Chapter 32 (and we all fall down)

Mitchel

Mitchel tipped his head back and felt icy rain fall to his face. Christian had gone inside to retrieve him an umbrella and a jacket after they had a quick little quarrel about whether or not Mitchel should have gone inside.

Christian had lost and Mitchel was left alone outside and sitting on the edge of the hotel's roof, his feet dangling down the sides as he leaned back and breathed in the fresh air. His body was completely numb from the cold and he could feel his eyes starting to droop. Mitchel knew that it was alarming. He should have gone inside a long time ago, let alone put on a proper pair of shoes.

Despite the alarming way his heart began to slow, he felt a wave of calmness wash over him. The past few months had been hectic and chaotic and he didn't have a chance to breathe. Coming to Canada had somewhat opened his eyes and ears and he could hear and see and breathe, and everything was calm.

He was calm.

His heart didn't beat too quickly.

And he could hear his song starting to play.

Red blood.

He hadn't heard his song since the day he killed Molly. He nearly forgot the tune but it was so clear in his head, it was as if he never stopped playing it.

He could hear his voice as he quietly sang along to the tune. The lyrics came back to him like an old memory. He closed his eyes and swayed to it as recollections of the past few months came back to him: His first kiss with Christian since he started dating Molly, her birthday, his first time sleeping with Christian, the day he confessed... the day Molly died.

Images of her bleeding body flashed from behind his eyes. He no longer felt sick from thinking of it- only guilt. He killed her. Her blood was on his hands.

He felt a stinging sensation from his fingertips. It was the first thing he physically felt since Christian had found him outside on the roof. He looked down to his hands to find the source of his pain. Blood the shade of bright red rises dripped from the skin above his nails. He'd been picking at them subconsciously with his short and dirty nails, a habit that he couldn't seem to shake.

Suddenly, the strong scent of rust filled his nose, and blood pooled in his palms. It ran through his fingers and dripped onto his pants, just as it had done in Molly's kitchen.

His head swam. His heart throbbed. The rain continued to pour, the drops feeling heavier on his skin with every passing minute.

Where was Christian? He needed Christian.

He turned to see if he had returned, but was met with the shriveled figure of his best friend's dead girlfriend.

He let out a small whine.

She's not real. She's not really here.

He repeated the words to himself but she looked all too real. She approached him slowly. Her glowing yellow eyes studied him with expressionless curiosity. Her hair clung to her skin as rain dampened her dark locks. Her eyes twitched. Her fingers curled. The skin around her mouth had begun to decay and he could see her dark yellow teeth through her flesh.

She was closer then, and the familiar scent of rotting meat met his nose. He gagged when the smell was too much for him, but she eased closer to him anyway.

Just when he thought he was free from her, she was back, and more real than ever. She was close enough to reach a tender palm to his face. Her skin was cold against his cheek and he felt warmer than he'd ever been. Sweat collected at the back of his neck and under his arms. He felt a chill on his neck.

"Mitchel," She said to him. She extended the syllabus of his name. Again, he whined and tried to shift away from her, but he was frozen in place from both fear and weakness.

"I'm sorry, Molly, I'm trying to make it up to you," He told her. She said nothing. "Please forgive me," he continued.

The scariest part was that she never spoke to him again. She simply stared with blank eyes that drew out the guilt from the deepest depths of his heart. It clouded his head and his song played louder in his head.

It played so loud that his ears and jaw began to hurt and tears welled within his eyes. His vision blurred and he tried to blink away the icy rain from his eyes and lashes, but it weighed him down.

The guilt and the rain and his song weighed his heart and body down, even when he tried to stand with shaky legs. It made him rely on the building's edge for support. He could barely stand as his tears froze to his icy cheeks and burned his skin. His fingers shook with fear as Molly's hands found their way to his chest.

The door that led to the roof swung open. Both Molly and Mitchel's head flicked to see who had come to the roof.

"Christian!" They said in unison. The only difference was that Mitchel's voice was barely audible.

"Jesus, Mitty, you need to come inside!" he said and rushed to him. He slung the jacket he held around his shoulders and forced his arms into the crisp cloth of the sleeves even when he protested. Mitchel didn't know why he hated the idea of going inside. He just wanted to stay. He wanted to feel. He could only feel outside, and for god's sake, he needed to be free of Molly.

Her scent and presence suffocated him and he could only breathe outside. He tried to push Christian away when he wrapped his arms around him, but the younger man was both stronger and warmer.

He clung to him like a leech and slid his hands over his ears in an effort to warm his skin.

"You've probably got frostbite, mate," Christian told him, but his voice seemed so far away. Christian sounded like he was underwater, or was it Mitchel?

His song reached its climax as Christian gently shook him.

"Hey. Mitty. Snap out of it man, do you need me to carry you? Hey. Mitchel! Can you walk?" He shook his head as his eyes flicked from the man in front of him to his dead girlfriend who hovered over the two of them. She clung to Christian's arm and it made him want to throw up. But there was nothing but bile in his stomach anyway.

Somehow, Mitchel managed to break free from Christian. The smell of Molly overstimulated his nose and he clung to the edge of the roof, gasping for air. He could tell that Christian was calling his name, but he couldn't hear- the only thing in his ears was rain and his song that was drawing to its end.

He could hear all of the elements in his song come to a close as he sang the last verse and the music was starting to fade. The rain that connected with the roof slowly began to beat louder than his song. From a distance, he heard thunder boom.

Slowly, Mitchel slid onto the edge of the roof. Instead of letting his feet dangle over the edge, he faced Christian. The poor man looked scared shitless. It stirred a little flutter in his heart to see his concern. He shifted his gaze to Molly who continued to stare at him. He took a long look at her and observed her bright yellow eyes and matted hair. He took in her bluish skin and ratty clothes that were soaked from the rain. His probably were too.

He was dully aware of Christian's warm hand that had found his. He tried to read his lips, but he could only focus on his bright green eyes. They'd lost their light over the years, and for a split second, he could see the young boy that he used to love so much. He still loved him then, but it was no longer pure.

Love was hard for them. There had been so many obstacles for them to get where they were, but he cherished the memories anyway.

He watched Christian's lips as he said the words, "I love you, Mitchel." He tied to repeat the sentiment but his mouth was frozen shut. His body was starting to give. Even if he'd gone inside, there was not much that a doctor could do for him.

He was comfortable anyway. He felt warm with Christian's hand in his. He felt safe in his gaze.

"Let me take you inside," Christian pleaded. He wondered why he didn't just sling him over his shoulder and do so. Maybe he knew that it would be no use. Maybe Molly was whispering in his ear and telling him not to.

His song finally ended as he felt his body go limp. He took one last look at the man he loved so dearly, mouthing the words, "You know how much I love it when it rains."

But he wasn't sure he actually said the words. For all he knew, it was all in his head like everything else. The pain. Molly. His song.

Molly's palms pressed over his heart. She pushed him over the edge and he felt himself fall.

Christian

"Mitchel!" His voice tore through the crisp air and heavy rain. It echoed three times but he didn't even notice.

He was cold. His fingers burned from the icy chill. He watched as his best friend slumped and slid off of the side of the building. His body was too slow to react. It was cold. He slipped on the rain that had begun to pool in one of the roof's dips. His fingers brushed the cloth of the coat that he'd just put on Mitchel as his body tilted away from him. His hands caught the roof exactly where Mitchel sat only moments ago. He clung to the wet cement as Mitchel's figure quickly got smaller as split seconds passed.

His breath was quick in his ears. His throat swelled. His eyes were forced open wide as he let out a cry and shouted his best friend's name again.

But he was gone.

He watched as his body connected with the cement some two hundred feet below. he could barely see his body or hear the sound of his figure making contact over the loud downpour. But it was real. He saw it.

Mitchel was gone.

And it was his fault.

His voice caught in his throat as he let out short loud sobs. Tears poured out of his eyes in thick wet blobs and they clung to his cheeks and froze. His nose ran as he clutched his chest. His head felt both light and heavy on his neck and he couldn't see through his tears. He crumpled to his knees as he repeated Mitchel's name, but it never came out in full as he choked on his words and coughed.

The tears from his eyes fell to the ground beneath him just as drops of rain fell from the clouds around him. How a cliche of the weather.

+++

"Clinton!" He gasped his bandmate's name when he picked up on the third ring. He wasn't sure how the time difference worked from Ontario to LA. For all he knew, his brother could have still been in bed. It sounded like so when he picked up the phone with a deep, "hello? Christian, is that you?"

Christian sank to the ground with shaky hands. He lay on his side in a puddle in the rain because he couldn't bring himself to do anything else. From a distance, he could hear the sound of police cars approaching the hotel as well as an ambulance and a possible firetruck.

"It's Mitchel," he tried to say between sobs.

"What about him?" Clinton's voice was clearer, more alert then.

"It's f-fucking Mitchel," he said again, his voice shaking from the shock and cold. His hair was soaked from being in the puddle beneath him. His skin burned from the icy chill. It took all of his will to think coherent thoughts.

"He fe-fell, Clinton, he f-fucking fell," he mumbled into his phone, feeling it fall into the puddle. He picked it up with shaky fingers as he cried and tried to wipe the water off of it and hold it back to his ear.

"You've g-gotta help us, C-Clinton, he f-fell from the edge n' he's gone, Clinton, help me, he's gone."

"Slow down, Christian, what the fuck happened?"

"He's gone!" Christian shouted into his speaker. "I love him, Clinton, he can't be gone but I saw him fall, he's gone!"

He repeated the words until the only sounds that could leave his mouth were sobs. The rain poured harder and he couldn't even see the door that led to the roof. He couldn't pick himself up or drag himself inside. He was frozen in place as he sobbed, feeling his heart break every time he spoke his best friend's name.

His phone fell from his fingertips but he didn't care. His vision was fading to black. He could feel his heart slow from the cold. He had to get inside. He had to get downstairs. He had to find Mitchel. But he couldn't. His eyes fluttered closed. He tried to open them.

A few feet away, bright red drops clung to the edge of the building. Was it blood?

He remembered seeing Mitchel's red fingers. He'd been picking at them. He let out another cry of agony and slowly clenched his weak hands. His breath came out in weak gasps and he could see it in the cold. His tears dripped down the sides of his face and he could hear a small sweet tune begin to play in his head.

He'd never heard it before but it felt familiar as if he'd heard it in his past life.

He didn't know, but it was Mitchel's song:

Red Blood. 

The End.