Chapter 91 - Yes, I Am

Sadé's POV:

— The Next Day, At The Suite

It was the next day and I had woken up at the ass crack of dawn because today was yet another busy day for me. I was stood naked, with the exception of my bra and panties, in the middle of my main suite where most of my work is conducted, trying on loads of different clothes. Me and Jordyn were going through all of my PR outfits that were sent to me over the last few weeks. It truly is crazy how many brands want me to rock their clothing just because of who I am, sending me free items in exchange for a promotional deal in hopes that I'll wear it to an event or in a video. It'll forever blow my mind how far I've come.

Anyway, I was trying on different outfits to find something to wear for my upcoming events: The Streamy's Awards & my collaborative launch with Cacharel Perfumes. We had been at it for the last hour or so, but I'm very picky about how I present myself so I wasn't easily convinced on an outfit just because of the brand name or color. Not only that, but I had to find something that would match Marshall's outfit since he was my plus one, and God knows I HATE when people go out in public together and aren't matching or at least color coordinated. I'd rather give up my left lung than be caught by paparazzi looking like a fool because one of us didn't get the memo! I know it sounds extreme, but the fashionista in me couldn't help it.

Knowing Marshall, he's probably going to wear something black. That's practically all he owns anyway, and despite him saying his favorite color is blue, he probably doesn't even know what that color looks like anymore. He loves him some black. What can I say?

So after fifteen more outfit changes and a broken heel later, I finally decided on what I was going to wear to both events. For the award show, I settled on a black Anwar Couture look, and for the perfume launch, I settled on a Mach & Mach fit that was sent to me. I was hoping to wear something from Mugler, but I guess I'm not famous enough for them because they didn't send me anything. Hopefully, I can partner with them one day. That would be a literal dream come true.

After that was all said and done, I rushed back to the hotel to finish packing up my stuff because I had a flight scheduled for 9:15 this morning to take me to California, and it was already 8am! I need to be at the airport in 45 minutes max, and I have a tight schedule so I can't afford to be late unless I want to miss out on paid opportunities and risk my professionalism. So I zoomed from the suite back to the telly, getting ready to go.

—

The time was 9:14am, and I had just a minute left to spare as I boarded the jet. While they couldn't take off without me, I still wanted to be on time. I sat with my security, Jordyn, my glam squad, and a few other important people from my team who needed to be with me.

Immediately, I went to the back of the jet, heading to the small bedroom in the back of the aircraft. I sat my purse down on the side table, kicked my shoes off, and curled up on the bed. I closed my eyes, letting out a sigh as I prepared for takeoff. I wanted to get a little bit more rest during the four-and-a-half to five-hour flight to California; Because I knew once I landed, it was go time for the next four days and I would have no time to even hear my own thoughts.

Being thrown back into the life of traveling every other week, social media, and simply being an influencer in general was a lot right now. It's not that I wasn't ready for it or to go back out there and be in the spotlight because I was, but it's just that I needed some readjusting. I needed to let my body get used to the workload again and for my mind to go back into that hustle mentality. From going to not posting, not filming videos, not doing photoshoots, and not traveling for business unless it was absolutely necessary, like for my brand, to now doing it all again was a weird feeling. I had taken over a month off, which doesn't sound like a long time, but it is to me because I'm a woman who throws herself into work. Recently I've just been taking it slow since I was on a break from it so my mind and body were naturally in a relaxed mode.

Not only that but I had shamefully gotten used to being more private than I already was and comfortable with Marshall... I hate to admit it because I'm so independent and keep to myself, but something about having a man take care of me was nice. And by a man, I mean an actual man - A REAL man - Not someone who claims they're a man. Marshall makes me feel so comfortable & relaxed on top of simply being there and treating me like a princess. It's a nice feeling to have a genuinely healthy, loving relationship with someone who cares deeply about you. So yea, I got a little comfortable in my situation and needed to remember my obligations of being an influencer at the end of the day. But I wouldn't trade neither one of them, my career or relationship, for the world. I've just gotta learn how to juggle both comfortably now.

— At Skims HQ, In Calabasas

I stepped foot out of the black truck, in Sunny Calabasas, California. It was five in the afternoon when I arrived to meet Kim for a Skims Photoshoot for her Christmas collection that she dropped a few days ago. I walked inside with Jordyn, the rest of my team having gone back to the hotel for the night to do whatever it is they do when they aren't working. Upon doing so, I immediately see Kim talking to the photographer.

"Hi, Kimmy!" I greeted her cheerfully.

"Oh my god! Hi, Sae-Bear!" She pulled me in for a hug, air kissing my cheek as a formality.

Me and Kim aren't acquaintances by any means. I've known her for a few years now through my connection with Alabama. I've worked with her for Skims, KKW Beauty, and a few of the family's other projects. I was even on one of the episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians once upon a time. This is nothing new for me. The Kardashian-Jenner family and I have a strong business and personal relationship.

"I'm so glad you could make it. You're definitely going to make this collection wow everyone." She gushed as we walked back to hair and makeup.

"Well, I sure do hope so. That's the goal." I giggled.

"So how is co-parenting going with you and Kanye?" I politely ask, knowing she's been dealing with a lot when it came to her very public and messy divorce.

I love the both of them. It truly is saddening to see them go through a divorce, but it's life. Things happen, and some are out of our control, like who we fall in love with, and unfortunately, fall out of love with. Kanye was taking it a lot worse than Kim, the one who served him the papers. Their relationship isn't my business by any means, however, I did want to make sure they were both doing okay. Especially for their children's sake.

"It's actually going well. It was hard at first, but the kids still see us as a unit despite us being apart. I'm just glad they don't see the ugly side of things or understand it completely yet, to be honest." She answered truthfully, "But he keeps harassing Pete on Instagram." She rolled her eyes.

I stifled a laugh because it wasn't funny. Not at all. This was a very serious situation and it's messed up that Kanye can marry a woman in Australia, but Kim can't date Pete Davidson... But Kanye and Pete going back and forth via messages and Kanye posting it was a little funny because they cannot have been for real. It was Pete sending a selfie in Kim's bed that did it for me. Pete ate Kayne up with that one! She doesn't need to know that though.

"Hey, it's not funny. That's sooo embarrassing. Like, who does that?" She tried to be serious, but I could sense the smirk in her voice.

"Pete. Pete does that. You got a bad boy." I joked, quickly putting my hands up in defense.

"Oh, like yours is any better." She sassily rolled her eyes, "Aren't you dating Eminem?" She asked.

"Oop."

I immediately felt myself start to blush through my brown skin at the mention of my relationship with him. I can't help it, I still get butterflies every time. I had to physically stop myself from cheesing so hard. I didn't even get a chance to say anything before she started teasing me.

"You are! I knew it. And you want to talk about Pete being a bad boy, but you're literally dating Slim Shady." She poked my arm playfully.

"Don't be messy, Kim." I bashfully smiled, "Hey, this isn't about me right now. It's about you and Pete." I changed the subject back to her.

"Alright, I'll stop teasing. Let's get you in hair and makeup." Kim winked, and the both of us entered the designated room.

I sat down in a chair, people rushing over to beautify me. I had my eyes closed while someone worked on my face and another did my hair. I didn't even realize Kim was still in the room because it was so quiet minus the faint music in the background until she said something.

"I do like talking about him though." She randomly said a few minutes later, "He's so sweet. And tall. And cares about my kids. He's just a breath of fresh air, you know what I mean." She rambled happily.

"I understand you. I feel the same way. But are the rumors true?" I blurt out before I can even stop myself.

Sometimes my intrusive thoughts really do get the best of me.

"What?" She quickly asked me to repeat myself.

"The rumors. You know the rumors. Are they true?" I curiously ask her.

This had turned into girl talk, no longer being simple small talk. All my ladies know that girl talk can get a little rowdy. We talk about our relationship issues, our men, and occasionally talk shit about people or things; And nothing is off limits. Since we were on the topic of our men, the infamous Pete Davidson rumor popped into my head. It's not like I was dying to know. I was simply curious.

"Oh my- Sadé!" She started cracking up, dying of laughter, "Yea, the rumors are true." She said in between chuckles.

I gasped aloud, shock evident in my voice. I wasn't actually expecting her to say yes.

"So glad to know you're getting some good loving at the end of the night, girl." I teased.

"Since you asked me, I have to ask you: Are the rumors true?"

"Definitely." I simply answered but chose to not expound on my sex life.

We all know they're true. A little too true. Marshall was packing. And if I'm being honest, it was almost the length of my forearm. And it's a nice girth too. So yes, the rumors definitely stood true.

We continued our girl talk while I got ready, talking about taboo topics, catching up, and other things going on since the last time we saw each other.

—

After a couple of hours in the chair, I was finally able to change into my outfit and do what I do best: Pose in front of the camera. This shoot was a little different though because instead of the cameraman having me stand up like I normally would, I was instructed to lay down and pose that way while he took the pictures of me from up top. The goal was to make it appear that I was a doll and you were almost choosing which outfit I wore to play dress up. I was surrounded by clothing pieces in the collection and a few Christmas-themed decorations. I really liked the setup because I hadn't done anything like it before, and I thought it was going to turn out really cool.

I continued to flirt with the camera and did a few outfit changes here and there. Once that was done I looked over all the pictures with the crew, voicing my opinion on which ones I thought were best. The whole shoot ended up running late because of my long flight here. Since I couldn't start until after I arrived at 5, we had to push back the time to make sure everything was perfect. I didn't end up finishing work until almost ten that night, but that's just the busy schedule of my life. I went straight to my hotel, feeling extremely exhausted from the jet lag, early morning outfit fittings, and work.

— Friday, December 9th

Today was the day of my perfume launch with Cacharel Perfumes. It was my very own scent that I had curated and I was excited to release it to the world. We had been working on it since April, and the time was finally here for people to be able to get their hands on it.

I was sat in a makeup chair in my hotel room, getting ready for the event. Someone was working on my hair while I was conversing with a few other people who work for me. Tyler was also there, filming the process.

Tyler is also someone who's a part of my team. He's part of the film crew that I have hired back at home for when I record videos outside of vlogs or the ones I film myself. He works in my suite but also travels with me if I know I'm going to be filming during that time. So anything that I film in my work suite, know that he's the one behind the camera. He's truly amazing at what he does. His work is amazing.

(Tyler)

Anyway, he was filming the entire weekend for me so that it would be a vlog on my channel. It was going to be a mini-series of my comeback to social media that I would upload in the coming weeks. I don't think it'll be the first video I post, but it'll still be uploaded nonetheless.

"Hi babies, I'm back with another vloggy vlog!" I say excitedly into the camera as Tyler holds it steady in front of me.

"What's that famous TikTok audio? I took over a month off to cut you bitches some slack. Tell a friend to tell a friend she's backkk." I giggled at my antics, switching out the word year for month since that's how long I was gone.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

I was really happy to be filming again and to be back in my element. It felt natural, and it felt good for my soul.

"Tell them what you're doing." Tyler suggested.

"So today, the Yes, I Am perfume is dropping, and I'm getting ready to go to the launch. It's going to be really fun, and I'm super excited. I'll be wearing Mach & Mach. Shout out to them. You already know the link to everything I wear will be in the description box down below. And that's it for now, see you guys at the event." I winked at the camera as he moved away to shoot some B-Roll.

"Perfect."

Sometime later, I was finally ready to go. I wore a dress that was covered in Swarovski crystals, diamond-encrusted dangling earrings, and some silver ankle-strap heels. My hair was done up in a half up/half down do. I had silver eyeshadow covering my lids, and my signature brown lips done up on my face. I also had my signature bracelets on and held a black purse that had some silver accents. I looked stunning and felt even better. This was by far one of my top ten looks that I'd worn in 2022.

I took a final look in the mirror before leaving the room to the car that was waiting outside to take me to the venue.

—

I walked inside and was immediately placed on a carpet where there were photographers snapping pictures. I posed for the camera, making sure to serve a look for everyone.

Afterwards, I went around the room thanking everyone for coming. This was an exclusive event so it was invite only. However, the brand did a sweepstakes that allowed a few supporters of mine to join if they entered the competition and won. So there was a mix of important people, CEOs, influencers, friends, celebrities, and supporters there. Some names include Brooklyn Hall, Brooklyn Nicole, Brittany Sky, Natalie Paris, Jasmin Corley, Storm Reid, Josie Totah, and Kylie Jenner. 

I made it a point to speak to every single person, making sure I had a one-on-one interaction with them to show my appreciation and that I cared about them. I continued talking and taking pictures, some of it being recorded for my video and some photographed for my Instagram. We laughed, had a good time, and were just celebrating my success. A lot of people congratulated me, telling me how they were excited for me to get back into the spotlight, but most importantly were glad that I was in such high spirits.

Well, that's what they see. They didn't know about the period of depression that I had gone through during my break or how I was in a rut. Honestly, they didn't need to either. I'm just glad that I'm in such high spirits again too and am back to myself.

I also had a few glasses of champagne here and there, but nothing crazy. It didn't affect me at all. It was more so just for the vibes. It was eventually time for me to give my speech for the launch as the product was set to go live. I walked up to the front of the room, a microphone in my hand.

"Hi, all! I hope everyone is enjoying the evening so far. I just want to start out by thanking everyone who came out. I appreciate you. And secondly, I want to thank Cacharel for allowing me to create my very own scent with them. I think that that's so incredibly kind of them. The perfume is named Yes, I Am, a meaningful name. Y'all know everything I do has a purpose. I don't just do things to do it. I named it this because I wanted to emphasize women's empowerment and what we can do; Most importantly, what we are. We are strong. We are beautiful. We are powerful. We are limitless. We are bold. We are more than what any man tells us we are. We are fierce. We are great. We are smart. We hold no boundaries. We are just fucking incredible. So that means Yes, I Am all of those things too. Just as much as you are." I explain.

"That's also why it's shaped like lipstick, to represent that femininity. The scent is floral with a hint of sweetness. I truly do hope you all enjoy it as much as I do. So with that being said, the product is now live for purchase. And for everyone who showed up today: You get a perfume, you get a perfume, and you get a perfume!" I point with a huge grin on my face, making the room light up in laughter at the iconic Oprah reference.

I walked back into the crowd, enjoying the rest of the night. It well smooth, and everyone enjoyed themselves as much as I did.

— Beverly Hills Hotel

I make my way through the hallway of the top floors, ready to get into bed. Despite having a successful product launch, I was genuinely excited to go back to the hotel. I was so exhausted. I take my keycard out of my purse, tapping it to unlock the door. Without paying any mind, I take my heels off, subtracting five inches from my height. I set my purse down, walked to the bedroom, and turned on the lights in there.

I looked up for the first time that night. That's when I saw him.

"What th- What are you doing here?!" I exclaim, clutching my chest involuntarily.

"Wassup, baby."

Marshall's POV:

— Meanwhile In Detroit

I was once again in the studio, working. It seems like I've been spending all my time here lately, barely even being home. I haven't even seen my kids this month yet. Sometimes this career path does take more than it gives, but it is what it is. I had only gotten here a few hours ago, but I was already ready to leave. I loved my career. I love rapping, producing, and putting out music. But honestly, I sometimes just wanted to chill with my family and my lady. Especially during the holiday season with the cold weather. That's all I wanted right now. Call me clingy, soft, or whatever, but deep down I'm just a family man. I love my kids. And they have a special place in my heart, and now a special woman in my life does too.

A part of me is weirded out by it all: That I'm in love again, happy, and am in an actual healthy relationship. I never thought that would happen ever in my life. I wasn't looking for it nor did I want it. I had sworn it off for eternity. I didn't think it was possible.

Yet here I am. Walking my happy ass to Paul's office to see if he could catch me on a flight to Beverly Hills just so that I could see my lady a little bit earlier than I was scheduled to. I made it to his office, sitting right in front of him with a smile on my face. Paul just looked from his computer and then to me before taking his reading glasses off with a sigh.

"What are you going to ask for now? I just got to work an hour ago." He said in an uninterested tone.

"Oh, you know me so well." I said sarcastically, "I can't talk to my manager? My long-time friend?"

"You can... But you've got that knowing look on your face. What do you want from me today?" He squinted his eyes, prying further.

"A flight to the West Coast sounds real good right about now." I calmly stated.

He almost physically facepalmed himself, causing me to chuckle. I know that he already knows why.

"Marshall, you have a flight scheduled for tomorrow morning. You can't wait 24 hours?" He insisted.

"Nah, not really." I shrugged.

"And why should I set this flight again?"

"Because I asked you to."

"Why?"

"So I can see my lady."

"Why?" He asked again.

"Because I miss her." I said dumbfounded.

"No." He simply said resuming his work on his computer.

What? Did he just tell me no? I scoffed out loud at that. My face instantly twisted up in contort.

"What the fuck. Come on, dawg." I tried again.

"No. There's no reason for you to leave an entire day earlier than you have to." He replied not budging.

I stayed silent. I was thinking of any good reason to leave now. I was pulling shit out of my ass, even if it only made the slightest bit of sense. Then I thought of something that made a lot of sense.

"If we leave today it'll be less of a hassle. Everyone is going to be flying in for the Streamy Awards tomorrow. You know that if I fly in tomorrow then I'll probably get harassed by the paps. Plus, that means it'll be more hectic at the airport. You know we still have to go through the checks even though we're on a private jet. I might as well just get the traveling portion out of the way. You know what I'm sayin'." I tried to convince him once more.

It seemed like he was actually listening this time because he had stopped typing on his computer to pay attention to what I was saying. He was quiet for a minute, thinking what I said over. I made valid claims. It was a fair argument.

"You know, that is true. And if we leave today, we won't have to rush to get you from Detroit to LA to the airport to the hotel to get ready then to the red carpet..."  He thought out loud, "This does work better logistically."

"Mhmm. Sure does."

"I'm just making this clear now, the only reason I'm moving the flight to today is because of the logistics. NOT because you want to see your girlfriend, Marshall."

"Shit, that's fine with me." I shrugged my shoulders, not actually caring about what the reason behind it was.

He then rescheduled the flight for 11:30 today, which was precisely in two hours. Luckily for him, I already had my bags packed and put them in my car this morning because I knew I was going to ask him to put me on an earlier flight. So I didn't even have to go home. All I had to do was work until it was time for me to leave to go to the airport.

I went back to the recording room, feeling accomplished with myself. Just another successful day of me harassing Paul and getting on his nerves until he did whatever it was that I wanted him to.

— Beverly Hills, 7:44 PM

The five-hour flight from Detroit to Beverly Hills had landed and I was now placed in a black truck along with Paul and security. We were all on our way back to The Beverly, the hotel we'd all be staying in for our stay, but I wanted to make a few stops before we got there. The first of the two stops was a jewelry store. I had wanted to get a few pieces for the girls that they hinted at that they'd like for Christmas. So I picked up a few bracelets for all three of them along with some charms to go with it. Then I spotted a pair of diamond earrings that I thought Sae would like so I copped those too. I didn't want to wait until Christmas to give it to her so I decided that I'll just chalk it up to giving them to her as a congratulatory gift on her wins after the award show tomorrow. When in reality, I got them for her just because. No specific reason, I just knew she'd like them and that it would make her happy.

Then the second stop was Taco Bell, of course. I was starving after practically not eating anything all day. I had done nothing except travel and work. I was tired out of my mind. The only thing I could think of right now was food. I was running off of nothing but Red Bull and hope at this point.

Eventually, we arrived at the hotel late at night. I had gotten a keycard to my shared room with Sae from the front desk. When I entered, she still wasn't back yet despite it being late at night. I hadn't even told her I was coming or that I had gotten on an earlier flight. My plan was to just show up and wait for her, I guess. It wasn't necessarily a surprise because I was going to come regardless, but it wasn't expected.

Because of how late it was already, I knew that I wouldn't be able to make it to her collaborative perfume launch. That was more than okay with me though because it made no sense for me to be at some girly ass beauty event as a crazy ass rapper. That and I wouldn't have wanted to go anyway. There are just some things I won't be seen at, and that's one of them. So I sprawled out on the bed after a hot shower, watching the new season of Power. Like I said, I was so tired and could fall asleep any second, but I came all this way for Sae so I tried to stay awake as long as possible until she arrived.

— Sometime Later

I must've accidentally fallen asleep because I woke up to the sound of heels being kicked off and light shuffles. The volume on the TV was rather low so she didn't notice that she wasn't alone. I sat up in the bed, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, adjusting to the dark surroundings that were dimly illuminated by the flat screen, hanging up on the wall. Then she walked in, turning on the lights. Her mind was somewhere else until her chocolate brown eyes landed on mine.

"What th- What are you doing here?!" She exclaimed, clutching slight fear coursing her body for a split second until she realized it was me.

"Wassup, baby." I grin at her.

I open my arms for her to hug me and she practically jumps in my embrace, tackling me down to the bed. My back hit the mattress as my arms secured around her waist to keep her from tipping over herself.

"Dang, girl. You act like you didn't just see me a few days ago." I tease her from how happy she is to see me.

"So? I didn't expect you to be here tonight." She sassily replied, kissing my cheek, making me blush.

"Surprise. I missed you too." I say, sitting us both up on the bed properly.

"What time did you get in?" She curiously made conversation.

"A few hours ago." I answered, "How was the event? You look gorgeous, by the way." I complimented her, running my hands through her now-straightened hair.

"Thank you. It went well. I even met some of my supporters who were invited to the event too. I missed doing things like this. It feels good to be back..." She continued to tell me all about her day.

I listened to her talk, enjoying the octave of her voice that was sweet-sounding like candy and soft-sounding like silk. I was happy for her. Happy that she's back to the woman she used to be before all the bullshit happened, but not naïve  to how cruel the world can be sometimes. It's something admirable about how she was able to do it and not lose herself.

We continued to have our usual pillow talk after she had gotten dressed and undone for bed. She was under the covers, her head on my chest as we spoke to each other back and forth quietly. I pulled her in for a quick peck on the lips. I then kissed her deeply, taking her by surprise. There was nothing she had said or done that made me inclined to kiss her like that. I just wanted to be as close to her as possible and felt the only way to do that was by kissing her at that moment. It was a nice intimate moment shared between the two of us.

"Sorry, go on with what you were saying." I apologized but saw her lips curl into a faint smile.

"No, don't apologize. That was sweet. It's alright, love. Anyways, I was saying how..."

A/N: You guys, this chapter feels terrible in my opinion. Like I feel like it's so bad because I haven't written and uploaded in a while. So now I feel like my writing skills are off and I have to get them back to how they used to be, but this is the best I can do for now no matter how hard I try. I also just want to say thank you to those who stuck around. As well as sorry for taking so long to update. I've been going through a lot in my personal life, and I also needed a break from the app because I had conflicting feelings about the app and things surrounding my book that I'm just too fond of. But I'm back now and the book is almost over you guys. There are a lot more chapters, but plot-wise, we're coming to an end. Anyway, thank you all for still supporting me and this book. I love y'all, and I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter at least a little bit. - 🤎