. 

"We can't take him with us." Mark explains to me even though I didn't ask. 

"What the fuck!" I shout, trying to open the door but he's already locked it and the car is already going fast. "MARK! Where the fuck are you taking me?" I hit his back. "Let me out."

"I can't. I have to get you out of here." He shouts back. 

FUCK! I don't know what to think anymore. I just hope that the pill would work its wonders so my mind would calm down even just for a short while. I need to organize my thoughts and I can't do it with Mark driving like crazy. I take another pill and put it in my mouth, resting my head on the back of the chair. 

Tears start flowing again when I remember the girl we left behind at the morgue. I need to call her parents, don't I? I need to contact my dad, too. Where is he anyway? 

Suddenly the car goes in an underground parking of a hotel. Mark quickly gets out and opens the door for me. "Let's go."

"Why should I go with you?" I pull my hand away, moving to the door at the opposite side. 

"Damn it, Cris. Can you just listen to me and follow." He seems really angry. I don't care. He's not the boss of me. 

We're both standing at either side of the car. I'm thinking of running, but he'd surely catch me without difficulties. 

"Please, Cristina." He has his eyes closed and he's leaning on the hood of the car. 

I roll my eyes at him, staying where I am. 

"FUCK!" He hits the top of the car and takes out his phone. "Are you there?" He says on the phone. "Get down at the parking lot right now." He orders and I get nervous. What is he planning to do? He then glares at me with his angry eyes and I just raise an eyebrow at him. "I know you're angry right now. You have all the right to be, Cristina. But, you know it's not the time to talk about that. There are more important things we're dealing with at this moment. Just ...." he hits the car again, "please, Cris. Trust me, just for this. Please."

"Trust?" I chuckle. "Do you know what that word means, Mark? Fuck! Just take me back to the morgue. Nothing is more important to me than Trey right now."

"I can't. You have to stay with me so I can keep you safe."

I shake my head, wanting to laugh again. Safe? Where was he when I needed him? Where was he when I was so scared? And now he wants to protect me? Is he serious?

"Can you just come with me? PLEASE, CRISTINA. We can't ....."

Just then a speeding motorcycle comes down the parking lot. Both of us turn to it. 

Then shots. 

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