Chapter 2 - I'm not sorry

“I like them.” Jessie says as we get ready for bed. We were currently in the bathroom doing our stuff that any teenage girl would do before bed. There was only one bathroom so we had to share. At least it was a fairly large bathroom.

I spit out the toothpaste that was in my mouth into the sink. “Who? The boys?”

She rolls her eyes. “No, One Direction. Yes the boys.”

I roll my eyes in turn. “You do like One Direction though.”

She shrugs. “True. But seriously. The boys are nice. We should hang out with them more often.”

I nod. “They are nice. And funny. I like the jokes that William tells. He's hilarious.”

Jessie laughs. “Definitely. You can hardly tell that he's twenty three.”

My mouth drops open. “How do you know that?”

“He told me.” she said with a shrug.

I stare at her with no expression for a moment but then smirk. I look back in the mirror and I put my toothbrush up. I mess with my hair a little bit before Jessie gives me a quizzical look. “What was that look for?”

I look at her like I don't know what she's talking about. “What was what look for?”

She rolls her eyes at me again. “I know what you're thinking. And it's not true.”

I raise an eyebrow at her. “What's not true?”

“The fact that I like Will. Well, it's not a fact because it's not true. I mean I like him, but not like that.” she says quickly.

I chuckle and pat her on the shoulder. “Sweetie you're rambling. That means that you're nervous.”

Her mouth drops open in shock. Knowing that she would say something to protest, I quickly walk away towards my room. I hear a second pair of feet behind me, knowing instantly that Jessie was following me. I knew she was going to follow me.

“Hey wait a minute!” she says just as I open the door to my room. I turn to face her with a bored expression upon my face. “I really don't like him like that.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah. Right.”

“I don't!” her voice squeaked.

I give her a look that makes her close her eyes slightly ajar mouth. She looks down and shakes her head. Suddenly her head jerks up and she smirks as well as crosses her arms, indicating that she just thought of something. I honestly do not like the look on her face right now.

“What about you and Ethan? You two seemed to be flirting a bit here and there today.”

I blink in surprise. I never knew that we were flirting. Of course, I am oblivious to those kind of things. I always have been, and it always bits me in the ass later. I didn't even mean to flirt with him. I acted how I always act around people with them. Do I flirt when I try to be myself? Do I always flirt with people when I talk? Oh my God. Am I a whore because I accidentally flirt when I talk?

“I was not.” I say calmly even though on the inside I'm freaking out. “I don't like him like that and I never will.”

She frowns. “Yes you will.”

I shook my head. “He's hiding something. He doesn't trust me, so therefore, I don't like him.”

Her mouth drops open again. “how do you know he's hiding something?”

“Because I asked if I could see his tattoo's after I showed him mine and he denied me and left.” I said in a 'duh' tone of voice.

“Maybe he just doesn't want you to look at his tattoo's.” she countered.

I opened my mouth to say something, but quickly closed it because I didn't want to sound like a stupid whining five year old. I sigh. “I'm gonna go to bed, Jessie. I'm tired. We'll talk tomorrow.”

Before she had a chance to say anything, I slipped into my room and closed the door. I walk over to my bed and grab my water along with a Benadryl pill. I take the pill then put my headphones on. I turn my music on and play Give me love by Ed Sheeran. I lift the window that was above my bed up slightly so that I can get some fresh air while I sleep. I crawl into my comfortable bed and close my eyes. I slowly let the voice of Ed Sheeran and many others lull me to sleep.

I woke up to the smell of bacon filling my senses. I pulled my headphones that were still on off and stretch. Forcing myself to get up off of my comfortable bed, I brush my hair out quickly and got downstairs. It's then that I can distinctively hear the sizzle of the bacon in a frying pan and the sound of the coffee maker producing coffee. That's not all I hear. I can also hear talking and quiet laughter. I slowly walk towards the kitchen to see if I can decipher who's talking besides Jessie. All I can make out though is that the person, is has a rather deep voice, is speaking in a British accent so it's one of the guys, minus Sam.

I roll my eyes.

Watch it be William.

I walk into the kitchen, stopping Jessie's and, well I'll be, William's conversation. I get a coffee glass down from the cabinet and fill it with coffee. I leave it how it is and sip it. The heat and the moisture of the coffee runs down my throat and into my body, pretty much waking me up from the heat of the drink. I turn back around to see both Jessie and William staring at me with blank expressions. Neither of them spoke a word.

I take another sip of my coffee and shake my head. “Oh, sorry. Don't mind me. Continue with your conversation. I'm not paying attention.”

Jessie still stares at me with a blank expression. Slowly though it turns to a look of shock. “What are you doing up this early?”

I look at the clock on the microwave. It read 9:37 A.M. I stare at the clock as I take another sip of my coffee. My mind starts to wander constantly from the time to how fantastic my coffee tasted. To make sure my mind stayed on one topic so early in the morning, I replied to her question with: “Hm. Now how about that. I woke up early for once.”

“Do you not usually get up in the mornings?” William suddenly asks.

I shake my head. “I usually get up at twelve or two in the afternoon. I would just now be falling asleep if I hadn't of taken Benadryl last night.”

He chuckles. “That sounds like Ethan.”

Jessie grins and looks at me with a mischievous look in her eyes. “Hah.” she says.

I roll my eyes and finish off my coffee. I set it down in the sink on the other side of the sink since one cup of coffee in the mornings was usually enough for me. When I turn back around, William was looking back and forth between me and Jessie slowly with a furrowed brow. He was obviously confused about something.

“Did I miss something?”

I shake my head. “Nope.” that was an obvious lie. To cover it up, however, I look at Jessie and lick my lips slightly. “When's the bacon gonna be ready?”

She smiled, gladly changing the subject with me. She turned back around and put the cooked bacon onto a paper towel covered plate. “They're done. Careful though: it's hot.”

I grin and grab a plate form the cabinet. I sit on the counter while I eat my bacon and just the bacon.

“Well I better be going. Thanks for the coffee, Jess.” William says as he gets up.

Jessie spins around to face him and gave him the puppy dog face. He looked kind of shocked to see this, but then relaxed and just stared at her.

“You can't stay for breakfast?” she asked softly while showing him the freshly cooked bacon. There was more than enough for both of us two girls, which quickly makes me think that she purposely cooked more than enough for two teenage girls.

William opened his mouth to say something and started to, but he cut himself off with a sigh. “I'm sorry, Jessie. I can't. I have to get back to the guys.”

Jessie pouted then looked down. “Okay … Well, thanks for stopping by at least.”

William stared at her for a moment then sighed again. He walked over to her, which made her look up. He smiled at her and took a piece of bacon. His eyes lit up as he chewed.

“This isn't that bad.”

It took her a moment to register what he had said, but once she did, Jessie smiled and grabbed the plate. She held it up for him, and he gladly took some.

He walked over to me and gave me a smile. He sat next to me on the counter. I don't smile, but just continue to eat my bacon.

After a while, the room gets filled with sudden music. Jessie and William jump, while I just stare at William's lit up pocket. I was too tired to have a reaction to loud noises at this early in the morning.

“Hello?” William said as he answered the phone. “Oh, hey, Mate. I'm at Jessie's and Marnie's having breakfast … Bacon … I don't know … Maybe...” William chuckled then looked at Jessie. “Can the boys come have some breakfast with us, Love?”

Jessie started blushing at being called “Love.” “Yeah sure. I'll make pancakes?”

William nods and almost instantly, Jessie gets out instant pancake mix down. She starts making the batter quickly while William tells them to head on over. While they're occupied, I sneak upstairs to get dressed. I don't want to seem lazy in front of our new neighbors who happen to be five boys. That would seem like a terrible impression about myself.

When I get dressed and I'm actually happy with the outcome, I go downstairs. The boys were already down there obviously. It took me nearly twenty minutes to get dressed – which it usually takes me about five – so of course they're already here.

Sam and James were sitting at the island while Jessie and William sat on the counter. I found Ethan leaning against the fridge, and Edward...

“What are you doing, Ed?” I asked as I shook my head. Ed was cooking.

Everyone looked over to see me, including Ed. They all smiled and gave me hello's. I smiled and just waved as a response.

“Well, I'm cooking. Jessie was having troubles so I helped.” he explains.

I raised an eyebrow. “Jessie needed help cooking? That's a first.” I looked over at Jessie, giving her a look.

 She shrugs with a slight smirk then finishes off the pieces of bacon that was in her hands. I roll my eyes and walk out of the kitchen to go to the living room. I sit on the couch with my feet pulled up next to me. I sat there by myself for a while before the boys and Jessie joined me on the couch. Jessie sat next to me, William sat next to her, Ed sat on the arm next to William, Ethan sat on the other arm next to me, and Sam, along with James, sat on the floor. All of them had plates with large pancakes piled high and drenched in syrup. Sam had the most on his plate.

Since it was a Sunday, and the morning, Jessie grabbed one of the many DVD's off the shelf and put it in. I didn't have to ask her what it was since I already knew. She had put in Loony Toons like she always does on Sunday mornings.

By the time Loony Toons was over, everyone had finished their breakfast except for me. I never finished my food, and I wasn't sure why. By now it was normal. I took everyone's plate while they started watching the next disk of the two disk part and went to the kitchen. Before I entered, out of the corner of my eye I saw Ethan start to get up. I went to the sink and set the plates in the sink on the left side and cleaned them on the right. Having a double sink was amazing.

A figure stood next to me as I grabbed the second plate to clean. I knew it wasn't Jessie instantly when I saw the tan skin when they put their hands on the counter top. I looked over to see Ethan, who instantly gave me a small smile. I smiled back and looked back at the plate I was cleaning.

“Can I help you?” he asked. I hadn't realized that his voice sounded familiar until he spoke when there wasn't such loud noises in the background. I shrugged it off, not wanting to over think things so early in the morning.

I shrugged in response to his question. “Sure. You can load the dishwasher and I'll hand you the dishes.”

Ethan gave me a smile and moved to my right side where the dishwasher was. He bent down and opened it up, pulling out the bottom shelf. I handed him the plates and he set them in the dishwater.

“So what made you guys decide to move to Alaska? Nobody ever moves here unless they don't have a choice.” I told him, just wanting to strike up a conversation.

Ethan was the one to shrug in response this time. “We just wanted a change of scenery. We've all lived in the U.K our whole lives and wanted to go someplace else. Someplace new. Not that it's a terrible place to live in the U.K, it's absolutely amazing. It's just … Yeah...” Ethan rubbed the back of his neck nervously when he realized he was rambling.

I chuckled and shook my head while placing the next clean plate in the dishwasher. When I looked up, Ethan was giving me a look that said “really?” I chuckled again and winked at him with a smirk. I could have sworn I saw him blush as I looked away.

“So what's your story with Alaska?” he asked as I handed him another plate.

I shrugged as I cleaned. “There's not much to it. I moved up here when I was barely two because my dad is the superintendent for Doyan Associated. My parents talked about moving multiple times, but I never did.” I shook my head as I said it.

“Why didn't you?” he asked in curiosity.

“I moved out when I was sixteen and moved into my sister's apartment a couple months before they moved. My mom thought it was a good idea for me to move in with her since my sisters mentally disabled and can't work. I helped pay for her bills.” as I described moving out to him, my voice got quieter and was replaced by a tone of despair. I just hoped he didn't notice.

“Is that the only reason why you moved out?” he asked in the same quiet tone. He must have heard the despair.

I slowed down with cleaning my plate. I stared down at the sink, staring into space except I was still completely aware of my surroundings. “I moved out because of problems at home. My dad was – is – an alcoholic, and one night things got bad at home. The cop down the road heard screaming and arrested my dad … A few months later my dad had left the state and my mother died in the hospital because of a head injury.” we said nothing to each other as I paused. I set the dish down in the sink and gripped the counter top. I couldn't believe I was telling someone who I just met yesterday part of my life story when it took me ages to tell Jessie about it. “He's still out there somewhere. I know he's looking for me. I can feel it.”

Things were silent between us again. Neither of us said a word. The only thing that was making noise was the water from the facet running into the wink and the laughter of the others in the living room.

Ethan finally broke the silence but spoke softly. “I'm sorry about that. That's not a very happy way to get stuck here.”

I shook my head, handing him the last half clean plate. I didn't feel like finishing with cleaning it. I bent down and opened the cupboards under the sink to grab the soap that goes into the dishwasher. I put a pod into the dishwasher then stood up and closed it. I started it up, and it started immediately. I leaned up against the counter, sitting on it slightly. I looked at Ethan, who had been watching my every move.

“Don't feel sorry for me.” I said quietly. I wasn't angry at him. I wasn't angry at all. In fact, I wasn't sure what I was feeling. “I'm not. I don't care that I got stuck here. I like it here.” I sighed and shoved the hair that was falling my face out of the way. “Besides. I'm leaving soon anyway.”

Looking at Ethan's face, I saw him get pale. I don't understand why though. All I said was that I was leaving. What's the big deal about that?

“Where are you going?” he asks before I have a chance to ask if he's alright.

I stay silent for a moment to see if he'll add something; but he doesn't. I wasn't exactly sure what I was waiting for, really. “I'm not sure. I applied to five colleges around the states to make sure I get out of here. Hopefully I'll get accepted to one. With my luck I won't.”

Ethan gave me a disapproving look. “You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you'll make it. Where did you apply?”

I hopped up onto the counter since I had a feeling that we were going to be here a while. I counted the schools I applied to on my fingers. “New York, Boston, California, Kansas and Maine. I want to go somewhere big, or historical, or just a plain small college. I'd be more comfortable there.”

“Why not stay here then? We saw the college when we got into town. It looks decent.” he offered. It sounded as if he was desperate, but I could have been wrong. I must have been.

I shook my head. “I love this place. Honestly, I do. I just...” I trailed off, not really knowing what I was going to say next.

“You need a change of scenery.” Ethan offered.

I smiled and nodded. Ethan gave me a warm, friendly smile back. My heart skipped a beat, well, actually multiple beats. My face flushed. I could feel it. I looked away so Ethan wouldn't catch my flushed face and my pounding heart beat that I was sure even China could hear.

Jessie bounded into the kitchen then, and I was glad that she did. Both Ethan and I looked over at her smiling face.

“Come on, you two. We're gong on a field trip.” she says gleefully.

I raised my eyebrow then looked at Ethan. He gave me the same look. We both look back at her at the same time.

“Where to exactly?” Ethan asked before I had a chance to say anything.

Jessie shrugged. “I don't know. That's the fun part of this field trip.”

I slowly grinned, loving this side of Jessie. Sometimes, well most of the times, she was quiet and didn't like doing anything. She usually stayed at home and spent the day in her pajamas until she went to work. That was up until recently. By recently, I mean yesterday. I'm sure William had something to do with this. I'm one hundred percent sure he did. I'm glad too. Jessie being happy and giddy was amazing. I loved this side of her, as I already stated.

“Let me grab some stuff and then we can go.” I said as I hopped off the counter. I ran upstairs and grabbed my phone and wallet along with my glasses. I was the one most likely going to be driving. Jessie didn't have her license, unlike me. I was almost sure that the guy's didn't have licenses either since they just moved here.

I started walking out of my room to go back to the others, until I passed the mirror on my wall. I stared at my dark brown curly hair and blue eyes. I wasn't beautiful by all means, but I would admit that I was pretty. I stared at the make-up on my dresser and bit my lip. I never wore make-up, unless an important event was happening.

Then again, spending time with Ethan was an important event...

 I quickly grabbed the make-up and started making myself look beautiful for Ethan.