Chapter 37

The sky was still overcast days later and drizzling when a familiar figure moved towards the gates of Konoha. Their sudden appearance from the surrounding forest caught the attention of those on the wall as a ninja greeted them at the entrance.

"State your business," an ANBU Ninja said.

"Just resting for a period of time."

"For how long?"

"A week, maybe more given the circumstances."

Being granted entrance his eyes skimmed the streets. There were few patrons outside which was to be expected in this cool, dismal weather. But the farther he moved inside the Village he could pick up on the very familiar chakras of his former teammates, excluding one. Knocking on the door to the Hokage's office, seeing as how Shizune was nowhere to be found, the woman called for him to enter, catching the rather surprised look on her face.

"Well then, I was wondering when you would come by again, Sasuke," the woman greeted. "It has been a while."

Formally, yes, as the ninja remove the hood that was dripping wet to reveal dark strands of hair that had grown out a few inches from his travels. Then there were the instances he would sneak in undetected. Most of the time it was just to observe its occupants, mainly Mai. However, during his most recent visits she had not been around, working in the field. Instead, he would stay in her home in secret much like the first time she caught him before moving on. Though this time he was determined to catch her upon leaving. There were certain thoughts of his that had been plaguing him for weeks, months that needed answers from the one person that was the cause of them.

He followed Naruto's chakra through the streets. It was no surprise he found the knucklehead at his favorite ramen stand with Sakura, Sai, Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji. They were beginning to leave when the blonde's head turned in his direction instantly pausing before giving a strained smirk.

"About time you showed up," the knucklehead said.

The comment caused everyone's brows to pinch in confusion before following his line of sight. Instantly Ino's eyes lit up, even Sakura, but not as much, which slightly intrigued him. Maybe she was finally getting over her obsessive nature with him that was a relief in itself. Though it was obvious Ino refused to give up when she shouted,

"Sasuke!" and nearly tackled him in a hug,

His pointer figure to make contact with her forehead warding off the attempt as she stumbled back a step rubbing the now sore spot with a pout.

"So mean," she muttered lowly.

"Where have you been?" Shikamaru asked.

"Around," was the Uchiha's answer.

As his eyes continued to survey the group, who began talking among themselves on what they should do for the rest of the late afternoon his sights paused on Naruto, standing towards the back. His expression was not a pleased one, which was a rather uncommon emotion for the naturally overly happy ninja. Arms crossed over the chest in a rather standoffish manner their eye contact was only broken when Sakura suggested something and they began walking.

There was little they were able to accomplish though as it finally began to rain. Individuals in their group peeled off to head home for the evening until only the two of them remained.

"If you have a problem, spit it out," Sasuke finally stated when alone. "It's obviously been bothering you this entire time."

"What the hell took you so long?" he asked. "Were you taking your time returning to Konoha?"

Sasuke's brows narrowed. "I wasn't doing nothing."

"Were you really so 'busy' you just couldn't stop by even for a moment."

"No, I was on the other side of the Sand in Hot Water Country." A thought struck him. "Did something happen?"

"For once, why don't you stop thinking about yourself and your mission to become stronger and take a good look at those here in Konoha? Weeks are tolerable, but months?"

The ex-rogue was becoming concerned. "Where's Mai?"

His shoulders shrugged. "At home, probably. She hasn't come out much since the last mission."

The Uchiha studied him carefully.

"It really... fucked her up. Not physically, but mentally. I'm tired of seeing her close herself up to people who want to help whenever something like this happens. Whether if it's due to a mission, or you leaving." The raven-haired ninja went to say something, but was cut off, "You're never there, Sasuke! And whatever she saw, whatever happened, it involves the two of you. So fix it, because none of us can and we hate seeing her this way. Apologize for your absence. Apologize for not being there when she needed you."

The blonde left the Uchiha with a lot to think about in the rain that continued to soak through his clothing.

First, the ninja did what he did best by breaking into the hospital undetected and reviewed their files. If something happened mentally then they would have information. It was a dead end. Everything appeared to be normal given her results and responses when interacting with the doctors. But the Be Fong was clever as the file was slipped back into place.

Instead, he sought out Ibiki's squad and slipped inside, however could not find anything recent. Which meant it was either hidden deep within archives, completely out of reach, or was still in the possession of the Hokage. Not wishing to be caught by staying a moment longer the older teen moved through the growing shadows of the Village through the rain.

The woman had stepped out of her office to attend a meeting, which worked in his favor. The ex-rogue glanced quickly through the stacks, still coming up empty handed. He needed to know though. Needed to understand what had occurred in his prolonged absence. Sights setting on the locked draws of the desk he picked at them. Finally, Sasuke found what he was looking for at the bottom of a stack of high-ranking A-missions. His stomach dropped recounting the details provided, what had actually occurred instead of lies to bury the truth, and what Team 7 had come face-to-face with and fought against. Alongside all of that were further details on the possessed sword and its past crimes regarding other hosts. It made his grip on the papers tighten, Sharingan appearing in the pupils and swirling in anger. This was what Naruto had been talking about. Of course she wasn't all right. How could she be? But once again the Be Fong was covering it all up.

Quickly locking up the desk and being sure everything was in order so no one noticed he was spying, the Uchiha left.

It was dark outside. The rain had let up a bit so it only fell softly against the rooftops. The sliding doors to Mai's home were wide open allowing the cool breeze to flow through as she had dressed in comfortable lounge pants and an oversized long sleeve shirt. There was a steaming cup full of tea in her hands, inhaling the aroma before taking another sip. It was absolutely refreshing, shoulders rolling to release some of the tension in her. The rain was always calming.

Moving around the home and organizing a few things Mai wandered into the bedroom. She set down the cup and thumbed through a few stacked books. Something to read sounded good right about now.

There was a shift just beyond the wrap around porch causing the Be Fong's head to snap up. The ninja drop what she was doing in order to scan the open area outside the door. It was moving in the shadows, strings reaching out to survey the area for the potential threat only to freeze up upon sensing the chakra signatures. They didn't stay hidden for long as the figure move closer just illuminated by the moon trying to come through the rain clouds overhead and the dim candlelight coming from the home.

"I knew I would find you here. Though I almost half expected you to be training, even in this weather."

Sasuke Uchiha was standing before her in all his glory, hands stuffed into the pockets and staring back at her. For the first time in Mai's life, she felt more conflicted then ever as the sword's dark words came back to her.

You cannot trust anyone.

That's why you became what you are. I can see your heart. Your darkest memories. Your fears. And your desires.

Who are they to order you around? They are beneath you. You are a god amongst mortals.

They have come here to stop you.

From becoming stronger.

That's what you've always wanted. To be stronger.

Because he is doing the same.

It's the only way he'll come home.

You've always wanted to prove yourself. That you don't need protection. You can look after yourself.

Those that you have held dear in the past have always turned their backs on you. It is only a matter of time.

What good has come from any of it. After everything you have done you are still alone in the end.

Because the one you really want isn't there.

He never is.

Because he never cared.

"Mai..."

During her train of thought he had entered the home to stand just a few inches inside.

Raising her head, the older teen fixed a dangerous glare on the Uchiha, making him wary. Crying out in rage Mai grabbed one of her kunai, throwing it head on at him. The teen caught it between his fingers.

"Mai–"

"Get! Out!" she screamed, throwing another, which lodged into the wall where his head had been. "Get out! Get out! GET OUT!" A comb, small hand mirror, anything she could find. "I don't want you here! Just get out!"

"Will you–?"

Finally finding another kunai, Mai threw with precise aim. Sasuke had to truly run. The Phantom Ninja was not messing around, pulling a hidden short blade from a drawer and rushing forward. Drawing his own, the two clashed, staring each other down.

"You really want to kill me, don't you?" the Uchiha wondered.

"I'd be better off without you!" she snapped.

A foot came up, slamming into his gut. Using the momentum, the older teen spun around, blade coming up and aiming for the neck. Sasuke saw the attack seconds before impact, twisting out of the way. It ripped into the wood before getting stuck, the ex-rogue using the time to throw two shuriken. They ripped through the fabric of the clothing, but Mai pulled away as it tried pinning her to the wall, fishing out a hidden short sword.

Jabbing left and right, all Sasuke did was dodge and defend himself, his opponent's movements striking like a snake. Trying to throw her off, or at least slow the older teen down, Sasuke's blade came in from the side swiftly. However, the weapon was there to protect the skin, its owner unwavering. Chakra gathering in a foot, it slammed into Sasuke's gut, the ex-rogue flying through the wooden sliding doors and out on the grass. Splinters and chunks of the now broken door littered the area, though the concern of the damage could wait till later.

Sasuke stood, Sharingan finally activated. He couldn't see any movement in front of him. Eyes widening, they turned up, seeing Mai come in from above. She threw the blade forward, causing him to rush out of the way. Before it could lodge into the ground, it whipped back around, chasing him. Ten more weapons joined the first, all fighting back the ex-rogue. Sasuke didn't expect another less of her.

Having seen enough, lightning swirled around his body, throwing back the weapons, and traveling down the connection between them and its wielder. Cursing, Mai cut the bond, only constructing another as it wrapped around her childhood friend. The older teen was thrown off his feet and to the ground, being dragged across the slick grass and thrown towards the line of trees.

"I want you to leave and never return," Mai stated coldly.

"I'm not leaving," he stated, pulling against the binds.

"I will kill you. With a simple tug I could cut you to pieces." He hadn't seen such hostility since they were on two opposite sides of the battlefield.

Suddenly, Sasuke was gone in a flash, startling her.

"We both know you'd regret it."

The voice came from behind, hot on her neck. Eyes widening by the speed, Mai whirled around, throwing a fist up in a punch. He caught the attack with ease before flipping and throwing her through the air. Sliding across the ground, the ninja managed to pull herself upright. Her opponent was nowhere in sight, but with a split-second decision, Mai hurled herself to the left and out of the way of a low chakra lightning attack.

Before she could observe the situation, a hand was around her neck, pulling the Phantom Ninja backwards through the air. Back slamming into the side of the house, Mai's breath rushed from her lungs, finding it difficult to breathe.

"If you had taken my advice in the first place so many years ago and lived in town, someone could've rescued you if need be."

"I don't need any damn help. I can protect myself."

"Obviously. Your skills have grown, even since the war, but I am still better."

"You can go to hell."

His eyes examined the person he had captured, who glared back in response, hands gripping his wrist tightly.

"You've changed."

"No thanks to you."

His mind thought back, wondering what she would say if voicing an old memory, an old conflict. Maybe then he could see the real damage that had been done out there in the field. What would she say now?

"Deep down, you know why I couldn't take you all those years ago."

And she snapped, "That didn't mean you had to leave either! And without a proper goodbye! I would've been happier if you'd have been a man about it and approached me! Who the hell says goodbye with a simple note! That's not a goodbye! That just shows that you were running away and a coward to show your face to anyone!"

The grip tightened.

"And that's not the only thing you've run away from. You've never been there unless we were in a dire situation! But that shouldn't be the only reason why you suddenly appear! Don't we mean anything to you? Or are we so expendable that you honestly couldn't give a damn?" She didn't give him a chance to speak. "I want you to leave, now!"

Sasuke loosened his hold, enough so that she could easily slip out of it. Though there was something that held her there. Maybe it was a stupid question to ask, but she did anyway.

"Why did you come back? And don't give me that bullshit that you 'missed me'. We have been down this road countless times in the last two years. You're here for one minute, and gone the next without warning sometimes. I had no idea where you're going or for how long. But when you are here you actually show affection towards me and then there's nothing. Yet you almost expect nothing to be wrong when you return, as if you think I'm okay with all of this. Well, I'm not! I've had enough!"

There was no answer he could give her in that moment with the state she was in, the Sharingan disappearing as he stared her directly in the eye.

"Why don't you just come home?" she dared to whisper.

"I thought you didn't want me here."

"I don't if you're going to leave for so long, where I'm left wondering what your thoughts are towards me. So did you come here just to say goodbye again, or will you stay?"

"A little bit of both possibly... I can only stay until the end of the week most likely."

Another glare came to Mai's eyes. "Then I want you to go away."

A small smirk came to his lips. "Make up your mind already. Do you want me to stay, or go?"

Clenching her teeth in anger, Mai grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him closer to yell in his face, "I want you to make up your damn mind and stop fucking around with me! We've had to fight out on the field because we were pitted to be enemies, and then you show up like this as if we're twelve again and still friends! Like nothing ever happened! Tell me what you want from me! I can't take this anymore! What are you looking for? What are you searching for? You've killed Orochimaru, and your brother! We've defeated Akatsuki and saved the Shinobi World! What else could you want? And stop bullshitting and not giving me a straight answer! Out with it already! Stop pulling me in if you're only going to push me away! I hate you–!"

Sasuke's lips swiftly touched hers, silencing the words that had yet to be spoken. Startled, Mai couldn't move from the shock, the ex-rogue pulling away seconds later.

"You used to hardly ever talk and now I have to find ways to shut you up."

Brows narrowing, a hand slapped his cheek harshly, leaving a red mark on the skin.

Because he never cared.

He didn't even get a chance to turn back around, another slap jerking it away. The other tried to push him back to no avail due to the emotions that ran crazy through her head.

Because he never cared.

Having enough of the beating, Sasuke grabbed both wrists pinning them to Mai's sides and kissed her again, rougher.

The girl bit his lip harshly drawing blood and making him pull away.

"Get off me!"

He refused to do so.

Because he never cared.

"Or I'll make you–!"

Mai was being kissed again, his tongue invading her now open mouth. Choking slightly in surprise, the teen struggled even more. She squirmed under him, trying to hook a leg around him to pry him off. Though Sasuke saw it coming, slamming a knee between both legs, pinning her there.

"Nice try," he stated, pulling away, the two panting heavily. "But have you forgotten than I'm not a child anymore?"

"You've fool me," she snapped. "You still act like one."

Throwing all her weight to the right, the two went whirling through the air as Mai tried to throw him off. Her back slammed into the ground, managing to get her legs under Sasuke's chest. Hoisting his body into the air, and over herself, the ninja was already planning the next move. That was until the Be Fong found herself back under him once more. He had used the Phantom Ninja's own trick against her.

"That all?" he smirked.

Because he never cared.

Mai growled, head butting the Uchiha. It stunned him long enough for the older teen to kick him in the stomach, forcing him off. Rolling away, her fingers curled around a kunai on the ground. Fixing it, the weapon pressed into Sasuke's neck when he came at her again, his own kunai at her own.

"You've become quite a hassle."

"And you're an annoyance."

Blood dripped from both of their necks as the blades pressed against the skin in warning.

Because he never cared.

"I know about your mission." Her eyes flashed at the memory. "I can only imagine what you had to live through, but whatever it told you was lying."

"You don't know anything."

"No, but that's because you'll probably never tell me. However, let me make one thing clear to you. My reason behind always leaving, searching for something, leaving you behind for months on end – becoming stronger is my goal, always will be. But there is one other thing."

Swiftly while she was taken off guard his hand holding the weapon quickly gripped her wrist and tore away the blade from his own throat and pinned it to the wood.

Because he never–

"I want you." Her eyes widened, jaw going a bit slack by the confession. "I've always wanted you. I'm not saying this to calm you down. I've always known, but it's in our nature not to act on emotions. To deny them. To remain emotionless for the good of our line of work. Well, I'm done playing by the rules if it means that I have to give you up. And I know you feel the same way or you wouldn't be reacting like this."

"You're lying..." Her voice sounded so small it nearly surprised the Uchiha.

"I'm not." His expression never wavered. "And if you really wanted to be rid of me or kill me, you would've used your strings instead of sticking to hand-to-hand combat."

Slowly, her grasp on the weapon went slack and he threw them out of reach. He pulled the both of them to their feet, refusing to let go of the Be Fong or allow her to travel far. They were a right mess, hair in disarray with their clothing damp from tumbling through the rain. There were even a few forming bruises that began to swell. As they stood in the silence with only the patter of rain on the rooftop filling it Mai studied his expression carefully. It was one she was not accustomed to and it made her nervous.

Mai tried pulling away to give them some distance. One of his hands tangled in her hair.

"What are you doing?" the Be Fong questioned.

"Something we both should've done a long time ago," Sasuke said.

He kissed her with raw passion that made the Be Fong gasp. She went to shove him away, not just because the action surprised her, but also because it felt foreign. The rush of emotions that came with the display of affection. This wasn't like the other times they shared a kiss to the forehead, or a simple one on the lips. There was much more behind this that made her heart race. Sasuke didn't allow himself to get too far from her shove, bringing their lips together once more. A fist pounded against his chest. It was halfhearted effort. If the older teen really wished to stop him, she could have done so with the flick of the wrist using the strings.

Then she was gripping at him with so much strength it pulled them flush against each other. The Uchiha pushed her against the wooden wall, a knee positioned between both legs effectively pinning her again. For once in Mai's life, she didn't care that she didn't have the upper hand or wasn't in control as they parted quickly for air only to hungrily go back in for more.

He was right, this was something the both of them should have admitted – expressed – a long time ago. The two of them stared at one another through half-lidded eyes.

"So tell me," he questioned lowly. "Is this what you want?" Because this was all he had been thinking about lately.

But she didn't have to answer with words, breath heavy, as she kissed him again and began tugging at his shirt. There was no going back now, for either of them as Sasuke pulled them from the wall.

They were both damaged people, having fought the same wars, witnessed the same horrors, and shared common enemies at times. They were lost individuals. One that doubted themselves, their strengths, their abilities, their worth when they needn't. But now alone, away from prying eyes and whispers, away from pain and missions, they could be at peace with themselves. There was absolutely nothing to worry about, tugging off each other's shirts.

No wars to fight, as they traced and ran their lips and tongues over lingering scars. No enemies to kill, as he tugged her head back by the hair to gain more access to the neck. There was no one watching their every movement to be sure they were doing their jobs as ninjas or stepped out of line, removing what clothing was left. No more voices telling them what they were and weren't, as they moved together without pause. No nightmares or memories that threatened their sanity, when they hurriedly kissed as their fingers gripped at bare skin. Only themselves being lost in forgotten and repressed emotions that others would frown upon for expressing as they both let go. Mai actually felt as if she was coming apart in a satisfying way that she never thought possible, leaving them both panting heavily, breathless.

Neither of them were done. Far from it as Sasuke lazily caught her lips with his own, sparking a new wave of desire that slowly crept back into them. They weren't about to allow these feelings to pass so quickly when they still had hours before facing the world and return to what they were known as beyond closed doors.