Chapter XVI

Will Solace

I knew Nico wasn't gay. I knew that before I even asked if I could kiss him.So why did I still do it? You tell me.

And why did I kiss him back when he kissed me out of pity?Again, I am completely stumped.

I curled up in my bed, dragging a pillow over my face to block out the sunlight spilling into Cabin 7. Everyone else was already gone, out doing their activities, living their normal, non-stupid lives. Meanwhile I could barely sit up. The only reason I'd even left my bed today was because Ash forced me to shower, claiming I smelled like the Pegasus stables.

I had not felt like this in a long time—helpless, hollow, and... no. I was not going to say the word depression. But it felt close.

"Ohhh Wiiiill," Matt's voice echoed through the cabin as he walked in.

Normally, I would've looked up. He was annoyingly handsome like that.Today, I just sank deeper under the pillow.I felt so guilty, I had.. cheated on him. I felt horrible, this was one of the worst things I've ever done to someone.

"Mhm," I muttered.

"What's going on?" Matt asked, sitting beside me with that gentle tone, and something in me warmed for a second, like muscle memory.

"Just... don't feel great."

"Ew, are you sick?" He instantly leaned away.

"No," I grumbled, "emotionally."

"Oh." His voice went flat, like that answer inconvenienced him. Then he yanked the pillow off my face."Well, can you at least try to be happy? I came here to hang out with you and you're all sad."

Something in me twisted. It wasn't like I could just flip a switch.

"Yeah." I forced the a fake smile and sat up.

Matt smirked, satisfied, and leaned in to kiss me. Normally I'd melt. But today I just... didn't. And he could tell, because he pulled away with a frown.

"Will," he sighed, irritated, "can you stop acting like this? I want to— you know."He gestured toward my lap.

My stomach turned."I'm clearly not in the mood for that right now, Matt."

I had never heard my own voice snap like that with him.

"Oh, grow up, Will!" Matt yelled, snapping as well.

I flinched as his voice echoed off the wooden walls. And then-He threw my stuffed pig flew across the room, it hit the wall and bounced onto the floor.

Tears brimmed under my eyes, I hated being yelled at.

Matt stormed out of the cabin without another word, leaving the door swinging open behind him.

I sat there in silence, stunned, wishing the whole world would just leave me alone.

And maybe wishing Nico had been the one who walked in instead.

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