Chapter 36:

*CAITLIN'S POV:

I've felt pain before.

I've taken those tumbles as a little girl. I've scraped my elbows. I've bruised my knees. I've burned and nicked myself numerous times while helping in the kitchen. I broke my arm in the third grade and again in fourth. I sprained my ankle in sixth grade. I've stubbed about all of my toes. I've hit my head on walls and cabinet doors that were accidentally left open. The torn flesh and pooling blood, the throbbing bumps and aching muscles, the stinging medical cleansers and sticky bandages─all this time, I thought that was pain. I was wrong.

That wasn't pain.

This was pain.

Pain was standing in the middle of your grandmother's bedroom with you ears still ringing. An empty gun next to your foot. Your hands shaking and your lungs struggling. Your heart pounding out of your chest so hard that it feels like your ribs are cracking. Your stomach is inside out. Your lips quiver and moist from the salty tears pouring from my twitching eyes. You want to look but you can't. You want to move but you can't.

He's kicking his feet and rocking side to side, trying to distract himself from the excruciating pain coming from his right shoulder. One hand is covering the bullet wound as the other claws at the wooden floor. His shirt is drenched in blood. His eyes are drooping and his skin is pale. A few whimpers and groans escape his lips, but they're barely audible because your mind is so clogged.

That was pain.

I ran over to Eddie, almost tripping over my own two feet in the process because my legs were so numb. I collapsed next to him, holding his heating cheeks in my hands. "I'm sorry," I managed to blabber out. "I'm so sorry."

I helped him sit up against the dresser and snatched a light blanket from the bin next to it. I straddled his lap and fumbled with the sheet before pressing firmly against the wound.

"It wasn't your fault." he said, shaking his head.

"Yes, yes, yes, it w-was." I sobbed, refusing to look at him. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I, I shot you. I fucking shot you."

"No, no you didn't. Caitlin, look at me." he said sternly, grabbing my jaw and forcing me to look at him. "That was not you. You may have thought it was your instinct but it wasn't. It was Noken's power. He got in my mind and told me what he was going to do. He controlled you to point the gun at me and pull the trigger. It was him. It was all him. I promise you."

"I'm so sorry,"

"Stop apologizing. It wasn't your fault. Please, baby, calm down. I'm going to be fine. We're going to be okay." he soothed, wiping away at the tears streaming down my face.

I nodded and smashed my lips against his. His hands clutched at my sides and my hands held his jaw. His breaths were shallow and so were mine.

"I love you." I said, pulling back.

"I love y─ah," he hissed, wincing and holding the sheet. "I'm-I'm sorry but this hurts like a bitch."

"What can I do─"

A cough escaped his lips violently, causing more pain for his wound. He clasped a hand around my thigh. "I don't feel very well."

"No, no, you stay with me." I commanded, seeing that his eyes were sagging. "Eddie, hey? C'mon,"

"I'm tired,"

"Eddie, please, you cannot go to sleep. You have to stay awake with m-me. Tell me what you want in life. What do you want for the both of us?"

"Cait,"

"Eddie, listen to me. How many children do you want? Answer me."

"Three?"

"What do you want them to be? What about their names? Boy, boy, girl? What about their names? Give me names. Make up names."

"I- I can't think."

"Yes, yes you can, Eddie. Please." I begged as his hold on my thigh loosened. "You have to tell me the names of our kids."

"Wait," he said, reaching into his pocket. A silver chain wrapped around his fingers, a ring hanging from it. My promise ring. "I picked it up at the house after he took it off of you. I tried showing it earlier. Take it."

I started sobbing, softly taking the jewelry from his palm. His hand fell as soon as I took it and his head started bobbing. I screamed again, holding his head in place. "No, no you stay with me! You stay with me right now. You are not leaving me! You promised you would always be with me! You cannot leave me!"

"I'm not going anywhere, Caitlin. I promised I would always love you and I always will." he smiled, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

From behind us, the door busted open and MeMe and Luna came sprinting in. MeMe yelled, crouching down next to the both of us. Luna stood frozen in the middle of the room.

"He tricked m-me. He controlled m-my thoughts a-and a-actions. MeMe, please help h-him, p-pl-please!" I cried, gripping his hands.

"Luna, get her out of here." MeMe demanded, grabbing Eddie's face.

"What?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. "No, no! I'm not leaving him!"

"You've done enough. Luna, I said get her out of here. Take her home. Noken used too much power today and won't be back anytime soon." she growled, staring at the standing girl.

"Cait, c'mon. . ." Luna said gently, wrapping her hand around my upper arm. I pulled away and cried harder as I saw Eddie had no reaction to anything. "Cait, he's going to be okay."

"I said get out!" MeMe screamed, pointing to the door.

Luna lunged at me, forcefully grabbing any limb she could and dragging me out of the bedroom. I tried to fight back, but I was such an emotional wreck that I could barely stand. She somehow managed to get me to the living room where I finally melted to the floor into a heaping mess of emotions. Luna held me as I wailed into her shoulder.

"Shhh, it's gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay. He'll survive this, he's a tough guy." she cooed.

"I love him."

"I know you do. I love him, too. I love the both of you."

"I-I-I-I-I can't lose him."

"You won't." she said, playing with part of the chain that dangled from between my fingers. "Eddie keeps his promises."

I started thinking about what he said when he gave me back the ring and the expression on his face. It looked like he was saying goodbye. His face had no hope─only pain, sorrow, and sympathy.

What if he doesn't make it?

I'm responsible. I was the body behind that gun. I killed him, I killed the love of my life.

My thoughts were slicing at my brain, causing me to breathe faster and faster. My head lightened and my vision blurred. The last thing I remember was clutching the promise ring as hard as I could.

-

*EDDIE'S POV:

Though my eyes were closed from being so heavy, I could still hear everything going on around me. From Caitlin screaming that she wanted to stay to Luna struggling to get her out of the room. My heart hurt almost as much as my shoulder.

Now it was just Annabelle and I. She was observing my wound and lightly tapping my face to keep me alert. "Listen, hun, I'm gonna need you to move to the bed. I'm an old woman and, well, you're a big guy. There's no way I can carry you."

"Okay," I grunted, taking a deep breath and standing. I trudged over to the bed and fell back. Annabelle fumbled through a bunch of her drawers and occasionally ran in and out of the room, only to bring back more supplies. "Shouldn't we be going to the hospital?"

"And what would your story be? Hm? Forget the hospital, I can do it myself." she stated, organizing everything.

"Uh-"

"Eddie, I was a military nurse back in the day. The battlefield was my specialty. I had a soldier lose his entire arm and I fixed him up until he could be sent back to medical. And you know what? He's still alive to this day. I think I can handle a little bullet wound to the shoulder. Now, this is something I never thought I'd have to say to my granddaughter's boyfriend, but I'm going to need you to remove your shirt or I'm going to have to cut it off for better access."

Laughing at the slight joke she made, I attempted to do what she asked with a little help from scissors. She wiped away blood and got a better look, sighing with relief. This is practically a graze, she explained, this is an easy fix. The woman told me to take a deep breath and only exhale when she said to. Closing my eyes would probably be for the best, too.

"Inhale,"

Sucking a gulp of air into my lungs, I waited for whatever was going to come. Cold metal scratched at my wound, causing me to groan and pull back. Opening my eyes, I saw Annabelle with a pair of tweezers and an exhausted expression. "Shit, I'm sorry, I-"

"Let's try again." she stated, "Inahale,"

My hand gripped the edge of the mattress as she dug around for the bullet still lodged in my shoulder. Trying to stay still seemed impossible. I screamed through gritted teeth, feeling as if I would crack a tooth or two.

"Exhale,"

I sighed, my chest falling and rising rapidly. Fuck, this hurt. Annabelle reached behind her and poured some antiseptic onto a clean towel. I winched as she dabbed at the opening.

"The bullet is out." she said, "But it's a big enough opening to need stitches."

"Fine," I breathed, "whatever."

"Eddie," she started, "I have nothing to numb you with."

I laughed again, not knowing how much more I could take of this. Just inhale and talk to me, she suggested, talking might take your mind off of the pain. I asked, "Do you think Caitlin thinks I'm dead?"

"Knowing how much she overthinks, probably," she shrugged. "You were a little unresponsive back there."

"I didn't mean to. I thought I was actually dying for a second."

"You were scared. Besides, have you eaten anything today?" she asked, earning a head shake from me. A drink of water was offered before the stitches started. "When all that adrenaline was rushing through your body, your emotions and senses heightened. Plus, you didn't have any energy since you hadn't eaten anything. It was a given for the exhaustion, you didn't have the support system to react appropriately."

"Still hurts like hell, though."

"Everyone's different. Some people don't feel it, and others get so worked up that the pain seems excruciating and they faint."

"Yep, sounds familiar." I agreed, throwing my head back as she threaded the needle with a thick, black thread. "God, I hope she's okay."

"Well you're lucky─inhale─that girl has bad aim." she chuckled, poking the sharp object through the thin muscle of my skin. "This easily could've been something very nasty."

"Ha, yeah. Ah-fuck." I hissed, then apologized for the language. "Sorry,"

"It's fine, you have a right to." she shrugged, stitching again. "You probably wish you would've passed out, huh?"

"I'm starting to think about it." I joked, "I still feel bad for freaking Cait out, though."

"Again, you were petrified. The first thing on your mind when you're shot with a gun is that you're going to die. And I'm sure Cait wasn't helping the situation. She doesn't know what a serious wound looks like, all she saw was blood seeping from your shoulder. She started to panic, which caused you to shut down."

"We're an absolute mess." I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "She's probably the one passed out on the floor."

"She'll get stronger. She's got a heart of gold, but she's a tough cookie."

"She's just had to do so many things she's not used to. It's not that she can't defend herself, it's that she's never had to. In all honesty, I'm really surprised how well she's been taking everything. Especially things like. . .well. . .my wrongdoings."

"Believe me, incidents such as those weren't you and I pray you know that. I've only really known you for a few weeks now, but I can tell you would do anything to protect my granddaughter."

"I really would. I. . .well, I love her." I said.

"I know you do, and I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I never wanted her to suffer like I did, and now you two might have to endure what my husband and I had to do." she frowned, tying a knot and snipping the thread. Wow, that was better than I thought.

"What do you mean? Can we not use the gun anymore?" I asked.

"I don't have anymore bullets. That was the last one ever made."

"You-you don't have any more? Can't we get more?"

"They were specially made for this situation. I don't know the materials used except silver." she shrugged. "So you're all stitched up, now I have to bandage it. Make sure you clean this frequently to stop infections since we don't have any actual medicine handy."

"Shit," I mumbled, realizing my parents would find out eventually.

"What?" she asked, finishing up the bandages.

"How the hell am I gonna tell my family about this? I can't just walk in the house and tell them I've been shot!" I exclaimed, "They still have no idea what's really going on, and they'd never believe me if I tried to explain."

"I'll talk to them, it's no problem." she said soothingly, patting my leg and standing up. "Now lie down for a few minutes. Once you've built up some strength I'll take you home."

I closed my eyes for a few minutes while she put everything back to where it needed to be. Exhaustion was an understatement. Hell, I could probably fall asleep right here, but there's a slight part of me still worried I won't wake up. Don't feel like taking that chance just yet. Reaching into my back pocket carefully, I pulled out my phone and to text Luna. I'd text Cait, but something tells me she's not conscious at the moment─no offense to her.

─Hey, Audy. I'm absolutely fine.Her gramma said its nothinserious. Apparently I only gotweary cause I didnt est anythingthis morning and the both of uswere freaking out.Is Caitok? I texted you in case shewasn't..........awake

Annabelle came back in the room with a pack of saltine crackers, an apple, and a glass of water. I thanked her graciously, biting into the apple immediately. She then picked up the gun from the floor only to place it back into a dresser drawer. For a moment she didn't utter a word, standing over the open drawer like a statue. I noticed she was holding a picture frame, placing it down and sighing. It was the first time I had ever seen Addison's grandfather. "His name was Benjamin."

"Your husband?" I asked, trying to make it seem like I wasn't so focused on her.

She nodded, "He taught me what love was."

"I'm sorry," I said, not really knowing how to react. I stayed quiet as she continued.

"I never accepted what happened. Of course I knew what happened and why it happened and all that, but I never truly accepted it. Every time I wake up in the morning, there's a split second where everything's normal─everything's okay. Then it hits me, and I have to relive the worst moment of my life for the rest of my life."

"Annabelle, I don't know what it feels like to lose your soulmate. I can't say I know how you're feeling because I don't." I started, "But all I know is that I don't want to know how it feels."

"There were a lot of times where I'd tell myself we were going to make it. Noken wasn't doing anything and I thought it was going to work out." she replied. "Now I'm watching the same thing unfold again."

I didn't know how to respond. I wanted to argue, but a part of me couldn't. Saving Caitlin had the potential of killing me, which is what Annabelle went through. The two of them couldn't be saved together and I don't want the same. "Only you can fix the way you feel. If you want to accept it, then accept it. If you don't, well then don't. No one can tell you how to feel. You just do it."

"Thank you, Eddie." she said, keeping the picture perched on the dresser. She excused herself from the room and left me with my phone, which was buzzing from a text.

Luna G: oh thank god. you'resure you're ok? I was worriedsick. I don't know what would'vehappened if......never mind.cait was a wreck. she passed outwhen we got downstairs and I had to carry her to ur jeep(which we took btw). Im at herhouse now and managed to gether on the couch. I'll let herknow the good news whenshe wakes up. are u at the hospital?

─no I'm still at the house. turnsout her gramma was a military nurse and she knows her shit.I'm bandaged up and everything.no hospital needed.

Luna G: whoa srsly? that'sgood. you probably don't needto get this out there anyway. that'dbe a hard explanation fkr you.

─yeah really. I don't know howI'm telling my family about this.

Luna G: your family know aboutany of this?

─no nothing. her MeMe is gonna take me backand explain everything.I figured they would believe her more than me.

Luna G: I guess that's true(No offense)

─none taken. Im gonna try to restor somethin to "help the healing." text me when caitlin wakes up & tell her to NOT worry about me. let her calm down & I'll call her when I'm bettr. take care of her, please.

Luna G: ok. get better bc ifanything happens to you I willpersonally kick ur ass....................................................A/N: You guys feel better now? I had a lot of reactions during the last chapter. Not sure why. . . =)

Did I scare you in this chapter? It had a few rough patches I must admit. How about you guys? I'm also not an expert when it comes to wounds, so when I searched to (hopefully) get some accurate information, I just pulled everything together to make this. If I'm getting something COMPLETELY and UTTERLY incorrect, please let me know!!

Love you bunches!

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