Injured Since Day One

WARNING: A lot of mentions of self harm and eating disorders. I forgot this in the description (it is added now) but for any readers that might not check the description here it is. Please do not continue reading if you even think my story could trigger you. Stay safe and enjoy the chapter. :)

Harry's POV

I fall directly onto Malfoy and scramble to get up. My head is pounding, I believe I may have hit it on the table as I fell. I manage to pull myself up and turn to make sure Draco is okay and see him looking at me already.

He glances at my head and grimaces. I give him a look of confusion and he simply touches my forehead pulling his hand away and showing it to me. A dark red liquid covers his fingers and I slowly realize that I am bleeding.

"Oh. Well, I'll just go to a teacher and ask them to heal it. I guess." I say quietly. He nods and I turn around trying to head towards the exit but I suddenly feel extremely lightheaded and my legs are barely supporting my weight. I see bright, tiny, white dots scattered across my vision and I swear I hear a high pitch buzz from my right.

Draco's POV

Harry falls over and I can tell he has passed out. I sigh and pick him up knowing most of the teachers and students have already left the train and he needs help. He is a lot lighter than I anticipated and I nearly forget he is in my arms on the way to the horseless carriages. I manage to get in a last minute seat with Loony Lovegood and Neville Longbottom. No surprise that their carriage had space.

They gave me suspicious looks when I began to climb in but immediately lost interest in me once they saw Potter. They took turns asking questions and I tried my hardest to be patient seeing as they were his proper friends and not me. I answered as best as I could and managed to only snap twice at Longbottom and once at Lovegood. I simply ignored their comments about how this seemed like something I would do and instead reminded them of who carried him from the train.

The rest of the ride was silent and I carried Harry to the hospital wing certain that it was only a minor cut that could be cured using 'episkey' but decided that should be up to Madam Pomfrey.

When he got to the hospital wing Madam Pomfrey began to heal him. I was correct with the cut being simple however she said a couple things I wasn't expecting such as, "Although this was an easy fix, he is severely malnourished and I am unsure of a quick way to fix that. He also has deep gashes on his wrist that he seems to be letting heal without magic. Those could be healed quickly, however he may have more somewhere else on his body I am unsure of. We will have to wait for him to awaken to talk to him about it. You may go down to the Great Hall for the sorting if you wish. Oh, and resorting will be held tomorrow morning at eight."

I nod and try to take in everything she just said. I sit down and decide I don't care about the feast seeing as I am not very hungry anyway.

Harry's POV

I wake up in the hospital wing. I sit up and turn my head to the right to see Draco sitting in one of the uncomfortable chairs asleep. I am utterly confused and look around trying to remember why I am in here, and why Draco, of all people, is here.

I finally give up and say Draco's name loud enough to wake him but too quiet to wake Madam Pomfrey. He rubs his eyes sleepily before opening them and looking at me, yawning. "Mmh? Yes, Harry?"

"Why am I here? Why are you here?" I respond.

"When you passed out I carried you here so Pomfrey could heal you. I am here because I need to talk to you and I am the only one, aside from Longbottom and Lovegood that knows you are injured. They visited earlier but Pomfrey said only one person could stay over night, I won that argument."

I nod, "You needed to talk...?"

"What? Oh! Yeah. Well, your head is fine but Pomfrey said you are malnourished and that could take a while to fix and that you had deep gashes on your wrist." Draco says. I can tell that he has more to say but wants me to talk about that first.

"Those? Oh, those are nothing important. Especially not to you Malfoy. Why do you even care?"I say trying to sound rude, hoping he will storm out and forget all about this. My plan seems to backfire instead and he mumbles, "You did it to yourself. It has to do with my bullying you, doesn't it?" He is on the verge of tears and I can't believe he is crying over something as stupid as this, as me, his enemy since first year.

"No. It has nothing to do with me being constantly bullied by every Slytherin at school and my own blood at my ex-home. No way that could cause me to feel bad about myself." I say sharply, noticing the tears falling freely down his face. It reminds me of the one other time I saw him crying. I nearly killed him that day.

"Listen, I am sorry. I was a horrid person when we still attended school. I was following in my father's footsteps and I regret every second of it. I regret ever bullying you and everyone else. The only power I ever had was fear. I am so used to being scared I learned how to scare others. It was a stupid way to deal with my life and I hate that I did it. However, I am trying to be nice here so just simply answer my questions." He said pleadingly.

"Why should I?" I say.

I can tell he is thinking hard and then he says, "If you don't I will tell Ron and Hermione all that Pomfrey told me." Fear strikes me and I don't want anything more than to avoid them finding out. I nod, "Okay. Ask anything." He smiles triumphantly.

"How long have you been, ya know, harming yourself...?" He trails off.

"Since Christmas break of first year." I say, looking down at my lap.

"Why?" He says in an almost concerned voice and I feel ten times worse.

"I realized that everyone had loving families to go home to. Everyone would have something special from home. The only thing I had was a stupid scar on my forehead. I was already getting bullied, as I had at my old school. I was tired of the stupid pattern. I figured if I hurt myself, nothing anyone would say could hurt me anymore. Too bad that isn't how life works." I feel the tears run down my face mid speech and I continue to look down. I wish he didn't have to see me like this. I just told him that he had got to me, all those times I pretended he didn't, he now knew he did.

"Why haven't you been eating? How long has that been going on?" He says in a choked up voice and I feel horrible knowing it is my fault he feels this way.

"It is something I can control. It used to be just a summer thing, it was easy since the Dursley's rarely fed me anyway. I could control that, I couldn't control Dudley and his gang. I couldn't control my hair growing long directly after a haircut. I couldn't control anything. I could control my eating though. I had to, or else I would end up like the Dursley's. Overweight. Then, everyone in my life started to die. I couldn't control that. So I stopped eating during school too." I almost started talking about my bulimia until I realized he didn't ask about that. He probably only thought I was anorexic.

"One last topic. The dreams, how often do you have them?" He asks monotonously.

"I told you on the train. That was the first time in a while." I say with false confidence.

"Liar. Why don't you stop lying before our whole discussion ends up getting to your dear friends?" He says fiercely and I wince.

"Alright. Every time I close my eyes. Happy now?" I say just hoping to end this.

"Not quite, what are they about?" His voice is back to its cold drawl that I am so used to.

"The war." I say simply.

"What were Ginny's last words?" He says randomly.

Tears come more rapidly and then I say, "Why do you want to torture me? Make me remember these things? You really wanna know? They were 'I love you, Harry, please move on.' Why the hell do you care so much all of the sudden?" I glare at him.

"I don't know. I just do. How have you, the boy who lived, managed to be injured like this, since day one?"

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. It took me time to write. I am quite proud. I am sorry it is crap, I am pretty sure I forgot how to write properly. Please try and enjoy this chapter. I tried super hard. ~Alyssa. (1600 words, not bad right?)