Chapter 28 (ferris wheel)

Mitchel

Mitchel slowly faded out of his dream, his body shaking and forcing out cold sweat. His blankets were twisted around his lower half, clinging to his damp skin and overheating his legs. He wanted to kick his comforter off of his bed as he twisted with his pillow in his arms. His forehead dripped with sweat and salty dried tears scratched and pulled at his dry skin.

When he woke up, it was like he was hit by a truck and he bolted up into a sitting position. His body shivered as the cold air hit his skin and his head spun as reality struck him out of his sleepy state. He rubbed his eyes as he saw a figure approach him from his window. He scooted away with his legs flailing as he hissed his best friend's dead girlfriend's name.

Christian furrowed his brows. "Mitty?" He asked. And then Mitchel understood. Christian had come into his room and opened his curtains. He'd opened his windows too to let the cold air filter in. He was there to wake him up.

"Christian," Mitchel mumbled and rubbed eyes, willing his heart to slow. He had no reason to think that Molly was in his room. He was being paranoid. But why? Molly was dead. He was reminded of that every day. He had nothing to worry about.

Maybe.

The cold spring morning air filtered through his body and Mitchel realized that it wasn't morning at all when he glanced at his phone.

"C'mon, bub, get up," Christian said, placing a quick good morning peck on his forehead. Mitchel draped his blankets over his body. When he asked why he had to be out of bed, Christian only replied with a shrug. "It's a surprise," He said and left the room.

Christian was dressed to go out so he showered and did the same, feeling a slight wave of relief pass over him as he listened to the news and cleaned the blood from his nails.

"Hurry up, Mitchel," He heard his brother call from the hallway.

"And good morning to you too," Mitchel hollered back.

"It's 3:00 you arse," Clinton replied.

Mitchel listened to the sound of his brother thumping down the staircase as he finished applying concealer to his forearms and pulling on his shoes.

"So, where to?" Mitchel asked as he slid into the back seat of Clinton's car beside Christian. It was only a few weeks ago that he and Christian were in the back and telling his brother what had happened. What he'd done. For some reason, Clinton got another car of the exact same model after he'd been discharged from the hospital. Though it was new, it still smelled like his old car. It had bags in the back seat and coffee in the front seat just like the old car. It was like that day was going to happen all over again.

Except with Jesse. Jesse was sitting next to Clinton in the passenger seat.

"I told you, it's a surprise," Christian hummed and grabbed his hand. Mitchel wiggled his brows as he said, "It better not be the strip club. I'm not going to a strip club on a Wednesday afternoon,"

The entire car erupted with laughter and it was as if everything was perfect. Mitchel smiled and rested his head against the window as Clinton took them to their secret destination and he could have sworn he saw Molly cross the street a few feet away from them.

+++

"A theme park," Mitchel said when he stepped inside the gates. Christian had made him close his eyes as he lead him like a child through the maze of bodies and security. They had to stop a few times to buy tickets and passes, but Mitchel had a feeling that they were at some type of carnival by the smell of buttery popcorn and the trademark scent of old candy and sweaty bodies that naturally came with theme parks. Still, he was a little surprised.

"Isn't it great?" Christian asked after Clinton pointed out that it was actually a Fair. Mitchel turned around in a circle to take in the sights. Despite it being the middle of the week, the park was full of entertainment-starved people who were looking for expensive thrills. A huge line in front of a bright green rollercoaster with a dragon's face painted onto it was to his left and a long alley of booths next to the entrance. People of all ages surrounded them and he couldn't help but think of how smart it was for them to be there. It was the perfect distraction.

"We wanted to treat you guys," Jesse said. "It's been hard for you two with your girlfriends and y'all just need some bro time."

And he was right, but everyone knew Jesse had no idea what he was talking about. He clearly had no idea about what really happened to Molly. They needed more than bro time, but that was the least of his worries at the moment. "How come Clinton knew?" Mitchel demanded. Christian laughed. "He overheard us talking about it so we could only make it a surprise for you," He said, taking his hand. "C'mon, Mitchel," Christian sang. "I wanna show you something."

Christian

Mitchel was slowly going back to his old ways when he'd just broken up with Jordan. Usually, when he broke up with girls, he'd go out and party and be with whoever liked him as much as he liked them. But with Jordan it was different. He really loved her. Christian thought they were perfect. Sure, sometimes he'd be a little jealous of Jordan, but there was no denying that they were soulmates. So Mitchel went about it differently when they broke up. He stayed in the house for months. It was weeks before he left his room, and days before he talked to him and Clinton.

Mitchel was beginning to do it again after Molly died.

He killed her.

He left the house less. He stayed in his room and slept even though Mitchel didn't sleep. Not usually. He'd even stopped going to Christian's room. They never ended up doing anything more than sleeping but he still missed it. Mitchel ate even less than he usually did and even though he'd promised he wouldn't drink, he could still smell the scent of alcohol in his breath every so often.

He'd told Clinton his worries one day when he was at the hospital and then a few days after his discharge, Jesse came to him with the idea of taking the brothers somewhere. When they found out there was going to be a town fair the next city over, they jumped at the opportunity to take the two men out.

And there he was, with Mitchel at his side. He had a pair of sunglasses pushed up above his forehead. They would have kept his braids out of his face if they were still there. The sun was beginning to set over the horizon and bright lights were starting to turn on.

Beside Christian, a sign was brought to life and bright yellow lights blinked and flashed to illuminate the words, "fun house" where they stood. They were leaning on a railing to the balcony of the house and looking out to the rest of the park.

The four men ended up splitting up into pairs where Mitchel spent most of his time with Christian and Clinton was with Jesse. From their little perch, they could see the two other bandmates walking together and smiling, saying something, and turning around to duck into a booth. Clinton was so tall that he had to do so while Jesse slid onto a seat and took hold of a water gun. He could tell that Clinton had said something funny by the way Jesse's figure shook as he laughed.

Christian heard Mitchel chuckle as they watched them together.

"What?" He asked and rested his chin on his hand. Mitchel was leaning against him and he could smell the faint scent of fruit and honey from his shampoo. The scent was a subtle reminder that Mitchel was there with him and he couldn't help but snake an arm around his waist to hold him a little closer. He didn't know why he did, but maybe it had something to do with the throbbing feeling that took root in his chest whenever he could tell that Mitchel was sad.

He was happy then, he knew. Mitchel wasn't really one to enjoy carnivals and events like this, but he was happy all the same. Christian felt himself a smile when Mitchel shrugged and rested his head on his shoulder. He didn't seem to care if people saw them. They probably wouldn't recognize them anyway.

"Jesse's down bad," Mitchel murmured and his figure shook as he chuckled.

"I don't know about that. He might just be happy that he's okay," Christian said, and for a split second, he wondered if it was Jesse that he was talking about.

But the thought quickly left his head when he felt Mitchel spring up and pull away. Christian furrowed his brows when he watched Mitchel flinch and look away from something in the crowd of people below. The sun was setting, but he could see something flash behind his best friend's eyes as he backed away.

"Mitchel?" Christian asked, taking his hand. He watched as his lips moved as if he were whispering a name, but he quickly smiled and pulled Christian back into the funhouse.

"C'mon, let's go somewhere else," He said lightly, but he could tell that something happened. He saw something and he wanted to know what it was.

"What happened?" Christian asked as he followed him. He watched as Mitchel took deep breaths and squeezed his hand.

"Nothing," he replied, but his breath came out short.

"Come on, Mitchel, I'm not an idiot." Christian stopped and looked at Mitchel's face. "Did Jesse try to make a move on Clant or something?" He joked.

Mitchel shook his head but didn't meet his eyes. It started to worry him but he couldn't imagine what had spooked him. Mitchel started walking again and they passed a couple with a small child. They weaved their way through a maze of glass and mirrors and Christian tried to ask what had happened once more.

Mitchel only quickened his pace. He could hear his breath come out shallow and watched as he stumbled and he could have sworn he heard him let out a little whimper.

"Stop!" Christian said finally. He pulled his hand out of Mitchel's tight grasp and pushed him against the wall beside a large turning tube that lead to the exit from the house.

He didn't know why he did it, but he shoved his lips against his best friend's. It seemed to do the trick because Mitchel's hands stopped shaking and he grabbed a handful of his shirt. He tasted like the soda that they'd shared earlier and he could hear it as his breath returned when he pulled away. Mitchel stared at him for a few moments in a daze, and then he pulled away as his face turned a few shades redder.

He didn't know why he was so flustered though- it's not like they hadn't kissed before.

"Now do you want to tell me what just happened?" He asked his friend. Mitchel looked away.

"No," He said. Christian sighed and shook his head.

"Alright, fine," He said and took his hand. He let Mitchel lead him away from the house and away from the direction he'd been looking when he saw whatever he saw.

Christian wasn't going to press him anymore- it would only ruin the mood and they were having a pretty good day before the incident. So, he decided that he would try to save it. They passed Clinton and Jesse as they walked and stopped to briefly talk about how they spent their afternoons. Mitchel left out the part where he practically ran away from the funhouse.

And then they were off again. Mitchel lead him through the park once more. He played what he wanted, bought what he wanted. He watched Mitchel as he tried to discretely glance over his shoulder every other minute, but nothing about Mitchel was ever discreet.

When Christian asked if he wanted to go home, Mitchel just gave him a small smile and said that he was fine (all while checking behind Christian's shoulder, of course). It was clear that he was looking for something, so when Christian saw the Ferris wheel, he led the older man to it. That way, he could get his mind off of whatever was bothering him on the ground, and they could enjoy the sunset together.

Christian smiled to himself, silently thinking of how smooth he was.

"Wait, Kras, I hate heights," Mitchel said, glancing around.

"More than spiders?"

"Well no- not more than spiders but.." He craned his neck to see the top of the wheel. Mitchel cautiously looked around and then suddenly he was pulling him. "Yep, let's go," He said, and then they were in line.

When it was their turn to get on, Mitchel didn't think twice before stepping on and sliding onto his seat. This wheel was quite large with spacious white boxes where people were supposed to sit. There were seat belts that probably no one used. Mitchel did though. He didn't look out of the window. He didn't even comment about the scent of the box- it was as if someone had thrown up cotton candy and corn dogs- and Christian wouldn't have been surprised if someone did.

The ride started a few minutes later and for a while, neither of them said anything. Sure, he and Mitchel had their fair share of silent moments together, but they were barely ever... awkward.

It felt like Christian was in the seventh grade and on his first date all over again. It was almost embarrassing! Christian was about to pull out the, "so, you come out here often?" line, but Mitchel spoke before he had a chance. He'd been stiffly sitting on the wheel for a long time, staring ahead as the sun slowly slid farther and farther down towards the other side of the earth.

"I'm sorry," He said quietly. When Christian didn't reply, he continued. "I don't know how to say it. It's just... hard."

And he understood. Mitchel was going through a lot, but so was he. They both had their own shit but that was why they had each other. When they were together, everything worked out. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Mitchel play with and squeeze his fingers. He fiddled with his hands when he was nervous, but he had nothing to be nervous about- or so Christian thought. And then his leg started bouncing and he rested his head against the headrest behind them and closed his eyes.

Christian waited patiently as Mitchel focused on his breathing, blinking away tears that were forming in his eyes. He would have held his hand but he knew that at moments like that, it was best to just be silent and let Mitchel do what he needed to do to calm down. Soon, as the wheel reached the top and they had a perfect view of the sky, Mitchel finally opened his eyes and looked up.

Christian could have sworn he heard his breath catch when he saw the sky. His eyes were wide as he took in the view of the setting sun. It was like nothing that they'd seen before. The sky was full of clouds yet somehow the sun demanded to be seen. Its vibrant reddish-orange hue bled into the clouds. Its bright glow peeked behind a small forest of tall dark trees. The sun was blinding but they looked anyway. They wouldn't dare miss it.

The sky alone was enough to calm Mitchel.

He didn't look away from it when he said, "You're so good to me." Christan looked at him.

"You're my best friend, Mitchel, of course, I'm going to be nice to you-"

"I killed your fucking girlfriend," Mitchel interrupted him. He looked at him then with glowing blue eyes. The sun hit his face in all the right spots and it was enough for his own breath to hitch. It was a beautiful sight on a face that spoke ugly words.

"I told you I forgive you," Christian whispered. He didn't know why his voice came out so quietly but no matter how loud he wanted to be, his hushed tone was all that was willing to come out. Mitchel shook his head.

"No. No, you don't," He replied. He looked back out to the fading sky. "You don't but you want to and I'm grateful." His voice caught and it looked like he was about to cry. "So grateful."

Christian's gaze dropped to his hands. He didn't know what to say. Nothing could be said to make Mitchel stop torturing himself. He knew he felt guilty. He knew that he was right. It was a small, small portion, but the words he spoke were the truth. There would always be a part of Christian that hated Mitchel for what he did. But he loved him anyway. And he hated himself for that too. Sometimes he felt crazy because of it. But that's just it. Love makes you crazy.

Mitchel

He was picking at his nails again and it hurt. The dull ache was the only thing that kept him from fading away. The sun barely peeked from behind the trees but its powerful rays still shot through the sky like the final act of a musical.

He was glad that Christian had taken him to the wheel. The cool almost summer breeze brushed against and kissed his skin. It was gentle and calming and forced the illusion that everything was okay. He needed that feeling- craved it even.

The Ferris wheel began its descent and it safely brought the two of them back down to the ground. Mitchel thought that the ride had ended and he was grateful for it. It gave him a few moments to enjoy the evening breeze and talk to Christian about the things that really mattered. But the ride wasn't done.

It stopped at the base of the wheel but the doors to the box didn't open. Mitchel furrowed and looked around, stopping to wipe his eyes from his stupid tears.

"What's happening?" He asked. Christian leaned over and peaked out of the box. When he looked back at Mitchel, he said, "It's not over. They're stopping to let people off and let people on."

Mitchel sat back in his seat. They'd probably go around for another few minutes and then get off.

He focussed his gaze out of the window again. The sun had almost fully set, and the shadows that covered the park were somewhat eerie. Though it was a beautiful sight, the aftermath was one that he didn't want to witness- especially when he kept seeing her.

Ever since the car ride, he'd been seeing her wherever they went. She stalked them silently but her mere presence was enough to chill him to his bones. He hated seeing her face, no matter how beautiful she was.

When they were high in the sky, she'd briefly left his mind. As soon as the Ferris wheel stopped moving and they were hovering over the ground, she returned to his mind.

As if she were on cue, her face slowly appeared through the window. Mitchel swallowed and his eyes widened. She looked different. Her skin was a darker shade. And her eyes were glowing gold. Her complexion had a blueish tint and although some parts of her skin were rotten, she was almost see-through. Through the glass, he could smell the putrid odor of rotting flesh and it was enough to make him want to vomit.

Christian was completely unbothered. Her presence didn't catch his attention. Did he even see her? She was right there! When he looked at Mitchel, he said, "what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."