Chapter 16 - Contemplations

A/N: when I include songs, please realize that it's in no specific order with the actual albums that he put out in real ice or anything. Just so that it'll follow the storyline 😉.

Marshall's POV:

— September 12th, 2022

Today was Monday, which meant I was back at work in the studio. I hadn't spoken to Sadé all weekend since our last phone call on Friday. I tried texting her and even attempted to call her, but all my attempts were either declined or left on read. It kind of pissed me off how she was just ignoring me like that. It wasn't even a big deal. She made me choose so I chose.

I was currently in the booth, recording some bars for a song I was working on titled 'Fall'. This was my 3rd or 4th time recording this song but nothing was working. The flow didn't sound good, the beat didn't merge with the lyrics, it was just a damn mess. I swear to fuck if I don't get this song finished today...I was getting ready to tear this damn booth apart!

"Yo slim, let's take a pause." Naunie spoke through the speakers.

I huffed my breath, snatching the headphones off my head before I left the booth. I walked into the room and sat down in one of the chairs at the soundboard.

"What's going on man? You been slipping all day." Royce commented.

"Nothing! It's just that ain't shit sounding right, dawg." I snapped at him.

"Nah, it's something else. This ain't like you. Because if it was that, you would've fixed it by now." Royce said slightly concerned.

Boogie just sat there not saying a word to either of us.

"Maybe we should all just take a breather." Boogie finally spoke, trying to ease the tension.

"It ain't necessary. I need to finish this song today." I responded. I let out a big sigh, "I'm just stressed out right now." I say running my hands over my face as I lean into my knees.

"Whats going on? Paul on your ass about something again?" Naunie asked.

I scratched my beard, contemplating if I should tell them what's been going on or not.

"No. It's some shit with Sadé. She invited me to her party and it was this whole thing with her." I confessed.

"Oh shit! Are you gonna go? You gotta get us in, man. Everybody is talking about it on Twitter and Instagram." Royce exclaimed.

"Yea, I'm tryna get at one of Sadé's friends or something." Boogie said. Everyone got quiet and just looked at him for a moment.

"Bro, what?" Naunie gave him a questioning look.

"What? I'm tryna find me a girl. If Sadé bad then that means her friends are bad too..." Once again, crickets, "Forget y'all! Anyways it's gonna be the hottest party of the summer and I still wanna go."

"That is true. I did hear it's going to be lit as hell." Naunie replied, nodding his head.

"Well tough luck. Y'all gonna have to find another way in there because I ain't goin'." I shrugged.

"WHAT?" All three of them called out in unison.

"Don't be a party pooper. Go to your girls birthday party." Royce encouraged.

"It's not happening." I shut down, "She gave me an ultimatum."

"Which was?" Royce asked.

"That either I tell Hailie about us or don't go if I don't want to say anything. So I told her I'm not going." I shrugged.

"Oh so Hailie doesn't even know anything about the two of you?" Boogie wondered.

"Nope. I made Sadé keep quiet about the whole thing."

There was another brief moment of silence that filled the room. Then Naunie spoke up.

"That's actually messed up."

"I know. That's what I was thinking. Why the hell would she say some shit like that?" I say starting to get angry all over again about the entire situation.

"I didn't say that. I said that's messed up. I wasn't talking about her, Marshall. I was talking about you." Naunie clarified.

"What?" I looked at him like he was crazy or something.

"Yea, man. I agree with her. Either 'fess up or don't go. I mean how is it going to look to Hailie when she sees you both together? She was thrown under the bus by all this. She's going to be really mad at you for not being truthful with her. Sadé is her friend, but you're her father though. It's different." Naunie shrugged as if it was so simple.

I ain't gonna lie, he was talking some sense into me. As much as I hated it, he might be right. I was just so pissed off at Sadé for giving me an ultimatum like that. I never really thought about how Hailie might feel about me keeping this from her. I know she'd probably flip out, but I'm only making the situation worse the longer I hide it from her. But I ain't the only one keeping this a secret. Sadé isn't no angel in all of this. She didn't tell her either.

"Okay fine. Maybe you all are right, but she hung up the phone on me while I was still talkin' to her and hasn't spoken to me since. I tried contacting her and everything! So i can still be pissed at her for that." I tried to reason with them all.

"No you can't. Good for her for hanging up on your bitch ass." Royce joked.  All the guys were laughing now.

I swear these men are my biggest haters. They always got something to make fun of me for. I just leaned back in my seat, glaring at all of them.

"Plus it's her 21st birthday, Em. That's a big deal for some people. She invited you for a reason. So she obviously wanted you there. Then you just told her no like that. If I were her, I'd be mad at you too." Boogie sided.

"Man, I ain't tryna hear this bullshit from any of you right now. Let's just finish up this damn song." I grumbled, heading back into the booth.

I got work to do. I can't be dealing with woman problems right now. I'll figure this all out later.

— At Home, 1:30 AM

I woke up in the middle of the night at around 1:30 in the morning. I had been tossing and turning all night. I couldn't sleep comfortably at all. I just had way too much on my mind. How is it that this girl could affect me so much already? It's ridiculous to be quite frank.

All I could think about was Sadé. I knew she was mad at me. I actually started to feel bad for yelling at her like I did. I knew I overreacted once all the guys started siding with her, and telling me how much of a dick I was being. I just wish she'd tell me that. I wanted her to call or text me back, anything.

I was also stuck on Hailie though. I knew she'd be heated with me. I was still deciding on if I should come clean to her or not. I knew I would do it eventually, but not under these conditions. Not yet. I couldn't. If I told her then I knew I'd have to butter her up. To ease the blow, you know.

I just didn't want my own daughter to hate me for dating her friend. Hailie is my baby girl. I'd do anything for her so if she ended up not wanting me to continue anything with Sae, I'd end it right there, in an instant. I just hoped she'd be accepting. I guess that's why I don't want to tell her. Because what if that is the case?

I groaned, squishing my face in between my pillows. I can't take this anymore. I decided to try call Sadé. Even though it was 1:30am here in Detroit, it was 12:30am over in Chicago. There's a chance she'd still be up.

I hit the call button waiting for her to answer. After one ring it went to voicemail. She hit decline. That means she's awake though. I called her again, waiting as the phone rang. After 3 rings she answered. Finally! I missed hearing her voice.

"What do you want? I'm trying to sleep?" She asked annoyed.

"No you weren't. You hit decline a little too fast." I acknowledged.

"Whatever. Why are you calling me?"

"Because you've been ignoring me. Why?"

"I know I have." She responded not answering my question.

"Why?" I repeated myself, slightly irritated.

"Because. You said you weren't going and wasn't going to tell the truth to Hai. What else do you want me to say?" She sighed.

"Say how you feel. Don't just ignore me."

She was silent. I had to look back at my phone because I thought she had hung up on me again.

"Alright... I feel angry and hurt. Because you yelled at me. I hate when people yell at me. And because you said you weren't going. I really wanted you to come. You only turn 21 once. And... I never really had a good birthday before surrounded by people I care about. But if you don't want to come then I guess I get it. As far as telling Hailie goes, that's your daughter. Tell her or don't. Do as you please. But as my friend, I don't like lying to her. That's how I feel, Marshall." She said softly.

Now I really do feel even worse about how I acted about the situation. I admit I was wrong. I shouldn't have yelled at her. I shouldn't have been so quick to get angry and tell her that I wasn't going. I just wanted to be petty and make her upset, but I didn't mean that shit. I genuinely didn't think she'd take it to heart or actually be this upset over it. Of course I want to be there for her. I just am afraid of telling Hailie the truth and hurting her feelings or her feeling like I betrayed her in some way.

"I'm sorry, Sae. I didn't mean any of that shit forreal. I'm sorry for making you feel bad and hurting your feelings. Look, I'll tell Hailie. Alright?" I apologized as I nervously scratched the back of my head.

"Alright. Just don't do it again." She said getting all serious on me, "I can have a bad attitude and temper, and I won't hesitate to be use it if I need to."

Damn. Her asserting her dominance like that is kinda making me hot right now. I won't even front, I kinda got a semi hard on. She's never done that before. Except for that one time she yelled at me in the car about Skylar, but she was still nice about it. I bit my lip, taking a deep breath before responding.

"Got it, baby."

"Good." She said, and I could hear how satisfied she was with her self.

"Ight Ima let you go now. Go get some sleep."

"Okay. Goodnight, Marshall."

"Goodnight, Sae." I smiled into the phone, hanging up.

Great, now I'm turned on. I quickly satisfy myself before trying to go back to bed. I drift back to sleep, feeling a weight lifted off my shoulders.

A/N: This is my mood for the next few chapters. Lol 😂 -🤎