Chapter 8 : The Blank Walls

Before I could imagine where he's run off to, my kettle starts to hiss.  The smell of lavender tea overtakes my kitchen. The floral and sweet smell puts my mind at ease.

As I take a sip from my tea I look around. The house hasn't felt this empty since the day I moved in. It's somehow eerie, I guess I got so used to Metal being here.

I take another sip in an effort to stop thinking about Metal. There is no point to this. I did what I wanted to do. Fixing Metal was my only goal and I reached it.

Being upset won't change the fact that Metal's gone for good.

For good, huh? I look at my tea blankly. Would I be happier if he hadn't left? I mean he didn't want to be here and I'm well aware of that. Am I selfish for wanting him to stay?

This is pathetic.

I need to get my act together.

I quickly finish my tea and put my cup in the sink. It's time to clean everything up and do some chores. I put some music on before starting to clean. Putting on music and cleaning is very calming.

Humming along to the music, I do the dishes that I've been neglecting. I haven't been keeping up with any of my responsibilities. At least I can focus on myself now.

I scrunch my face at the thought of all that work that I've been ignoring.

This day is not gonna be fun.

As that thought crossed my mind I heard a sound. I don't know if I'm imagining things. No, I'm sure I heard something but I just don't know what.

"What is wrong with you Amy? It's probably nothing" I think to myself. Paranoia is the last thing I need.

While drying off my hands, I try to calm myself down.

"I'm alone. I'm sure that noise was just the wind or something like that" I say to myself in a useless attempt to comfort myself. I need to just calm down and maybe talk to someone.

Talk to someone? Oh right, I still need to tell Tails about Metal. I'm sure he'll be happy about this being over. I mean I'm happy too or am I? Skepticism is the only thing on my mind.

I look at my hands and see all the small cuts, bruises and blisters. It makes me feel...upset. I don't feel accomplished or proud of what I did because he isn't here anymore and I hate that I'm even thinking about this!

I close my hand and sigh. Silently looking at my living room I stare. "....It's really empty." I said to myself quietly. A bittersweet smile starts to show on my face. "This is what I get for being this naive." a tear starts to trickle down my face

I really hoped he would stay. I really thought there was a chance he would become my friend and I don't know why I thought that. Burying my face in my hands, I try my best to not let my emotions get the better of me but it's no use.

I miss Metal.

The realization doesn't help my mood. With puffy eyes and a runny nose I slap my cheeks.

"It's okay. I'm allowed to feel these emotions! I just need some time and I'll get over this"

I can't let this get me down! I'm going to get back up on my feet.

With new found motivation I rush through my chores. I do everything as quickly as possible.

"I'm done! Finally this house is clean!" I shout in excitement.

The crying really helped me get back on track. Now that I'm done cleaning I can finally call Tails and update him on Metal.

Rushing to my phone I dial Tail's phone number. As I wait for him to pick up I get a moment to think about how I'll break the news to him. 

After waiting for a while Tails finally picks up.

"Amy?" he says in a slightly drowsy tone. I guess he was catching up on sleep, considering his sleep schedule. I'm not surprised.

"Tails! I hope I didn't wake you but I have important news to tell you" I try to sound as happy as I can, trying my best to cover up my real thoughts.

I pause before continuing.

I don't want to say it. I don't want to acknowledge the reality of Metal not being with me anymore but I have to.

I take a deep breath and stop stalling.

"I-I'm done with Metal." It felt like I was choking on my own words.

"I finished him up yesterday and he left right away. I just wanted to thank you for helping me out. I couldn't have done it without you."

I  nervously twist the cord of my phone.

"I'm just happy it's over. I hope you won't regret this Amy."  Ah there it is. I was expecting this..

"Listen Amy, I'm not judging you for what you did. I understand why you wanted to do this; however this was one of the most foolish things you could have done." guilt washes over me, staring at the floor, it felt like I was a kid again being told off for running too far.

"Not only did you go to an Eggman base alone but you also brought an extremely dangerous robot home! Not to mention you weren't even planning on telling anyone!"

I haven't heared him get this angry before.

"Why are you treating me like a kid? I know what I did! I needed to do this. I couldn't leave him there Tails!" raising my voice, I kept going.

"You seemed so understanding when I told you about this. What changed? If I knew this would happen I would've just kept my mouth shut." anger became sadness.

Anger, sandness, frustration, guilt struck me all at once. We've never fought like this. Nothing makes sense anymore......

"Amy I'm just worried" Tails tone softens.

I get it. I really do. If anyone else did this and told me about it I wouldn't be any less angry than Tails.

It just hurts, This feels awful.

I hold back tears, "I know Tails, Just let me be." I hear the muffled pleas of tails trying desperately to keep me from hanging up but it was useless.

I hung up and just stood there for a while.

.............

This hurts a lot.

I sink to the ground, putting my head against the wall.

I wanted to scream, cry and punch the wall yet I couldn't move an inch...I just sat there, looking at the wall emotionless.

It felt endless. Minutes, hours, days it all felt the same. I couldn't tell you how long I just sat there on my knees facing the wall. Does it even matter?

The phone kept ringing but after a while it became white noise.

This is not worth it. I did the right thing. Why am I being treated like this? I couldn't just leave him there yet no one gets why I did this?

Tear drops hit my knees. My blank stare now is full of tears.

"I HATE THIS! I THOUGHT MOVING AWAY WOULD MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER."

My screams echo through the house.

"AFTER ALL THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED ON THE STARFALL ISLAND I THOUGHT I WAS MATURE, I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS READY TO LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND YET I'M THE ONLY ONE STUCK" screeching as I ball out my eyes.

"What happened to me?" I question myself.

"What happened to my friends? I haven't talked to Knuckles in months, Tails probably won't talk to me and Sonic..."

We lost everything we had together as a team and it's all my fault. Crying into my hands I just think about everything and anything. Sobbing, I looked at my phone in despair. Finally noticing how many calls I missed. Trying my best I stand up.

My legs shake

I've missed so many calls from Tails. I'm sorry Tails but I can't do this right now.

Finally I move from the spot I've been kneeling at for who knows how long. As I was doing so I heard another noise.

Am I hallucinating from all the stress?