Soldatino ~ A Nico Di Angelo Fanfiction

Nico Di Angelo had many secrets. One of which, was clostrophobia. His fear of small spaces began (understandably) when he was kidnapped. For days, weeks maybe - he wasn't paying attention to how long - he was held in a bronze jar, just big enough to curl up in a ball. After the whole "Percy and Annebeth rescue mission" thing, he knew that he felt uncomforable in tight spaces, but didn't figure out how severe his fear was until he used a gas-station bathroom. He almost blew up the whole side of the highway.

Of course, he kept his phobia a secret, never even uttering a word of it. What was he suppose to do? He didn't want to be babied by his friends, he didn't want their pity.

Another one of Nico's secrets: he had been abused.

After he and his sister Bianca had escaped the Lotus Casino, they had been put into foster-care. The first family was nice enough, the mother had smiled happily at the two children, the father patted their heads, and the three kids often played with their foster brother and sister. But all good things must come to an end, right?

The family had to move because of the father's job, and they couldn't afford to take the two with them. So, back into foster-care they went. The next couple of families were also very nice, but each one had given them back.

One day, a foul-smelling man walked into the agency. He had greacy and discusting hair as brown as mud, with a prickly beard. His eyes were miss-mached; one brown, one icy blue. His smile was twisted, as if he were planning something sinister.

That day, the creepy man brought the two siblings home. Everything was all smiles from the man until they had gotten in his car.

"Alright brats," he sneared, "shut up and buckle up." The two children did as told.

Nico was only eight the first time Chad hit him. All he had done was ask to change the channel on the T.V. He wanted to watch the Power Rangers show he had recently discovered.

Chad - the man with different colored eyes - had slapped him across the face and told him to shut up. When Bianca had yelled in Nico's diffence, Chad had hit her as well. After that day, the beatings grew long and more violent. Everytime they did something that Chad didn't like, everytime they didn't do what he told them, or sometimes just because he feels like it.

They had learned to do exactly as they were told. If Chad told them to buy him a bag of chips, they pick-pocketed the money (because Chad would never give them any) and bought a bag of chips. If Chad wanted them to go buy him a beer, one of them - usually Nico, because he was younger and cuter - would go up to the store clurck and distract him (or her) while the other would smuggle a six-pack of beer out of the store. If Chad told them to sleep outside, they slept outside. It was that simple.

They learned to fend for themselves. Chad never made dinner, so Bianca was often the one to do the cooking. They snuck out of the house many times, offering to mow the neighbors' lawns for money, in order to avoid pick-pocketing and stealing as much as possible.

Another secret; Nico still had the Hades figure from Mythomagic.

He had grown out of the stupid "Mythology" game years ago, and had gotten rid of all of his cards and figurines, yet he couldn't find it in himself to part from the little metal statue of his father. Bianca had given her life because she thought it would make him happy to have the game piece. How could he just through it away?

Not only did he keep the figurine, but he had it made into a necklace. A few days after the Titan War, he had given it to Tyson, Percy's Cyclops brother, and asked him to put a metal clasp on the top of Hades's head. Tyson had nodded his head eagerly, hardly able to wait to make the "pretty jewelry" for Nico.

Now the game piece hung from his neck, safely tucked away inside of his shirt. It rested right next to his heart, just something to remind him of Bianca.

Another secret; Nico liked pain.

He would let his frustration build until he couldn't take it anymore. He felt like when his blood fell from his wrists, his problems fell with them. He felt in control, felt alive.

Being the son of Hades, he felt dead almost every second of the day. He smiled every time he cut his wrists, knowing that as long as he could bleed, he was alive.

Another secret; Nico hated nightmares. They plaged his sleep, forcing him to hear the screams and wails of his memories. Every night, he would see Tarturus for what it really was, a gigantic immortal entity. He felt the burning sensation he had felt in Tarturus, the feeling of knives making their way down his throat as he breathed.

He heard the whispering of hopeless souls, incouraging him to just lay down and close his eyes, knowing full well that if he had, he wouldn't wake up again. But it was so compelling. All he wanted to do was to shut his eyes, firmly place his hands on his ears, and yell "Lalalalalalalala, I can't hear you!" at the top of his lungs.

There was only one way that Nico could get a good night sleep. He took the CD seemingly out of thin air. He had learned that it was easy to shadow-travel inanamit objects, as long as they were small enough.

He put the disk into the CD player and plopped down on his bed aboard the Argo II, sighing hevily as the tape began to play.

=*=

Everyone had secrets, but for a groop of eight people to share the same secret was a pretty rare thing to come by.

It wasn't like they were trying to spy on Nico, they all mentally swore on the river Styx. After sending Nico to bed because, quite frankly, he looked like Hades - no pun intended, they were suppose to be talking about important things, but they weren't really getting anything done. So, since Leo was trying to be productive, he took out his Wii controller (which I have dubbed the "Wii-mote") and a screen apeared in front of him.

Pressing the "A" button, the screen turned on, showing him images of different rooms inside of the Argo II. He lazily flipped through shots, checking the sicurity cameras, until he accidentally went to Nico's room's camera.

Leo saw Nico laying on his bed in a care free manner, gently tossing a ball in the air, and catching it again. He was going to change to another camera, not wanting to invade on the dark boy's privacy, but was stopped when he heard a female voice from inside Nico's room.

"Hey Nicky!" it - or rather - she said.

At the sound of this invisble girl's voice, both Percy and Annebeth went ridged. They looked as if they had seen a ghost.

"Th-that's-" Annebeth was cut off by her aquattic boyfriend.

"Biannca..." he muttered quietly. "Leo," he turned to face the Hispanic boy, "what are you watching...?"

"Just some live sicurity feed. Why? Is this 'Biannca' person an intruder? Why aren't my scanners picking up anything?"

The son of the Sea God's face turned grim. "Biannca's dead."

"Oh..."

All of the demigods gathered around the son of Hephestus, their curiosity getting the best of them.

They watched as a small smile made its way onto Nico's face. To say that they were shocked was an understatement.

"Hey Bi-onkers," he replied to the voice lightly.

"Quit mixing my name with the word 'bonkers', I don't appreceate being called 'Bi-onkers." At this, Nico laughed.

"If your listening to this, then I suppose that I'm on a quest with the Hunters or something like that, but don't worry your cute little head! I'll be back before you know it!"

The pale boy's smile turned grim. "Sure Bianx, sure."

"Well, I guess you'd like to tell me about your day, huh? I'll let you do that."

His smile brightened slightly as he paused the recording. "We'll, my day was pretty packed. We rescued Percy and Annebeth from Tarturus, Frank became Praeter, Hazel mastered the mist, and so far the earth is still spinning. That's always a good thing." He tossed the ball across the room, wincing slightly as it crashed into a small trash bin, knocking it over. He reached inside of the neck of his shirt and brought out a small statue of a man Percy knew to be Hades.

Percy's eyes widened. He still had that? After all these years, it was hanging around his neck the entire time?

The dark-eyed boy studied the figurine, continuing to speak.

"You should have seen Hazel today. Gods, I'm so proud of her."

Everyone glanced at Hazel, her cheeks heated a brilliant red.

"So," Reyna spoke quickly, not wanting to miss a single thing Nico said. "Who exactly is Biannca? I have yet to figure it out."

"Nico's sister." Annebeth explained, "She died when she found that little statue around his neck. She saved Percy and a few Hunters of Artimis from one of Hephestus's old statues."

Reyna nodded, admiring Biannca's courage. They all turned their attention back to the screen as Nico began to speak again.

"And I know I used to hate Percy, but... I'm starting to think of him as a brother. Who knows, maybe I'll tell him about what happened with Chad. I mean, I think it's about time that someone knew, it might as well be Percy."

"I'll listen to whatever you have to say." Percy mumbled to himself.

"Jason... he doesn't judge people because of stupid things... I think I'm starting to trust him."

When questioning looks were tossed at Jason, he only shrugged, as if to say, "Who knows what he's talking about...?" Though inwarly, Jason smiled brightly.

"And Frank...? I think you would aproove of him for our little Hazel. He's nice, and he use to play Mythomagic too. Of couse, he wasn't as good as us, but you know... what ever."

Hazel reached for her boyfriend's hand, gave it a soft squeeze, and smiled giddily at him.

"I don't think that I could do the things that Leo does." A few eye brows were raised.

"I mean, he's kind of afraid of fire, you know, bad experiances and stuff, but... He uses it every day. Could you imagine what would happen if I had the power to control my own fear?"

He laughed lightly, "I know I wouldn't be able to handle it. I mean, it's so silly. What's so scary about being in a small room? At least Leo's afraid of something that's actually dangerous. Seriously, what would happen if word got out? Everyone would be talking about it. Nico Di Angelo, Son of Hades, Ambassador of Pluto, the Ghost King, is claustrophobic."

As he stated all of his impressive titles, he made a hand gesture that remineded Percy of an episode of SpongeBob. (Imaaaaaginaatiooonnn.... XD)

"He's claustrophobic?" Piper asked, clearly surprised.

"It does make sence." leo mused, "I mean, he was thrown into Tarturus and shoved inside a jar, for who-knows how long." Everyone agreed with the son of Hephestus. It was understandable that Nico would be afraid of tight spaces after his experiance. But, no one really expected him to be afraid. He was Nico Di Angelo, the boy who hung out with the dead, the boy who stayed in the shadows, the boy who wasn't afraid of monsters, and spent most of the time out of both camps, where it was safe. They knew him to be someone who wasn't afraid of anything, so their discovery shocked them all to the core.

"This is stupid." The son of Hades frowned, "I'm talking to a recording of my dead sister, telling her about all my little problems. I bet I sound emo right now, and I hate that I pretty much am just that. Emo, the kid who has too many problems, right? The kid who whines about how life sucks, and that everyone's against them. I don't want to be that. I don't want to be the little cry baby. So I'm going to quit."

Quit what!?

The eight demigods wanted to scream. They soon got their answer.

Nico pulled off his wrist-band, rubbing at the scarred flesh. He stared hatefully at the scars that littered his arm, before pulling the band back over his wrist. He sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"I hate looking at it. It's pathetic. I don't even remember starting. I just do it. What's wrong with me? Why can't I be normal? Or at least a normal demigod. I swear on the river Styx, I will stop."

Thunder boomed in the sky. Nico was silent for a long time, as were the other dimigods. What did they just see? Nico cut? And they never noticed? Everyone was drowning in their own guilt.

Leo thought that he was asleep. He was about to shut the camera off, but stopped as the dark boy started talking again.

"Annebeth's really smart, you know Bianx? I bet she'd know why I do all of this stuff. She could help me... But what am I suppose to say? 'The son of Hades needs help coming out if his little emo corner'?" He shook his head. "I'm probably better off by myself. it's easier for everyone.

"I wish you were here Bianca, I wish I could really talk to you, and that you'd be able to listen. I know you chose rebirth to help me to move on, but... what am I suppose to do? I lost my big sister, in every way, shape, and form. I'm just lost..."

He hugged himself tightly, turning on his side.

"Well, I suppose you don't really want to listen anymore... It is getting pretty late, so I'll just-" He pressed the play button on the CD player. A few seconds later, Biannca's voice could be heard once again.

"Well, I'm not sure if you said a lot, or a little about your day... and I'm not sure if you had a good day or a bad one... So, just remember that I'll be home soon, 'kay bud?"

Nico nodded drowsily, a wave of tiredness suddenly hitting him full force at the soothing sound of his sister's voice. He gave a tired yawn before his sister spoke again.

"Anyways, I think it's around bed time, don't you think? So get under the blankets and I'll make all the nightmares go away."

Nico half-heartedly pulled the covers over his lithe body. He snuggled his head into the soft, dark pillow and sighed as he closed his eyes.

The demigods watched him prepare for bed with a sad smile on their faces. Nico let himself be known as a hard core, intimadating, all around bad dude (not bad as in the litteral sence, of course), but as they watched him, they saw the child he could truly be at times.

None of them were expecting Biannca to start singing, but she did, never the less.

"Close your eyes,

I know what you see,

The darkness is high,

and you're in ten feet deep,

But we've survived,

More terrible monsters than sleep,

And you know I'll be here to tell you to breathe..."

They saw Nico relax under his covers, slowly drifting off to a place that, his friends hoped, would be filled with happy dreams.

"Tu sei il mio soldatino,

(You're my little solder)

La ragione per qui vivo,

(The reason I live)

Non ti scordar di me,

(Don't forget me)

Io vegliro su di te,

(I'm watching over you)"

The demigods heard Biannca's beautiful voice, singing in what they belived was Italian. After every line in Italian, she would sing it in English as well, which gave the song a soothing, eco-y affect. They listened on.

"Stumbling lost,

The last choise of all that you meet,

It's the cost,

Of ruling those 'neith your feet,

Paths you've crossed,

And trust you're trying to keep,

You're exhausted,

Listening for a voice that can't speak..."

Percy felt as if there was a hole in his heart. This song was probably written for Nico, and they couldn't have worded it better. The poor boy's had so much heart-ache. He's lost everything.

No,

his mind practically shrieks at him, He still has you! That was true. Nico had said it himself, he was a brother to the boy, and he would be the best big brother in the world.

"Ma Nico mio caro..." Yup, it was definatly made for him.

"Tu sei il mio soldatino,

(You're my little solder)

La ragione ho vissuto,

(The reason I live)

Non ti scordar di me,

(Don't forget me)

Io vegliro su di te,

(I'm watching over you)"

By now, Nico was fast asleep, snuggled deep into the soft blankets, a dull - but noticalbe - smile graced his pale face.

"So you run,

Through shadows you roam,

Seems undone,

By the love you thought you could own,

But he's just one,

Of many that you might call home,

And maybe someday,

The bitter will fade from your bones...

"

In Jason's eyes, that verse couldn't be more acurate. Nico use to run from his problems - Hades, he still does. He almost winced when Biannca said those things about wanting a love that he could never own. That sounded like his old crush on Percy. It's not like the others figured this out, as he was the only one that knew his secret, but he felt terrible for the smaller boy.

"Eri il mio soldatino,

(You were my little solder)

Ora un principe oscuro,

(Now, a dark prince)

Ma anche per te, c'e una luce,

(But even for you there is a light)

Che ad un'altra vita ti conduce,

(That leads you to another life)

"I love you Nicky."

The tape stopped.

=*=

Percy and Nico walked along the beach, shuffling through the sand. Gaea had been defeted the week before, and they were still recovering from the celibration. It had lasted for days, with fireworks and sugary sweets and - of course - its fair share of Party Ponies. Dakota had drunk way too much cool-aid, and laid passed out even now.

The two cousins walked calmly along the shore line, until Nico suddenly stopped. Percy raised an eye brow.

"What's wrong, Nico?" He asked, his sea-green eyes shining with consern.

The son of Hades sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. "Percy... I need to talk to you."

"All right," Percy replied, taking a seat on a rock. Nico sat as well.

"I've been keeping a lot of things secret... and, I'd like to share a few of them... You know, to start opening up..."

"I'm listening," he promised. Nico took a deep breath, bracing himself for scorn and reticule.

"Before Biannca and I came to that boarding school, w-we were in foster care... I don't remember how long we were there, but this one guy... Ch-chad..." He bit his lip, casting his head down so that his hair covered his face.

Percy remembered Nico talking about this 'Chad' guy, back on the Argo II.

"He wasn't the nicest person. One day, he just appeared and took us home with him. H-he... He use to hit us, Percy... I-I don't know what I did, b-but if I hadn't opened my stupid mouth... He wouldn't have hit Biannca..." The younger boy started to shake. Percy lifted Nico's chin with his hand, revealing the tears that silently cascated down his pale face. Percy frowned, pulling Nico into an unexpected hug.

To say that Nico was surprised would be an understatement, but he exepted the imbrace, cluching to Percy's shirt and letting the tears flow.

"Gods, Nico... I had no idea... I'm so sorry..."

"N-no..." Nico gently pushed away from his cousin's brotherly imbrace. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't be bothering you about all of this stuff, it's my problem anyway."

The son of the Sea God shook his head, the frown still present on his face.

"Nico, you can tell me anything, I don't care what it is. I'll listen and help you through it. You're like a little brother to me, and I can't stand to see my little bro all sad."

Nico's teary eyes widened. "Y-you... think of me as a brother...?"

"Of course I do!" Percy all but screamed.

Nico blushed slightly, turning his head away only for a few seconds before he faced his cousin again.

"Th-there's more..."

And so he told Percy about his fear of tight spaces, his addiction to hurting himself, his nightmares, and - imbaracingly enough - the only way he could sleep at night without having nightmares. Percy listened intently, nodding his head and hugging the boy when he broke down crying. He promised Nico that he would help him quit his harmful addiction, that if he had a nightmare, he could go and see him, that any time Nico needed him, he would be there.

=*=